Cheating
I have seen more women cheat in my lifetime, however I have also seen men cheat as well. What is ones definition of "cheating"? Is it the straight up exchange of body fluids or is it more on a mental level, or both? Are friendships considered cheating? It all depends what your own personal meaning is and what type of arrangement your relationship has and what is allowed.
There is no connection between infidelity and gender.
Selfishness is a human instinct, not an exclusively male instinct. Or a female's.
I won't make any presumptions about what you may or may not have been through. But if you've been burned by someone(male, female, or other), if you let that experience sour the way you see everyone else of that race, caste, or class is only going to act as a disservice.
Have faith. Very few people are inherently bad.
Selfishness is a human instinct, not an exclusively male instinct. Or a female's.
I won't make any presumptions about what you may or may not have been through. But if you've been burned by someone(male, female, or other), if you let that experience sour the way you see everyone else of that race, caste, or class is only going to act as a disservice.
Have faith. Very few people are inherently bad.
HHMCameron said:it is not selfishness alone...
sometimes it is desperation trying to recapture something you once had
other times you suddenly discover that the one you married is not the one you really love
I always wonder about this. Do we slowly fall out of love with our partners or wake up and realise we never did love them?
I was the one left behind in most of my relationships. And I always wondered.
sometimes it is desperation trying to recapture something you once had
other times you suddenly discover that the one you married is not the one you really love
I always wonder about this. Do we slowly fall out of love with our partners or wake up and realise we never did love them?
I was the one left behind in most of my relationships. And I always wondered.
some times it is a suddenness that strikes like lightning, a forgotten memory that resurges.. obliterating past happiness and abiding love with a love that strikes like wildfire
other times it is the slow distancing of affections or slowly being pushed away by ones inadequacies
physical infidelity can be explained away...there are even some relationships that would permit one or both partners to have play toys
it is infidelity of the heart that cannot be explained away
and should not be forgiven
it is not as easily explained away when one has not seen the other woman in ten years, and does not intend to violate a trust, but one cannot go without sparse and prohibited digital communication with one only interested in friendship
other times it is the slow distancing of affections or slowly being pushed away by ones inadequacies
physical infidelity can be explained away...there are even some relationships that would permit one or both partners to have play toys
it is infidelity of the heart that cannot be explained away
and should not be forgiven
it is not as easily explained away when one has not seen the other woman in ten years, and does not intend to violate a trust, but one cannot go without sparse and prohibited digital communication with one only interested in friendship
HHMCameron said:some times it is a suddenness that strikes like lightning, a forgotten memory that resurges.. obliterating past happiness and abiding love with a love that strikes like wildfire
other times it is the slow distancing of affections or slowly being pushed away by ones inadequacies
physical infidelity can be explained away...there are even some relationships that would permit one or both partners to have play toys
it is infidelity of the heart that cannot be explained away
and should not be forgiven
it is not as easily explained away when one has not seen the other woman in ten years, and does not intend to violate a trust, but one cannot go without sparse and prohibited digital communication with one only interested in friendship
That being said...you would be alright and forgive a partner that slept with someone else because of lust...but not if they fell in love?
other times it is the slow distancing of affections or slowly being pushed away by ones inadequacies
physical infidelity can be explained away...there are even some relationships that would permit one or both partners to have play toys
it is infidelity of the heart that cannot be explained away
and should not be forgiven
it is not as easily explained away when one has not seen the other woman in ten years, and does not intend to violate a trust, but one cannot go without sparse and prohibited digital communication with one only interested in friendship
That being said...you would be alright and forgive a partner that slept with someone else because of lust...but not if they fell in love?
The standard psychological view is that men and women tend to regard infidelity in very different ways. Though, because of the complexity of humans it is not an absolute division. Because men are capable of fathering vast numbers of children (the claimed record is over 800) whereas women are limited to relatively few, men tend to regard sexual infidelity as worse (in that they will then have to waste resources on a 'cuckoo' that does not carry their genes), whereas women regard emotional infidelity as the more serious (in that they risk losing the support of the man to the probable detriment of their more valuable children). So, in this case, the prediction would be that women would be more likely to forgive.
Anonymous
HHMCameron said:
it is infidelity of the heart that cannot be explained away
and should not be forgiven
"I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore..."
Don Henley ...Heart of the Matter
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xezg3z5IE8I
it is infidelity of the heart that cannot be explained away
and should not be forgiven
"I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore..."
Don Henley ...Heart of the Matter
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xezg3z5IE8I
If you're speaking from an American perspective cheating is wrong and frowned upon. In some cultures it is expected. In some countries having a mistress is totally acceptable. Americans are so uptight and self righteous that we pretend as if we're a moral compass when in actuality, we're just as dirty as anyone else. Other cultures just embrace men's inability to keep it in their pants. Do you know how many times Bob Marley cheated on Rita? Neither does she, but she knows it was ALOT. Did she ask for a divorce? Why not? (Rhetorical) Read the book "No Woman No Cry", by Rita Marley.
I'm not making any admissions here, but I can fully understand why a person would "cheat" or step outside of their committed relationship. For some, it comes down to things other than just an exciting fling to see what else is out there, but rather an admission to oneself that what you thought you wanted, way back when, overshadowed what you were actually destined for, and you missed the signs that were supposed to lead you elsewhere, for not wanting to listen to others, be it other people, God, the Universe, Fate, etc.
Sometimes, meeting the person you were supposed to be with, is delayed, for the reasoning above, and sometimes a "cheat" is necessary to reaffirm that maybe, perhaps you did get it right, initially. Or, another possibility is that an extra-something can work to enhance what you already have and add to the person you already are and will become.
But most of all, I think it's God's way of saying: "I understand how you feel, and why you think as you do, I can turn any situation around and still give you what I had intended for you by working with what you did for yourself instead of waiting on me, like I wanted you to. But that's ok, I'm a God of second chances."
Sometimes, meeting the person you were supposed to be with, is delayed, for the reasoning above, and sometimes a "cheat" is necessary to reaffirm that maybe, perhaps you did get it right, initially. Or, another possibility is that an extra-something can work to enhance what you already have and add to the person you already are and will become.
But most of all, I think it's God's way of saying: "I understand how you feel, and why you think as you do, I can turn any situation around and still give you what I had intended for you by working with what you did for yourself instead of waiting on me, like I wanted you to. But that's ok, I'm a God of second chances."
Grace said:That being said...you would be alright and forgive a partner that slept with someone else because of lust...but not if they fell in love?
I am poly,
I am the betrayer,
If my wife wanted to play she knows she has permission.
I would not mind it if she fell in love with another also.. I would only ask that I could be friends with him .
But she is monogamous.
And we have yet to fully recover from the sudden resurgence of my obsession with Raven...
I thought I could be normal,
I thought I could be faithful
I thought raven would stay away because she was happily married
Simple lust would be a quick betrayal and over .. eventually... you either get past it or you don't
falling in love with someone else instead of (or in addition to) is a recurring betrayal every second of every day
I am poly,
I am the betrayer,
If my wife wanted to play she knows she has permission.
I would not mind it if she fell in love with another also.. I would only ask that I could be friends with him .
But she is monogamous.
And we have yet to fully recover from the sudden resurgence of my obsession with Raven...
I thought I could be normal,
I thought I could be faithful
I thought raven would stay away because she was happily married
Simple lust would be a quick betrayal and over .. eventually... you either get past it or you don't
falling in love with someone else instead of (or in addition to) is a recurring betrayal every second of every day
