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is there a balance between bdsm and sexual harassment/assaul

Umm
Dangerous Mind
Latvia 1awards
Joined 6th Dec 2015
Forum Posts: 2373

perhaps it's best to treat people as individuals and try not to sexually harass anyone regardless of gender (:


Poetryman said:
Is the way men mistreat women in society related to how men want domination in the bedroom?


If men want to be dominated in the bedroom and it's causing them to mistreat women, they should probably work on their communication skills.

you're welcome

poet Anonymous

todski28 said:Equality is such a loaded topic

I know for a fact that I am weaker than my other half. Physically. I also know that the first thing I do when I can’t open a jar sometimes is say “can you open this for me?” - do I for a second question the gender politics of this act? Do I for a second think that I somehow might be the weaker sex?

No. He’s just fkn stronger than me.

The problem with equality (and I may get lynched here) is that it’s over thought.

Of course I want women to be basically equal in terms of pay to men in the workplace. Of course I’m proud that women fought for the vote. Of course I’m immensely proud that us magical, magical creatures can foster new life and grow tiny human beings from within us.

But I don’t feel the need to be a fkn bodybuilder or stop shaving my legs or don the flag of militant feminism to make some weird point that we are somehow equal to men.

Why? because I don’t really need too.

Case in point I dealt with a complaint once where an androgynous woman went into the ladies toilets... and a woman complained because she thought it was a dude.

Now I’m not being funny here or anything, but if you want gender equality surely it wouldn’t matter if it was a guy. On a primal level, human beings excrete. They have done for thousands upon thousands of years. At what stage did society decide that we had to even shit according to gender?

It’s not gender that divided society. It’s people. People’s idea of what is right and wrong. People’s idea of what constitutes acceptance.

All I know is I like men. I also like women. For the record, I also like anything inbetween. If you’re a nice person, you’re a nice person. I couldn’t give less of a shit about trying to define it all.

I find it fascinating when I see children make friends with each other, and this highlights my point very well. Children don’t have any filter - they aren’t bothered whether you’re a boy or a girl. They aren’t bothered if you’re black or white. They are bothered if you have a cool toy truck or some felt tips that they could also play with. And that reinforces my point even more. We get taught what is acceptable by society and what isn’t as we grow, and we loose that care-free filter.

And that makes us really shitty, judgemental human beings.

poet Anonymous

This is quite literally the perfect answer from the perspective of another female who feels the same way as this.

poet Anonymous

StarliteStarfright said:This is quite literally the perfect answer from the perspective of another female who feels the same way as this.

*high five*

lepperochan
Craic-Dealer
Guardian of Shadows
Palestine 67awards
Joined 1st Apr 2011
Forum Posts: 14449

see, straight away your talking about treating females like males and vice versa in the context of equality. I'm saying forget gender and treat people like they're persons. or simply adopt a "do unto others as you want done to you"


about sexuality, certainly not suggesting man and women become blank people with no character, personality etc.everything is sexualized, power drinks, cars,washing up liquid etc.

[I'm for a total ban on advertising aimed at children. essentially a group of people get together and figure out a formula to psych-op our children. ]

I think it boils down to respect. respect for ourselves and respect for others.

poet Anonymous


poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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Poetryman
Tyrant of Words
United States 29awards
Joined 14th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 1530

Things do need to change but I can see it being taken too far because not everyone agrees on what is too far. How does a guy ever ask out a woman. Maybe we will all need dating websites to prevent anyone from being offended because someone hey perceive to be ugly asked them for a date. Maybe we should have different color dog tags to let others know if it's ok to ask each other out.

Then we need a special color bracelet o show if we are a Dom or a sub.

But what we really need is good parenting so we know how o treat each other.

I used o teach and I always thought it was crazy that there wasn't a class on human interaction. There should be parenting classes for kids starting at age 12 on how to teach your children whatever you want hem to learn. It seems like we teach kids all these subjects but leave out the most important ones, like how to be equals. Parents spend very little time deliberately teaching their children anything. Mostly kids just absorb bad behavior from them and then have no idea how to find someone to love, let alone actually love hem. Then we have o worry about offending each other or what's ok to do in the bedroom. It's like we need to do a comprehensive job interview and include all of our likes and dislikes and then never, EVER change our minds about anything.

My issue about bdsm is not so much about Domination or submission as it is about how it gets introduced and implemented because I have heard many experiences from women who were with men who slowly eased hem into it. It kept escalating into things they didn't want but by that time they were being completely controlled and abused. So it's like the president saying i's ok for him to obstruct justice because he's in charge. Nixon tried hat too when he said it's not illegal when the president does it, placing himself above he law. That has happened with Doms who make he rules. Once you groom your victim to think being beaten is normal, they stop complaining and accept their whippings.

JJ

lepperochan
Craic-Dealer
Guardian of Shadows
Palestine 67awards
Joined 1st Apr 2011
Forum Posts: 14449

I think most of us are born with an inherent respect for everything. especially things with a heartbeat. some of us lose it

conditional respect is a tempory gift given until actions or words diminish it. is it worth anything ?

I think sometimes we may mix up trust and respect or something like that ..maybe

i think we should respect everyone and everything without borders. I don't really buy into the have to earn respect line of thought. not knocking it


also, I appreciate the conversation. very interesting.

Poetryman
Tyrant of Words
United States 29awards
Joined 14th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 1530

I'd like to believe that lep, but I see so much disrespect everywhere. Shopping at the market, sitting in a movie theater, working in an office, teaching in classrooms, driving around town, family relationships... everywhere, it seems like everyone wants to control whatever is going on. Reminds me of a sarcastic poem I wrote several years back...

"Who’s in Control Here!?"

I wanna make you watch all my favorite shows
Wanna expose your deepest secret so everybody knows
Wanna watch you cook my dinner from my easy chair
Wanna tell you I don’t care if you think life is unfair
Wanna hear water filling up the tub just before my bath
Wanna take all of your money and let you do the math
Wanna smell pancakes and eggs, from my waking bed
Wanna wash the puny brain in your pretty little head
All I wanna do is to control you

I wanna take away your cell phone for my own
Wanna text whenever I am not at home
Wanna sext whenever you’re too busy for me
Wanna delete all your contacts, all except for me
Wanna call all your friends and tell `em you can’t talk
Wanna listen to your calls and watch you like a hawk
Wanna make your actions echo every word I say
Wanna show you who is boss every single day
All I wanna do is to control you

I wanna sit next to you while you steer the wheel
Wanna be chauffeured ‘cos that’s just how I feel
Wanna let you know when it’s time to make a turn
Wanna ride till there’s no more gasoline to burn
Wanna tell you when to start and when it’s time to stop
Wanna make you evade the law and ignore every cop
Wanna make you drive faster when I’m feelin’ slow
Wanna hear you complainin’ how I’m always on the go
All I wanna do is to control you

I wanna let you know that you are not alone
Wanna run ‘em off the road for talkin on the phone
Wanna shout that the air and road belong to me
Wanna collect a toll ‘cos my road isn’t free
Wanna let everyone learn to get out of my way
Wanna end all freedom, it’s the price they gotta pay
Wanna give them equal opportunity to fall
Wanna let each one know who is in charge of it all
All I wanna do is control you too

JJ

poet Anonymous

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cold_fusion
Tyrant of Words
Palestine 20awards
Joined 14th June 2017
Forum Posts: 5184

Miss_Sub said:

I know for a fact that I am weaker than my other half. Physically. I also know that the first thing I do when I can’t open a jar sometimes is say “can you open this for me?” - do I for a second question the gender politics of this act? Do I for a second think that I somehow might be the weaker sex?

No. He’s just fkn stronger than me.

The problem with equality (and I may get lynched here) is that it’s over thought.

Of course I want women to be basically equal in terms of pay to men in the workplace. Of course I’m proud that women fought for the vote. Of course I’m immensely proud that us magical, magical creatures can foster new life and grow tiny human beings from within us.

But I don’t feel the need to be a fkn bodybuilder or stop shaving my legs or don the flag of militant feminism to make some weird point that we are somehow equal to men.

Why? because I don’t really need too.

Case in point I dealt with a complaint once where an androgynous woman went into the ladies toilets... and a woman complained because she thought it was a dude.

Now I’m not being funny here or anything, but if you want gender equality surely it wouldn’t matter if it was a guy. On a primal level, human beings excrete. They have done for thousands upon thousands of years. At what stage did society decide that we had to even shit according to gender?

It’s not gender that divided society. It’s people. People’s idea of what is right and wrong. People’s idea of what constitutes acceptance.

All I know is I like men. I also like women. For the record, I also like anything inbetween. If you’re a nice person, you’re a nice person. I couldn’t give less of a shit about trying to define it all.

I find it fascinating when I see children make friends with each other, and this highlights my point very well. Children don’t have any filter - they aren’t bothered whether you’re a boy or a girl. They aren’t bothered if you’re black or white. They are bothered if you have a cool toy truck or some felt tips that they could also play with. And that reinforces my point even more. We get taught what is acceptable by society and what isn’t as we grow, and we loose that care-free filter.

And that makes us really shitty, judgemental human beings.


Bull's eye.

poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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