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is there a balance between bdsm and sexual harassment/assaul

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Poetryman
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is there a balance between bdm and sexual harassment/assault?

Is the way men mistreat women in society related to how men want domination in the bedroom?
What about female Doms? How about female bosses?
I've had many female managers and supervisors over the years. None sexually harassed me, but I often thought about calling them b!+©#'$...
What do you think?

JJ

poet Anonymous

I donít think there is a balance as such but I think there is a big difference. The difference being sexual harrasment or assault doesnít have anotherís consent whereas BDSM could be considered a sexual preference and has ones consent. Also, you are able to stop BDSM practices if you like whereas you may not be able to stop a sexual assault.

I donít think itís related to how men treat women in society because many women like to be dominant in the bedroom, I think itís simply a sexual preference that you can choose to engage in or not. I think attitudes in society towards women run far deeper than sexual dominance and come from so many different places.

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todski28
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as a response to the thread starter, possibly, there are so many things that lurk beneath the surface of our own intellect, our own belief structures, our own decisions, but at the end of the day it's an action between two consenting adults, how many activities do you want to police between people in an attempt to equalize our entire existence?

I have never been with a woman that doesn't like some kind of dominance in the bedroom, how far they wish to go is up to them, all we can do is discuss and ask, but not in the moment because it kills the passion, but discussed openly between the two parties. otherwise it goes beyond consent

StarliteStarfright said:I donít think there is a balance as such but I think there is a big difference. The difference being sexual harrasment or assault doesnít have anotherís consent whereas BDSM could be considered a sexual preference and has ones consent. Also, you are able to stop BDSM practices if you like whereas you may not be able to stop a sexual assault.

I donít think itís related to how men treat women in society because many women like to be dominant in the bedroom, I think itís simply a sexual preference that you can choose to engage in or not. I think attitudes in society towards women run far deeper than sexual dominance and come from so many different places.


can you elaborate on this please, I'm currently in a mental crisis regarding this exact same topic.


poet Anonymous

What part would you like me to elaborate on?

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todski28
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StarliteStarfright said:What part would you like me to elaborate on?

attitudes in society towards women run far deeper than sexual dominance and come from so many different places.

What attitudes?

poet Anonymous

The attitude that men are superior to women in most ways. That is not to tar all men with the same brush, as not all men think like that, however it is an underlying problem thatís having a lot of light shed on it in society. Iím not going to go too deep into it because I think if you do some research there are a million examples of how men dominate in society over women (or appear to), not to say that there arenít powerful and dominating women in the world too as there are. It is a very complex subject and you can only come to your own conclusions based on research, your own experiences (which obviously you wonít have as a woman), I mean even down to the gender pay gap you have to really delve into those aspects in our society to understand it a bit more. I am aware that men too get sexually assaulted and the like, Iím not sure how many men are touched without consent on a daily basis due to underlying attitudes though.

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todski28
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StarliteStarfright said:The attitude that men are superior to women in most ways. That is not to tar all men with the same brush, as not all men think like that, however it is an underlying problem thatís having a lot of light shed on it in society. Iím not going to go too deep into it because I think if you do some research there are a million examples of how men dominate in society over women (or appear to), not to say that there arenít powerful and dominating women in the world too as there are. It is a very complex subject and you can only come to your own conclusions based on research, your own experiences (which obviously you wonít have as a woman), I mean even down to the gender pay gap you have to really delve into those aspects in our society to understand it a bit more. I am aware that men too get sexually assaulted and the like, Iím not sure how many men are touched without consent on a daily basis due to underlying attitudes though.

I have tried to look into this subject and every single thing has contrary opinions, counter arguments and associations with anecdotal truths, it is essentially a black hole of running around in circles, I could point you at three altruistic articles, three misogynist articles and three totally misandric articles.

I grew up watching my mother beaten into hospital by a drug addicted, violent and totally deranged man, I have been a drug addicted violent and deranged man.

the problem is my personal experience and actions are totally different to almost every other man on the planet, and also my actions and intentions are subjected to everyone else interpretations. so beyond the personal examinations and personal reflections. some of my conclusions are probably very wrong, or they may be right but any discussion of them invites criticism, in a public forum, and coming from a male perspective is dismissed because of my genitals and physical size is judged as wrong because I am not a woman.

in the same vein the people throwing out that comment are not men, see what I'm saying here?


poet Anonymous

Well thatís precisely my point, itís all from our own perspectives, subject to interpretation and different perceptions which is why I wonít go into it because itís too complex. Plus, we are all human and have different experiences, responses, opinions, facts, issues. Iím not going to sit here and say my life has been ruined by the existence of men and their attitudes as it hasnít.

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lepperochan
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Is the way *some* men mistreat women in society related to how *those* men want domination in the bedroom?  yes, of course.

that said, some of those some men might be homosexual..


Bible tells us about Eve. i'd hazzard a guess that right there is where a lot of women's societal issues stem from.

at the end of the day -people mistreat people- the world is full of it. its handy to have a demon to blame, but history shows us both genders have their share of mentally disturbed

I don't really see the correlation between sexual harrasment and BDSM

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Miss_Sub
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Hello.

BDSM requires the consent of both parties. If itís not safe, sane, and consensual then itís not part of the BDSM spectrum.

Sexual harassment / assault is not consensual. There lies the difference. I guess thatís the black and white answer.

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todski28
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Miss_Sub said:Hello.

BDSM requires the consent of both parties. If itís not safe, sane, and consensual then itís not part of the BDSM spectrum.

Sexual harassment / assault is not consensual. There lies the difference. I guess thatís the black and white answer.


Or black and blue answer

Back to the topic, is poetryman suggesting that impressionably naieve men are viewing bdsm as a mode in which women wish to be treated in a permenant societal basis?

As opposed to it being an individualised sexual dynamic between two people?

Possibly, could be a total lack of male role models and proper deiscipline that needs to be impressed okn men more so than wpmen based on the standard deviations of generalised behaviour.

I was 5ft 11 and 220 lbs at thirteen, what threat was there from my mother?

We are one of the few creatures on the planet that adheres to an addage that might doesn't make right, most if not all other animal heirarchial structures are based on the larger sexually dimorphic of the two being dominant for protection purposes, this isnt a philisophical arguement but a statement of fact.

So men have to curb a natural tendency to ise their physical advantages to allow others to open the way to dialog and communication. Without a physical detterent and a ways and means for a woman to control an adolescent boy how the hell is he supposed to learn respect? Or how to treat a woman



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lepperochan
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Hullo and good greetings

could be onto something there. I mean, early cave man simply found a mate and knocked her dafuk out...

I listened to some guy on the radio talking about how our primal instinct and actions died when we started farming. he made a bit of sense

[ on a side note, there's a thing called sexsomnia. it's a rare condition where a person will engage in activities while asleep.]

I think maybe both genders have the same primary objectives -survive and multiply-  

we may have to accept these tendencies of disrespect, violence and such are universal among all genders. its a people thing. perhaps its more prevalent within males because strength and power.

that said, there are the obvious cases of Elizabeth  Bathroy, Queens and such. because power

no question some young people could watch shades of Gray or something and get the wrong idea. probably a guidance issue

[ on another side side note I think  any person who  sexually assaults another person should be chemically castrated. end of]

anyhow. intresting conversations.  I thought about hitting my mother. I dont think I ever did, though I slammed my bedroom door and caught her arm (accident) apart from that I've never hit any female.

that said, fell in love with a lady who introduced me to her world . it was the most exciting period in my life for a longe time. can guarantee the lady knows more about anatomy, and pleasure than most of us. shout out to little Kat ♡

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todski28
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lepperochan said:Hullo and good greetings

could be onto something there. I mean, early cave man simply found a mate and knocked her dafuk out...

I listened to some guy on the radio talking about how our primal instinct and actions died when we started farming. he made a bit of sense

[ on a side note, there's a thing called sexsomnia. it's a rare condition where a person will engage in activities while asleep.]

I think maybe both genders have the same primary objectives -survive and multiply-  

we may have to accept these tendencies of disrespect, violence and such are universal among all genders. its a people thing. perhaps its more prevalent within males because strength and power.

that said, there are the obvious cases of Elizabeth  Bathroy, Queens and such. because power

no question some young people could watch shades of Gray or something and get the wrong idea. probably a guidance issue

[ on another side side note I think  any person who  sexually assaults another person should be chemically castrated. end of]

anyhow. intresting conversations.  I thought about hitting my mother. I dont think I ever did, though I slammed my bedroom door and caught her arm (accident) apart from that I've never hit any female.

that said, fell in love with a lady who introduced me to her world . it was the most exciting period in my life for a longe time. can guarantee the lady knows more about anatomy, and pleasure than most of us. shout out to little Kat ♡


The difference between agressions between male and female is pretty close to even from almost every source of data I can find with a slight tip toward women being more violent toward spouse and kids.

Men being  on average bigger and stronger do a larger amount of physical harm, but women are violent more often by a margin of percentage.  If you like I can try dig up some of the stats i have crossed in passing.

On the sexual assault and chemical castration, where do you draw the line, what is the arbiter of truth before you get bits removed, maybe a bit of virtue signalling there 😁 and in essence I agree with you, but the femenine characteristic includes a higher degree of fear than a man typically has (an avereage trait difference, as concluded in psychological research, and not indicative of all women) can construe eye contact as sexual assault. There are by-laws in american universities as of right now that prohibit prolonged eye contact with a woman because it can be viewed as sexual assault. Prolonged agressive eye contact and body language from a woman toward me would be a joke, unless shes a russian weight lifter with a testosterone fuelled 6inch clit (actually happens with too many steroids), from myself back to a woman, would be viewed as intimidating....

Now we are discussing passing laws enforceable by an agressive second party based entirely on feelings. Do I think eye contact and body language can convey disdain, sexual contempt and agressive sexual premise, yes I do and can concieve of how I can do it, but its cheap intimidation and useless in real human interactions unless you are a weak man or posessed by a certain ideology that deems your actions as the gold standard.... however does it make it a crime worthy of chemical castration?
If so what social dynamic change is this going to perpetrate in men?




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lepperochan
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didn't really put much thought into the meat and potatoes of the casterations. but for the sake of clarity I'd be talking about no-brainer cases where people were violated against will. like agents of a God for instance who, both male and female abuse[d] at will. sometimes to point of death. there are of course other examples, church is the easiest for illustration purposes

I think the eye contact thing is bazaar. I hope it doesn't spread. I mean, come on. with everything else the justice system has to deal with, now there's going to be laws on eye contact

it takes two people to have a successful eye contact. what's up with that case closed, good fellow.


at the end of day, in terms of castration. chemical casteration can be temporary. more than that it supresses the feelings and urges which fuel and drive the attacks

I dont know about effects of social dynamics of men. that said, I think your question could have been based on a more far-reaching law

I offer a fullpology for the brief change of direction of thread :

i think we need to get used to looking at each other as people. so many boxes, division, minorities, majority

When we see each other as people we will be the people -The good book of Soźe

I think respect, equality would follow. and the radical change of social dynamics should lead to a better quality of life for everyone.

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todski28
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Equality us such a loaded topic,

But how far reaching does a simple thing like eye contact being policed go? The tyranny of stupidity occurs one step at a time, so at first it is agressive eye contact which has a mode of merit in the laws attempt to curb it, but spiral it out to its furthest conclusions.... where does it stop, no man is allowed eye contact with any woman unless she so chooses?

Claim i m being over dramatic, claim Im being unreasonable, but human nature tends to run us out into the extreme ends of things before they get back to a even balance.

It may be a slight deviation from the thread start up but it is all interconnected.

Equality..... what is that?

Am I to ignore a womans sexuality and treat her exactly like a man?
With an underlying slight hostility that they have the potential to steal or procure resources that I need for myself and my family? That she is after my job my ability to produce a livlihood for my family? That we are now it direct hostile competition for every good thing in life?

Do i treat her like one of the guys, because its a rare woman that can stand head high in a mans world without being offended, or even intimidated since on average men are bigger and stronger hence new laws and legislation in work places to curb anything that involves sexuality, jokes, abrasive behaviour so that women can integrate into the workplace and work alongside us without fear. Now dont get me wrong a lot of this is overdue and social changes take time to occur, watch some of the old sitcoms and see how they portayed women back then. Weve only been trying this full time w men in the workforce thing for maybe what 80years at an absolute stretch, so still ironing out the kinks

Now if I choose yo treat all women as one of the guys or exactly equal to a man, at what point does she feel offended that Im ignoring a basic and fundamental part of her make up, i.e. her femeninity? If she asks for help to lift something do i laugh at her and call her pathetic in a joking way like i do on an almost daily basis with my other male colleagues?

Is the answer to socialize all girls like boys? Or to try and socialize all boys like girls, or do we socialize them to be androgynous amorphs blobs of sameness, so that the traits most admired in a woman and or man never manifest themselves due to self supression?

Do women in a day to day basis have it that hard, are they really that opressed, whatg stops them from opening up all female work places? can some one throw me a bone here because ive been running myself into exhaustion tryijng to figure this shit out on my own

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