Unleash the Beast

Howling

The cold autumn air
Is nothing compared to the sting of the bitterness of my broken heart
Whose only enticement to beat comes from the aspiration
That in the thick of the night
When the world is asleep
Your eyelids quiver and your body tosses and turns
You are seared with frustration
And the other side of the pillow brings no relief
From the torture of karma and the pain that you caused
Drowning in the tears you take no responsibility for
And that you await with baited breath
For the death of your dreams to be swift
For lo, my delusional darling
Your reprieve is met with unceasing denial
Don't fear the bite of the beast that you unleashed

i'm never going to tell you
how angry i am
because i don't have the right
to be angry

because none of this is your fault
is it, really
you didn't make me fall in love with you
i mean
i suppose you weren't exactly helping
once you found out

but even then i can't blame you
it just happened and honestly
it's no ones fault but mine
which is why i'm so fucking angry

because you were just a kid
with puppy dog eyes
and i was just a kid
who'd never fallen in love before
so i had no clue what to do
when i did

and i'm so angry
because you knew
and you just let me fall
but you still talked sweetly
and said we were friends
when i hit the ground

i think i'd have been better off
if you'd just yelled at me
like i expected you would

Soft and White

You had told me
No girl had ever made you cum from a blow job.
But I did, somehow.
I have to remind myself it means nothing.
I remember being a very young girl.
I'd watch the way the other girls acted.
I tried to gauge their thought processes.
Were their minds helplessly centered on
The boys like mine was?
It didn't appear to be so.
I just remember... I just remember.
Always the flash of soft stubble.
An arm with a scattering of brown hair.
The instantaneous visceral longing.
My blood pumping.
The icons of my father that haunted me,
Shaving razor. Old Spice. His guitar
Propped against the wall and the leather
Seats in the old Corvette that smelled like...
Like...
Something painfully, deliciously male.
And I still think of you, though I knew I had
To let you go. I think of what I'd let you do to me,
Which is everything.
I know I've never been pretty enough.
Maybe when I was young,
But even then there was something toxic about me,
I think guys could sense the need...
I could never act coy and uninterested
Like my mom told me to in order to land a guy's heart.
I still look at your pictures though I'm trying
To cure myself of your throbbing in me.
I still like to savor the rush of feeling
Just your eyes make ripple over my skin.
A fever... A soft white rustling.
But it doesn't remain soft for long.
Everything liquifies in me the more my eyes
Travel over you.
I remember the one who was 19
And I was 41.
Blond and blue eyed.
The one who made me beg for his cum.
He too said he wouldn't get off by just a blow.
The delicious surprise in him,
When he wrote me at four in the morning,
Telling me no one could take it like me.
He never knew, he never knew.
Thinking he'd come back,
That it would be enough.
No. No.
No.

THE JEWEL THIEF

You purloin my rationality
With an arsenal of tainted realities

This solid rock love of mine you too casually hold for ransom...
Still seeps into the clinched fists of my rage
And I squeeze and squeeeeeeze ...
Until the pain is compressed to my hope diamond

A philosopher's stone in its rarity
And just as precious...
Because at one time,
I walked gentle sloping paths towards my
horizons of  gold

Now scorching rock once called destinies road meets the bottom of my feet
Now running from this heat

This love gone mad...
Gets under my skin
I claw its itch until I am shredded
Bloodied to bits by your taunting

Waving your white flag...
Plagiarizing my fated surrender

I cry tears that beg your mercy
They are traitors to my dignity
And only aqueous stones that lead to my looking glass
Certainly not the definition of my being

As my being and its state
Will never
EVER
Be Defined by you

Awesome!  Thanks so much doll....
And great pieces everyone...