Suicide Hotline

For the last two years. I have tried with all of my heart to talk to a rep for suicide hotline. I've only ever tried online though because I can't talk if I'm so depressed that I'm going to pour out to a random stranger.
I've been fantasizing about what it would be like if I could last the 5 hours in line waiting (longest I've lasted was 3) and how the conversation would go. I don't know why, it just makes me feel better.

http://www.metrocrisisservices.org/library/images/SPL_logo_220x240_ENG.png
I challenge you to write a conversation between you and a suicide hotline rep. It doesn't have to be serious. This could be a:
-prank call
-misinterpretation
-You could give up before you get to the chat section or even say nothing when they pick up.


Rules:
-Keep it short enough to not drag on there's no word limit, but there's a point where it can go a bit too long.
-There must be a clear line between who's speaking
-Must have a reflection or ending statement at the end (Could just be one word)
-New
-Max of two entries per poet

H-E-L-P   HOTLINE

Waiting on queue
While life has me blue.
Help is on the way
But beginning from a million miles away.
Been sitting on queue for hours long
Hearing the same three PHONE HOLD songs
"Please hold..Your call is important to us!"
Then, why can't I get through, I desperately fuss.
As I wait...wait..wait some more.
Here it comes again: The racing thoughts' pour.
Finally, a rep answers my call
And I freak out and stand appalled
As she reads from a monotone script.
"Ma'am! Please...." I beg as the page she flips.
"Hush, dear child, I am saving your life!"
Without further ado, she shrugs off my gripe,
Returns to her script and resumes her read.
Finally her script ends and I am freed
From the torturous monotone read.
I think now she will listen to me,
But to my surprise, she says, "Okey, Dokey!
Now, let's wrap this up doing the Hokey Pokey!"

*^This is fiction and should NOT discourage anyone from seeking immediate help from depression/suicide hotline resources available.  The events described is NOT a true representation of any depression/suicide hotline call**

Child, child....Life goes up and life slams you down
But you are a spring and you will spring right up again.
Give time some time to work itself out
You are not feeling FACTS, you are feeling EMOTIONS.
Emotions are deceitful.  
They act prematurely.
In anger, you snap at your loved ones
And then wonder why you did such act!
If you end your life because feelings are telling you it is for the best
It is lying to you because life is to be lived.
Curveballs of life, no matter how hard it aims at you,
Is not to break you, but to make you.
Life is a teacher and you are the student.
The master seems to beat and bruise a student learning the arts
He seems mean and cruel... as so does life
But, the harder it blows, the higher you rise.
And you will one day smile and see all along
That the scars life gave you can work for good
Because you will rise INVINCIBLE!
Child, Child...Don't give up now!
Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs.
What would you gain if you ended up short
And never see the rainbow after the rain
Or never see the sun after the storm?
Do you work a field not to see the harvest?
Work a job and not want to see a paycheck?
If blessings are reached by going through the pain
Then, by all means, child, go through the pain
Because the reward will be worth the price!
And if you need a friend, contact me...
I will be there through thick-n-thin,
Hold your hand and lead you through....
You are not alone!  Child, you are not alone!

                  "Thanks!  The endless wait time was well worth the wait!"

Suicide hotline....how may I help you
.....I can't find a cheese to go with this poison
have you tried Gorgonzola cheese...you won't even taste it
& I said it ain't a thing
but a chicken wing
but I am bluer
than that cheese maim
"Have you tried a razor?"
to which I replied
" mine is electric"
& I couldn't pay my bill
so the power is out
.....we talked till my phone died.....

I just wanted to say that I used to work for an LGBTQ+ Charity Helpline that frequently received suicide calls and the range in their gambit is very, very wide. I once had a caller who interacts in the following way and that is why I have chosen to write like this. It's not because I wished to disobey the rules, as I said - this actually occurred to me as a helpline volunteer so:

VOLUNTEER:
"Hello London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, how can I help you?"

CALLER:
"Hello, I know this is supposed to be a conversation"

VOLUNTEER:
"Don't worry, this is your time. It doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be, we're here to listen - our lines are confidential"

CALLER:
"I just want to say something without interruptions or anything or even discuss it. I just want to hear it out loud and know that someone else heard it too. It's my suicide note, please don't say anything. Please I just need to vocalise this, please.

Maybe you're reading this and I was successful. If so, know that I really meant this - wasn't a tragic accident. It wasn't tragic. Now you can process and move on. It'll be no great loss. I think any "[NAME]" you'd miss died a long time ago. Or perhaps was only fake anyway.

Anyone who says I'm selfish: fuck you. You clearly have no empathy or compassion which probably makes you the selfish one. But even if it is selfish who fucking cares - I am so seldomly selfish isn't it my turn this once. You're selfish for making me stay and live through this torment.

The person I admire the most is my sister for being brave enough to choose the dreams that make her happy. I leave everything to you. The pension should be good anyway. I've had fun but I really want to get off this train."

*PHONE CLICKS, the caller hung up*

thank you for the trophy I think I will kill myself with it...lol :D