Poetry competition CLOSED 18th December 2016 00:47am
WINNER
tmoj
View Profile Poems by tmoj
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RUNNERS-UP: GothicQueen666 and Jade-Pandora

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romance

sirBoring
Thought Provoker
Joined 31st Oct 2016
Forum Posts: 143

Poetry Contest

Share only one romantic poem.
Romance: a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

Poems will get thorough reviews of multiple sentences that will explain good features as well as subjective areas of improvement.

IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR REVIEW, then put your poem's webpage url link at the bottom of your post. If you're unable to post url links, then just put the 6 digits (that are within your poem's webpage url) at the bottom of your post. if you don't place the url link or numbers at the bottom of your post, then YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE YOUR REVIEW!

You are allowed to submit a poem that you've written before; regardless of whether or not I've commented on it, or whether or not it's been in my previous romance contest.

Edit: In the next contest, I might allow contestants to submit a maximum of 3 poems. Also in the next contest, I might not allow contestants to edit their posts after the contest has closed.

If you have any questions or concerns, please send me a private message.

Here's some inspiration from the previous romance contest winners:

drone said:
would you

Would you let me climb
under your skin
to feel all the things
that you hold within
would you let me take root
in your garden
to lay in your heart
to be golden


GothicQueen666 said:Creatures of Fire
We swan-dive into the volcano, burning;
We’re creatures of the fire,
Mingled male and female, yearning
For the heat, the sweet explosion of desire.
I splash into the pleasure, all consuming;
I’m joyfully insane,
My passion for you deep, and fully blooming;
Long after, sweet warm flickers still remain.
You make my body sizzle with your kisses,
And yet there’s so much more;
My heart is kindled, too; It knows what bliss is,
This closeness that I’ve never felt before.
My body and my heart belong to you;
I’m peaceful and complete.
I see more adventures coming for we two,
We creatures of the tender fire and heat.



mikayla561 said:                    MISSING BEAT

     Help me stop the tears, before i sleep each night, my bed is always empty, i can't hold u tight. Another night alone, my hearts missing ur beat, i pray to you again, these same words i repeat. Dont leave me laying alone, dont leave me in this place, lay here beside me, let me touch ur face. Let me kiss ur lips, let me see that smile, let me hold u tight, make my life worthwhile, Raise me from the ground, raise me from the shame, listen to my heart, whispering ur name. Put back my missing beat, wipe away my tears, i only have a dream, but it always disappears. Let me be women i have nothing too hide , come here by my side, bring back my missing beat, fill me with pride, with you in my arms, my heart is full of love, lay here in my bed, send him from above. Embrace me with your warmth, lift my fallen head, dont let me close my eyes, in an empty bed, with this missing beat, i feel less of a wand oman , hurry back to me, as qauickly as u can. Let me hear ur answer, please send me a sign, while he lives and breathes, he shall and will always be mine, I sink further down, each day we are apart, come and put that missing beat, back into my heart...

poet Anonymous

Footnotes

He wakes to where the tea is cold  
earthed in water, but hopeful  
buried deep in the world's azure  
flooding in through windows  
to the barking of a dog  
that seems to have no other  
earthly place to go.  
   
Until my lungs breathe otherwise  
or our pills kill us both off  
or the strings of my guitar  
tangle in an unfathomable ball  
or I forget the beauty of waking  
on my side of our crumpled bed  
intertwined as sleeping footnotes  
   
until my future stops penning us  
in historical half-lights  
or my lips no longer sing  
those quiet lullabies I save  
for stolen moments such as these,  
until my knees no longer bend  
at the altar of his laughter  
and the salvation I embrace  
   
until then, I linger still  
watching his shirt hang loosely  
on a silent chair, believing    
in stone-cold morning raptures  
and the strength we simply find  
   
   
there.  

GothicQueen666
Viviaan
Thought Provoker
United States 1awards
Joined 5th Jan 2012
Forum Posts: 186

Tomorrow Comes, Tomorrow Goes
Tomorrow comes, tomorrow goes.
I'm still waiting
On my toes.
Holding every breath,
Not thinking twice.
Time goes so slow
It never flies.
I'm still waiting
To hold you again.
I pray it will happen
But I don't know when.
You're so far away from me.
I hear your voice
Inside my head
But your face
I cannot see.
I'm holding on
with all I've got.
My body' growing weak,
But my heart is not.
I cry myself to sleep
Wondering where you are.
I wonder if
you're wondering about me
Looking at the same bright star.
Heaven knows
We are meant to be.
No one else
Will ever complete me.
You are my heart
My soul
And everything in between.
I know I can't
See the future
But I wish
This could be seen.
I would look to see
How our children would grow
And how we look
When we're old
Moving so slow.
I would laugh
At how in love
We still are.
The boat you drive
Yet call a car.
But I can't
See the future.
Deep down I wonder
If you'll ever come back.
I hate myself
For thinking it
But sometimes,
My heart is black.
The only thing
I ever wanted
Is you.
Its funny that
You're the only thing
I can't hold onto.
I watch you slide
From outside my grip.
I cry inside,
My whole world
Starts to slip.
I know I'll make it
I'll be okay.
One more day
Without you
Whats another day?
I will still wait
I know you'll come back.
I won't let myself
Doubt it
I won't let myself
Crack.
Tomorrow comes, tomorrow goes.
I'm still waiting
Here on my toes.
Holding every breath,
Not thinking twice.
Time goes so slow,
It never flies.

Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States 154awards
Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5134

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f248/jadepandora/call%20of%20the%20wind%2000.png
Listen to the reading of this poem here:
http://thelastlightproductions.com/audio/feral_duet-final.mp3


Feral

He told of how he'd found her when
a comet streaked by overhead,
While later, people asked where she had gone.  

Listing distantly, replied
with heaven drifting from his eyes -

She's with me now, a patch of blue,
trusting where she takes me to
from a world not meant for us.

I'm by her side, and on the run.
We stop and rest when evening comes,

to love her 'neath the stars
when day is done, my feral one.

And when the comet comes,
she'll leave that day, and here I'll lay

where I'll love her 'neath the stars
when day is done, my feral one.



https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/221661-feral/

tmoj
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 2nd Nov 2016
Forum Posts: 57

The Mermaid

Across a sea of people
I get a view of a girl
Being caressed by the sun
The brightest sparkle in the sea
Dancing with the waves

Singing like birds in the morning
Next to a wind chime, on a porch
Like a calm voice after a storm
And a body like a river that quenches my thirst

She is very talented
Full of pulchritude and wisdom
Angels guard her heart
Her appearance is a gust of wind

The opening of her eyes are the break of dawn
From the time she wakes up 'til she goes to bed
She is endlessly beautiful
Like sunrise to sunset

OxyMoronicMe
G.L.
Dangerous Mind
Philippines 24awards
Joined 15th Feb 2016
Forum Posts: 1470

ECLIPSE UNDER CURRENT

Ebony petals against faded ivory 
Two fragrance in twin agony 
One as dark as one as bright 
Half exists in daylight the other at night. 
The moon and the sun will soon align 
And one would fade behind 
Solar nor Lunar, neither is desired 
For Harmony would be in dire 
Heart divided and held on either's hand 
Man's desire of two beauties, a pleasure weigh at hand 
Side by side no haze in between 
The waves of time in two currents as one 
When the siren and the nymph meets and collide 
Don't fall under two spells at once 
The dream and the fantasy is no hope you'll see 
But a drowning to the abyss of a never ending eclipse. 

https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/254521-eclipse-under-current/

sirBoring
Thought Provoker
Joined 31st Oct 2016
Forum Posts: 143

IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR REVIEW, then put your poem's webpage url link at the bottom of your post. If you're unable to post url links, then just put the 6 digits (that are within your poem's webpage url) at the bottom of your post. if you don't place the url link or numbers at the bottom of your post, then YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE YOUR REVIEW!

so far OxyMoronicMe seems like the only person interested in a review...

poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States 154awards
Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5134

sirBoring said:IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR REVIEW, then put your poem's webpage url link at the bottom of your post. If you're unable to post url links, then just put the 6 digits (that are within your poem's webpage url) at the bottom of your post. if you don't place the url link or numbers at the bottom of your post, then YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE YOUR REVIEW!

so far OxyMoronicMe seems like the only person interested in a review...

I beg to differ - I was engaged on a SKYPE conversation when you posted this, and I can't do links via my iPhone, I had to wait till I got on my computer which I'm now on and I've added the link at the bottom of my entry "Feral".  And by the way, at the top of the entry you'll see a link that will take you to an audio reading as well.

Thank you.

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