Blind Collabs

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if some else edited your poem, I know this might be poetic blasphemy but hey.

okay this is the concept, rewrite a poem by the poet above you the title must be the same(or add 2.0 after the title) some lines can be the same but it can't be the exact copy get the concept and rephrase it, lets do justic to each others work but also make it your own in a way.

It would be great help if add the link to the origin.

so the first person will take one of mine then the chain effect can go on.

Host Simon,
I've taken my original entry down since it was never followed-up.  I have posted a new entry, "Spring Mourning", for my response to a Lyricalli ink.

From
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/233675-to-live-a-day-from-to-live-a-day/

TO LIVE A DAY -  2.0
(a revisiting of russiamagda's poem as a sonnet)

To live a day as if the angels sing
To show my worth as if it’s made for me
As if just dropped to earth from angels' wing
So take my eye that both of us may see

We’re in a park on grass and black shoes too
The sun is bright in ultraviolet way
I’m in recline to feel each blade grow through
But then I’m up and running through my day

On busy sidewalks people mulling there
I run between and they don’t have a clue
I’m running through my day without a care
But slowly sun betrays it’s almost through

And so it ends as soon as it begins
I wear this one blessed day like heaven’s skin

The Day I Wake To Find You
By Hepcat

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/237191-the-day-i-wake-to-find-you/

(I hope I did not murder your beautiful poem, geoff)


The day I wake to find you beside my naked self
Your arm's warm embrace engulfing my spirit
Your hands dead on its weight enclosing my breast
Your morning breath, heavenly faning my face
And your eyes slowly opens to find me staring
Sweet smile slowly forms both our lips
Knowing we're each other's first sight of a beautiful morn

Memories filled my mind
With our night full of love
Remembering how beautiful it was
Skin to skin, joined together as one
Each sigh, each touch, each kiss...
Felt so good, so right, so at home.

For with you, at last I found
That pull, that magic that others had
Heart-melting lava of wet insides
Longing for a throb only from your burning rod
Just like a sonnet with syllables in count
We form a world rhyming the both of us
 
I welcome you with legs apart
Your member so rigid, so silky and wanting
Our pores open, slippery, burning
Each contact, electrifying, satisfying
Each taste, passionately sweet,  addicting
As we come to our peak, a new height starts to rise.

Starry night, cold, heat, spring rain
Everything happening all at once
Passion filled our heart with higher calling that is love
Exhausted, fullfilled, aware of what this was
As we close our eyes, our spirit soar
Knowing that tomorrow, each will still be there

Your heartbeat speaks to me as I drifted to sleep
Mine singing a sonata that only you could hear
As consciousness slowly shut down
A dim light remains at the corner
Keeping us together,  even in our dreams.
 
We float in darkness,  swimming in each other's warmth
Knowing that a new dawn would come and there would still be us 
The day I wake to find you beside  me, with me... Forever.

Good day

I apologise for being so quiet, all your poems are well written.

Kriticol did lose it and from that point the poets followed the idea.

Todski28 edited his/her entry and therefore Magda, got lost in it all but to rectify:

Magda may you please edit your entry and use one of Jades poems.

and Kriticool please use one of my poems but it can't be brown that way everybodies entries do not need to change.

and for any new person who is to enter - In this competition one must reinterpret a poem by the author before your entry, you can't choose anybody elses and it jas to be a poem which the poet has posted before in their poems list (poems which they have published/submitted before, so when you go to thats poets poetry list you will find the original there and I do not mean the poem which they just created for the competition)

Okay, we're back on track, even as magda & cool work on their revised rewrites (a Jade poem for russiamagda, and a Simon poem for kriticool).  So that all know, the next entrant will pick a published piece from OxyMoronicMe, and rewrite it in their voice & style, using the same title of the poem picked.

Enjoy!
Jade

With the sole aim of proceeding the comp and with apologies in advance to Oxy

Fear

Fear
  smells of rotten danger rapidly suffocating you...
  tastes, vile lurching from the deep, dark recesses of your being...
  sounds, a drum roll of thunder warning you of a heavy downpour
  feels, an invisible current sweeping goosebumps from your skin...
  looks, one of the Twin Towers above your head from September Eleventh
  Fear, an emotion so scary, it'd drive you off your guard!
 
Fear- give me your best shot!

People we do not need to take everything and turn it into a problem - the flow may be somewhere and everywhere but hey lets just leave things as they are, as per my last update.

Even if a new thread is made, there is no assurity that everyone will post at the same time/position as they did.

Jade thank you for doing so much crisis management, Oxy no need to stress. so from this point onwards just go with the current flow.

I am the most to blame here as I did not keep constant surveillance over the thread, so who ever wishes to enter please go to OxymoronicMe's gallery of poems and choose from there as I believe OxymoronicMe was the last to post an entry and so goes the flow.

we can't cry over spilt milk no longer, time to get the competition going again, it ends this week and I believe great art has been shared so far,

I look forward to the next entry

Kind Regards
Simon

Here we go:

Fear a poem by OxymoronicMe

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/235462-fear/Fear.

Fear
   
  The entity you are
   surely you do scare
   wage a sense engulfing war
   on every one who dares!
   
   You smell of rotten danger
   You taste vile from the deep
   Your sound's a rolling thunder
   Your touch an under-skin creep
   
   You look a crashing tower
   Humbling the symbol o power
   An emotion surely scary
   Surely it's wise to be wary!

Anonymous said:<< post removed >>


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Embrace 2.Oh [Embracing: All What’s Smart]


Animosity.. No, with me never holds clout
Perhaps pass it on to you; maybe you can tend the route
I’m tryin to chill with Wisdom, sipping that Sacred Stout
In my point of view one can leave the somber out

Wisdom’s set hardly crowded but it’s not about the Mass
Tremors hardly noticed cuz, what’s calm is holdin fast
Even Thor with his hammer isn’t tryin to be an ass
Check fawns on the lawn, handmaidens - wit and class

Here, drinks of the angry kind, they’re avoided at all cost
Humility is Authority and what’s cool is known as Boss
To learn is to discern. So one’s usually never lost
Yet lose your way any day. it’s-The Law-that rates-The False

So, have Good Times for The Mind, even better for The Heart
Then your endings won’t hurt you as we’ve said this from the start
See, that’s the Plan - Understand? [{Embracing all that’s smart]}
Been coupons since The Dawn, so go ahead and fill your cart

Thank you for your entry.

I shall reitorate again, who ever follows please use KDAmb's work for your entry

I'm trying to edit out those early posts that lead to some early confusion ...

todski made a comment about "clean up on aisle 7" and Russia ran with it as a poem ... Both are out.  Kriticool's Brown is out.

Also please refrain from copying and pasting the rewrites just to say "thank you" to someone who rewrote your poem ... It clutters the thread and makes it harder for the next poet to follow the flow, which is how this train ran off the tracks to begin with ...

If you must send a thank you - do it via PM.  

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/238377-i/

I by KDAmb -



I to YOU

My happiness starts from Y
and then goes through O
with joy it stops at U,
pen down a poem  
that includes a
passionate
love!
 
Yes!
I will write
the songs from,  
my heart to my love
rather towards my love
like an arrow just released
from the great Orion's bow
 
So let me go ahead and jot down or
at least attempt to pen down
a poem filled with love
then tie it onto a
white dove to
send it
you!

Absent Like My Heart

Will you take my words,
listen as they flow to flood
this silence
once filled with the rumble
of your laughter?

Allow me,
before this space is empty,
to give them up to you
the way I gave my heart:
recklessly, as though
consequence doesn't matter.

Carry it all away when you go;
there's no use for it here
in this lonely room, and I want
it gone. As absent as you,
and what had been my heart.



A Blind Collab using kriticool's Absent Like My Heart: http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/35606-taken/

As things roll along, here's how it goes next, now that dejure did a rewrite on one of KDAmB's poems:

The next new participant to enter will pick one of dejure's poems, do a rewrite in your voice and style, use the original title for your's, enter it along with the link to the original piece, and you're set.

Thank you, and good luck!