Poetry competition CLOSED 22nd May 2016 11:19pm
WINNER
Anonymous
sheild
RUNNERS-UP: Trixareforkids and LunaLove6963

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"suicide"

calamitygin
Jennifer Michael McCurry
Tyrant of Words
United States 28awards
Joined 22nd June 2015
Forum Posts: 2047

Ugh in tummy...oh hunny...Dove...damn

Still dazzling me with his dimpled smile
That meant nothing to him.

calamitygin
Jennifer Michael McCurry
Tyrant of Words
United States 28awards
Joined 22nd June 2015
Forum Posts: 2047



Honey...I adore you. But Suicidal Tendancies...these kinds of urges..they are no laughing matter...stem from an illness that can and does kill. In large percentages of the mentally ill..comperable to cancer... They are very real...and plaugue people ...though you fight like hell...the urges speak...

And talk and talk to you....speak in tongues...and promise ease from manic mind and breathtaking pain.

Until they find you weak.  It is a very real disease...

I would not wish it on my worst enemy....they have a mother...daughter....sister brother...lover....

No one should cover a loved ones face.

People have poored shame out here. I have tattooed my shreds...there are people here talking about their last grasp of cherrished ones....serious pain


calamitygin
Jennifer Michael McCurry
Tyrant of Words
United States 28awards
Joined 22nd June 2015
Forum Posts: 2047

prestonGibson said:❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for your courage doll.

bLoOdYmaRe
Strange Creature
Philippines
Joined 28th Oct 2015
Forum Posts: 5

"Your Suffering Shall Not Go To Waste"
(HuSkaR)

To sustain is to attain living harmoniously..
While to attain is to sustain all the hardships in life..

The path of Spiritual Evolution; we all had been experiencing..
We might not know it, but it is the naturality of every living thing..

To be enlightened is to learn everything from the start..
That only life can teach you; from school apart..

Let your fate flow as you submit to it's laws..
Cause time will come; you'll rise above all..

Let them shower you with affection..
Let them embrace you with their skin..
Let them enhance your durability to survive..
As the time will come; you'll be the one who'll look them down upon..
With your uttermost compelling desire..

chump
Thought Provoker
United States 6awards
Joined 30th Sep 2014
Forum Posts: 417

I'LL DO IT FOR YOU


"asYOUTHia"

OxyMoronicMe
G.L.
Dangerous Mind
Philippines 24awards
Joined 15th Feb 2016
Forum Posts: 1470

Lifeline

Madness in Silence
I don't know hell until I see
The horror that's been happening inside my family.
Secrets so horrible, I can't bear to speak.
Inside the walls of my so called home,
There I see it but blind eyes forbade.
My mind is screaming to shutted ears.
A burden so heavy, how much more can I carry?
Numb to the pain, Ignoring realities
My heart is burning, knowing is sinning
Shhhhhhhh. Don't tell.
My silence is golden.
Now I'm slowly chocking
Oh Death, I welcome you.
If only I could scape.
This...
Invicible Chain
In a cold dark place, endless space,
A  stale foul smell of decay hangs in the air.
A sweet taste tempting, disguising the poison within.
It's a murder but more like suicide disguising.
I know it's rotting but I go on consuming.
Letting my soul be taken until there is nothing.
Hope? He is there somewhere.
I will be waiting. Come break this invisible chain.
My lifeline slowly fading. Hurry....
My soul is screaming as despair eats me away.
I hope to...
Breakaway
A kiss of death aroused those living in the pit of hell,
Where fire burns the tortured souls
And wounded hearts seeks no reprieve.
Death comes knocking on our door.
I am calmly waiting, my heart is at ease.
Finally a reprieve from the meager life that is full of lies.
I closed my eyes and opened my arms.
My hand reached out to speed up the touch.
My arousal spiked for the kiss of death and darkness' embrace.
Instead a light beamed and with a swift slashed.
It brakes the invisible chain!
Then my choking stopped and my breathing comes back.
I found my voice hoarse and cracked
Like a melody worth a million bucks.
My eyes were blurred and veiled
By tears that flows, without grief nor sore.
He is gone, I am free.
I am sorry, but I am happy.
Hope comes glimmering and finally I can start dreaming...
my life begins again.
From now on...
Resurrection
YES, NOW EVERYTHING IS O'K
It's finally over,  HE IS DEAD,  I am free.
Free from the chains that bind me,
forcing my silence,  blindfolding me.
Yes, Now it's O'K.
My Lifeline...
Resurrection...
A new beginning...

HarleyQinn_2
DarkSnake1010
Thought Provoker
United States 2awards
Joined 26th Feb 2016
Forum Posts: 218

loving it poets! ;)

LunaLove6963
Dangerous Mind
United States 3awards
Joined 14th Jan 2016
Forum Posts: 1347

Everyday

Everyday is a fight
First thought of the end
When I was young and dear
Felt no love so gave some up so easy
Guess that wasn't the right way
Hand full of pills just some over the counter
Pussed out and flushed them
Teenage cutting and burning didn't seem to help
Let someone influence me
Change me
Now as an adult
Thoughts return
Feeling of not good enough
Being a failure
Not being able to stand up for myself
Closed/open book
If some would look close enough they would see
Sometimes seems easy to take my life
But would cause pain to others
Depression and anxiety
I fight with everyday
No one knows
And if they did I don't really think they would care
They would act and say you have to have mind over the matter
You make your own happiness
But most of it is my mind
And My mind kills me
How can I quite it?
It's always reeling
Even when I try to sleep
Haven't really slept in years
With meds?
Why do I want to depend on meds?
Doctors are a joke
And it's just a business
Anything for a buck
Counciling?
No one would understand all that goes on in my head
So why would I let someone in?
This is my everyday struggle

PleasuresOfPain
Thought Provoker
United States
Joined 7th Mar 2012
Forum Posts: 62

This is very difficult for me to explain,
For I never shared my story before.
This is for the ones who battle pain,
The kind of hurt that you can't ignore.

It all began when I was roughly fifteen,
My parents fought practically everyday,
Maybe that's why I had no self esteem,
I was belittled by what they used to say.

My step dad hated because I wasn't his,
My mom defended his insults towards me,
Honestly I knew that he didn't want kids,
He called me names and it hurt emotionally.

That asshole hit my mom one time in the face,
I tried to stop him and threw a knife at his head.
He went to my room and cruelly trashed the place,
That's when I first felt the desires to be dead.

I began cutting my arms and learned to like the pain,
I used a razor blade and sliced until I felt nearly numb
The hurt I inflicted was how I could function and maintain,
It was how I vented from the shit my step dad had done.

I hated life and a boy my age shouldn't feel at all like that,
I was using drugs and alcohol and breaking a lot of laws,
One night while high I hit the fucker with a baseball bat,
I hit him in the knee cap,stomach,and firmly in the balls.

I went to jail that night with a few charges under my belt,
In a six by nine cell I sat thinking about wanting to die,
I was emotionally unstable and I couldn't explain how I felt,
Confused mostly but right then and there I began to cry.

I carried a tiny razor in my mouth in case I was in trouble,
I took it out and without a second thought I cut both wrists,
My blood flowed out quickly,I was sleepy and seeing double,
I then closed my eyes and awaited upon deaths final kiss.
Note to readers:That was my first suicide attempt and although it was very serious I didn't die.I caused a lot of damage to the tendons in my hand and now have some nasty scars.I was fifteen then and now I'm in my thirty's and between then and now there'd be 7 more attempts on my life.The last attempt I made at my life was when I was 23 yrs old.I tried overdosing on heroin but the needle was dull and at the time my friend was having a seizure before my eyes.As he jerked and flopped I deserted my plans just to help my friend.To make a long story short I saved my friends life and had a life changing revelation.I went to school to be a paramedic and I'm also experienced in drug counseling.The important thing to remember is that we all are destined to be something great.The idea is to set apart your emotions and interests and open your heart and mind to your destiny.There's hope out there.

HarleyQinn_2
DarkSnake1010
Thought Provoker
United States 2awards
Joined 26th Feb 2016
Forum Posts: 218

;) keep up the wonderful work poets!

annieeverlong
Lost Thinker
United Kingdom
Joined 16th May 2016
Forum Posts: 21

Old poem with extended ending.

----------------------------------------------------------

OVERDOSED; OVERDONE


Maybe that night wouldn’t have come so suddenly if the vibrations of failure hadn’t come so soon;
And maybe what I only remember as a blur of colour and poor lighting was more meaningful than I thought;
Maybe I wouldn’t be looked at with such caution by the ones I used to call my loved;
And maybe I’d be trusted more
By everyone
Whether they know
Or think I’m fine

Maybe I'll live,
and find true love,

travel,
maybe not hide,
eat,
maybe not starve

I'll live through this,
even if it kills me.

poet Anonymous

Love the rawness of Pleasures of Pain's entry.  pr

poet Anonymous

The voice of reason

Post traumatic stress disorder
tendencies to be a hoarder
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
after putting the liquor bottles back up on the shelves

Loss of love triggers sadness
lack of control makes them regress
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
when every day compares to hell's

Emotions all felt in extremes
and night terrors replace your dreams
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
when every comment hurts and every feeling swells

When every disappointment leads to madness
and decisions are made from irrational thoughts and stress
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
when feeling like you don't fit in triggers warning bells

Self-hatred, guilt, and depression are the norm
as they try to forget the past, true to form
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
when their cuts are bloody and seeping; pain sells

"Get over it" is no kind of a healer
"I didn't want to get out of bed either"
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
amidst the shouts as a family members tells

"You think you are the only one who gets sad"
"You are in need of serious psychiatric help" how rad
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
Fuck it; go get a bottle of vodka, your inner voice yells

You can't enjoy the warm weather season
and you always hurt; never listening to the voice of reason
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
always stuck in their past, they delve

Why bother, you've got a stash of pills nearby
Maybe this time it will work; its worth a try
who wouldn't want to kill themselves
from the stigma, struggle, and turmoil that you constantly have

tumblrshewolf
misledteen
Strange Creature
Joined 19th May 2016
Forum Posts: 3

‘lost‘
-
i scampered up the dull stair
everything; all felt so damn unfair
tears, cascading down my wretched face
i turned the bath water on; my secret place
my shattered body was stripped down
and i was ready to drown
i soaked the warmth in; waited
everything; oh i desperately hated
yelling; crying, all year round
sadness and i; were bound
i lost my mind
cuts vertically lined; unparalleled
some old; some swelled

‘what are you doing?’
‘because of the pain your enduring?’
‘are you sure?’
‘who are you to be insecure?’
‘do it already’
‘are you even steady?’


thoughts rambled through my rambunctious mind
smiles are so hard to find
i ducked my face into the steaming water
my lids; shut securely
i was ready; clearly
what stopped me
who gave me the key?
to sanity
who saved me from insanity

‘what are you doing; stop it’
‘your such a hypocrite’
‘tell others to stop; what are you doing right now’
‘how could you leave them anyhow’


memories flooded over me
i pushed up a knee
then another
thinking of my mother
her precious voice
this was my choice

‘what will you choose?’
‘who will you choose?’
‘fight your inner demons darling'


it was startling
the supporting voices
i wasnt used to it
id usually just throw a fit
i picked myself up

‘another day’

id say
but the demons; they stay
i continue my hopeless attempts to pray
relive my life; on replay
they continue to betray
but i continue my way

annieeverlong
Lost Thinker
United Kingdom
Joined 16th May 2016
Forum Posts: 21

manic depressive fucked up lifestyle of someone much worse than the frogs that gaze into the doors of the nicest restaurants knowing their limbs will be savagely pulled off of them so people pretending to be fancy by ordering someone they don’t know anything about; kind of like my horrifying realisation I will die that I find out every day even though I’m sure it will be by my own hand I cannot imagine being in a place where I WAS DEPRIVED OF THE THINGS I SPENT MY DAY USING AND WANTING AND NEEDING I know I WOULDN’T SURVIVE IT as I am a weak creature by nature and am so MANICALLY FUCKED UP I won’t be able to do anything but be blinded by the things society condemns and yells at like how my parents scream at me for shopping in the wrong section to achieve an aesTHETIC I FELL IN LOVE WITH AS IT WAS MY ONLY WAY OUT because I couldn’t get my hands on any DRUGS except for ROBITUSSIN AND VICODIN AND even then a GOOD HIGH was impossible to achieve because of how weak the narcotics were like my BONES ACHING WITH FEAR AT AN ABNORMAL RATE and I look at my writing in criticism of the truth of my dark mind and I CONTINUE TO CRITICISE MYSELF EVEN WHEN I EXPRESS MYSELF to no one because the only people who care about me want to USE ME for their own horrid purposes and like the fateful frogs and deprived children I await my death in yearning for the pain I’ve endured is too much.

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