guilty pleasures

Descirbe in detail how drugs make you feel  , and why you decide to keep the addiction going . One week , have fun .
I will write mine . Old poems are welcomed . any format . only one entry per poet please.

I'm just a youngin' ,
But in my mind I'm growing so old .
Never had , no childhood ,
My hearts being growin' cold.
Just a youngin'  with no aspirations , no hopes or goals.
When I met you I was looking for something to take me in cause I was low , shit done stole my soul.
So you should spark up another bowl , let it melt   take it an and roll the bowl ,
Shit I've lost all hope.
" imma try it once & imma let it go " , said that shit four months ago .
Just waiting on a lethal dose , wishin death would just take me home.
I need to smoke some more ,
were is my self control?
So young , but my mentality is so grown. Raised by mama, but did it on my own.
Who the fuck have I Become , when I'm low were the fuck am I supposed to run ?
This was just supposed to be stupid fun .
Not sleepin till I see the sun .
" I swear I'm quitting soon"
The down just hit and its only noon.
I just smoke some more untill I feel alright .
I'm feeling dead , but this will bring me back to life.
" but , I swear I'll quit tonight "
Addiction isn't letting go
You fill the emptiness, when I'm alone. I keep on smokin till I'm sure your gone.
DamnI made so many promises , saying I'd never fuck with this.
I got some niggas trynna win my heart, I dont have have one , but I'll play the part.
Love my dad, but the devil done tought me more .
Stealin , and some shit i ain't done before .
All so I can smoke up with the homie more .
You'll pick m up untill,
I'm buried down .
You'll have my back , untill ,
I'm lifeless, six feet under ground.

. .

.  .

.  .

A "Fun" write

My abuse ripped apart mih body
Mih life
Led me to a blood let like a sharp knife
To a slow suicide
I literally died
On the floor
My son trying to break down the door
Woke up wanting more
Guilty pleasure?
Mmm..yeaaah What fun...

Fuck! Try chained forever
A slave to addiction
To the chase
A dick sucking Ho
If need be to get Mo
A thief
And liar
Any compromise of self
To get higher
That first thrilling high
A lie
A ghost
Illusive
And uses you as the host
Needle pill or bottle
A fools parasite
Feeding
On mind
Soul
Body
Warps your desires

Now i am clean
An addict always
But fucked up
Drugged up
Mind melt me
No Mo drug Ho
Back to jen

....happy and free!!!

Now...purrrfucked up
Jes lil ol real me!

RX

At first it all seems ok,
After surgery,to make your pain go away

Swallow one down and then maybe 2
Its ok, the RX said thats what you should do

Does it matter that my pain aint all that bad?
Seeing all those pills could never make me sad

Never explained that my pain comes from within
My last thought before popping 2 more was these things should be a sin

With eyes closed theres no reason to shout
Be loud and piss me off, I will yell get the fuck out!

Now Im angry and need it go away
Reach for that bottle baby, there aint shit left to say

Once they melt by all the acids inside
The amazing high you feel is hard to hide

The real pain isnt gone and behold more than one refill
Feeling like cloud 9 exists once you swallow just 1 more pill

The pharmacy calls, your smile is oh so grand
Feeling like a kid with candy once they are in my hand

No reason to grab water, juice or a Coke
Chew up three dry, my habit aint no joke

Looking in the mirror when this bottles gone
Wondering if your Dr will remember your famous song

Making up some shit so they will put you through
The Dr. OK'd your script, Im all aglow, its true

And if anyone ask, yes Im in pain
And then this hellish nightmare will begin all over again

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/208249-quintessence-of-misfortune/

Such a dreamer I became
Me on a couch and both in frame
This awfull parody makes me sad
but I won't cry no matter what

I am laughing
I am insane
I am drowning
I am in pain

"Live fast,die young", or don't
I don't care
The sky is black, the world is unfair
Want to rather burn than live?
So big misfortune my Gods give

The mirror speaks to me and lie
I need all comfort I can buy
on 8-hour basis and then tear apart
with an angel of death as bodyguard

I'm still waiting for my luck to turn
and as I wait my braincells burn
The thing that feeds me turns me weak
It liberates me but makes me sick
I'm bored waiting of me to come to my senses
I can't stand dealing with all these circumstances
I can't wait any longer for you to understand
I wish I'd done waiting but God says I can't
The lack of trust in myself should but can't make me cry
What if there's no tomorrow? Such a waste of try..

I don't want to face reality
reality is a bitch
It is a torture behind bars
with fate to be your snitch
I don't want to face reality
reality sucks
It's poor men kissing
on rich men's fucking cocks



Wait..
Wait for what??
Wait for a react
Wait for that defining fact..

Drunk Dream

I keep myself intoxicated
So I don't have to face reality
No I'm not hooked
But I definetly am an addict
Not to drugs, not to alcohol
Or any other subsance
That harms my body
Im drunk on dreams
Thats my natural high
Keeps me clouded
Shaded from my own life
When I dream it is my reality
Never during slumber
But in my daytime mentality
As I live the good life
And fight the good fight
Experiencing all the true joys of the world My innocence is back
That was stolen from my inner girl I relive bad moments
But with a better outcome
Strong to the core
Wanting it even more
To be my reality
Not my daydream mentality
Because when I awaken
My soul remains shaken
As everything that felt so real
Dissolves right before my eyes
Making my virtual reality
Three dimensional lies
Now Im left alone wishing
My visions were true
But the sad reality is
Im an insomniac by night
And a true dreamer by daylight

My drug is addiction
let me explain,I feel dead
inside so I crave feelings
just to feel something anything
to give me back what I have had
taken from me so long ago, I have
laughed to fit in. not knowing what I
was laughing at, I have cried to fit in
I am locked away inside, behind walls
that were ment to protect me at one time
have now become my prison. I feel nothing
on my own I just copy the feelings of the majority
around me at the time, it is a horrible thing to be
inside and looking outwards with no hope of ever
getting out. it is a death sentence without commiting a crime

Anxiety And Cocaine Medication ! extreme content !

     
a line for the spiders    
crawling along my spine    
two more up my nose    
     
for the feeling of euphoria      
that takes over when I'm high    
keeps the room from closing in on me    
     
feeling real good now    
pop a benzo to level out      
then back to the powder    
     
hit the slopes with a snort board    
feeling like a super hero in a movie    
love the fuck out of this feeling    
     
nothing quite like it    
except when your money is spent    
and the party is over for the night    
     
come morning light      
anxiety is back with cloying fingers    
causing you to climb the walls    
     
back at it again      
till the day comes      
when you crash into sobriety    
     
brain chemistry altered    
now fucker just try and live without it    
singing are we having fun yet?    

I’m not an addict
I know when to stop,
How to stop,
Why to stop.
No, I’m not an addict.
Not to the cigarette.
I’m addicted to the feeling
Of knowing that each inhale
Each lungful of black smoke
Kills me more
Each and everyday
Inhale the black
Exhale the white
Kill the pain

Sounds of Sex

The sound in my ear was beyond deafening
It was a mute button to everything else around me
I was probing my ear as if I could shake it out
Free myself of this teakettle's call punctuating my every thought

I was shaking and thrusting my finger violently
I had to get the shrieking out  
I was fingering my ear like it was a porn star  

A monkey's dick in my ear

The tormenting timber torrential in it's tone
The monkey's fucking my head harder
Grinding his hips and chattering teeth
Covering my eyes so I can't see

Make the noise stop
Who invited the monkey anyway  

I feel a pop
He's stopped, yet I shudder
The monkey came in my ear
I can feel his warm flow leaking from my canal
Down my lobe
Dripping from my hoop
Liquified relief traces my finger tips making it's way to my life line
Funny, monkey cum taste like blood  

I go to sleep
Because that's what you do after you get fucked  

And I love you for it Jen!

Now i am clean
An addict always
But fucked up
Drugged up
Mind melt me
No Mo drug Ho
Back to jen

....happy and free!!!

Now...purrrfucked up
Jes lil ol real me![/quote]