he said ... she said ... (During the morning rush)
he said ... They didn't have any blueberry scones.
she said ... Sooooo ...
he said ... Soooo, what? You said you wanted blueberry, they didn't have any, so that's it.
she said ... I'm supposing they didn't have any cranberry or raisin, or maybe even the chocolate chip they make? Muffins, there's a thought! Maybe a blueberry muffin?
he said ... (under his breath, gritting teeth) Look at this idiot driving like it's a Sunday. (yelling) C'mon, some of us have to get to work!
she said ... I guess I should be grateful I got the coffee.
he said ... Yeah, right. You're welcome.
she said ... You sure you don't want me to drive.
he said ... Oh my God! What because I messed up your scone order you don't want me driving either Miss Daisy?
she said ... See, this is why we shoulda fucked this morning. You've been pissy all weekend; and this is how you want to start the week?
he said ... I suppose you wanted to be on top.
she said ... Oh bloody hell! Is that what this is about?
he said ... What this?
she said ... Look for the millionth time, I didn't go looking for that promotion. Rick approached me.
he said ... But you didn't hesitate taking it.
she said ... Yes! Yes! Yes I did! You know damn well I was happy running the team I had. Besides you're the one who kept harping about how the promotion came with a fat raise, and how that would help with daycare costs.
he said ... Yes but I was saying that for me. I bust my ass for four years turning that shit department into something real and now you're my boss, again. So now here I am having to get your scones and coffee, and chauffeur you to work every morning.
she said ... You're being such an ass. At least when you were my intern it was fun fucking you in the conference room, and on Rick's desk.
he said ... Screw you.
she said ... Yeah well, you blew that this morning big fella.
he said ... Tell me honestly, did you even really, I mean really push for me to get that spot.
she said ... Yes I did. I told you, they like your work, love it in fact.
he said ... So what the fuck?
she said ... No blueberries.
he said ... What?
she said ... If there weren't any blueberry scones, ask the store manager, 'Why not?' Walk into the goddamn kitchen if you have to and demand some fresh blueberry scones. Make them yourself if you have to, in their kitchen. That's what I'd have done for you. I always have, and I always will.
he said ... Sometimes I think they don't respect me because I was your intern. And now ...
she said ... You think it's easy on me babe? Look I'm up at 4 a.m. every morning, pumping my 40 something tits to have milk for our manchild of a baby boy. And lemme tell you, pumping these tits for milk, as gorgeous as they still may be, ain't as easy as squeezing milk out of your 20 something cock. Hell, ten years from now you'll be running the whole damn company, and people will look at our son and think I'm his grandmother; but the first bitch that calls me your mom - I'll break her jaw.
Anyway, why don't you take the short cut.
he said ... We've got time, let's just not talk about the promotion, your promotion anymore.
she said ... I know we've got time. That's why you're gonna pull over in that empty lot on Messing and fuck me in the back seat. You might as well sleep your way to the top you pretty young thing, and screw your boss at the same time.
he said ... Oh, is that how you got the promotion?
she said ... Please. You know Rick, if anything he wanted a piece of your nice tight ass, not mine. And don't take out the car seat this time. That thing's a bitch to get back in for an old lady like me.