For thirteen years
you held me in your bosom
me so drugged up
unaware I was in prison.
Everday I rose early
to drink your bitter juice
I was always in a crunch
to get my methadone and feel that rush.
I was kept isolated and alone
swimming in your pink loveliness
it was all I needed to feel right at home.
no feelings, no love
no one could get in
no emotions allowed
with methadone this being unforgivable sin.
Awake all night
asleep all day
methadone you ruled my life
a king you truly reigned.
less then one percent
have ever succeeded to shake this habit
Crimsin you're a lifer
freedom you can't have it.
A year later methadone free
in the one percentile
I can't belive this is me.
getting to know who I truly am
scary but exciting.
trapped in that pink bubble for so long
I had abandoned my loved ones for a drug.
So I tread slowly on my shakey feet
this world for the first time facing head on
without my methadone goggles on.
I won't say this trip has been easy
sleepless nights, anxiety filled days
I wonder if my stomach will ever be straight.
Most days now I feel sane and secure
still in my dreams
methadone you do enter
to see if i'm home and lonely
you missing being my one and only.
I will succeed down this road
one day at a time as i've been told.
Getting to know myself the first hurdle
a puppet for a drug so long
it wrote my words and I just sang along.
new emotions, feelings and creativity
feeling sexual, sexy
is this really me?
I'm learning to see a beautiful person
no longer under a metadone haze
less then one percent yep that's me hooray. http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/17983-methadone/