Poetry competition CLOSED 9th April 2015 4:25pm
WINNER
kriticool
kriticool
RUNNER-UP:
JohnnyBlaze
Page:
700 Word Disaster!
Poetry Contest Description
Write a poem that is 700 words about a disaster. It could be a natural disaster, a poem about a person making a horrible mistake that goes terribly wrong, etc... It could even be a disaster that was on TV! (Like a celebrity who gets arrested or etc)
700 words or more! May the best poem win!
The Greatest of All Disasters!
The Ten Plagues of Egypt!
(As the Bible would have you believe)
1. Water to Blood. Kind of gross when you think beyond
rich crimson waterways flowing merrily along
It was actually ALL the water in Egypt
Streams, pools and even in containers
Happy Nights for ancient Egyptian vampires
but thirsty days for the common working people
And when blood congeals it is lumpy stinky stuff
2. Frogs! What? How did that make the list?
Seems they were really reaching
when this abundance of amphibians
ran a muck in streets, churches, bakeries,
bathrooms, bedrooms, schools, and
sarcophagus manufacturing establishments.
Seemed like a no-brainer to gather those
little hoppers up for dinner even in light
of the hunger and thirst from all the
blood water of the previous malady.
3. Gnats and Lice. Yeah it just got worst.
We know how annoying a few gnats can be
and now they were thick and everywhere.
And lice infecting every dark follicle
in the land...the scratching of heads
and swatting of gnats
All dates were officially postponed if
not outright cancelled during this one
4. Flies! Buzzing bastards mingling freely
with gnats and competing for landing places
with lice in an all out insect orgy
Fly strip vendors couldn't keep up with
demands and humble family businesses ruined
Bats, spiders, and the remaining frogs
from plague two fed well but even they
were pushed to the limits of their appetites
5. Livestock Diseased! Now come on! Why blame them?
The wrath of God in those days extended to
the heartless infestation of innocents merely
to punish the few offenders...hardcore God!
Beasts of burden may have been willing to die
as even the most talented tail swingers
could never hope to keep up with endless
pestering gnats, flies, and overfed frogs
6. Boils! Painful puss filled eruptions
on the skins of all unfortunate Egyptians
Primitive dermatologists had fortunes to be made
if they hadn't reserved their stocks
for themselves and their families
And this nasty tribulation was not reserved
to man alone for beasts again shared the misery
Again all dates and face to face meetings
suspended for the duration of this affliction
7. Thunder and Hail. This intended misfortune
must have seemed like a blessing, literally,
from Heaven as thirsty, frog stomping,
bug infested, boil bursting man and beast alike
saw ice balls falling from the sky
waiting to be merely gathered up for sucking,
and throwing at their uglier infected
neighbors...a humorous respite in tragedy
8. Locusts! Great...more insects on the way
but they don't really bother the already
burdened citizens of Royal ancient Egypt
They merely devour all crops and plant life
making those diseased livestock look pretty
tasty about 4 days without rice.
And those insect stuffed predators cannot
be counted on for more help
No really, they are quite full, thank you
9. Darkness for Three whole days! Um, big deal
I think we've established that the less light
available for viewing the surroundings was
really for the best of all involved.
In the dark there were only the noises
to offend the ears of those not yet driven mad
Burping and croaking frogs, buzzing bugs,
suffering oxen and calves, weeping face holding
teenage girls, cloud roars, and munching grasshoppers
10.And the grand finale...Death of all First born
From the children of the pharaohs, the kids of
servants and slaves alike to the very multiple
accursed beasts in the barren, eaten fields.
When you offended Old Testament God Almighty
He blasted some deep suffering on everything
It must have been quite a mess to clean up
in the aftermath and many of the common folk
probably never knew that season of madness
was all a divine power demonstration
to persuade the stubborn Pharaoh that
it would be in his best interest
to let the Hebrews leave quietly or else...
So after meticulous and numerous recounts
the number of words is six hundred fifty eight up to HERE
Leaving me just enough words to thank you for this read
and consider our fortune for living in less biblicle times.
And don't attempt to hold God's Chosen People hostage
Apparently he takes massive offense and is not above
a little overkill to get his point across.
The Ten Plagues of Egypt!
(As the Bible would have you believe)
1. Water to Blood. Kind of gross when you think beyond
rich crimson waterways flowing merrily along
It was actually ALL the water in Egypt
Streams, pools and even in containers
Happy Nights for ancient Egyptian vampires
but thirsty days for the common working people
And when blood congeals it is lumpy stinky stuff
2. Frogs! What? How did that make the list?
Seems they were really reaching
when this abundance of amphibians
ran a muck in streets, churches, bakeries,
bathrooms, bedrooms, schools, and
sarcophagus manufacturing establishments.
Seemed like a no-brainer to gather those
little hoppers up for dinner even in light
of the hunger and thirst from all the
blood water of the previous malady.
3. Gnats and Lice. Yeah it just got worst.
We know how annoying a few gnats can be
and now they were thick and everywhere.
And lice infecting every dark follicle
in the land...the scratching of heads
and swatting of gnats
All dates were officially postponed if
not outright cancelled during this one
4. Flies! Buzzing bastards mingling freely
with gnats and competing for landing places
with lice in an all out insect orgy
Fly strip vendors couldn't keep up with
demands and humble family businesses ruined
Bats, spiders, and the remaining frogs
from plague two fed well but even they
were pushed to the limits of their appetites
5. Livestock Diseased! Now come on! Why blame them?
The wrath of God in those days extended to
the heartless infestation of innocents merely
to punish the few offenders...hardcore God!
Beasts of burden may have been willing to die
as even the most talented tail swingers
could never hope to keep up with endless
pestering gnats, flies, and overfed frogs
6. Boils! Painful puss filled eruptions
on the skins of all unfortunate Egyptians
Primitive dermatologists had fortunes to be made
if they hadn't reserved their stocks
for themselves and their families
And this nasty tribulation was not reserved
to man alone for beasts again shared the misery
Again all dates and face to face meetings
suspended for the duration of this affliction
7. Thunder and Hail. This intended misfortune
must have seemed like a blessing, literally,
from Heaven as thirsty, frog stomping,
bug infested, boil bursting man and beast alike
saw ice balls falling from the sky
waiting to be merely gathered up for sucking,
and throwing at their uglier infected
neighbors...a humorous respite in tragedy
8. Locusts! Great...more insects on the way
but they don't really bother the already
burdened citizens of Royal ancient Egypt
They merely devour all crops and plant life
making those diseased livestock look pretty
tasty about 4 days without rice.
And those insect stuffed predators cannot
be counted on for more help
No really, they are quite full, thank you
9. Darkness for Three whole days! Um, big deal
I think we've established that the less light
available for viewing the surroundings was
really for the best of all involved.
In the dark there were only the noises
to offend the ears of those not yet driven mad
Burping and croaking frogs, buzzing bugs,
suffering oxen and calves, weeping face holding
teenage girls, cloud roars, and munching grasshoppers
10.And the grand finale...Death of all First born
From the children of the pharaohs, the kids of
servants and slaves alike to the very multiple
accursed beasts in the barren, eaten fields.
When you offended Old Testament God Almighty
He blasted some deep suffering on everything
It must have been quite a mess to clean up
in the aftermath and many of the common folk
probably never knew that season of madness
was all a divine power demonstration
to persuade the stubborn Pharaoh that
it would be in his best interest
to let the Hebrews leave quietly or else...
So after meticulous and numerous recounts
the number of words is six hundred fifty eight up to HERE
Leaving me just enough words to thank you for this read
and consider our fortune for living in less biblicle times.
And don't attempt to hold God's Chosen People hostage
Apparently he takes massive offense and is not above
a little overkill to get his point across.
Bullshit... The win is BOGUS!!!
I had already withdrawn from this comp before being
selected as it's winner.
With all due respect to the other entrants, I view this
comp as a disaster and its host
as an interloper.
I have more respect for the writers and
the "serious efforts" on this
site than to accept
awards I don't feel
I deserve.
Request that an edit to my
profile reflect
this.
B-more serious
Anonymous
kriticool said:
Bullshit... The win is BOGUS!!!
I had already withdrawn from this comp before being
selected as it's winner.
With all due respect to the other entrants, I view this
comp as a disaster and its host
as an interloper.
I have more respect for the writers and
the "serious efforts" on this
site than to accept
awards I don't feel
I deserve.
Request that an edit to my
profile reflect
this.
B-more serious
Oh, Krit, Your trophy can't be taken back. Remember the comp where you simply posted a one liner comment to another entry, but you got picked as the winner?!
Why not just go comment something positive under Sandman's poem, if he enters it in his personal poetry pages. :)
Bullshit... The win is BOGUS!!!
I had already withdrawn from this comp before being
selected as it's winner.
With all due respect to the other entrants, I view this
comp as a disaster and its host
as an interloper.
I have more respect for the writers and
the "serious efforts" on this
site than to accept
awards I don't feel
I deserve.
Request that an edit to my
profile reflect
this.
B-more serious
Oh, Krit, Your trophy can't be taken back. Remember the comp where you simply posted a one liner comment to another entry, but you got picked as the winner?!
Why not just go comment something positive under Sandman's poem, if he enters it in his personal poetry pages. :)
HollyDove said:
Oh, Krit, Your trophy can't be taken back. Remember the comp where you simply posted a one liner comment to another entry, but you got picked as the winner?!
Why not just go comment something positive under Sandman's poem, if he enters it in his personal poetry pages. :)
Yeah, Holly...I kinda remember that comp. I'm thinking that's the one where I voiced concerns to MadameLavender. I'm a little B-wildered, so i need to check the bytes
If memory serves, she suggested I not concern myself and view my "win" as a type of recompense for an occasion wherein I had entered, remained entered and should've won... but didn't.
This instance to me is different. My view is I made a choice to no longer "compete" in Chemical Rose's disaster comp for the reasons stated.
So, technically speaking my poem which "won" didn't exist for that particular comp. I personally take the same view as Blaze that Sandman should've been the "official" entry.
As far as Sandman's poem... Something positive?? I'm curious. What would you have me say? Perhaps, B-more serious? Real talk, Holly, honestly I'd like to hear your suggestion as far as what I might say. It might provide some insight(s) to something I might've missed. Although, if you don't have a suggestion that would be cool as well. Lemme know
p.s. Trophies are bytes so they can be bitten
Oh, Krit, Your trophy can't be taken back. Remember the comp where you simply posted a one liner comment to another entry, but you got picked as the winner?!
Why not just go comment something positive under Sandman's poem, if he enters it in his personal poetry pages. :)
Yeah, Holly...I kinda remember that comp. I'm thinking that's the one where I voiced concerns to MadameLavender. I'm a little B-wildered, so i need to check the bytes
If memory serves, she suggested I not concern myself and view my "win" as a type of recompense for an occasion wherein I had entered, remained entered and should've won... but didn't.
This instance to me is different. My view is I made a choice to no longer "compete" in Chemical Rose's disaster comp for the reasons stated.
So, technically speaking my poem which "won" didn't exist for that particular comp. I personally take the same view as Blaze that Sandman should've been the "official" entry.
As far as Sandman's poem... Something positive?? I'm curious. What would you have me say? Perhaps, B-more serious? Real talk, Holly, honestly I'd like to hear your suggestion as far as what I might say. It might provide some insight(s) to something I might've missed. Although, if you don't have a suggestion that would be cool as well. Lemme know
p.s. Trophies are bytes so they can be bitten
Anonymous
kriticool said:[quote-300361-HollyDove]
Oh, Krit, Your trophy can't be taken back. Remember the comp where you simply posted a one liner comment to another entry, but you got picked as the winner?!
Why not just go comment something positive under Sandman's poem, if he enters it in his personal poetry pages. :)
Yeah, Holly...I kinda remember that comp. I'm thinking that's the one where I voiced concerns to MadameLavender. I'm a little B-wildered, so i need to check the bytes
If memory serves, she suggested I not concern myself and view my "win" as a type of recompense for an occasion wherein I had entered, remained entered and should've won... but didn't.
This instance to me is different. My view is I made a choice to no longer "compete" in Chemical Rose's disaster comp for the reasons stated.
So, technically speaking my poem which "won" didn't exist for that particular comp. I personally take the same view as Blaze that Sandman should've been the "official" entry.
As far as Sandman's poem... Something positive?? I'm curious. What would you have me say? Perhaps, B-more serious? Real talk, Holly, honestly I'd like to hear your suggestion as far as what I might say. It might provide some insight(s) to something I might've missed. Although, if you don't have a suggestion that would be cool as well. Lemme know
p.s. Trophies are bytes so they can be bitten[/quote]
Take up the matter of the unfair win with the mods if it bothers you that much.
Real talk? I was suggesting that you leave Sandman some good feedback under the poem in his collection. That shouldn't be so hard. He deserves it. Sheeeesh. Just say whether or not you enjoyed it. So damn simple. You been here long enough to know how to give feedback.
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/200751-the-ten-plagues-of-egypt-in-just-over/
*shrug* I don't care about the comps anymore myself. Too many are improperly run.
Oh, Krit, Your trophy can't be taken back. Remember the comp where you simply posted a one liner comment to another entry, but you got picked as the winner?!
Why not just go comment something positive under Sandman's poem, if he enters it in his personal poetry pages. :)
Yeah, Holly...I kinda remember that comp. I'm thinking that's the one where I voiced concerns to MadameLavender. I'm a little B-wildered, so i need to check the bytes
If memory serves, she suggested I not concern myself and view my "win" as a type of recompense for an occasion wherein I had entered, remained entered and should've won... but didn't.
This instance to me is different. My view is I made a choice to no longer "compete" in Chemical Rose's disaster comp for the reasons stated.
So, technically speaking my poem which "won" didn't exist for that particular comp. I personally take the same view as Blaze that Sandman should've been the "official" entry.
As far as Sandman's poem... Something positive?? I'm curious. What would you have me say? Perhaps, B-more serious? Real talk, Holly, honestly I'd like to hear your suggestion as far as what I might say. It might provide some insight(s) to something I might've missed. Although, if you don't have a suggestion that would be cool as well. Lemme know
p.s. Trophies are bytes so they can be bitten
[/quote] Take up the matter of the unfair win with the mods if it bothers you that much.
Real talk? I was suggesting that you leave Sandman some good feedback under the poem in his collection. That shouldn't be so hard. He deserves it. Sheeeesh. Just say whether or not you enjoyed it. So damn simple. You been here long enough to know how to give feedback.
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/200751-the-ten-plagues-of-egypt-in-just-over/
*shrug* I don't care about the comps anymore myself. Too many are improperly run.
HollyDove said:
Take up the matter of the unfair win with the mods if it bothers you that much.
Real talk? I was suggesting that you leave Sandman some good feedback under the poem in his collection. That shouldn't be so hard. He deserves it. Sheeeesh. Just say whether or not you enjoyed it. So damn simple. You been here long enough to know how to give feedback.
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/200751-the-ten-plagues-of-egypt-in-just-over/
*shrug* I don't care about the comps anymore myself. Too many are improperly run.
http://8020.photos.jpgmag.com/3714879_301950_2c8c7323b7_l.jpg
Holly you’re such a cutie. Tell me sweetie...how much is so much? And who gets to define what's properly run? Look, I never privately or publically stated Chemical Rose’s competition was unfair or that the results bothered me. If that’s what you thought I said, then you’re mistaken. To me that would be overstating what I feel about what occurred. What I did voice was my opinion in what I felt was an inaccurate assessment of the competition’s outcome. It was an opinion, nothing more, nothing less...just like yours. But unlike yours, mine speaks directly to the accuracy of “my” profile, not yours. I know, to some that may be a small matter but on any level; who-are-we-and-what-are-we without accuracy or at the very least...close to it. Again, how much is so much? No, Holly...a lot of stuff bothers me, this is true, but to be accurate I’d have to say the last time I checked this comp didn’t make that list.
Sandman’s poem? You like it, I like it... But, I don’t blow bubbles
in a bong and call it a balloon.. it is what it is and it
don’t need me
*shrug* fo'getta bout it
Take up the matter of the unfair win with the mods if it bothers you that much.
Real talk? I was suggesting that you leave Sandman some good feedback under the poem in his collection. That shouldn't be so hard. He deserves it. Sheeeesh. Just say whether or not you enjoyed it. So damn simple. You been here long enough to know how to give feedback.
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/200751-the-ten-plagues-of-egypt-in-just-over/
*shrug* I don't care about the comps anymore myself. Too many are improperly run.
http://8020.photos.jpgmag.com/3714879_301950_2c8c7323b7_l.jpg
Holly you’re such a cutie. Tell me sweetie...how much is so much? And who gets to define what's properly run? Look, I never privately or publically stated Chemical Rose’s competition was unfair or that the results bothered me. If that’s what you thought I said, then you’re mistaken. To me that would be overstating what I feel about what occurred. What I did voice was my opinion in what I felt was an inaccurate assessment of the competition’s outcome. It was an opinion, nothing more, nothing less...just like yours. But unlike yours, mine speaks directly to the accuracy of “my” profile, not yours. I know, to some that may be a small matter but on any level; who-are-we-and-what-are-we without accuracy or at the very least...close to it. Again, how much is so much? No, Holly...a lot of stuff bothers me, this is true, but to be accurate I’d have to say the last time I checked this comp didn’t make that list.
Sandman’s poem? You like it, I like it... But, I don’t blow bubbles
in a bong and call it a balloon.. it is what it is and it
don’t need me
*shrug* fo'getta bout it
