Poetic trilogy ... Connect three.

I recently read three poems by three different DUP writers that for me could have all been part of the same story.  It was as if the writers had collaborated without collaborating.

For this competition I'd like you to write a solid critique of three poems written by three poets explaining the subtle touches and deft strokes that link the poems in terms of theme, time, place and use of language.  

I'm not looking for a five page essay but do be thorough in your analysis.  

Post: 1. The links to all three poems 2. One of the poems in it's entirety 3. Your analysis.  

Here's an example of #1 and #2.  If you read the attached poems you'll get the gist of what I'm looking for, but I must add that the theme does NOT have to be erotica.  

1. Strong Coffee by CaityCat

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/190860-strong-coffee/

2. The Cowboy by Minerva

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/190998-the-cowboy/

3. Mrs. Jones by hawkdude

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/191043-mrs-jones/

Strong Coffee

I like strong coffee and I like strong men
I write strong words with a metal pen
I've got this way of thinking things wrong
makes life hard but it makes a good song.
I like weed that'll knock you off your feet
they say it's got the same effect as me
see I know they are just talking
and that boys do that real well
but I've only got money for one ticket
and honey I don't want to go to hell

So I'll just put on my coat
smoke this joint and hit the road
ain't nothing wrong with letting go
you were a wild ride
you made me feel alive
but aint nothing wrong with letting go

I like being dead last and I like dead ends
I like every single one of my shady friends
they know that the life I'm leading
is solitary but I need them
I like dogs but not the ones holding the leash
those are the ones I've found have the sharpest teeth

So I'll just put on my coat
smoke this joint and hit the road
ain't nothing wrong with letting go
you were a wild ride
you made me feel alive
but aint nothing wrong with letting go

What's that they say about finding out
you aren't the person that you thought
that's when you are left with who are
Do you feel good or do you just feel caught?
Because you don't want the things you got
Like me and the things that I want

So I'll just put on my coat
smoke this joint and hit the road
ain't nothing wrong with letting go
you were a wild ride
you made me feel alive
but aint nothing wrong with letting go

I like strong coffee and I like strong men
can't find that here so off I go then
ain't nothing wrong with letting go

Written by CaityCat    

YOUR ANALYSIS ...

The winner will be selected on the depth of the analysis.

Salud

oh this is quite interesting. i shall have to give it a go.

and to be lumped with those two poems makes me happy. they do kind of fit together is some weird, strange way.

let me get this straight:

-our first post contains the links to all three poems
-second post is only one of the poems in its entirety  
-third post is the analysis of all three poems

right? just want to make sure i am following the rules. (i like rules.)

TheGoddessMinerva said:let me get this straight:

-our first post contains the links to all three poems
-second post is only one of the poems in its entirety  
-third post is the analysis of all three poems

right? just want to make sure i am following the rules. (i like rules.)

You've got the rules down pat.  And yes, I thought the connection in those poems was cool ... I totally saw hawkdude's character as the cowboy in your poem - and the song CaityCat penned is something that played on the radio of the diner (hawkdude) and at the bar (your poem).

Looking forward to your entry.

i'm assuming there is no time frame? as in, if i find a poem written a year ago, i can use it with two others that were written recently? is that right?

(sorry! told you, i'm a stickler for the rules.)

TheGoddessMinerva said:i'm assuming there is no time frame? as in, if i find a poem written a year ago, i can use it with two others that were written recently? is that right?

(sorry! told you, i'm a stickler for the rules.)

No time frame on the poems ... I'm looking for a continuity in your critique of the pieces.

Hope that helps.

sorta preface: entering such analyses first time, i do feel stomach butterflies posting my dissection or better to say the linkage among the three poems by three different poets, who are followed by me for their adorable poetry.
My analyses arise out of a felt common emotion running in all three writes fitting to be a trilogy,  hopefully i wont misinterpret n earn their wrath:) more than a comp. entry,  i see this as my tribute to all three poets.

Link to the poems

Poem 1:  Love [me] Black
                by Alexander Case
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/185725-love-me-black/

Poem 2:  Love Apathy
                by matthew bass
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/190653-love-apathy/

Poem 3: last layer leaving
               by hemihead
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/190347-good-wood/

Poem 1 posted:

Love [me] Black
             
             
she showed me a picture
a new dawn        
broken
and I saw black
I felt her warmth              
so I bowed to four horizons  
and let her [in]              
             
             
she held a stem with thorns of glass
and I offered her my wrists          
she revealed her heart    
bound me with love        
then hung me from a tree              
with a tether              
of trust              
             
             
she said I was a mystery              
that I built these [walls]              
I called home          
and I gave her poetry              
the place              
I hide              
             
             
I gave her everything              
and she took it all              
then gave it away              
             
             
she bled me alive and painted a man on the [walls] I built              
and I saw a crude monster              
dripping black              
drifting in space              
             
             
I saw her in a mirror              
and now I see        
       
       
I am not the person she thought I was              
we were not one in reflection              
             
             
I am alone              
protected by these [words]              
I built for love              
something I can not find here              
         

My Critique :

Common theme: all the poems in the series are thematic of loneliness, emptiness out of  conditions in love that makes it easier to see the linkage among them

Poem 1

Theme n plot: simmers emotive about the eventual loneliness spelt  what seems a diehard love sacrificing beyond his limits for his love, only to see the unreciprocated or unexpected reflections much dark n unbearable to his heart. Still, in all the loneliness and the resort of words he takes, there is this echoing roars of yearning felt for love.

Language n style: simple n sequentially flowing structure.(not usual to the poet's gradeur poetic style, but becoming his trend i believe). Just a talking hearty peace, adding heaviness n a drop or two of tears if not downfalling seas.

Time n place: the abode of words n loneliness space. This presentness feels like an eternal dimension as he ends his composition


Poem 2:

theme n plot: strikingly starts with the emptiness n loneliness,  that seems as catching up like a relay link from poem 1's ended solace.
 It proceeds to tell about love's indifference,  that is also felt as underlying in poem 1. I felt convinced n prompted to equate this indifference stressed as a continuum n reasoning for poem 1's unreciprocations.
again i see here, narrator resorting to words n abstractions, though  not as a desperate abode of words taken as in poem 1, but only to feel more hurt by the prevailing indifference n those memories. Still this piece echoes that lifeline diehard love beating on inspite of deathful apathy. Short yet sharp n moving piece.

Language n style : simple n straight forward talking piece like poem 1 (without any metaphors that are usual to his style, i would refer him master of abstractions)

Time n place: its in the mental realm of emptiness,  in the passing times of a hurt diehard lover still holding on the abandoned love

Poem 3:

theme n plot: this is what seems to be a perfect foil n poetic philosophical solution that any emptiness or loneliness from love should take. The very courageous masculine climax it seems to me to both poem 1 n 2 n for poem 3's rewind part of sunshine love flashed. For me, this completes the trilogy in a very optimistic note.
a passionate diehard love's separation n philosophy out of it,  in the shade of writing.....surprise pack in this write would say- the sunny times of love n play n adventure,  alongside detailing the alchemy of love. The diehard lover  holding her whatever looming distances between them, only to see her go.
The loneliness is all now faced pretty  by the tempered heart that is ready to revive again. Optimism,  inspite of all

Language n style: simple yet eloquent (as always to his style) matching poem 1&2 , brimming in his usual prosaic poetry form with clearcut geometrical words n emotions.

time n place: its the mental space n shade of composure n wisdom in the loneliness, better to say,  solitude after the separation n bygone sunny season of love



P.s: interesting comp LSP! i am sure to come back lotta tymes for modifications if not deletion b4 de deadline:)

the link is seeking luck in all the wrong places

End

I finally got to the end of my rainbow
The colours were fading, it was losing its glow
The gold I was promised seemed to be missing
I found absolutely nothing, not even a pot to piss in

Star

Once I wished upon a star
For money, sex, a fancy car
I wished and wished with all my might
This shooting star, it’s gleaming light
It fizzled, flashed, the light went out
Despite my wish, despite my pout
The power of the star I was negating
I just got tired of fuckin waiting
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Wish for big, wish for small
The star will grant you bugger all

Genie

I touched the lamp
I rubbed the lamp
Filled with anticipation
I rubbed it soft
I rubbed it hard
Like metal masturbation
I jerked it slow
I jerked it fast
I jerked till I felt lame
My arm got sore
My wrist went numb
But nothing ever came

Thank you for accepting the challenge and doing such a thorough job uma!

i am so sad that i didn't get to do this! i had great plans....but then life happened. ah well!

good job Uma!

Tq fr the comp n trophy LSP..such a novel idea for a comp but sadly not responded by poets.
N tq Minerva, was expecting ur entry though:)

Hope such comps are run often to encourage critique-ing.

Without the three poems from the three grt poets, this entry was not thought of. This win is theirs, a tribute to my adored poets Case, Matt n Hemi. Tq all here:)

i suggest another one of these is set up! i REALLY wanted to do this and had part of it done. life just happens.

so hint, hint LSP. i want another one of these!