Butt Dial

Butt Dial:

When a person sits on his cell phone and it accidentally dials a random person from the movement.

Have you ever had your cell ring and, when you answer, an unexpected background conversation or series of sounds plays? The person/thing who dialed is unaware the phone is on and you are listening. (Sometimes the voices/ noises are left on your answering machine, and you play it over and over trying to figure out what it is.)

If you've ever received a buttdialed message, describe what you heard and how it made you feel. If you've never had such a call, make up a story about receiving one.

New poems/prose.
One entry per person
500 word limit. (I'm flexible on this rule, but let me know your exact word count if it exceeds.)
No collabs.

Such A Naughty Night...

Tones of sweet Barry White, begin to play...
Hello Sexy, my words only to fall to my dismay...
An unintentional dial I see, your talking all about me...
Listen close, to pick up clues...
Oh but your butt dial told on you!
Sharing secrets of your hidden side...
With your bestie, oh how my thoughts ran wild...
You had no clue, I'd be taking notes...
Finding your weakness and those magic spots...
A sexy giggle, I imagine your smile...
Oh my, baby it's arousing how you've trapped my mind...
The call is dropped, but I must say...
I'd take a butt dial from you any day!

Thanks for opening with a smile for us, BlueEyes. :)

My pleasure :)

I Didn't Want To Hear This...

God, it's been one of those days.  Not knowing whether I'm Arthur or Martha (as my Mum says), I decide to spend the day in bed reading, sleeping, contemplating what the hell is going on in my life.  

After having the usual tug of war with the 'you need to be doing something constructive' side of myself; then it being clearly put to bed by the 'fuck off, I'll do what ever I want' part of me, I relax into my pillows, open my book and start reading The Story Of O.

My cellphone rings.  Just as I reach a really erotic part. Damn. I'm feeling my juices flowing too. I absentmindedly pick up the phone, hit the button and go 'hi', not taking my eyes from the page.  Nothing, no sound at all.  

'Hello?'    
No reply.
'H..e...l...l...o..???'
Nothing.

I'm about to say 'fuck off then' when I hear the faintest of noises.  I can't make out what it is but I begin to feel concerned; that I shouldn't hang up.  My attention is totally on my phone, on this call.  I check the screen, the caller ID is blocked.  I put the loudspeaker on and hold it to my ear thinking, 'god, I'm going deaf'.

That sound comes again.  It's faint, it's a woman's voice.  I'm really getting concerned now. Thoughts of some poor woman hurt, stranded, lost, injured, whatever; all these scenarios on what's happening and how I can help her are going through my mind as I press the phone closer to my ear willing her to speak again.  Nothing.  No wait, I can hear....rustling? Something's being rustled. Is it leaves, grass, clothing, what the hell is it?  My mind's in a panic.  

Wait, the noise is becoming louder, sounds like something's been dropped.  Suddenly, the sound is crystal clear. Now I hear a slurping noise, groaning.  Oh fuck, this isn't what I think it is, surely not? I yank the phone away from my ear.  I can feel the horrified look on my face as my brain puts together the sounds with possible visuals.   This woman's having sex; someone is eating her.   I try not to laugh.  It's like seeing a train wreck, you know you shouldn't look but you can't help yourself.  

Then her voice comes over loud and clear.  Fuck.....it's my mother.....my mother is having sex with god knows who....fuck....  
I tried to hang up but my finger keeps missing the button so I throw the phone out the open window.  I feel sick.

Thanks for the entry, Kate. I've had at least three buttdials that will remain in my mind a long time, because they caused me all kinds of emotions like what you described so well.

Got a call from my friend, Jack
I said, "Hello! How are ya'?"
No reply
Wondered why
Asked him how he's been
Silence lingered like a plume
Gassy
Tootie fruity
Then grumbling low to louder still
His message was quite clear
Phhhrrttt, fraap...FART!
Tuba's in ma' ear!
Hanging up, I call him back
Ask him, what the 'ell?
"Sorry, Raf. Twas my bad...just talk'n out my ass"

I have never received any strange butt dial calls
But a few years ago i i had a job and the shop
Forman /owners phone number was on digit
Off of my drug dealers number and i accidentally
Called him at 2 am looking for a 1/4oz of blow
I was pritty wasted but he groggily answered the phone
And was like wtf no is that u........you u better be at work tomorrow
Needless to say i got haled into the office the next day
And they sent me home for stinking of booze and tried to
Make me go to rehab
He was head of the Mormon church as well he dident seem
To like me mutch after that one lol
Oops

How My Karear Got Started By Sitting On My Arse

I satt on my arse.  Butt aktually it wuz my sell phone.  It dyaled da fbi. Dat's how it started. Da next thing I knew I wuz enrolled at da akademy.  I should have never cawed the fbi in da phyrst place.  It started a career in law enforcement. Dat kan be pretty embarrassing these days. In these days of kriminal konfusion. Handz upp against da wall.  Lol.

I beat up a cop when i was 17 they havent liked me mutch since then
That whole thing where they whipe your record clean at a18 is
A load of bulshit

I have had several LEO friends in my life
but I won't deny there are a few who don't belong in the field because of some bad moves.
Generally I am fond of them and try to look out for them if they're looking out for me.

Why does that sound bad?...lol... Look out for meeeee....lol.

Thanks for the smiles and laughs so far, poets. :D

.: Don't Hag'Ghoul :.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.switched.com/media/2009/02/2009.02.18phonetxt.jpg


she knew
given the chance
all what her butt could do
could make calls on its own
even gather a crew  

though
once connected
might pass “dead air”
but more than likely
she’d start an affair

receivers
bewildered
puts smiles on their face
tech-savvy at hand
would enable a trace

look,
this is the thing
with this
modern day “tag”

butta butt,,,
to
the gut
when the connect is
a hag



...

:D  Thanks Kriticool. Butt how can you be sure it's an old hag on that call?

Imagine getting this sASSaphone butt dial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUXgA7J0SMA

A couple of funny times happened years ago, due to phone numbers being one digit off from other phone numbers and of course getting a wrong-number dial from someone.  When my great-grandmother was still alive, back in the 1970's-early 1980's, her phone number used to be one digit different from a popular local pizza joint.  She got so many misdialed calls, that she started taking pizza orders and saying "See you in 15 minutes!"  We of course, helped her with the "orders" if visiting and the phone rang.

The other time, was when I got my own phone line back in college, and I would get calls from people looking for "Lisa" then proceeding to talk in Spanish.  It was eventually figured out that they were indeed trying to reach Lisa, which is also my name, but her number was one digit different than mine, so whenever the Latino people would call, they started asking first "Is this the Spanish Lisa or the American Lisa?"  Pretty funny!

:D I would have answered "It's Mona Lisa." Then given them a big moan and hung up.

Oddly now I recall getting another wrong call, which some would classify as a butt dial. Right in the middle of some honeymoon action with hubby, someone dialed my hotel room, asking for pizza.