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Jokes and Riddles repository

poet Anonymous

Today I saw a concerned American citizen state on their Twitter page that all Americans should vote for politeness being the currency

No one replied
He knew he was crazy
and crazy people don't know their crazy

poet
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
104awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 13011

At a pet shop.

A. I want to buy a goldfish.
B. Do you want an aquarium?
A. I dont care what star sign its born under.

poet Anonymous

The man lyrically on top here.

I see it.
He wants my craft to steal for his own. So when I delete it, he can upload it on the other forum to say he put it there first.
I insulted his girlfriend. Now she has his tongue in his ass also begging for a little attention.

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

The duck feed was reduced for quack sale

poet
Tink_Romero
Lost Thinker
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Joined 1st Apr 2017
Forum Posts: 15

This is an online chat between a kid and a bully.
*Yappers joined chat*
*Kid joined chat*
*Bully joined chat*
Bully: Hey kid whatchu doing?
Kid: Nothing.
Bully: so that means you shoold be doing my homework
Kid: actually it's you should
Bully: are you telling me to do my own homework
Kid: why not, you don't have a limited head do you?
Bully: Hey stoopid head, don't try to go all fancy on me
Kid: well if I can't then why shoold you?
Bully: hey it is spelled should not shoold, if you can't get that right then you shouldn't do my homework
*Bully left*l cat*
Kid: Ha sucka, getting out of his mess was easy!
Yappers: HEY KID IT IS STILL ME BULLY!!!
Kid: why is your name Yappers?
Yappers: it is the name of my dog, I didn't mean to sign in, don't you do anything to outsmart me again! Last warning
*Yappers left chat*
Kid: I didn't know he had a dog, I bet it is a bulldog or pug
*Yappers Joined chat*
Yappers: yes I have a dog, and it is a chihuahua
Kid: how did you know I asked that question?
Yappers: because I am sitting right behind you in class, who is smart now?
Kid: hopefully smart enough to do your homework because if you hurt me I won't b able to do it
Yappers: Homework? Oh yeah, I finished that, now I am going to finish you!
Kid: oh hey the bell rang I am gonna be going now!
Yappers: No you do--
*Kid left chat*
Yappers: ugh darn annoying brother of mine!
*Yappers left chat*

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

At the soup kitchen
They were serving pork
to the hamless

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

Judge:
Due to the severity of your crimes,
I am giving you the deaf penalty

Convict:  
WHAT?????

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

He's a smart fart. An astute asstoot



poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

There lies sleeping
A bowl of
Vietnamese soup
Deep in
The pho rest

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

i met a barista.
six  weeks later
her period was latte.

poet
Fizzle
Ammiture
Twisted Dreamer
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 5th Sep 2016
Forum Posts: 89

Grace said:At a pet shop.

A. I want to buy a goldfish.
B. Do you want an aquarium?
A. I dont care what star sign its born under.


I see what you did there

poet
Fizzle
Ammiture
Twisted Dreamer
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 5th Sep 2016
Forum Posts: 89

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

somebody  started rumors
about my girl
saying she likes anal

i'm getting to the bottom of this

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

i worked for a ghost

scream printing t shirts

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

i can pass a drug test
if i study

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