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Jokes and Riddles repository

poet Anonymous

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poet
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
105awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 13263

At a pet shop.

A. I want to buy a goldfish.
B. Do you want an aquarium?
A. I dont care what star sign its born under.

poet Anonymous

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poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

The duck feed was reduced for quack sale

poet
Tink_Romero
Lost Thinker
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Joined 1st Apr 2017
Forum Posts: 16

This is an online chat between a kid and a bully.
*Yappers joined chat*
*Kid joined chat*
*Bully joined chat*
Bully: Hey kid whatchu doing?
Kid: Nothing.
Bully: so that means you shoold be doing my homework
Kid: actually it's you should
Bully: are you telling me to do my own homework
Kid: why not, you don't have a limited head do you?
Bully: Hey stoopid head, don't try to go all fancy on me
Kid: well if I can't then why shoold you?
Bully: hey it is spelled should not shoold, if you can't get that right then you shouldn't do my homework
*Bully left*l cat*
Kid: Ha sucka, getting out of his mess was easy!
Yappers: HEY KID IT IS STILL ME BULLY!!!
Kid: why is your name Yappers?
Yappers: it is the name of my dog, I didn't mean to sign in, don't you do anything to outsmart me again! Last warning
*Yappers left chat*
Kid: I didn't know he had a dog, I bet it is a bulldog or pug
*Yappers Joined chat*
Yappers: yes I have a dog, and it is a chihuahua
Kid: how did you know I asked that question?
Yappers: because I am sitting right behind you in class, who is smart now?
Kid: hopefully smart enough to do your homework because if you hurt me I won't b able to do it
Yappers: Homework? Oh yeah, I finished that, now I am going to finish you!
Kid: oh hey the bell rang I am gonna be going now!
Yappers: No you do--
*Kid left chat*
Yappers: ugh darn annoying brother of mine!
*Yappers left chat*

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

At the soup kitchen
They were serving pork
to the hamless

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

Judge:
Due to the severity of your crimes,
I am giving you the deaf penalty

Convict:  
WHAT?????

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

He's a smart fart. An astute asstoot



poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

There lies sleeping
A bowl of
Vietnamese soup
Deep in
The pho rest

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

i met a barista.
six  weeks later
her period was latte.

poet
Fizzle
Ammiture
Twisted Dreamer
United States
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Joined 5th Sep 2016
Forum Posts: 92

Grace said:At a pet shop.

A. I want to buy a goldfish.
B. Do you want an aquarium?
A. I dont care what star sign its born under.


I see what you did there

poet
Fizzle
Ammiture
Twisted Dreamer
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 5th Sep 2016
Forum Posts: 92

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

somebody  started rumors
about my girl
saying she likes anal

i'm getting to the bottom of this

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

i worked for a ghost

scream printing t shirts

poet
rabbitquest
Sit-Eat-ur-BBQ
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1333

i can pass a drug test
if i study

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