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Jokes and Riddles repository

poet
Chickenfetus
Twisted Dreamer
Canada
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Joined 15th Nov 2016
Forum Posts: 128

Where do u hide an Indians paycheck

Answer: in his work boots

poet
Chickenfetus
Twisted Dreamer
Canada
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Joined 15th Nov 2016
Forum Posts: 128

What's the best thing about emo grass

Answer: it cuts it self

poet
Chickenfetus
Twisted Dreamer
Canada
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Joined 15th Nov 2016
Forum Posts: 128

How do u make a 10 year old girl cry twice?

Answer: Whipe  your blody dick on her teddy bear

poet
Chickenfetus
Twisted Dreamer
Canada
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Joined 15th Nov 2016
Forum Posts: 128

What is the difrence between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

Answer: u are never using the toilet at my house

poet
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
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Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 13011

So why did the chicken cross the road?  

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

the new artist at the museum continues to draw visitors

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

on my flight to denver,
i had some plane yogurt.

poet
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
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Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 13011

Diner:  Excuse me…there is a button in my salad.
Waiter: That's all right, sir, it's part of the dressing.

poet Anonymous

What are the two things that they want painted all over the world?

Stars and Stripes

poet
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
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Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 13011

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”
“98,” she replied.
“Two years older than me.”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, isn' it?"

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

I always fact check any new date

poet
David_Macleod
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 653

Did you hear about the depressed and sad fly who was sitting on the toilet seat?

He was pissed off

poet
rabbitquest
Bunn
Dangerous Mind
Israel
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1216

I got flowers and diamonds for
My girlfriends,
Sythia and Eva

Diamonds are for Eva.
and the flowers?
The flowers are for Sythia.

poet
chump
Thought Provoker
United States
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Joined 30th Sep 2014
Forum Posts: 384

Did you hear the one about the unarmed man that got shot because he didnt put his hands up...

poet Anonymous

To create a drama free zone
is to not hate Jesus and Mohammed for causing so much shit in this world

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