Bad Poem

You have two weeks to write a bad poem. It has to be at least 12 lines. Here are some things you can put in your poem. You MUST have at least one of them in your poem

Use clichés
Employ vauge language
Add large complicated words where you don't need them
Use lots of adjectives
Use lots of adverbs
Mix metaphors
Choose boring words
Don't show tell
Excessive...


...Spacing

Good luck and I wish you all the best  

Most will find this competition too easy

It's ok its not meant to be super hard.

I'm Sorry, My Bad

Haloes of angels
on morning sunrays
shining off long hair
golden on her shoulder

She turns to see
and stares at me
seeing the envy
written on my face

How can a lady boy
be prettier than me
a natural born woman
and she just a fake

she walks past me
smirking into my face
as her penis tent
Her mini dress

My girl is overwhelmingly Voluptuous
but missing the “meat” on the bones
she’s Quite but I can’t get her to shut her mouth
not being gasconading, But
I keep telling her to put Some clothes on
can’t sit naked by the window during the day
sun has a Way of ruining things over time
colostomy bag placed in atmospheric temperatures
want last long and gives a funny taste
I have paraskavedekatriaphobia
thank god it’s Only Thursday the 12th
daily showers only washes off yesterday’s lube
regardless if she’s magnanimous with the affection
her unencumbered life Style dampers the relationship
I don’t find the patch on your ass sexy
when you Can’t sit up straight in the truck
maybe it would be best if i put you back in the box
before you get a Plastic yeast infection  

My Girl

She was the apple of my eye
But she was not pomiferous
Her body was fit and spry
Her looks made her famous

Her sylph like body was slim
Very very sexy and attractive
She could run and she could swim
But preferred to be inactive

A feminine girl she was mine
Out of this world our loving
I'd tie her wrists with baler twine
The rest involved much shoving  

******

Here is my submission, and this poem really is bad...

Poetry Sucks

U knw it
I knw it
It just plain sucks
Slowly,
But surely
I will make good
On my promise
Of the tmrw
And burn poetry
To the ground
With a passion
Of a thousand suns!!!!!!!!!!
I ought to knw
Wht thou know
Which is wht thy
Knws to be tru
Poetry………….root of all evil
I shall spend money…haha!
I shall get men and women and children and babies and pets and tress and men and women
To stomp on poetry, because it sucks
Did you hear mwah?????
I can really hear real dogs really barking real annoying sounds
Into the streets paved with gold, gold, ugly gold, inexpensive gold:
Yellow paint!!!!! I might stop writing
This stanza of words against my number one enemy: poetry
Because I have to pee,
I shall pee on poetry
With alcohol and weed
And not make sense with my words
And rhyme insensibly with birds
And say cat and rat and crap and
Oh look, my cookies are ready in the oven
Want to the truth…huh…okay:
I didn’t bake the cookies from scratch
I used store brought
From Walmart!!!!!
Communists…
Anyway
I shall win my battle with
Poetry and shoot it
With my plastic hand-gun
And make fun of it after I paint it
With make-up
And call it a silly, little girl!
Poetry sucks!
The end,
So,
Where’s my cookies,
Oh, I guess I burnt them,
Oops…one more thing just in case you forgot
Poetry sucks!
Sounds like a song, a bad, song,
Okay, I will shut-up now,
But more thing
No, not poetry sucks (although it does)
I need to shower
My body odor is horrible,
Do you know whose fault that is,
It’s poetry’s fault, why?
Because:
Poetry sucks!

Come ride the purple hippo
Through pink jungle of neon mist
Filled with monkeys full of nasty tricks
With a poet who took a nasty hit
Listen as a narrate my acid trip

I pretend I'm a poet, but I'm just a hack
I write to get shit off my back
Listen to my words, I've important things to say
I think ill wash my car today

Nah I'm just kidding, I washed it last week
But something in the back is beginning to stink
Maybe it's the body I forgot to discard
That can't be it, his skin is barely hard

Oops, I better stop before ya'll think I'm creepy
If I'm not careful, ya'll might even believe me
I promise you, I'm totally sane
Oh great it's starting to rain

That's right I'm bringing up the weather
I wonder if I can keep this going on forever
Rambling on and on about nothing
As if anyone was still even reading

Oh I got my raise by the way
We weren't talking about it but I say what I say
Might as well bring you all up to date
Maybe if I'm interesting enough you'll take the bait

Something something something something
That last line was absolutely nothing
Here I go talking nonsense
Gee I'm starting to look incompetent

Blah blah blah, are you still there?
This is the end................... Right here

Dirtfarm said:My girl is overwhelmingly Voluptuous
but missing the “meat” on the bones
she’s Quite but I can’t get her to shut her mouth
not being gasconading, But
I keep telling her to put Some clothes on
can’t sit naked by the window during the day
sun has a Way of ruining things over time
colostomy bag placed in atmospheric temperatures
want last long and gives a funny taste
I have paraskavedekatriaphobia
thank god it’s Only Thursday the 12th
daily showers only washes off yesterday’s lube
regardless if she’s magnanimous with the affection
her unencumbered life Style dampers the relationship
I don’t find the patch on your ass sexy
when you Can’t sit up straight in the truck
maybe it would be best if i put you back in the box
before you get a Plastic yeast infection  




don't play dirt.....that is fantastic...i think they were lookin for a diff sort of bad bro..........ahahahahhahahahhaha!!!!!

Mediocre Sex Poem

I never liked her
I'm not lying
Did I want sex? Sure
Every cloud has a silver lining

I took her for a roll in the hay
I wanted a quick lay before I hit the casket
It was the best day
I put all my eggs in one basket

She completed me
Once I was blind but now I see
The whole situation got me excitable
Her sexuality was flawlessly delightful

I drunk till I got drunk
tasted wasted it good
looked like shit ate like a dog
ate a drug
got drug
fucked a rug
worm and snug
puke on the floor
like that place
to much space
lost my mind
mind to lose
chose the booze
go to sleep

Bad Poem

It was a dark and stormy night on the
precipice of fall. Green leaves met
brown as the sky cried white lighting
and hard rain, finishing half-dead
trees early.

Honey did you fall from heaven
I am going to stop you there
I smile make one wink
Then what do you finally think
Your so smoking
Did iI smoke cigs or am I on fire
Who the fuck knows its not my best
But it will have to do
Because right now I'm mad so guess I'm through