Poetry competition CLOSED 24th January 2014 1:07pm
WINNER
Kou_Indigo (Karam L. Parveen-Ashton)
Kou_Indigo (Karam L. Parveen-Ashton)
RUNNERS-UP:
Viddax
and LovingFighter
Jabberwocky Jugglers
Anonymous
Poetry Contest Description
write a nonsense verse
Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky is my personal favorite example.
But there are other kinds of nonsensical verse.
For examples and definition:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonsense_verse
Challenge:
Stretch your mammoth claws outgrabeus and write some wonderful garbles of your own
No word limit, but must have rhymes.
Old or new.
2 poems max per author
But there are other kinds of nonsensical verse.
For examples and definition:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonsense_verse
Challenge:
Stretch your mammoth claws outgrabeus and write some wonderful garbles of your own
No word limit, but must have rhymes.
Old or new.
2 poems max per author
(This piece was entered in another similar competition in early October to finish in early November but has not been judged and I presume will not be now. I hope that is ok).(This satire on genetic engineering and the current labour market is perhaps more Jonathan Swift than Lewis Carroll)
Crocodile and Giraffe
The crocodile and giraffe, they'd remark
Met on a hill with the flood all around.
While the croc sunned, thinking what a lark
The giraffe stretched for the leaves to be found
On those few trees above the water mark,
Amusing the croc for who fish did abound.
The lady crocodile and gentleman giraffe
Enjoyed the company fate had bestowed.
At each other's eating habits both did laugh.
Humour put them on the romantic road.
You think croc and giraffe mating is naff?
Wrong. Their erotic passion did explode.
On what kind of child they could not agree.
She wanted his long neck and her gnasher teeth
To catch geese nesting in one big tree.
Long front legs with her swishy tail beneath
He thought would get leaves to mouth quite carefree.
The babe arrive with patches yellow and black.
No big teeth but mum's swishy tail to the rear.
Dad's long front legs but hers short at the back.
Mum moaned 'This groc. will give none any fear.'
When he grew up he found a career.
Kids would slide down his neck yellow and black,
In the fun park, until reaching his rear,
Where, with his swishy tail, he gave them a final whack
To the tent where parents were drinking beer.
Inspired by my son who, when aged about two, asked his heavily pregnant childminder whether she would give birth to a crocodile or a giraffe and which would she prefer.
Crocodile and Giraffe
The crocodile and giraffe, they'd remark
Met on a hill with the flood all around.
While the croc sunned, thinking what a lark
The giraffe stretched for the leaves to be found
On those few trees above the water mark,
Amusing the croc for who fish did abound.
The lady crocodile and gentleman giraffe
Enjoyed the company fate had bestowed.
At each other's eating habits both did laugh.
Humour put them on the romantic road.
You think croc and giraffe mating is naff?
Wrong. Their erotic passion did explode.
On what kind of child they could not agree.
She wanted his long neck and her gnasher teeth
To catch geese nesting in one big tree.
Long front legs with her swishy tail beneath
He thought would get leaves to mouth quite carefree.
The babe arrive with patches yellow and black.
No big teeth but mum's swishy tail to the rear.
Dad's long front legs but hers short at the back.
Mum moaned 'This groc. will give none any fear.'
When he grew up he found a career.
Kids would slide down his neck yellow and black,
In the fun park, until reaching his rear,
Where, with his swishy tail, he gave them a final whack
To the tent where parents were drinking beer.
Inspired by my son who, when aged about two, asked his heavily pregnant childminder whether she would give birth to a crocodile or a giraffe and which would she prefer.
Anonymous
Yep, Marthard. You are right on the psychic beam there; I was thinking about that very poem this morning.
Thanks for the great opener. :)
Thanks for the great opener. :)
Anonymous
TYTLE of MY ENTRY--I'm serious
'Dis Makes sooo Much Sensical nonsense
Verse Won
She doesn't know shit from shinola.
Big foot wants to strangle her pussy.
She's a pussy without my monkey.
Here kitty kitty.
I will let you lick sum ape milk.
Howl howl.
Verse Tew
She's dumb like a box of rocks.
Snakes want her fucking dead.
Here rokky rokky.
I'll let you taste my venom.
Hiss hiss.
Verse Tres
She's ugly as a hairless chihuahua.
Dog catchers will bury her.
Here doggy doggy.
Jump in my fucking net.
Arf arf.
Verse Fore
She's thinks she's a hot chick.
Foxes want to break her neck.
Chicky chicky.
Let me hold yew.
Crack crack.
'Dis Makes sooo Much Sensical nonsense
Verse Won
She doesn't know shit from shinola.
Big foot wants to strangle her pussy.
She's a pussy without my monkey.
Here kitty kitty.
I will let you lick sum ape milk.
Howl howl.
Verse Tew
She's dumb like a box of rocks.
Snakes want her fucking dead.
Here rokky rokky.
I'll let you taste my venom.
Hiss hiss.
Verse Tres
She's ugly as a hairless chihuahua.
Dog catchers will bury her.
Here doggy doggy.
Jump in my fucking net.
Arf arf.
Verse Fore
She's thinks she's a hot chick.
Foxes want to break her neck.
Chicky chicky.
Let me hold yew.
Crack crack.
Anonymous
~~~
An owl in a barn gave a howl
Where he shared a perch cheek by jowl
With a bear in a chair
And a dog with no hair
So the dog and the bear gave a growl
An elephant was their best friend
Who helped them the barn to defend
From the mice and the fleas
Who stole all their cheese
They beat them all in the end
They wrote a song to celebrate
The Beatles they tried to emulate
They wrote the first line
Then had to mime
Because the dog would not cooperate
They went to the seaside one day
On the sand they started to play
But they lost their ball
In a large rock pool
So they had their tea on a tray
The elephant went home to the zoo
To see the keeper he knew
The children cheered
When he appeared
He caught the buns that they threw
Dnaltiwkcuf
I induce a tale or two
For nonsense verse true,
Grable the cable
Fold the table
Pull down a floor
And draw the door
Tell ye all of Dnaltiwkcuf
While on hot words I puff.
Listen there to you
As the clocks moo,
While I speak of a world:
The cuboid home so curled
Where mortals perambulate
By curved horizens straight
Richlings ruffle in glee
As with coins worry flee
Yet poorlings are bled
Their bones make bread
And lollings spake thus
Of empty twittering fuss.
For in this land
Status is canned
Labels sorely penned:
No more of wide bend,
Scarecrows want no brains
As "wisdom nought but pains",
Tinfolk have no hearts
Tech got all those parts;
Machine is God
Humanity odd,
Lions brass bold
Forswear all old
Age is stupid
Useless cupid,
Thrust pelvis and tongue
Only die once so die young!
None save heart and mind
"No one gets far being kind"
In this land of spew
Keep the mindful few;
Screwed nonces tight
Who think not fight
Of the others no avoid
Extra option means void.
So as you walk on Dnaltiwkcuf
Finding sense will be tough
But always wise and happy be
To all the tiwkcuf's you see
Or else a tiwkcuf you will be.
I induce a tale or two
For nonsense verse true,
Grable the cable
Fold the table
Pull down a floor
And draw the door
Tell ye all of Dnaltiwkcuf
While on hot words I puff.
Listen there to you
As the clocks moo,
While I speak of a world:
The cuboid home so curled
Where mortals perambulate
By curved horizens straight
Richlings ruffle in glee
As with coins worry flee
Yet poorlings are bled
Their bones make bread
And lollings spake thus
Of empty twittering fuss.
For in this land
Status is canned
Labels sorely penned:
No more of wide bend,
Scarecrows want no brains
As "wisdom nought but pains",
Tinfolk have no hearts
Tech got all those parts;
Machine is God
Humanity odd,
Lions brass bold
Forswear all old
Age is stupid
Useless cupid,
Thrust pelvis and tongue
Only die once so die young!
None save heart and mind
"No one gets far being kind"
In this land of spew
Keep the mindful few;
Screwed nonces tight
Who think not fight
Of the others no avoid
Extra option means void.
So as you walk on Dnaltiwkcuf
Finding sense will be tough
But always wise and happy be
To all the tiwkcuf's you see
Or else a tiwkcuf you will be.
Ode to JABBERWOCKY!
(`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.)
A walk amounsnt the cryptrues.
A stroll beneath the cometrues.
A rattle before the light through.
The yandauer of breifments.
Its your Mother the Earthen mossy road.
Its your brother the collusion of written notes.
Its your another that welked upon the sown.
So take a break and burn rotted turkish meets alone.
In conclusion fintie the birds last supper.
In illusion cast onward the long lost lover.
In delsion I was hidden amounst the passing nightmares cover.
So recall the air'd youthfull days of yet another.
Anonymous
I'm applauding the entries here. TY all...
I will reread every poem once the comp has ended. So if anyone edits his/her poem before the close, don't worry that I will miss the polish. I'll smile at it.
Let the elephinos* stampede...!
* a cross between elephant and rhino. Also a term for nonsensical lyric, pronounced (H)ell-if-I-know.
I will reread every poem once the comp has ended. So if anyone edits his/her poem before the close, don't worry that I will miss the polish. I'll smile at it.
Let the elephinos* stampede...!
* a cross between elephant and rhino. Also a term for nonsensical lyric, pronounced (H)ell-if-I-know.
charity begins with a C
sometimes my own mind scares me
and though it was, so shall it still be
god bless Tweedle Dee,
for he has truly fallen from the dumb tree
not too far from where the apple be
but he always had a smile for the ladies
so, happy are those that are filled with joy
oh boy, someone's thrown truppence into that damn toy
and now its mouth is moving ..joy
forget everything you can't remember
from september through december there's at least one blue moon
too soon so far to tally them up, whose got a harpoon
we'll jerk it from the sky and drown it in the raging sea
then post its dying gargles in the key of D
sometimes my own mind scares me
and though it was, so shall it still be
god bless Tweedle Dee,
for he has truly fallen from the dumb tree
not too far from where the apple be
but he always had a smile for the ladies
so, happy are those that are filled with joy
oh boy, someone's thrown truppence into that damn toy
and now its mouth is moving ..joy
forget everything you can't remember
from september through december there's at least one blue moon
too soon so far to tally them up, whose got a harpoon
we'll jerk it from the sky and drown it in the raging sea
then post its dying gargles in the key of D
- The Isle of Snugglindon -
On the Isle of Snugglindon, upon the forest floor,
The silly little wugglebugs, are scurrying around.
“Oh, if I only had a brain!” they’ll say once more,
When the silly little bugs, deem to make a sound.
But no one ever hears those wugglebugs at play…
And most ignore the dens they’ll build in summer.
For high above, the mak-mak birds fly, every day,
Saying: “We must mak-mak our nests!” so sure…
And when you hear these birds calling, so loudly,
You might forget those furry rarglesnarfs so close.
As they lumber through the woods, ever proudly,
Hunting for honey in the buzzy trees by the coasts.
“Oh, I am so fierce and furry!” they’ll say to all…
So the bees drop their honeycombs, and fly so far!
The rarglesnarf is delighted to see the prize to fall,
Whilst mother moon laughs, oft tickling every star.
And there: telling woodchuck jokes in the shade…
Of the bigawig tree, sits a wise ancient hermit crab.
He knows the names of every animal as God made,
And he recites them before bed, him slightly mad!
Often pirates like to come to search for a treasure,
But when they say “Arrrgh!” they’ll have to run…
Lest those rarglesnarfs catch them with a pleasure,
To tickle them into revealing: their barrels of rum.
Now the wookisnooks bring whisky and often yell:
“Uz me, uz you!” and sing old wookisnook songs.
The critters drink until they dream after night fell,
Until the ring ringing: of the early morning gongs.
Within the trees, where the gong-ringers still live,
Fur-balls with arms and legs both strong and long.
It is they: who make the whisky that they do give,
To the wookisnooks: in return for a game of pong.
And once every seven moons, to the cry of loons,
The creatures of Snugglindon Isle hold their party.
With stumbles and swoons, and hungry raccoons,
They drink ‘till they drop and eat feasts so hearty!
Where, oh where a navigator might ask himself…
Oh where or wherever is uncharted Snugglindon?
I’ve heard that there lives many an enchanted elf,
On that island, where strange critters dwell upon!
You’ll not find it on maps: nor by taking catnaps,
And certainly it can’t be found by swimming off.
You could swim for laps until all strength it saps,
Or, you could simply ask the average gargleboff!
But since they only live on the isle that you seek,
There is only one way to be certain you’ll arrive.
Why not ask: any child, on any day of the week?
They’ll happily tell you where the critters thrive!
On the Isle of Snugglindon, upon the forest floor,
The silly little wugglebugs, are scurrying around.
“Oh, if I only had a brain!” they’ll say once more,
When the silly little bugs, deem to make a sound.
But no one ever hears those wugglebugs at play…
And most ignore the dens they’ll build in summer.
For high above, the mak-mak birds fly, every day,
Saying: “We must mak-mak our nests!” so sure…
And when you hear these birds calling, so loudly,
You might forget those furry rarglesnarfs so close.
As they lumber through the woods, ever proudly,
Hunting for honey in the buzzy trees by the coasts.
“Oh, I am so fierce and furry!” they’ll say to all…
So the bees drop their honeycombs, and fly so far!
The rarglesnarf is delighted to see the prize to fall,
Whilst mother moon laughs, oft tickling every star.
And there: telling woodchuck jokes in the shade…
Of the bigawig tree, sits a wise ancient hermit crab.
He knows the names of every animal as God made,
And he recites them before bed, him slightly mad!
Often pirates like to come to search for a treasure,
But when they say “Arrrgh!” they’ll have to run…
Lest those rarglesnarfs catch them with a pleasure,
To tickle them into revealing: their barrels of rum.
Now the wookisnooks bring whisky and often yell:
“Uz me, uz you!” and sing old wookisnook songs.
The critters drink until they dream after night fell,
Until the ring ringing: of the early morning gongs.
Within the trees, where the gong-ringers still live,
Fur-balls with arms and legs both strong and long.
It is they: who make the whisky that they do give,
To the wookisnooks: in return for a game of pong.
And once every seven moons, to the cry of loons,
The creatures of Snugglindon Isle hold their party.
With stumbles and swoons, and hungry raccoons,
They drink ‘till they drop and eat feasts so hearty!
Where, oh where a navigator might ask himself…
Oh where or wherever is uncharted Snugglindon?
I’ve heard that there lives many an enchanted elf,
On that island, where strange critters dwell upon!
You’ll not find it on maps: nor by taking catnaps,
And certainly it can’t be found by swimming off.
You could swim for laps until all strength it saps,
Or, you could simply ask the average gargleboff!
But since they only live on the isle that you seek,
There is only one way to be certain you’ll arrive.
Why not ask: any child, on any day of the week?
They’ll happily tell you where the critters thrive!
Oh the Banshilee! He lies to me!
He huffs and ruffs and aloofs the bluffs
He cracks and lacks at the taper mats
He huddles the puddles into the fuddles
He wades the quades onto the shades
Oh that Banshiree! Swift as a gee!
She giffs the riffs over the tiffs
And swells the fells over the pells
She'll quill the gill
That she will!
But I'll tell you what else
My tiffling pelts
I am the fee that sets the bee
I am the Banshilee!
The Banshiree!
I am the me!
Swift as a gee
A jig to the jam
That I am!
Certainly you see
I have lied to thee
With argons and jargons
I'm drunk on glam
Though surely true
You'll lie too
When I say it was you
Who tuft the loo
As swift as a gee
You'll cry Banshilee! Banshiree!
But I am not he nor am I she
But you are indeed
I am just me
^ ok that was fun lol.
He huffs and ruffs and aloofs the bluffs
He cracks and lacks at the taper mats
He huddles the puddles into the fuddles
He wades the quades onto the shades
Oh that Banshiree! Swift as a gee!
She giffs the riffs over the tiffs
And swells the fells over the pells
She'll quill the gill
That she will!
But I'll tell you what else
My tiffling pelts
I am the fee that sets the bee
I am the Banshilee!
The Banshiree!
I am the me!
Swift as a gee
A jig to the jam
That I am!
Certainly you see
I have lied to thee
With argons and jargons
I'm drunk on glam
Though surely true
You'll lie too
When I say it was you
Who tuft the loo
As swift as a gee
You'll cry Banshilee! Banshiree!
But I am not he nor am I she
But you are indeed
I am just me
^ ok that was fun lol.
I made up a parody of Jabberwocky in 2010, dedicated to the British Coalition Government of Cameron and Clegg. Some jokers called the coalition the Cleggmeron, I thought CAMERCLEGG! The first verse refers to the events of the coalition's forming, the second involves names of a few of the big names involved.
'Twas springtime when Dave and Nick put their coalition on parade,
All gooey went the media and the commentators outplayed.
Beware the Camerclegg my son, the fists that squeeze, the claws that cut,
Beware the Osborne bird and shun the dubious Pickles nut!
'Twas springtime when Dave and Nick put their coalition on parade,
All gooey went the media and the commentators outplayed.
Beware the Camerclegg my son, the fists that squeeze, the claws that cut,
Beware the Osborne bird and shun the dubious Pickles nut!
