Everyday I Wake Up Alone</3

My Lady Is Broken

I don't recall ever feeling this defeated
Heart, mind and soul depleted
Soaked by the tides of my desperation
Her love absent without explanation


The space between us no longer measured in distance
My heart fights back with endless persistence
This chill in the air survives a thousand fires
Suddenly a stranger to all her desires


If she would only show me the colour that began this decline
I would paint over it white, bright and divine
Silence that brings a deafening sound
My heart pumping fear with every pound


Love shows it's cruelty, refusing to hide
Every minute I stay I die more inside
All I can hear now are the words she can't say
Maybe this is a dream and i will wake one day

Sometimes, late at night, I lay awake
Thinking of what went wrong between us
What could have torn us apart so badly?
Yet the ghost of you, still comes to haunt me

I still feel the warmth of your caressing arms
As you pulled me in and kissed me with crimson lips
Ensuring me everything was fine, holding me tight
Letting my defenses down knowing I was safe in your arms

I still smell your perfume stained in the sheets
The scent of vanilla enticing me with each inhale
An addiction that I can’t seem to get my fill from its euphoria
Desperately trying to find a new source of my fascination

I still hear your loving words blowing through the air
Creeping inside my head and driving me to no end
Three simple words caught off the tip of your tongue
Cutting so deep in my heart, I can never begin to mend

I still see your silhouette in a faintly lighted room
Every curve accentuated with such beauty and grace
Careful to examine every detail with a fine toothed comb
Your shadow dancing like the flames burning in my heart

I still taste your bittersweet kiss, laced with cherry Chap Stick
A lethal combination, a drug I’d easily overdose on again and again
If I could just get one more taste, just enough to bring me back to life
But now, I have no idea where those have been after me

And as I lay in bed, falling to my own personal demise
Agonizing after you left me in such a horrible state
I wake each morning looking where you used to sleep
And realizing you were a dream and I am all alone </3

Sailing Ahead After The Shipwreck


Clock ticks, moves slower than sand,
devilish land, the remnants of love.
No one is immune to it's pain,
" leave" she said "no more" she's done
a nation of millions to hold me back.
I bred ignorance since the beginning,
sailing ahead after the shipwreck,
things have changed, expert arsonist
Asking the compass to guide my 
heart against the eye of the storm,
how could I ever live in a world so
negative without your final touch.
Goodbye my love, I'll miss your grace,
at a snail's pace with life I race.
What could I ever do to regain your 
trust in a man so concerned with lust
All I ever wanted was you amidst the
betrayal and lies, leave me alone to 
hide and come back full of hope, even 
though I know nothing will ever be the 
same, but without you I'm not sane.
Against the grain I became Caine,
there is no one else to blame for my
selfishness and shame, I'm lost.

Et a la Fin ...

I despise myself for being this  lonely
for so desperately needing a token
of love,  I believed your poetic lies

Your promises  ...

... made to be broken

So come on, M'sieur -  here I am
Heart and legs opened wide
in return for a pretence of caring from you.

... I have nothing left in me to hide

Come - kiss these lips, taste these breasts,
make my pussy wet with the throb
of your words so alluringly penned
twist my heart and my soul
with your ravishing lies
See only yourself in my tear-mirrored eyes

Hold me fast in arms made of smoke

... and then go

Because after all's said and done
it was only a joke ...

to you
but never to me