My last breath

I want you guys to dig down deep into your soul and think.....

...

ON MY WAY OUT

Crimson blending pattern,

warming the linoleum.

I won't be found for days.

She finally succeeded.

Severing my arteries.

Her way of getting rid of the pain.

I can see reflections.

Dawn is creeping in.

It's frigid light in slivers on my eyes.

You know once you exhale,

No more air shall enter.

http://s.imwx.com/common/articles/images/norovirus2_650x366.jpg


DEATH IS NEAR.  


I can see him near me.

His looming presence. His black wings.

As I struggle with each breath.

My mother is also here.  I wonder how.

Oh yes and my aunt Charlotte.  How I loved her.

I thought she passed on but I can see her bright smile.

There is a rustle in the bathroom.

As another old friend wanders in.

I am in the veil between death and life.

I feel better now.

Floating with less pain, imagining the living crying.

While the dead visit in droves.

So happy to have left the earth and their bodies.

I once feared death.  Denied and was angry.

But The Angel of Death Has come to take me home.

I take my last breath.  It sounds like a rattle.

My family greets me.  Including the ones never met.

Hope old poems are okay.


Pretty girls

Pretty girls with lives so fun

never known what its like to run.

Pretty girls with skin so fine

there are scars up and down mine.

Pretty girls living so free

never heard any screams from me.

Pretty girls without any dread

is what i think about as my wrists bleed red.

My Last Goodbye

I lay on the floor.
I can't stop watching the door.
I'm not sure what I'm waiting for.
Not until concentrate a little more.
The clock by the door says it's 3:46
Oh God, how can this be fixed?
Not now, no way can it be true.
I don't want to be found, not by you.
While I draw my last breath in,
I hear the door open.
The last words I'll ever speak,
I say to my brother, as I become weak.
That's it, this is the last thing I'll see.
It's my brothers terrified face when he sees me.
As my spirit leaves me.
I wonder what he thinks.
Did he hear what I said?
I said "I'm free, now that I'm dead."

*Crimson Love notes*

He said........... He said.........
That everything was fine,
He Said........... He said.........
That this was the last time.

we went to far it came so fast.
i just wanted this moment to last,
Of paper hearts and razor water,
A last resort of crimson slaughter.

He said........  He Said.......
Everything was going to be fine,
He said......... He Said.......
That he was eternally mine.

My mind wanders aimlessly,
Words lose meaning they once had.
My blood now flows painlessly,
This is why they claimed me mad.
I watch crimson fall like rain.
Your face, the last thing I see.
I smile, it seems insane,
That you had ever loved me.
Now I am leaving you.
Your screams, cries, and all your lies.
Told so many times were true...
Time to say our last goodbyes.
Emotions are what destroy us.
Memories flew through my mind,
Then, as I lay unconscious,
I left it all behind.
Every day of my whole life
Spent for no purpose at all.
Now ends before my knife,
Forever, my biggest fall.
Physical pain hurts no more,
Felt for so many reasons.
I now lay lifeless upon the floor,
Payment for acts of treason.
For me, you see, its too late,
But I had to get away.
No longer held back by fate,
No longer emotions prey.

- I'm sorry -

I had to go
Now it's time
I'm sorry

The pain was unbearable
It was indescribable
I'm sorry

It has to be this way
I didn't want to go
But I must
I'm sorry

But no one will understand
The pain, suffering, and rage
So I'm sorry

My cold body
Lay their helpless
As the boiling blood
Sip out onto the floor

Creating a pool of puddle
Fill with curse blood
Combining with the tears

Which rained upon
The flooring that
Once was white
Now is red

Before the last breath
Escape my colorless lips
And soon to be lifeless suit

I smile form
Onto my pale face
Now the pain is gone

"I'm sorry for everything"

I expect myself to wonder in my mind as I die

hell is forzen
Dark dorment drakes slumber,
mountain peaks are their own.
Spears of blackend lumber,
lay, victim, naked shown.
Scorched are the fields,
Grim, the soul reaper.
Abundant are Death's yields,
into the abyss my breath deeper.
My feet solid stiff...
My spirt spent...
An embracing cliff...
I give you consent...

Laying on the bathroom floor
In a pool of my own blood
My breath becoming shallow and inaudible.
I can faintly hear a rattling.
Maybe of the door handle?
I hear some one call out to me.
My mother?
The door shakes more.
Then bursts open.
The people I call parents loom over me.
I give them one last smirk.
And spit at them.
I blink my eyes getting heavy.
I open my eyes one last time.  
So I can die happy.
So I can die knowing THEY are in pain.
As I take my last breath
I twist my face into a wicked smile.

Tortured thoughts

"My twisted soul can no longer fly,
Darkness rips at my blinding eyes"
"As i sit alone in the horror thoughts of sanity,
My heart is warm and love is waiting"

"Ask an angel what happiness feels like,
Follow the demons or the light"
"Blood on our hands and regrets in the soul,
Drown a man whos hollow from sorrow"

"Eating the lies like the starving homeless,
Waves of bullets hits like hearteache"
"every second i scream silently the razors drop oh so loudly,
The blood drops hit the floor and the pills affects are heavy"

"Glad 2 let go"

Hard to believe but I'm really glad to let go.
Life has been crushingly hard.
My health has been failing.  It is all that I know.

Finally a reason to escape my earthly fleshy skin.
To leave a failing regime.  This epitaph of skin and marrow.
Will soon be a fading and forgotten dream.

As the room dims and my heart beat gets louder but shorter in its beats.  I recall the better times when I was younger and more
agile upon my feet.  

Whether this is a taste of heaven or only an illusion to taunt me.
I continue to let the time pass slow.  As each breath will shortly
leave.  And no longer forever haunt me.

A rushing whirlwind of colors and light flashed before my eyes.
A mini seizure perhaps??  The synapses of my mind finally triggering their meltdown.  From the earlier fall I had taken so abruptly.  That horrific head trauma caused after that collapse.

My breath became ever weaker and the room was flickering on and off like a dimmer.  Time to go off to the eternal unknowns forever and ever.

I assume you mean laying, dying.. not just bleeding out? So..

Chasing the Dragon

The inner beast is
awoken inside of me.

The battle that's lost,
I see as a tragedy.

The inner demons,
brought on with a single thought,

Wrapped up in myself,  
with a quickness, the drugs were bought.

Broke down in a syringe,  
and slammed in my vein,

On comes the rush,
my life threatened again.

My inner peace is shaken,
and my youth was robbed,

By the demon within,
thus the cycle begins.

Bottle it up, don't speak a word,
You don't want to talk, nevermind what you heard.

"To get your feelings out",
or so they said, "is blowing hot air!!"

Nobody's listening,
'cause nobody cares!!

I heard as a youth,

I was twisted askew.

So back to these demons,
the ones I can't handle.

I deal in my own way,
as my mind is a scramble.

Hold my hand,
embrace my soul as the rush comes.

My body trembles, my mind is a flutter,
my soul pays the price as the process is done.

The high runs its course,

Duly noted in blood.

If I'd only learned to cope,
as a child should.

There would be no dragon,
no white pony to ride.

No pain and agony,

No demons inside.

But for now,
there's devils to quell.

Forgive my temporary lapses,
as I over come this spell.

Head's getting dizzy,

That was a big shot.

"Better than normal" he said.
Shit,, I forgot.

I feel my soul lifting,

From it's normal place,

My heart is slowing,  
from it's steady pace,

And the color is draining
from my face,

And my thoughts are calming
from the normal rat race,

As my soul departs,

From this earthly tomb,

The first time,
in a lifetime, that which I seak,

A lifetime of torment,
turns to a deathtime of peace.

So what's the price that's paid,
for innocence lost?

Why only my life, the ultimate cost.