Writes on Quotes...

Choose one of the following quotes, write a poem
Any style
2 entries MAX-
Title the Poem, and state which quote you picked
All of these quotes are from George Carlin, you don't have to like or agree with him..feel free to question or refute.

You have one week, GO..


George Carlin Quotes

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."

So what's the speed of dark?

How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
(NOTE: The question above is the only one which can actually be answered seriously. Anybody know the answer?)

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Do we need to include the quote in our poem or just write something that relates to it, and then mention below the poem what particular quote it came from.

EngrVV said:Do we need to include the quote in our poem or just write something that relates to it, and then mention below the poem what particular quote it came from.


Not at all-no need to include the quote in your poem, simply state with the poem which one you used to inspire you...

Thank's for your interest, hope you will enter

.:Cover The Back & Front:.


Went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone.
I said, "The whole time."
They said, "Does that mean you’re not coming back?"
I told them, “Don’t know yet;
It’ll probably be as long as my front has its way”
Both my kids looked at me funny and asked me. “What did you just say?”
I said. “Yeah, my front and my back kinda work in tandem and
they don’t do anything random. But my front usually takes the lead
Whereas my back as a matter of fact it just takes heed.
So together, when they approach time as in other things
they do it as a whole…hence…The Whole Time”
Again, my kids looked at me funny
Yet, they asked me as always for some more money
That’s when my back backed out slow, my front told ‘em, “had to go
and not to let their noses get runny”

The End.

Thank's Kriticool..a perfect start! :-)

http://mojosavings.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/prep-H.jpg
WHAT HAPPENED TO PREPARATIONS A THROUGH G?


Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

I am a trained chemist working in a lab

On an embarrassing problem so many people have

We tried numerous salves to see if they could help

That horrid pain makes people want to yelp

Preparation A proved worthless

Preparation B made it worse  

Preparation C made people come

We sold that later as another drug

Preparation D stood for dumb ass

Preparation E made people hallucinate

It is now a recreational compound

For those who are crazy enough to try it

Finally we hit on preparation H

Which is short for hemorrhoids

A topic not discussed in public

Even difficult to discuss with the Doc  

It proved to be a moneymaker  

And that is not all

Put it under your eyes  

It shrinks those awful bags  

I have gone on to other projects

But my name shines on the wall  

Kitty made preparation H

And saved our derrieres for all.

very good Kitty, thank you

   Instance Creeping                         *so what's the speed of dark?



Creeping along the edge, our universe

expanding this same manner

popping up within galaxies

vacuums void, infer life

stars dust shaken, yanked in thrust

Black hole gardens, destruction


Diligent

 Apocalyptic

   Raging

     Kaon-s


The man headed home, dragging feat

fates delayed by way of pharmacy

screaming foul swift winds, cursing

sends in the rush of an unfed junkie

fixing the man with a glazed over stare

squeezing a throat now gasping for air


    Driving

  Actual

Ramped

Killing



fyi folks-Dup is not friendly to off placed letters

 *Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

   
    How Loud The Sound


Three at a time, were many bands of mine, sweating, bleeding tunes
in days and of night in the opens of June.  Hatred came when
thinner  forest brought neighbors who herd, cattle mooing, "it's the middle of the night" cops start to visit in the wiles of the hour.
Asking politely, for no ordinance was here, berated by punks they turn on their heel with a guffaw a squeal for doughnuts were near.
So just as The Tap of our shoes start the pace, we try to find eleven
blowing out the whole place. Years later acoustics did rage, spending time on coffee houses, colleges small stage, we grew milder  our  ripened mid age, set for the porch and the quieted pace. I changed to disgust as fate took my cars, wandering for miles, intent on hoof.
So sat silence as the walk returned home sounding out the distance,
from where I once roamed, no longer the vibrations rattling cages
just the screams adorning some pages, I turn up loud once in a while whisper the purpose , mostly screaming deafening life of the circus,
my squirting flower and big red nose, no longer has his neighbors in throes. Ever wishing silence be broken.

What Could Be Deeper Than Love


(Photo source: EngrVV's blog)


What could be stonger than the call of the wild,
stronger than the mystery of the unknown
I don't understand why my mind has flown
Back to our beloved island paradise
Where lovebirds are known
To sing from dusk till morn -
Where our young love has been forlorn

We used to swim and play in its crystal blue waters,
As our parents combed and tamed the rough seas
Often wondering what lies underneath
Among the sponges and beyond the coral reefs
As our backs were caressed by the frothy waves
Lying down half-naked on its white sandy shores

Now I know why I was always drawn to the waters
For those bittersweet memories still linger in my brain
We separated without saying words of love and good-byes,
Nothing to hold on to, but those sweet innocent kisses
Until now... as our prayers are answered and not in vain

What could be deeper than love, but love itself,
For after so many hundred moonless nights,
never in my wildest dream did I
imagine...will ever see you once again!
We vowed to love each other
with a love that is deep -
deeper than any ocean,
deeper than what our bright minds could fathom,
from here to eternity
now-- and forever...

________________________________________________________________________
From: "Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there."

.:Different-Person-Rally-Me’s:.


I don’t know about you two guys, but I think number 4 is serious.
Him waving that sword around acting kinda delirious.
And number 3, you be acting quite mysterious.
Calling yourself Secret Agent Man when you think we ain’t looking.
Now got No. 2, him all paranoid about them books he’s been cooking.
Dude act like he might take the ledge, step off the edge and do it on the double
That kinda thinking get us all in trouble. If you ask me, I don’t think No. 3 could do jail.
Got his weight up, but I think his mind’s kinda frail.

So I’m thinking it’s best that I just take over.
I got Sword man, Bourne man, and Books man to consider.
And with either one of y’all I could land up the river.
So that leaves me, Number 1 to sort these things out.
We’re all the same body so it can’t be a rout.
That probably be stupid and we’d hurt all ourselves.
I say we turn ourselves in before more than our mind fails
We all hear them sirens and they sound pretty close.
And between all of us I would stand to lose the most.
So I’m taking over before we each become toast!
Just let me do the talking seeing I’ve been the Host

Now, quick… get our hands up!!!



The End.



Based on the George Carlin quote: "If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

A Day of Multiple Seasons


Photo source: EngrVV's blog


Sting's baby had four seasons in one day
Hurricane Sandy came along with two at mid-day
Autumn snow in the middle of Fall
Women are by nature, unpredictable

I once was swept off my feet on a winter's day
It happened so fast I didn't know what to say
Before my frozen brain could process its thought
The purple hazy sun was shining far from what I sought

My pretty well-mannered Gemini babe
Should have only two just like Sandy
No one compares, not even Sting's baby
By quantum leaps, she's so far behind

Morning coffee greeted with snow cold tempers,
And a hot lunch filled with tongues of capers
A slew of eerie deafening  silence between meals
Wondering if wrath of thunder will be served for dinner

Dinner came smoothly and without a hitch
To my surprise she threatened me like a bitch
She would commit suicide if I don't commit
To her fucking wishes that will make you vomit

After a wild shoot-out of Rogets and Websters,
They vanished with the whirlwind as darkness unfolds
The day may have started cold as a winter breeze,
Yet,  it ended warm, as a summer embrace...


_____________________________________________________________________________________
From a George Carlin quote:
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

http://i1072.photobucket.com/albums/w371/missysub/DSCN0330_zpsfa399a7f.jpg

"Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?" - George Carlin

Le cheval

shrouded prince in sweetened dust,
I watched you twirl the same sad waltz
in captive circles, beneath the glare
of history; the diamond rivets
still pinned you there, like stone

yet they swarmed in, the little ones
mounting dead-wood saddles
to grasp leather straps
with their brass lashes,
whipping the color from your eyes.

Oh cheval, mon ami,
the dance is never ending
your soul glued to hearts; to feet
that never felt beyond
the dark, the peculiar.

these are all great so far, and I've had quite a few chuckles reading..so thank's!

I like to use quotes like these because they have a tendency to spark something different in writers...

Little time left for more entries..and I appreciate the ones who have entered

Thank's you all for participating, I've enjoyed all of your entries. congrats to kriticool-winner.