What went wrong in my life?

one entry per person
no word limit
no collaborations
explain what you think went wrong in your life

To Drift Away    

When I close my eyes
and drift away
I re-open old dreams of
new surprise
in younger days
before my life lines
became a haze
before street signs
became all one way
when all I needed
I could find
along the way
before the bind
of an every day
when a golden hind
docked to bay
before the future fined
a clocked fee  I'd pay
then suddenly I
came back to today
I realised luck had struck
needless to say
when you penned a new book
by coming my way
what we have cooked
will last an always
international cuisine
grilled in sunny rays
a new machine  
will kill
all the yesterdays .

Thank you Paul for such a wonderful start to this competition..peace Crim

Trying To Be Helpful: I Failed

There was this girl
Who became my friend
Two young strange poets
Bonded by a pen

But paper can burn
And words held a secret
So did she, and I couldn't keep it

The heart is a cold place
Behind the jail cell of ribs
And sometimes there isn't a key to
Let it free

I did my best, but just wore down her skin
All the scars I reopened
All the words I said aloud
All the times I didn't think
About what I wrote
What I'm still writing down

Didn't think a friendship would wear me down
But she was the rain, while I tried to be the ground
I just eroded, and washed away

Wish I could forget all the stupid things I did
All the boxes I opened that just had
Demons within

Wish I hadn't tried so hard to be helpful
She was way too far down a road of coals
That I just thought was a pavement of pebbles

Look what helpful's done to me,
I'm draging my soul behind me
With chains 'round my legs
Knives buried in my sides,
And eyes that are cold and blind

Can't believe I gave up helping
All it is is worse for me
Because I'm farther away than ever
From a friendship that I thought would last forever
And a friend who was truely friendly to me...

Such a soulful write Angel thank you for your entry peace Crim

WHAT WENT WRONG WITH MY LIFE - BORN FEMALE


From the time I was a little girl

I hated being female

I was not into ribbons and curls

I wanted to be a boy or a man


My first motive was not to menstruate

No women’s libber can tell me

It is awful, painful and bloody

A stinking foul mess


My second motive was to have some power

I only saw women as powerless

My father giving my mother money penny by penny

Ruling the house like a German King


Dinner at 6 pm, not a moment later

My mother did everything

Cooking, cleaning, bringing him water

To the table for him to drink


My third motive was opportunity

For all that was expected of me

Was to study and graduate

Be a teacher or a nurse

Being married was everything


My fourth motive was my lack of prettiness

So important for a girl

A boy or a man just had to be

Slightly better looking than the devil

For a woman, looks were everything


It is still a man’s world

Even after Female Liberation

We are now liberated enough

To hold down 3 or more jobs at once

First, as a wife, you must be the lover

Then the bearer of several children

Then help with the finances

Both Mom and Pop work

To support one family

When Dad comes home, he relaxes

When Mom comes home she multitasks

The home and its care is still her responsibility

So there she is, Mother, Wife, Lover, Worker

It never ends, there is no slack.

A poem of true angst and desire Kitty thank you for your entry..peace Crim

blond haired hell cuz it sells

i've got sadistic afflictions/for christians/and bitches/
with weak disses/malicious inscriptions/ and scriptures/ to leave you and your mrs./
bleedin in inverted positions/murderous visions/hit you with burnin incisions/
like my sole purpose is prison/

that trifling/chewin on vicodin/automatic rifleman/
laughin at leviathan/
slash you from your eye to chin/
static and a pint of gin/
addict on the mic again/
demon in the attic with a ball of crack and a can/
tryin to find meaning/in being/the maniac that i am/
im leavin/dreamin and scheming/of doin somethin with some meaning/
but thas jus anotha one of my demons/

im an ill drill sgt/who kills with skill of a skilled marksmith/
trapped in this lil apartment/killin the parchment/
spill on the pavement/
my bad ass behavior/
wash my mouth out with buckshot and do the underground a favor/
how long is it gonna take ya?/
what happened to your flava?/
where's your pulse?/did u get fucked up behind another tuls/
whats that thing u water ur garden with?/
oh yeh its the hoes/
i got drunk and gave her all my clothes/
she got the house the car and fucked all my bros/
put her head on a post/
how u suppost?/
to think im gonna allow u to keep livin?
with all ur venting and inventing/
situations that would put me in prison/
in the beginning/there was clean linen/and honest livin/
but now im trippin/on all the cocaine abuse and bitchin/
aborted fetuses/
whatever im a piece of shit/this is how our greetings is/

its 430 am on a thursday
i hope u never wake up again
you're beautiful
i love u
goodbye

John what a stunning write..peace Crim

(this is my first time posting something on this site,this is my first time ever showing anyone my poetry,its really short,and well i really hope you don't hate it!)

My Monster

Where do the nights go
while the crimson flows
blade meets skin
so the thoughts stay within

pain pushes out
"joy" presses in
where does depression start
and pure pain end?

their smiles are like daggers
yet my own is a shield
it can't protect me for long
as the true pain breaks through
all i do is run away day after day
until im finally captured,engulfed in the pain.

Thank you Recovering cutter that was a very moving entry..peace Crim

eleven

at age eleven
an eighteen-year-old split
danielle into two
different people. he (the
name of him is
unimportant) convinced
danielle (at age eleven) to send
nude pictures
of herself. she was lonely.
she was taken advantage of.
she didn’t realise. but
he did.
he knew.
on that day, danielle
ceased to be simply
danielle. she became
Dolphin, and she became
he.

Spectrum

Going out of my mind, life's a bitch
Like a junkie trying to cure the itch
No escape from this shit hole
Out to find the devil to sell my soul
Turned to the lord fucking useless cunt wept
Blade runner shot the bitch while she slept

Took to drugs like water to a duck
Don't look at me like that you hypocritical fuck
Flick flick time to spark up the bick
I just bought THC in a stick
Man that's old school sick
What ya waiting for fucker let's get baked quick

Yea I am pretty open about being a stoner it helps with the anxiety
Self medicated I can function in society so fuck sobriety
Don't agree with me as you slam tinnies oh can't you see the irony
Let's bomb some amphetamines mix it up have some variety   
Smiling with my eyes observing life silently
Yea this gear is good it's gained notoriety

Let me just make a prediction
This unpleasant feeling like an affliction
Leading Jesus out to the crucifixion
Seek it out in the area labelled fiction.
Notice brain you face the final eviction
In for the long haul dancing with addiction

I always try to view this world like an optimistic
But there is always that little yin to bring the pessimistic
Now now let's not get all attached and idealistic
Because let's face it up until recently I was nearly a statistic
All alone I dream like a mystic
That's what happens when you get diagnosed autistic

Thank you Dolphin and Carpe for your strong and heart stirring entries..peace Crim

Sorry for the title change..it was What the hell went wrong in my life..but I thought it was too out there..thank you again for all participating..peace Crim