LONELINESS

“Forever is Not Salvation”
http://s.ngm.com/2010/12/milky-way/img/milky-way-galaxy-615.jpg
Above the ancient valley,  
I sat on the rock precipice,  
witness to the falling of the winter sun.  
Like a dying candle,  
its glaze disappeared in  
brilliant hues of orange-red roses.  
The Milky Way dripped  
its twinkling road  
across the sky,  
quickly growing pitch.  
Forever is not real,
you believed it was.  
Please Sweet, I never asked you for it.  
Listen to me Darling, we cried together once.  
The desperate sound we made was  
carried across endless desert dunes  
in a timeless tune of salvation.  
I never asked you for that either.  
You just thought I did.
How could I save us.
My God, I miss you.

Barrenness


It became lonely
the day we stopped
talking to each other


the room seemed bigger
and kind of 'empty'
my voice echoed in
every corner


Shadows left
movement stilled
life stopped
it seemed


And I felt so alone


The fire went out
there was no spark left
too blow into
to rekindle the flame


Barrenness
I am
shrouded in desolation


The folly lies with us both
and there is no return point
the void is too vast to step into


So now is the time
to change direction
by walking away
from this lonely place

Isolation




T racing lines that lead nowhere
H olding yourself tightly with
I nsecurities in every pocket
S corching the temple of truth



I solation binds you in
S titching closed the exit



L ending you the cold shoulder
O ppressing you too lonlier depths
N epotism falls away from you
E ating away your resilience
L istening to silence and floundering
I nto darkened passages of fate
N aked coldness envelopes
E very open pore licking deeply
S anity vanishes as death whispers
S uicidal songs into your mind



Extreme loneliness prevails
and you stop breathing
while falling into oblivion

"Alone Again"

Take my silent sigh  
the last sigh, since the day i died    
grey skies cast over ground    
the skies fall down with muted sound    
my family's left, they cast the stone    
all that remains is splintered bone    
time is lost    
its never found    
split the cost    
the cable's slack    
but never wound.    
   
im lost again    
im home again    
alone again    
i am home again    
   
space makes peace with memory's that find    
isolation melts as the mind reminds    
colors explode as darkness creeps    
intruders intrude as the body sleeps    
the rope is tight      
not letting go    
wrong is right    
yes means no    
up is down    
black is white    
transform the darkness    
into light    
   
Alone again    
thanks a lot    
home again    
i took my shot.    
Alone again    
im home again    
lost again    
i am home again.        
         
Something has gone    
never to return    
the needle is dropped    
as the Candle burns.    
the knife is sharp    
its Handle blured    
the blade is buried    
as the scars return.    
my eyes closed tight    
don't want to blink    
in uncharted waters i start to sink.    
arms open wide, but letting go    
suppress the feeling      
as they start to grow.    
     

"Encapsulation"

I’ve been waiting for a girl
to come to take me by the hand
Someone to help me remove my head
from this sinking sand
Encapsulation
isolation
It all means the same
Sick of playing this
sick society’s party games.

This pit of darkness is like a mudslide
These feelings of loneliness
are getting out of hand
humans made me this way
I made them look away
Some would say I had it coming
That these feelings exist
only in the back of my mind
The one's who do the talking
are the one's who talk all the time.

I was buried in a casket by society
No hole to climb through  
No lock to pick without a key
darkness, worms, and burning wood
no flickering light for company
escape by hook or by crook.

Encapsulation
Isolation
It all means the same
Turn your back,  
look away in shame
sick of playing this sick socitys party games.

[b]I’m twenty years old
And I am so lost.
Thought I knew my way
Turns out I do not
He said he loved me
And I fell right in
It’s all right baby
It’s not a sin

Love me, drug me
Take the pain away
Love me, drug me
Please just stay
Another minute
Another day
Love me, drug me,
Take the pain away.

I’m twenty years young
And I hate myself
This skin is weighted
And I need help.
I can’t be alone
Without leaving a mark
And that’s on my skin
Not on my heart.

Love me, drug me
Take the pain away
Love me, drug me
Please just stay
Another minute
Another day
Love me, drug me,
Take the pain away.

I’m twenty years wise
I’m twenty years dumb.
In a couple more
What’ll I become?
Someone I’m proud of?
Someone I love?
Or this same girl
Who for twenty years
Hasn’t felt enough?

Love me, drug me
Take the pain away
Love me, drug me
Please just stay
Another minute
Another day
Love me, drug me,
Take the pain away.

Take the pain away
Whatever it takes
Love me, drug me

I’m twenty years wise
I’m twenty years dumb.[/b]

Satellites

She makes the worst things in life sound good
Like destruction and dying alone.
It’s that sad story playing in her eyes
It will captivate you every time.
So sit back and watch it play through
Nothing is more honest or true.

And she never cries anymore
She says the rain does it for her.
And she wishes on satellites
Cause she doesn't believe in stars.

She writes her secrets on the floor
In black ink under a torn red rug.
In the middle of her dark room
That always smells of her perfume.
And she said she’s in love with him
But she’s the girl who can never win.

And she never cries anymore
She says the rain does it for her.
And she wishes on satellites
Cause she doesn’t believe in stars.

And she’s got big dreams in her head
But she knows they’ll never come true.
She keeps a notebook by her bed
Filled with words he never really said
But it makes her to smile to pretend
She doesn't care that it leads to dead ends.

And she never cries anymore
She says the rain does it for her.
And she wishes on satellites
Cause she doesn't believe in stars.

oh she's wishing on satellites
cause she doesn't believe in stars.

Dreams of Cowardice


Don't wake me now, this fantasy is one that I would cling to.
Let me sleep with my head on the bosom of cowardice, and deny the waking world my perverted bravery

Don't wake me now, but if you must torment me so, wake also this heart unable to regret its sins. Wake that which let me forgive with ease when I was a child, and put to bed this wretched clarity.

I won't open my eyes to what is, let me lay instead in the arms of these comforting lies. Dreams are the home of what could be, your grasping hands will wake me in a haunted  house of couldn't be's.

Let me forever run in this meadow of possibility, and leave those salted fields of disappointment behind. Please don't extend your hand to me in comfort, the light of that embrace would burn me.

Another Card


I purchased a picture post card
funny & happy looking; funny looking & happy
it was all of that at the same time; least I thought it was
I licked the stamp like one would lick their wounds
thoughtfully, with much introspection
I again smiled at the card, thought of you
then once again, I mailed it anyway


...

"My friend lonely'

When will this rain stop?
It has been pouring for days.
The streets are lined with a wet dreary glaze.
I stare at the sky as it keeps coming down
This is my life lately, stuck under a cloud
How long can I drift?
How far will I go?
It's seems that I'm trapped here,
deep under sorrows.
I have to remind myself, "It's only rain."
But the water pours down,
Silence breathing it's name.
I watch with grey stares as rain continues to fall
I grow a bit restless, my head presses the wall.
I now pace with anxiety, back and fourth,
tracking my footsteps, on this uneven floor.
Lonely as hell, I wish for a friend
Just someone to talk too, a helping hand.
"If you can hear me please speak, if anyone's there"
I get no reply,
I'm here all alone, what a surprise.
The world passes slowly,
it passes right by.
Even in dreams,
My friend lonely has spies...

Wine Thorns

Every night is cold and dark in me,
i love loneliness and sadness but
there is no one to hear my prayers
i am not free.

I love when silence is my night,
empty bottle with rose thorns deep
in the glass of my life
id like hope to die.

A tasteless wine poisoned by tears,
i pour it on the stars does it even worth it.

Ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,
Darkness of the light,
feeling so great in the hug of hands
that the death offers, id like to die.
Ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,
The life as thing worths a shit,
but if there is someone you can
cry for all night, do i really want to die.

A pointless pasion i beg to find,
a torns of wine i drink all night.

I know that life is short,
all my desires i want to lay in you,
but not every night blesses my to,
so i dream.

I am burning till the track ends,
and night turns back into dusk,
i am just a fool,
of my heart.

Ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,
Darkness of the light,
feeling so great in the hug of hands
that the death offers, id like to die.
Ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,
The life as thing worths a shit,
but if there is someone you can
cry for all night, do i really want to die.

Oh, dear friend, when will you be revealed?
Inside my mind you've been too long concealed.
I await the comfort of your grace,
Wont you come and take me from this place?
This loneliness is proving to be great,
In my weak hands it's too much weight.
-
I cant stand myself anymore,
But I go on, dont know what for.
Should I wait for you to come again?
Come save me from myself, Dear Friend.
-
There are times when I just want to scream,
But I just try to find you in a dream.
The memories have begun to fade,
And now I close my eyes just to evade.
Please come back, I long for your return,
You, more than all else, I sincerely yearn.
-
I cant stand myself anymore,
Loneliness feels worse than before.
Silence has come back to me again,
Come save me from myself, Dear friend.
-
I hear your voice inside the wind,
And all inside me cries for you again.
Please come back, I need some place to hide,
Come take away the pain I've built inside.
I feel so hollow, close to an end,
Where have you gone? I really need a friend.

Only one here

Empty is fun
Lonely is nice
No one is watching
This thrill is just fine
Kick back relax
Be myself
No one to judge
Excitement creeps up
My spine
So much to do
Alot I can do
When i'm all alone
Annoying siblings
Gone
Nagging parents
*poof * disappear
Co-workers, friends
Dead to me
The world is silent
I'm in command
Everything is that much more beautiful
Take things that much slower
Alone
Stop acting, fake smiles
Put up the mask
Be lonely
Who wouldn't enjoy it?
Now I'm in charge of the tv.

Dulce Morta

 
I’m preparing myself for the voyage
and the long draught of Copernicus tears
to follow

That fated wet loneliness that swells
like salt in the belly
before enzymes attack

I was made for greater things
but needlessly I waited
for the slowing tic tock of eternity alone

There was a purpose to my madness
but I soon lost myself
in the hypothesis of reason

Now the familiarity is confined
to a memento, to a fleeting memory
that virtually hangs from a thread

The wands of many wizards
perform sacrilege and dispense isolation
while my heart's eyes blindly submit to incantation

I walk outside myself along ashen streets
forging toward light

These feasts provide freedom
from the noxious ritual of daily starvation
because in the hours between sun and set
my best moments are realized

They are in the slices of the sweetest fruit
that grace my lips
and in the notes of glorious sound
that tantalize my hearing
they keep me upbeat
maintain my mood
and the colors of the day
stay fresh and vibrant
because of these moments

To go without
is to starve
in the most abysmal absence of nourishment
these senses have known
and to grow small
with the hours that follow
until my bones decay
as does hope

To think of a time
when magic has left my world
is to relinquish what satisfaction remains
and cast aside the beauty of now
for it is true and rich and pure
when all else is but flash and dazzle

So I claw until my nails are bloodied and ruined
sifting through gravity and shadow
to find the peace that brings me to you
and listen to the whispers of my heart
telling me that I will always find home with you
no matter how far you are

There ain't nobody, askin me, where I've been
There ain't nobody, that would name me, as a friend
There ain't nobody, that's droppin by, to say hi
There ain't nobody, that's carin whether I live or die
I have nobody, to tell about, my growing angers
I have nobody, to tell about me, following strangers
There ain't nobody makin sure I'm taking all of my pills
There ain't nobody, slowing me down and keeping me still, Im truly alone

They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone

There ain't nobody, telling me, not to jump off
There ain't nobody, telling me, not to chop your block off
I get so bloody, I ruin, all of my clothes
I get so bloody, I sit in, the dark alone
I have nobody, to tell about, my dark fantasies
I have nobody, to tell about, my dark realities
There ain't nobody, around me, nobody wanna be friends
I get so bloody, all on me, the mess never ends, I'm truly alone

They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone

I walked into a Super K, and went to the back
I started askin' questions checkin' out the chainsaw rack
they had a test model, I pulled the cord and got it runnin'
turned the blade on the kid workin and blood started gunnin'
"what the fuck am i doing?" I dropped the shit and started crying
I made it down two aisles before some hero clotheslined me
I got up, grabbed a shovel and stabbed him in the gut
I pulled it out and hammered it across the back of his nug
I'm hearing sirens going off, it's no blue light specials
I turned murderer, caving in to daily life pressures
but fuck that now all y'all gonna know me
seein' me of TV, being like "look there go my homie"
I'm more than lonely I'm lost, lives are the cost,
I just beat some bitch in the head, stabbed her twice and took off
they can't find me I'm hidin' in the flannel coat rack
I jump out and attack and put a gash in your neck
I finally made to the front door and to the parking lot
that's when I got shot, a lot, I got got
Police withe bullets and more bullets pluggin' me deep
I'm seeing flashes, hearing screamin; and it;s all over me
I see a crowd of people being held behind the police tape
all watching me die, I think I made no mistake
I finally got some recognition, dying on my knees
ready for hell because compared to my life it should be an ease..
like easy...
cake walk...
I'm ready...
let's go...!!!!!!!!!....DROPING BY 2 SAY HIGH...I HAVE NOBODY..2 TELL ABOUT, MAKING SHURE IM TAKING ALLL OF MY PILLS...IM TRUELY ALONE...!!!!IM SO ALONE MY MIND IS GONE..!!!