Cheater

to the brain of those who prefer it as a game
---------------------

it's the thought it was always there
breaths behind doors, ears against them
cars outside when i wasn't
chestbones expanding against
tongue on you
and skin on you
another pulse inside you

it is fear beginning outside
gluing fingernails to the heart's hands
polished different moods
and a tinier face of my face in the mirror
then a snap
and the things you've always done
and the person you've always been
and the bed you'll always make
slept in all alone always

so what if your storm is strident?
i will dig up a hole in the earth beneath it
that patch
you will never get back

i will soil it deep within
and only the most hateful plants will grow.

Sunset in Sea's

Honest lies or hidden truths
Both are much the same
You told me I have your all
But your all is not with you
It was long ago given away
The all that you now hold
Is but all of nothing
And now nothing is what I hold
Though its shell its more beautiful still
Than azure seas reflecting glowing sun
But like sunsets in seas
Our union was one that cannot truly be
Distance comes between them
If it did not then neither could truly be
The suns fires would burn
The seas waters would smother
You were the sun to my sea
And like the sun
Your fire did not burn just for me

An Open Book


I managed to put aside my pride
Left no truth room to hide and  rot
Instead I opened my book to you
Just to see what that would do

You told me it was all you need
For me to always hold you while you cried
So that's just what I did, reassuring not just you but me
Convinced myself you could not possibly be holding out on me

I wove myself and her into a fiction so inspired
Reality seemed to bend to me
Facts can be ignored, if they don't fit the fairytale
Princes can be toads, a princess can sleep a hundred years

I saw his missed calls on your phone
Just a troll under another bridge
Thought nothing more of it
Thought decency among our common traits

Like the brothers I am Grimm, and a twist is what is always done
You laying in your bed when I called
Smiling hellos and a hasty goodbye

You pushed my buttons but not your phones
His voiced whispered of poison in my apple
Like any prince should I rushed over with a cure
Only to have poison open the door

My heart hammered like a fist to the face
It started to fall like a chair through a window
Lurching as she did when she ran to his aid
And so my heart shattered like a cars windscreen

I wrote the words myself but found I had no control
When reason is nowhere to be seen
And your story writes itself into your flesh
Sometimes it's best to put down the pen

Odium


The cancer of hopelessness in my gut
evaporates surprisingly quick

The band of my tarnished youth
falls off in a glimmer and disappears  

My long lost sanity returns
intoxicated with a vengeance  

Everything is lighter, brighter
the universe finally makes sense

All that is, was, falls into place
as does my fate

While karma's reckoning smiles at me
the daggers of my indifference
distort her face

I stand resolute  
before her naked shame

She visibly crumbles
and I walk away
a free man

Wrung Out


I saw him...with her
Sadness ballooned in my chest
I felt the blood leave my face
I was too weak to speak
From this punch he had delivered
Smacked directly to my middle

Anger overtook me not long after
It boiled flooding my every limb
Loathing his very existence
Treating him like the trash
I believed he was
Surely I could never forgive or forget

I felt wrung out with emotions
Thoughts invaded my brain
As of late there had been debate
Of how I was never there for him
Realizing he was not for me
That we were never meant to be
Understanding paved the way
And peace arrived

Betrayed

I was struck swiftly and directly through the heart
Pain took my breath as I succumbed to the truth
If only you disclosed your true self
I would have disposed of you long ago
How could you have a face of an angel
But the heart of a devil
How dare you betray my devotion
I live for you
No one in this life could ever love you more
You're a fool
You'll soon realize the error of your ways
And begin crawling back to me
But not this time
No, not this time
I know my limits
My heart's capabilities
With clarity and conviction
I know I will love again
But never again will I love you