Poetry competition CLOSED 23rd January 2023 7:13pm
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Delightfully bonkers #7: January

Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 17awards
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 1043

Poetry Contest

who is the craziest?!
Happy New Year, you crazy lot. Here is this month's competition. I'd like to read your silly, funny poems. It's much more fun when nobody knows what the rules are, but the eccentric, illogical, ridiculous, quirky, unbelievable and extraordinary are all welcome here. You could always take a look at the last six Bonkers competitions for inspiration.

Entertain me, and keep it clean please. Craziest wins.

Thought Provoker
England 2awards
Joined 30th Sep 2022
Forum Posts: 63

Rubber Room

I'm stuck inside this villanelle    
( I should've tried a triolet)    
there's no peace in these foreign dells    
I'm stuck inside this villanelle.    
I'm confused now, it's hard to tell...    
a Villanelle or roundelay?    
am I inside a villanelle    
Sonnet or some DAMN triolet!    
Released, free from my villanelle    
( madness can sneak up day by day)    
the stress and strain, a telling bell,    
Release Thyself From Villanehell!    
A little voice inside me yells    
" a habit forming drug, they say"    
am I stuck inside villanelles    
Sonnet or, too far gone to say?    
I'm in a dark and rubber room    
it's peaceful now, my screaming ceased,    
I lie quietly in my womb    
as quiet as the coming tomb.    
My nurse will be coming round soon    
she'll pet and shave my head and tease,    
she says " it's quick in the op's room"    
but will I know her, madness free.
Written by Rew
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Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 17awards
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 1043

I love it!! Great start!

Dangerous Mind
Canada 19awards
Joined 27th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 504

Dear Hero, From Villain

I am not pleased to hear news about your daughter threatening to raise a galactic army against my son, Hades, at daycare today. The time you did it was bad enough, now your daughter swears that she has gotten the synthesized Reapers to cooperate with her! As the oldest and most powerful of the Reapers, I find this unacceptable as it is I who should have supreme control over them; only I! The universe bends to me, and I will not allow a puny organic like your daughter to defeat my superior son.
What can I say? Hayley is following in my footsteps. A mere threat is nothing compared to what you and the other Reapers did during the war. You’ve taken the lives of trillions and now you’re complaining about a little girl who merely recounted tales about her mother’s success? It’s not my fault that your plan to “restore order” failed. I suggest you watch your tongue, or whatever it is you use to talk, before I reconsider my decision about synthesizing with the Reapers. Here’s a tip of the day: learn to lighten up and take a joke as it is.  
Commander Shepard
Written by LunasChild8
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Twisted Dreamer
United States 7awards
Joined 4th May 2022
Forum Posts: 87

The Fields I Farm

"Imagination works; Fancy plays."
-- a poet of Fancy,
in addition to Imagination


The pretty purple picotees and johnny-jump-ups sweet
around the shady trees at Pheasant Farm enjoy a waltz
on leasing summer fair within a gilded gold conceit
accompanied by Fancy and her squirrely somersaults
who leap upon a bough a bow a breeze delightful glides
as instruments of wind in ancient hollows sprightly blow
and picotees and johnnies speaking secrets in asides
embracing in a paradise of iambs whisper low
while opens out a lazy window in a study brown
through which enchantment wings and quicksteps on a choral air
above a rocking chair in rhythm mellow nestling down
inside a cup of coffee by a comfy derričre
before a sweep of rolling hills and lowlands Aquitaine
till yet a twilight swift approaching comes a distant rain.


a dedication of Respect
the foil of the fanciful

a revolving helios rhyme menippean satire on
the poesy of romanticism

january, 2023 -- the Facts of human existence still
most unpopular
with rhymesters
Written by Jordan (D.O.C.)
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Tyrant of Words
Canada 34awards
Joined 30th July 2020
Forum Posts: 654

The wild wild west

It was a crazy day at the Dawggone saloon
For just as Jack Slim pulled the Colt .36 and prepared to shoot
He was disturbed by the sight of the gorgeous
Gezabelle coming down the stairs.

A great opportunity for his opponent,
The famely known Ugly John to be done with his eternal opponent
But just as he aimed the perfect shot with his Colt Pocket '49
A fly entered his left ear, buzzed around
Ugly John flailing his arms and thus shooting wildly
Barely missing Gezabelle
Hitting instead a number of precious whiskey bottles
Behind the bar.

So another opportunity for Slim Jack but as he prepared to shoot
He slipped in a puddle of ugly spit
His shot hit the incoming sheriff on the shoulder
The reply came fast
And thus died Slim Jack in the midst of  tobacco spits and a hail of bullets.
Written by robert43041 (Viking)
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Thought Provoker
Portugal 3awards
Joined 26th May 2022
Forum Posts: 66

Purple Waterbeds

My guru plays lead
with velvet lava lamps.
One blows bubbles
in the blacklights
of psychedelic quaaludes!
Other drops acid with the bummers
of free madness.
Will not some take hard
on purple patterns?

The draft board sings
about paisley bellbottoms.
Silence quivers in soft revolutions.

The music quivers in the agony
of endless summers.
Shall not the sun
light fires in the latitudes
of glorious death?
My cuckoo's humor!
Angels and sailors!

Her thigh dwells in the delight
of green sadness,
As the desert lingers long
on dark laughter.
The stranger dances
to black caravans.
Wake up!

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Tyrant of Words
United States 133awards
Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1583

Your Uber is Here

To make extra money I signed up to be an Uber driver  
So I took my car to get detailed and waxed  
Later that night I would pick up my first customer  
And the person who booked it, his name was Max  
It was a late Saturday night so people are out drinking  
I had to pick up Max over at La Cienega’s restaurant row  
There were a lot of folks up and down the street  
The smell of food seemed to be everywhere I’d go  
When I got to the place I kept looking for this guy Max  
But no one seemed to be looking for my car and make  
So I parked and messaged him saying, “your Uber is here”  
And he replied “would you open the door for me mate”  
I got out of the car but I still didn’t see any body  
Baffled I thought I might be at the wrong block  
“I don’t see you” I said as I looked for this man  
“I’m right here” another message came in “on the sidewalk”  
I thought maybe the man had fallen on the ground  
But when I went to the other side of the car no one is there  
“Are you in front of the Prime Rib place” I asked  
“Yes” the text said but I heard a dog bark too I swear  
“There is no one here expect for a little dog” I texted  
“That’s me” the dog barked then his message came in  
I looked at the dog who was wearing a special collar  
That looked like a mini phone but it was long and thin  
“Is this some kind of joke” I said looking around  
Upset and also concerned of where I’d parked  
“Am I being punk’d, where is the hidden camera?”  
“I can assure you it’s not a joke” Max then barked  
“How is it possible?” I looked at the little dog  
“My owner gave me this special collar as a gift  
I know it may be a little confusing ” Max messaged  
“Now are you still my ride or do I need to call Lyft?”  
“No, no, please sir, won’t you come aboard” I said  
“Would you be so kind as to open the door for me?  
See I have no opposable thumbs” Max added  
“I’ll make sure to leave a good review and a nice tip”  
As I drove I asked Max about his special collar,  
“Did you see the movie Up? Well it’s kind of like that,  
Except my owner is a lady who is a genius inventor  
But I just have be careful I don’t run into a cat”  
I dropped Max off at a Mansion in the Hollywood hills  
In his last bark-message he said “have a good-night sir”  
I drove home thinking I had imagined the whole thing  
But the next morning in the back seat I found some fur
Written by wallyroo92
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Tyrant of Words
United States 10awards
Joined 9th May 2019
Forum Posts: 883

Alcohol On His Breath

i'm not sure if  
writing while
intoxicated should
be banned
whatever your opinion
on the subject
i’m doing it
if I drink
and drive
there is potential for disaster
if I write
and drive
the same
if I drink and write
what’s the worst  
that could happen

explosions of words
lost in dark  
corners of the mind
held hostage by  
literary terrorists
attacked by critics
buzzed by bees
or murder hornets  
by talking ravens
miss spelled words
grammatical transgressions  
religiously romantic political
sci-fi dramatic
thriller poems
hang on
a second
gotta go
i’m being pursued
by alien hit men
hired by the pope and a senator
and now there’s
seven women on my mind
two that want to own me

(C)2021 Raibeart Bruis
Written by Kinkpoet
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Sybille Anne Martin
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 13th July 2022
Forum Posts: 9

Flight of Insanity

In the flight from east to west,
I learned a thing or too about me.
I finally know what suits me best!
To embrace, my original insanity.
There is no shame in my laughter,
I prefer it to the tears of my youth.
Come on, let's all laugh together...
And discover in madness the truth!
Laugh and sing, dance and play,
Life is a carnival every odd day.
Might as well enjoy all the rides!
There is nowhere that we can hide,
From the chaos that is here to stay.
Embrace it; it is never going away!
Order had its' time in the sun,
So now it's time to have some fun.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down...
Jack and Jill both broke their crown.
Where did Mary's lamb run away to?
That's a secret just for me and you!
Life is nothing but a three-ring circus,
Might as well join in the festivities.
When everyone is mad, who to trust?
We all, have our crazy proclivities!
Throw a pie, see if it hits the moon.
Party until doomsday, then swoon...
Frenzy, frenzy, there is no real end!
Little Alice is wonderland's friend.
I've seen what is real, beyond all,
Ashes, ashes, everything must fall.
I'll dress like a ballerina and prance,
Like a princess going to the ball!
I've seen what lies beyond the fence,
Where the mountains are too tall.
On the flight home, I understood,
That I have to be only what I can.
Oh the madness within my mood!
The true insanity of all that I am.
I love it, it is like the feel of silk...
Caressing my soul with softness!
I can only be me, free of any guilt,
An eagle soaring, free of distress.
Oh Kara, I fear I've lost my mind,
But this is hardly, the first time!
This madness is all mine.
Written by Sybil_StarWitch (Sybille Anne Martin)
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Chloe A. Harper-Ashton
Lost Thinker
United States 1awards
Joined 10th Dec 2022
Forum Posts: 14

I Saw a Unicorn!

I swear I saw a unicorn,
When I went outside to play.
It was whiter than a snowflake,
And could talk just like me!
It had a single spiral horn,
That shone as bright as day.
But it would not let me take,
It's pretty horn away!

The unicorn raised such a fuss,
That the fairies came to rescue it.
They acted like I was a monster,
And took it away from me!
They only did what was just,
And off they went, away to flit.
Likely to some plot of theirs stir,
Where a child like me can't see!

But I swear I saw that unicorn,
When I went outside to play.
It was whiter than a snowflake,
And could talk just like me!
It only wanted to keep its' horn,
Because that was just its' way.
So it was okay I could not take,
Its' pretty horn away!
Written by CrazyPrincess_Chlo (Chloe A. Harper-Ashton)
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Kara L. Pythiana-Ashton
Dangerous Mind
United States 65awards
Joined 15th Sep 2011
Forum Posts: 2687

Harlequin Love

- Harlequin Love -

Don’t you think I’m kidding, baby!
I’m not jesting when I talk of love…
Do you want to run in my company?
I’m a harlequin with a white lace glove,
And a fist full of studs if you’re lucky!
I’m not pretending, this is how I dress:
Black and red, in a style I call pretty…
And I am not some damsel in distress.
I’m smiling at what I’ve got in store,
Because I’m a girl who loves mischief!
Oh I’ll have you begging me for more,
So I can steal your heart, like a thief.
I don’t need Cupid to work my art…
In fact I’ll shoot him dead; he’s stupid.
I’ll make you love me from the start,
And make you hang on to all I’ve said.
Some girls are jokers, and I am one,
But I’m serious about my deep desire!
I want to show you, how I have fun…
So we can burn together in love’s fire.

Some people like to play with knives,
Me, I more prefer to play with souls…
I’ll find where your tender spot thrives,
And, I’ll bring you beyond all control.
No queen of hearts could be, so mad!
In my wonderland, you play by rules…
That will either leave you smiling, glad,
Or drive you loony as a pack of fools.
We’ll play a game or two in a garden,
But in my domain the flowers all sing…
Until you’re a prisoner with no warden!
I’ve got you now, time to make it sting.
Love burns sometimes baby, you see,
So if you want to love a girl this insane:
You’d better get used to flying so free.
Though while you fly I’ll hold the chain.
Sorry, but the rabbit hole never ends…
Because baby, you are totally all mine!
Love is a gift that heals and also rends,
But with me, that gift is always sublime.

So let’s dance and prance so chaotic!
We’re free to live in any way we wish.
So let’s kiss and make love so erotic!
Tease me; please me, intense as this…
As the flame in my bosom, all blazing,
Red and black just like my cute attire.
Call me your lover; call me amazing…
And, embrace me, before you expire!
Why so serious when laughter heals?
When life’s too dull, let’s get excited.
Kiss my lips and tell me how it feels,
When I show you Heaven, delighted!
Dance with your harlequin girl today,
The love I offer doesn’t come cheap.
But the love I give is yours to stay…
If you just let it, into your heart seep.
I’ll pierce you sharper than an arrow,
But I’ll be there for you, for all time!
Both in the night and on the morrow,
Loving me is sinful, but never a crime.
Written by Kou_Indigo (Kara L. Pythiana-Ashton)
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Daniel Long
Thought Provoker
United States 6awards
Joined 26th Nov 2018
Forum Posts: 132

Sauce and Ants!

Sorrows stir within.
The funeral retains an aura of raucous silence from our inner cries.
It was more of a sauna, a trance of the sound of rain as I held my rose.
The sun can rest above clouds and care not to show herself to a mortal’s rest.
I look up into the falling rain and hope my prayers shall oust the day star.
There was a moment when all of us thought that we had seen a hand arose from a grave!
What could of roust a soul? Rest!
A score of ants then emerged from beneath the tan coffin lid! The mourning crowd can’t retain their stance!
So, the mourners ran! My aunt raved into a wild rant!
The hand of the corpse drove open the lid, hunched over the side of the coffin,
and out spewed a sauce of vomit and ants!
Written by gothicsurrealism (Daniel Long)
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Guardian of Shadows
United States 84awards
Joined 17th Feb 2013
Forum Posts: 5546

Spam Hunter

I do not like spam, here, at DUP
I see where you cough it up.
You hide it in your profile names,
" About me" section-- tsk, tsk' shame...

I can see "new members" list
and reported messages.
I see click- bait that you post,
I can turn your links to toast.

I know for sure, you aren't a bot
Our sign up checks, make sure you're not.
So that means you must be a prick
Who thinks the rest of us are thick.

Yes, I saw your usernames
mirror imaged, reversed, but same
Multi- accounts birthed to harass
( not to worry, I banned your ass)

So keep on spamming, then you'll see
You'll be leaving DUP before me,
for what you give is what you get--
persistence hasn't paid you, yet...
Written by MadameLavender
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Lost Thinker
Joined 30th Nov 2022
Forum Posts: 4

I'm soft hearted but firm...

My hubby despite our marriage of 20 years
still loves me perfectly,  expertly
both verbally and physically  
Then had come on my scene again
an admirer who created as if a void  
and filled it with his love letters and love poetry.
But whenever an admirer  
creates love's vacuum in my lovelife
that was non existent before
I've always managed to brush it aside
with chastity's vacuum cleaner lol.
Or I sweep it under the rug ,
can't get stuck in the dirt of the flirt😉
Only marital love can sweep me off my feet.

His poetic charm created in me love poetry's chasm
and I tried awhile to be a balm to his obsession's spasm .
Yet my wedlock is a high walled fortress
even if I'm no crowned regal princess
So while my hubby still bills and coos in love
this admirer inked me his billet doux
What a batter,  what a roux!
I'm softhearted but not towards soft porn
Thank God its over, phew!
Written by Lunaah
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