Poetry competition CLOSED 9th July 2022 8:33pm
WINNER
Wafflenose (Ellie)
Wafflenose (Ellie)
Page:
Freak Of Nature Part 4
Fat...so?
The pantagruélique fellow
Woke up in a sweat,
Woke up from the nightmare
In which he was anorexic.
This had to be fixed.
Considering that he was a monk
And for the well-being of his soul
The craziness he had to find a way to debunk,
Find the cause of these woes
And get the problem fixed
Otherwise he'd soon be gone
To hell in a wine barrel.
Perhaps a confession would help
Find the origin of these nightly disturbances.
The Devil was after him, that was certain.
Thus after a copious breakfast he went to see the Abbot.
A pilgrimage was the suggestion, like it or not.
So he set out with a fully packed mule.
After a while, seeing that she worked much too hard
And feeling a slight bit hungry after barely an hour on this trek
He stopped and releaved her of a good chunk
By eating excellent portions of beef and lamb,
Guzzled down with a few cups of good Rosé.
One day the mule would move no more
And neither could he.
The sweltering heat got to him
The pressure on his heart increased
It finally gave way
And he died in a sea of grease.
Woke up in a sweat,
Woke up from the nightmare
In which he was anorexic.
This had to be fixed.
Considering that he was a monk
And for the well-being of his soul
The craziness he had to find a way to debunk,
Find the cause of these woes
And get the problem fixed
Otherwise he'd soon be gone
To hell in a wine barrel.
Perhaps a confession would help
Find the origin of these nightly disturbances.
The Devil was after him, that was certain.
Thus after a copious breakfast he went to see the Abbot.
A pilgrimage was the suggestion, like it or not.
So he set out with a fully packed mule.
After a while, seeing that she worked much too hard
And feeling a slight bit hungry after barely an hour on this trek
He stopped and releaved her of a good chunk
By eating excellent portions of beef and lamb,
Guzzled down with a few cups of good Rosé.
One day the mule would move no more
And neither could he.
The sweltering heat got to him
The pressure on his heart increased
It finally gave way
And he died in a sea of grease.
Written by robert43041
(Viking)
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The Greatest
Your body's whispering from under them sheets
While your Vicky secrets are being discrete
I wanna take a peek but I'm a patient man
So, like a Chessmaster, I'm devising a plan
Take me by the hand and I'll lead the way
Actually, walk ahead of me so I can see your hips sway
I have many ways to play fore I purvey your garden
Causing torrential downpours while your nipples harden
Kissing, flicking and licking your most tender spots
You'll be rising as if levitating while I'm making you hot
I got to take you to a stratosphere that you've never known
While enjoying the melodic tunes of your sexy moan
I'm the lone brotha who's better than any other you've ever had
When you're alone you'll remember and want some more of me bad
A grad who's clad in achievements worthy of a lover's PhD
My epitaph will have the words of Greatest In History
While your Vicky secrets are being discrete
I wanna take a peek but I'm a patient man
So, like a Chessmaster, I'm devising a plan
Take me by the hand and I'll lead the way
Actually, walk ahead of me so I can see your hips sway
I have many ways to play fore I purvey your garden
Causing torrential downpours while your nipples harden
Kissing, flicking and licking your most tender spots
You'll be rising as if levitating while I'm making you hot
I got to take you to a stratosphere that you've never known
While enjoying the melodic tunes of your sexy moan
I'm the lone brotha who's better than any other you've ever had
When you're alone you'll remember and want some more of me bad
A grad who's clad in achievements worthy of a lover's PhD
My epitaph will have the words of Greatest In History
Written by Dine_With_69
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Ophidiophobia
Phobia (noun): an extreme or irrational fear or dread of a particular object or circumstance, to the point where it severely restricts your life.
In horrified fascination,
she would stare
at a school library book
featuring a photograph
depicting 'a mutant two-headed snake'.
Chilling revulsion
and existential angst
blew her 14-year old mind.
One body, two heads, two brains
but lacking language or reasoning:
which mind was in charge,
and how would they move
without tearing themselves asunder?
Her fear was rooted in rationality,
but it was a short journey
from fearful disgust
to undisguised terror.
Aside from the healthy fear of snakebites,
the thing which scares her most is their movement
and anything which moves like them.
Glistening, sinuous muscle
undulating, sidewinding and slithering
in serpentine curves,
punctuated by sudden legless surges.
She knows it's irrational
to overreact to their name;
to feel nauseous at the sight of a picture;
to avert her eyes at the movies
and to scream the place down
if she should catch a glimpse
of a moving snake, however briefly.
A Harry Potter fan,
there are huge chunks of the films
she has never seen
and one moment that caused public panic.
By scrolling past pictures,
avoiding news features
and blocking friends who share photos
of their reptilian companions on social media,
she tries her best
to eliminate them
from her waking hours.
And so
they slither
into her nightmares instead.
In horrified fascination,
she would stare
at a school library book
featuring a photograph
depicting 'a mutant two-headed snake'.
Chilling revulsion
and existential angst
blew her 14-year old mind.
One body, two heads, two brains
but lacking language or reasoning:
which mind was in charge,
and how would they move
without tearing themselves asunder?
Her fear was rooted in rationality,
but it was a short journey
from fearful disgust
to undisguised terror.
Aside from the healthy fear of snakebites,
the thing which scares her most is their movement
and anything which moves like them.
Glistening, sinuous muscle
undulating, sidewinding and slithering
in serpentine curves,
punctuated by sudden legless surges.
She knows it's irrational
to overreact to their name;
to feel nauseous at the sight of a picture;
to avert her eyes at the movies
and to scream the place down
if she should catch a glimpse
of a moving snake, however briefly.
A Harry Potter fan,
there are huge chunks of the films
she has never seen
and one moment that caused public panic.
By scrolling past pictures,
avoiding news features
and blocking friends who share photos
of their reptilian companions on social media,
she tries her best
to eliminate them
from her waking hours.
And so
they slither
into her nightmares instead.
Written by Wafflenose
(Ellie)
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The Contour and Figure
She came to me in the middle of the night,
Undressed and provoking me to no end,
“Take me” she says in all her raw nature,
“Take me and I will be your new best friend.”
“Do with me what you will” she fervently says,
“You can do anything, whatever you want,
Do with me whichever way you please, but please!
Use the right size and a really good font.”
And as I gather my thoughts carefully,
I prepare myself to fill her shape and form,
My fingers then twitch a bit nervously,
When I feel her ready heavy and warm.
And she opens herself exasperated,
Torrentially she flows right into me,
And I like a poor soul drowning and poured,
I swim in titillating mystery.
“Give yourself in, it’s all you desire,
Concentrate harder and finish me quick,”
And I revel in the guilty pleasure,
Looking closely for the words I want to pick.
“Hurry” she tells me “you’ll find the right spot –
Where everything touches and all will make sense,
Don’t be so coy, so delve in and enjoy,
Surrender completely and make it intense.”
And my guilt wilts to a languid memory,
Looking forward to giving her my all,
And I play and I shape, I figuratively break,
The confines and structures of her walls.
She becomes my exclusive creation,
From imagination to paper and pen,
I give her life in these written stanzas,
My thoughts come alive again and again.
She smiles releasing me tender and sweet,
“You did good tonight, you brought it all home”
Then she appears in the verses and rhymes,
In the contour and figure of this poem.
Written by wallyroo92
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Anonymous
Related submission no longer exists.
The winner of this competition and any runners up were decided by public vote.
Thank you to the following members for voting:
S-m-sawyer, lepperochan, Marks, nutbuster, Carnal, wallyroo92, Phantom2426, Honoria, da_poetic-edifier, MadameLavender, monovox128, Deathkitty_134, DanielChristensen, AspergerPoet56, Kinkpoet, runaway-mindtrain
Thank you to the following members for voting:
S-m-sawyer, lepperochan, Marks, nutbuster, Carnal, wallyroo92, Phantom2426, Honoria, da_poetic-edifier, MadameLavender, monovox128, Deathkitty_134, DanielChristensen, AspergerPoet56, Kinkpoet, runaway-mindtrain
