Poetry competition CLOSED 21st June 2021 12:36pm
A public vote has been requested
Go to page:

DEPRESSION

DCLXVI_1989
DCLXVI_1989
Garrett Asa Hughes
Thought Provoker
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 17th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 24

Blank Page

A blank page
More significant than my words
More experienced to what's observed
With deadened nerves

A broken pen
Spilling it's ink within
Thoughts of action met refrained
And now I'm stained

Fractured pencil
Resembling my mental
It always seems the issue
Happiness, i miss you

Where has it gone?
Goodbye, so long
So long ago
Out of control
Whatever for, seems wrong

A deepened sigh
Drawing a breath of life
Into cold blank half-closed eyes
I wonder why
Written by DCLXVI_1989 (Garrett Asa Hughes)
Go To Page  

DCLXVI_1989
DCLXVI_1989
Garrett Asa Hughes
Thought Provoker
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 17th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 24

Disparity in Beauty

I watch despair
Brushing her hair
And I'm intrigued
 
I wonder if she'll notice me
 
Weaving long flowings locks
Inside her cage
And I'm amazed
 
I wonder if she feels the same
 
She turns her head to stare
Her gaze seeks right on through
Invisible to what she knew
 
I wonder if it's true
 
And at last
I'm noticed with a gasp
As we embrace
 
We don't even know our names
 
She'll never let me go
Her head held to my chest
The mess that i believe
 
So hard to breathe
 
Clutching her back
Swaying in dance
The art of the panic attack
 
Feels right on track
 
I watch despair
Knowing she's always there
Unaware
Of my stare
 
Without her care
Written by DCLXVI_1989 (Garrett Asa Hughes)
Go To Page  

_feral
_feral
Thought Provoker
United Kingdom
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 23rd Jan 2021
Forum Posts: 230

on caskets & exits

 



i understand why it happens
speaking from
a guilty as charged perspective;

i can't recall
the last time my mind
didn't picture
my body as a casket
polished
with fancy handles;
how it'd
be the only peaceful moment
in my life,

i couldn't say
how many thoughts such as these
go through
my mind everyday
they bust in,
sit down on my furniture,
put their feet up,
ask me
if i'm putting the kettle on
& tell me
they won't take
long

they lie—

one time
they took too long
i became desperate

that meant
failing to swing
from a tree
using worn
rope

in broad
daylight,


another time
they took too long
i found myself
past yellow lines

at north
greenwich station
counting minutes
waiting for a tube
to arrive

only to be
pulled back
as rails came
screaming,

another time
they took too long
daylight turned
pitch black

i ate my
prescription
like a tube of
smarties

nobody
likes fighting
a grey henry
hoover stuck
inside their
gob,

i understand why it happens
speaking from
a guilty as charged perspective;

i get why people
write it out
bleeding on
a fresh sheet

i'll raise my hand
every damn time
if i have to

because

it was never
about being
right or wrong

it's just
better than
quitting on
yourself,

i just consider
myself one of the lucky ones
who learnt
like everything else
this is all
temporary

even if
i find myself
writing it
out.




Written by _feral
Go To Page  

Grace
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
112awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 15127

DCLXVI_1989 and _feral thank you for your entry.

Gentle
Gentle
Lost Thinker
  profile   poems   message
Joined 2nd June 2020
Forum Posts: 13

You are welcome

poetOftragedy
poetOftragedy
Fire of Insight
South Africa
3awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 13th May 2018
Forum Posts: 74

head above water

Walking around like nothing happened.
Faking a smile at every turn.
Showing a brave face,
When everyone is breaking down around me.
Yet deep inside I'm drowning.
I'm just keeping my head above water.

I've hide away my tears.
Walked across my ocean of fears.
My pain, no one else sees.
I've stood my ground,
I've let everyone find shelter under my wing
What they don't know is,
Under this tough guy act
Under these cleverly painted walls.
I'm cracking apart inside.
Under this bold stance,
I'm drowning deep inside.
My heavy despairing heart is pulling me down.
Dragging around my sinking stone.
But I keep walking around like nothing happened.
Faking a smile at every turn.
The tough guy act.
Yet deep inside i know,
I'm just keeping my head above water.
Written by poetOftragedy
Go To Page  

poetOftragedy
poetOftragedy
Fire of Insight
South Africa
3awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 13th May 2018
Forum Posts: 74

I'm not dead just far from being alive

I'm not dead
Just far from being alive.......
I'm not dead just
Don't know why I'm alive
Nor why I should even remain alive.....
I'm not dead,
 just can't tell the difference anymore.
I'm emotionless, empty,
With no dream nor hope
I have no desire and no reason for laughter,
I can't even lift my hand to try and make an attempt
I just wanna lay in the cold hard ground,and watch as
Everything slowly fades away....
Where there was once love,
Only an empty void occupies that space.
Joy has turned to sadness,
Dreams and hope all shattered.
Reasons and desires all broken.
Should I end it?
Should I try to make everything better?
Would it even matter at all?
How come is the sky and the ground are so far apart?
I could jump and reach the sky and ask God for the reason why I'm alive?
Does it get better, does it all go away?
My own words are my sinking stones.
My hands will one day guide me home.
I'm not dead,
Just far from being alive.
Written by poetOftragedy
Go To Page  

toniscales
toniscales
Lost Girl
Fire of Insight
United States
36awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 16th Dec 2014
Forum Posts: 408

Hi Grace. May we submit short prose?

toniscales
toniscales
Lost Girl
Fire of Insight
United States
36awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 16th Dec 2014
Forum Posts: 408

The Parcel

She felt so alone.

It was time, she knew. Her only child was grown and had a life and family of her own. But everyone else was gone.

She had always suffered from that irrevocable aloneness. It had come with many names, many different diagnoses... A myriad different names for something so ineffable, something so difficult to describe, but something so familiar, a friend who had always been with her when no one else had.

That friend: the constant companion of loneliness, emptiness, a sense of bleakness and difficulty to feel pleasure in daily life. The sliding of tears when others felt joy.

Such strange music. A dance she knew well. The slow hours of a day, the too-piquant drip of afternoon light at the windows.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

Baffling. She didn't look her age, she was still oddly pretty and youthful-looking, some strange trick or deception of the light. Perhaps the excess sleep she committed oftentimes to simply escape the perpetual sense of despair... But still, it didn't matter. It was time. Her very bones felt heavy with weariness and exhaustion.

She lied back in her bed and stared around at her bare apartment. Poverty and sadness went hand in hand, it seemed. And what was she hoping to find? Only silence greeted her, an empty silence, a silence without a voice, without any answers to all the questions that had plagued her during her many years of existence.

It was time to go. She knew she could slip easily into a dreamless sleep, like hands slowly moving over water. Like a song. But this time, she wouldn’t wake up.

No more of that sad, soft dripping of light at the edges of her peripheral vision. No more sighing during the endless day.

No more yearning. No more haunted, visceral longing. That terrible, soft, relentless ache which had exhausted her so, gone.

Gone.

All gone.

Everything was taken care of. Everything was clean, dealt with beforehand.
Everything was ready.

Except for one thing.

One unopened parcel delivered that day lay waiting on her nightstand. The only thing left to take care of. Open it, see what it contained, file it away. Be done with it.

As she would soon, so blessedly, be done with herself.

She reached for the parcel and opened it delicately and cautiously, afraid its contents would somehow deter or alter her plans. It contained a single object: a strange little black book, worn, with gilded edges. A threadbare black strap was wrapped securely around it.

She opened it to the first page.

"Christina, I'm so sorry I was never there for you," she read in what she soon realized was her father's handwriting. "I left you and your mother when you were such a tender age. The guilt of what I did has never left me. You grew up without a father, without someone to guide you. You deserved to have a father figure, and I robbed you of this. On my dying wish, I want you to have this journal, which I kept for you during my later years, and this money. Take it and make some happiness for yourself."

She stared down at the check that was creased and folded between the pages and slowly opened it with her fingertips.

A tear slid from her eye.

As the numbers danced in front of her, for the first time in her life, she felt something akin to hope. She thought of little birds in cages of a rainbow of different colors. Of a myriad things she could do with her hands. She imagined pretty pastel flowers in glass mason jars filled with fairy lights. And furry cats curled up like commas at her feet under beautiful hand stitched quilts.

And instead of sleeping, she put two feet down on the cold hardwood floor, felt warmth and joy infuse her being, and stood up.
Written by toniscales (Lost Girl)
Go To Page  

toniscales
toniscales
Lost Girl
Fire of Insight
United States
36awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 16th Dec 2014
Forum Posts: 408

I wanted to compliment _feral's entry. Beautiful. Thanks.

Grace
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
112awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 15127

toniscales said:Hi Grace. May we submit short prose?
of course

Grace
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
112awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 15127

poetOftragedy and toniscales thank you for your respective entry.

inechoingsilence
inechoingsilence
Thought Provoker
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 17th Apr 2019
Forum Posts: 295

Don't Let Go

In the depths of quietest night  
while the world I know is asleep  
The silence profoundly deep  
I hear you from another galaxy  

Your voice is my clarion call  
begging me not to let you fall  
I silently scream with all I am -
can you hear me across the universe?  

Each moment is forever, so it seems  
Broken heart full of shattered dreams  
You yearn to cease, to disappear,  
to sleep forever, as if never here  
 
Hang on just a little bit longer  
I know you are so much stronger  
then all adversaries in your mind  
Stay with me, please don’t let go  
Just breathe for this second in time  
You did it once, you can do it again  
 
Moments barely change at first  
each second of time exactly the same  
In time, when least expected  
you will heal, truly live once more
Written by inechoingsilence
Go To Page  

inechoingsilence
inechoingsilence
Thought Provoker
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 17th Apr 2019
Forum Posts: 295

Me and Madness

She comes to me suddenly  
I can never anticipate  
only able to respond
after she’s settled awhile
 
She is completely unwelcome  
yet I cannot send her away  
To banish her,I banish myself  
For she my madness  
though I am not hers.  
 
Sometimes I barely sleep  
My mind, uncontrollably  
Arranges words, verses  
fingers stained with ink  
I am merely the conduit  
 
Other times I barely wake  
Days pass, with no difference  
I am clueless to what I did  
Nothing tangible to remind me  
I fly so high, then shatter.  
 
She speaks in riddles  
I understand her perfectly  
Her words are vague, yet  
clear to me, it is enough  
Why can others not keep up?  
 
It took a while to accept  
the frequent visitations  
I am not the madness  
Yet the madness is me
Written by inechoingsilence
Go To Page  

MidlandAngel
MidlandAngel
L Conway
Lost Thinker
United Kingdom
  profile   poems   message
Joined 1st Mar 2020
Forum Posts: 1

Darkness

The darkness that overcame me
still sits on my shoulder
it watches with claws unsheathed
ready to pounce should I falter
I keep it at bay, for now,
but it watches
and it waits
for me to stumble, to fall
then it will sink those
talons sharp, deep,
deep down into my soul
pulling and tearing me apart
but I stay strong
I will not falter,
I won’t,
I can’t,
so there it sits watching and
waiting ……

© L Conway 2021
Written by MidlandAngel (L Conway)
Go To Page  

Go to page:
Go to: