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DEPRESSION

Grace
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
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Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 15118

Poetry Contest

Your take or experience with depression
Depression is real. It can lead to many emotional and physical problems.
Old or new writes but not previous winners
two poems per poet
any length but not a book
refrain from using all caps
no collaborations
no extreme contents

Grace
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
112awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 15118

A Suicide's moment of Clarity †

The darkest hour before the dawn
when spectres, ghosts, spirits and ghouls
walk the grey thin line, moaning

Eyes can see from deepest self
within the sense the third eye
perceive all things, light or darkness

Eyes gazing longingly, lights up high
Hoping for escape from such agony
tortured mind heart body and soul

Drink to invigorate, enjoy the taste
Savour each sip, like butterfly kisses
Love the warmth, like lover's embrace.


-this is not an entry-
Written by Grace (Idryad)
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SweetKittyCat5
SweetKittyCat5
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 5th Sep 2018
Forum Posts: 629

†Suicideís Plight

Suicide  
Unhealthy thoughts taking a free ride † † †
Should I just keep walking by † † †
Or write a poem for someone elseís mind to decide † † †
There are so many people out there † † †
Not caring if they have a last breath to spare † † †
Not having remorse to no longer care † † †

Stress, Life, Hopeless, down on luck † † †
Not having a penny let alone a buck † † †
Youíve had it to the point youíre ripping out your hair † † †
Some peopleís mind freefalling into thin air † † †
A silent battle of the brain within † † †
If I comment suicide no more problems taking me on a major tailspin † † †
I know you are tired, worn out, and yes, from taking it on the chin † † †
Think of a time when your life was soaring and then think again † † †

Think of a time your life was going great, very good as it should † † †
Starting first with memories of your childhood † † †
During those times things were never misunderstood † † †
Now youíre knocking your head against hardwood † † †
Trying to figure it all out † † †
Finding ways to keep your mental status up no doubt † † †

Reminiscences that once stirred your heart † † †
Mental breakdowns from the initial start † † †
Unspoken anger now for the most part † † †
Has the world now cloaked your brain in mental darkness † † †
Allowing no one to reach you, oh, that concept sounds so heartless † † †
We all have walked a mile in tight shoes † † †
Dark storms of the mind from society abuse † † †

Hanging on by a thread hoping no one judges your ruse † † †
However, who gives you that sole right to choose † † †
A word no one likes to comprehend win or lose † † †
God giveth, not for man or woman to taketh away † † †
As your life flashes you by as acting it out on Broadway † † †
SOS, May Day, Wait, I think Iíve changed my mind † † †
Noose has tightened to my neck, blood running from my wrist, sleeping pills have all been washed down † † †

Stomach pumped, oh no † † †
I really really never intended to go † † †
Save me please † † †
The next time I will ask for these thoughts to be removed on my knees † † †
Paddles of life to chest couldnít help † † †
The third time it worked, yelp † † †

As I lay still † † †
No more turmoil to fit this earthly bill † † †
Had I hung in, would this had passed, but still † † †
There was always a tomorrow † † †
Tears from someone elseís eyes at the expense of my sorrow † † †
Iím on my ascending pathway † † †
You will see the understanding of this self-demise revealed to you on Judgment Day † † †
There will be no more words from you to say † † †

When youíre dealing with the mental blues I know itís not my call † † †
I have to pass this insight of this universal protocol † † †
I was ordained and yes, I want my Angel wings † † †
Sent back here to say or do some strange things † † †
All for a great cause † † †
Under Godís universal laws † † †

However, I will never know where you come from † † †
Slow down, letís talk, I may be able to tell you how to channel that raging weather, and then some † † †
This is not a fad, way out, or words to get lost in † † †
Surrendering your last breath is when your life truly begins † † †
You think you are experiencing hell on earth now † † †
Going up against God with the excuse I refuse to give earth my final bow † † †
Trust me you shall reap what you sow upon its disavowal  † † †

No reasons accepted I thought this was my only way out from a mental drought † † †
A shake of Godís head for an eternal lockout † † †
It hurts if only you knew from the soulís earthly remembrance to let it be † † †
At the Pearly Gates begging if only you could see † † †
Do not allow your mind to attempt to unlocked Godís universal mysterious † † †
You canít † † †
Therefore, when youíre feeling down, pray, meditate, or chant † † †

No one wants to come back here † † †
And still adhere † † †
To the same plan you thought for a quick escape † † †
Accepting your fate again on this planet we call earth, denied until you reshape † † †
Trust me thatís not a Heavenly debate † † †
At any rate † † †
You never get those moments in time to backdate † † †

When in doubt, talk it out, take medication if you must to get you through † † †
I know this has been tried and true † † †
Just please keep this angle of view in mind † † †
And allow your thoughts to naturally unwind † † †
Channel your temple and leave the negative energy of your mind behind † † †
Once you close your eyes † † †
No more second chances to understand, the what, when, or the whys † † †
Written by SweetKittyCat5
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Tallen
Tallen
earth_empath
Tyrant of Words
30awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 15th Oct 2018
Forum Posts: 1929

Poignant Solace

You know, I donít think Iíve ever been,
You know, been not alone ----
ever.
I know Iíve, at one time been in
Solace refrain
And perhaps even happy at one timeÖ
It has been so long I can barely remember.

In a crowded room, a family, a school
One can become lonely when
One notices a difference
In the way one is not treated ~
When the family pet gets better love. . .

How many,
how many opportunities have I shunned?
Passed on?
Good-Bye.

It is of no surprise to me that
I am companion-less:
No mate, no wife, no intimate significant other.
When You have already met, Your intimate immortal
then the fucking Reaper steals her away ----
How can i ever FEEL, truly feel again?

Forever, I pine I seek and in searching
I emptied the 357 of every fucking chamber
Into the empty spot in my heart
to fill that awful void
that emptiness that loneliness
and when I awaken from my lifelong
Depression
I see clearly . . .

Death cannot come soon enough.

For in life
I AM ALONE.

Written by Tallen (earth_empath)
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Ljdynamic
Ljdynamic
Fire of Insight
United States
7awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 18th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 115

Portraying

Placed tips  
of index fingers  
linger intently  
at the corners  
of my mouth.  

Deep breath  
taken slowly  
without choice;  
voiceless  
and lifeless.  

Dead eyes  
gazing back  
no one helped  
when I needed,  
conceded living.  

Look at me  
the product  
left from abuse  
self-inflicting  
moreÖ abuse.  

Fingers push up,  
adjust a smile,  
soften the eyes  
only to bring  
them comfort.
Written by Ljdynamic
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PittinixDesigns
PittinixDesigns
Thought Provoker
Jamaica
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 8th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 44

I'll Die With A Broken Heart

Life made sense to me when I felt your touch
I thought you'd stay forever in my arms
You brought me short-lived happiness
I didn't know love before you found me
You took me close to a place like heaven

You were sweeter than a woman could be
Darling, you said that your love would save me,
But instead you came to end my life
Iíll die with a broken heart cos you left me
I canít go on living without the love I had

Every day feels like my last day on earth
A life with prolonged sorrow isn't worth living
I remember you with gratitude and affection
The love I lost weighs heavily on my mind
Darling, Iíll die with a broken heart
Written by PittinixDesigns
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PittinixDesigns
PittinixDesigns
Thought Provoker
Jamaica
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 8th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 44

Make Me Stop Loving Her

For Stacy-Ann
 
The woman I love was seated at the ground floor of the North Stand.
I underwent three years of depression after our affair went wrong.
My heart was throbbing and I was burning to go and tell her Iím sorry.
She briefly spoke to my partner so she definitely knew I was there.
I concealed my misery when I learned that she did not ask after me.
 
She was amid the crowd just a few meters from the playing field.
Even though she was out of sight, I felt her energy in the atmosphere.
I cannot articulate how much I wanted to see her at that moment;
Nevertheless I knew I was not going to show up abruptly at her seat.
I had a feeling that she would not greet me with wide open arms.
 
Considering what happened between us, I did not know how she felt;
Neither did I have the slightest thought that she still loved me.
I seriously felt that I would never stop loving her regardless of the futility.
It took everything I had within me not to go over there and see her,
And my decision to avoid her plunged me back into deep depression.
 
She had been harbouring resentment towards me since we broke up.
And I feared she might get angry and humiliate me in front of the crowd.
It was a very difficult situation and the distress was too much for me,
So I hung my head in shame and left the facility without seeing her.
I regretted that I did not go to her and I cried inside on my way home.
 
Every day I reflect on the sinful but fervent love that we used to share.
My greatest wish came true when I met her in the small classroom.
I said I should love her endlessly the first time she smiled at me.
The touch from her inexperienced hands filled me with emotion.
I appreciated her love and I treasured her more than any other woman.
 
Even though she was a shy virgin and it was her first relationship,
She loved me the best way a virtuous woman could love a man.
I loved her excessively then, and now I still have that same love for her.
The passion brought tears of joy to my eyes when she kissed me,
But I have shed only tears of grief since the day fate separated us.
 
I was so careless that I lost her unique love and it destroyed me;
Nevertheless the thoughts of her continue to obsess my mind.
Why am I unable to forget the love and the happiness she brought me?
She is the object of my affection, the woman I desire most of all.
It seems that nothing on earth can make me stop thinking about her.
 
I am falling apart and I cannot live with this sadness anymore.
O Lord, take away my life if my arms will never embrace her again.
Please take this painful instinct of love from my broken heart,
Do not let me be constantly in love with someone I cannot have.
Make the woman I love come back to me or make me stop loving her.
Written by PittinixDesigns
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Numer90
Numer90
Numer0-un0
Thought Provoker
Nigeria
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Joined 12th Dec 2020
Forum Posts: 60

Alive and Alone

Standing in the pouring rain to wash away stains of my sins all over me..   †  
Night and day I am feeling oddly†this underwhelming odds won't favor me.. † †  
 
No one dwells in my agony† † † †  
Only the demons unleashing on me.. † † † †  
Am now living in a territory † † † †  
Where friends don't know this other side of me.. † † † †  
There's no reason to share company † † † †  
Exercising my vow of silence you don't talk to me.. † † † †  
†† † † †  
Walking around in a state of melancholy.. † † † †  
Life's a bitch and then you die, on my final days living out my darkest fantasy.. † I hate intruders in my own Colony.. † † † †  
† † † † †
I am lumbering and labouring alone, but alive.. † † † †  
Living in apathy†alone, but alive.. † † † †  
No more weapons in my armory †  
I am living alone.. † †  
I am enjoying this solitary.. Alone! † †  
Where nobody needs to know somebody.. † †  
†† †  
No regret nor empathy.. †Alone! † † † †  
Don't know how to laugh or smile..† † †  
Forget how to cry.. † † † †  
Alone ! † † † †  
No remorse nor sympathy.. Alone ! † † † †  
Don't care this is psycopathy.. I am alive.. † †
I gotta eat my pie.. † † † †  
Before waving goodbye to love and harmony..
Written by Numer90 (Numer0-un0)
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Numer90
Numer90
Numer0-un0
Thought Provoker
Nigeria
4awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 12th Dec 2020
Forum Posts: 60

Mama mia..

Intro

Dear God, †
Even if I can't put my feelings into words You know exactly how i feel.. †
  
Dear Lord! Dear Lord! Poor me.. †
I am of service I serve for You.. †
I'll be of service submitting services to You.. †
I am a sinner I have sinned to You.. †
I am a believer.. I believe in You.. †
I am a liar, I lied today.. †
I am a liar, I lied yesterday.. †
I am cheating, I cheat today.. †
I am a cheater i cheat all the day.. †
Am all teary throughout the night.. †
I've been laughing all around during the day.. †
It's all feary my deeds per day.. †
I can't sleep coz it fears me... †
I can't walk coz it follows me.. †
I can't run coz it hunt for me.. †
Nightmare! Nightmares in my dream.. †
It was frying every day in the night.. †
†  
So I keep on calling.. †
Mama mama mia me.. †
Mama mama mia for me.. †
Mama hear me Mama far from me †
Mama cheer me Mama smile for me... †
†  

I am a deceiver I trick per se.. †
But am not a teacher, I learn every day.. †
I am a player, I date all the girls.. †
I am a dater, I date every day.. †
Blind dates one night I stand.. †
Mind games and dirty games with the maid.. †
High gaze i can't lower my gaze.. †
I went so wayward going out of a range.. †
I am so dosed up am losing my sight.. †
Am freezing coz am very cold.. †
Am grieving coz am very sad.. †
Am screaming coz am running mad.. †
Am freaking coz am terrified.. †
Phantoms hunt me in the day.. †
My ghost ride with me every night.. †
Am losing racing with my mind.. †
Nightmare! Nightmares in my dream.. †
Leaving me dreadful everyday before night.. †
†  
I keep on crying.. †
Mama mama mia me.. †
Mama mama mia for me.. †
Mama cover me Mama shower me.. †
Mama come save me Mama demons on me.. †
†  
Dear you Mama.. †
Mama bear me.. †
Oh My Dear God mama zombies on me.. †
†  
I guess I'll keep on crying.... †
Mama mama mia me.. †
Mama mama mia for me.. †
Mama dear me Mama near me.. †
Mama hear me Mama far from me.. †
Mama cover me Mama shower me.. †
Mama oh Mommy mama demons on me.. †
†  
Am so cold mama cover me †  
Am shivering mama cover me.. †
It's soooo hot mama shower me.. †
†  
Am on a transit transit in my dream.. †
Am flying coz am very high.. †
Am landing now am going low.. †
†  
Every time am racing mama race with me.. †
Every time am sitting mama sat with me.. †
Every time am pacing mama pace with me.. †
Every time am standing mama stood with me.. †
†  
Forgive me Mama.. I caused so much pain for you.. †
I love you mama.. Mama dear to me.. †
 
I keep on screaming.. †
Mama tear me Mama wear me.. †
Mama hear me Mama cheer me.. †
Mama poor me Mama care for me †
Mama assist me Mama bear with me †
†  
 
†  
Mama mama mia me... †
Mama! mama mia for me.
Written by Numer90 (Numer0-un0)
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EleazarSwan
EleazarSwan
Lost Thinker
United States
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Joined 11th Nov 2018
Forum Posts: 27

Whole

Every word and every thought
Was mine when all was said and bought
Who knew? that in my own desire  
Your kindled spirit lights that fire  

Who drew me close? Who called you near?  
Who weaps when life would bring you cheer?  
Who knew the empty, sullen train †
Should bring me back to you again?  
'Twas not men  

I knew your words, and know them still  
To fear them not who maim and kill  
For flesh and fragrance in a flash  
Would last a moment's bitter lash  

And on that road when I did weep  
And saw them sow what you did reap  
You told me:  
Woman! Shead thy tears and not for me  
But for the children borne of thee  
For if they kill in this array  
What pain will be on judgement day!  

And so I held your due impart  
Within my soul and in my heart  
The blood I saw, and power felt  
That makes the mind of man to melt  

I knew it not when it would be  
That prophesy would come to me  
Nor to my own, nor neighbors still †
Of when they'd come, like they, to kill  

And still I see and hold it true  
The words that flowed like blood from you  
And oozing from the wounds that bled  
I saw the armies that you led  

I saw you hold my fractured soul  
And witnessed how you make it whole.
Written by EleazarSwan
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Tina2020
Tina2020
Tina Delaney
Lost Thinker
Ireland
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Joined 14th May 2020
Forum Posts: 2

Life goes on

The hands are shook and the prayers are said.
I sit alone here on your bed.
Why you left I'll never know
But some will say God called you home
The hole you left there's no denying
Can't hold back the tears or I can't stop crying
The blood stained sheets still on your bed
Where you raised a pistol to your head
The reason why Iíll never know
The love you lost and so much more
Your wife your kids are now alone
To carry on we have no choice, to never hear you loving voice
The pain I feel you will never know  
Until someday we meet again
Some time from now to see your face
But for now our world must carry on
Must walk the dog and do school run
They say time will heal Im not so sure
To never see you walk through our front door
It's time for me to go now to  
You made your choice to pack it in
Your delt your card and exited the ring
Goodbye for now Iíll write you soon  
Itís all I have your gone for good
Written by Tina2020 (Tina Delaney)
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Kaden_Malis
Kaden_Malis
Kaden Malis
Fire of Insight
United States
4awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 2nd July 2020
Forum Posts: 16

Terminal torture

When I close my eyes
I can see the screaming stars
Threatening to leave the night
Till I'm alone in the suffocating dark

It's terminal torture
Living with dying synapses
Bricks crumble one by one
Till the brain finally collapses

Everything's exposed
But I still breathe
My heart lies crushed on the floor
Yet I don't bleed

I search for my lost soul
I must've dropped it along the way
Asking for help
But everyone just stares or looks away

Was life meant to be
A puzzle impossible to complete
Or did I miss something
Caught a disease that can't be beat

The doctor says to lie back
And just relax
But he's not the one
With all the knives stuck in his back

I just want to know
Why I'm different from everyone else
Why I'm haunted by a burning brain
And why no one can seem to help
Written by Kaden_Malis (Kaden Malis)
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Kaden_Malis
Kaden_Malis
Kaden Malis
Fire of Insight
United States
4awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 2nd July 2020
Forum Posts: 16

Plastic

Plastic smile
On a plastic face
No one can tell
But you know it's fake

Enveloped by covers
No one will see
This waste of space
I have come to be

No more fun
No more games
No more lies
No more pain

I'll just close my eyes
And make you all go away
Written by Kaden_Malis (Kaden Malis)
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Grace
Grace
Idryad
Guardian of Shadows
112awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 15118

SweetKittyCat5, Kaden_Malis, Tina2020, EleazarSwan, Numer90, PittinixDesigns, Ljdynamic and Tallen thank you for your participation.

da_poetic-edifier
da_poetic-edifier
Damon
Fire of Insight
United States
9awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 11th Aug 2016
Forum Posts: 145

Haunted

I'm haunted by the words of a disturbed mind  
A woman seeking peace but could never find  
Cause other things would bind onto her soul  
Escaping its firm grasp was her ultimate goal  
 
Innocence was stole at a tender, young age  
Causing her mind to have fits of rage  
Finding the final page of endless chapters  
Is the conclusion she was chasing after  
 
Faster & faster was the decline of her health
Mental and physical but pixels were in stealth  
Her bundle of wealth entered the scene at 16  
Bringing some joy into a world that's so mean  
 
She nor I ever dreamed that we'd depart  
Leaving several years in an unclaimed cart  
Breaking our hearts; she left me no choice  
Now on Mother's Day, I yearn for her voice  
 
That's no longer a choice afforded either of us  
Cause she's taken a journey on a one-way bus  
Now I must keep on; being torn by her words  
Tethered to my psyche as spilled milk curds
Written by da_poetic-edifier (Damon)
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