NaPo 2021 Stomp the Prompt Comp

Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! Have a mug of ale while RosieGrace and SatinGamgeez work things out before proceeding into Day 22!

T-Minus NINE NINE NINE Days ( EIGHT if you've already posted today ) Fellowshippers! Way to hang!

EPISODE 23/30

"Not with ten-thousand troops could you take on the armies of Moardor," said Lord Doneitbefore. "This is madness."

The truth was an altogether different story. His sons Borrowedverse and Fairlyverse had barely exercised the writing muscles of his soldiers for many years now. Much atrophying had occurred while recycling their greatest hits during Karaoke night until last call in the taverns of Minus Punctual. They were just going through the motions these days. "I will not risk my sons or my soldiers on this fool's errand!"

That, and he had no desire to relinquish his power over the Kingdom. Even now he had his own scouts disguised as Porks searching for the other Fellowshippers with hopes of getting his hands on The One Poem ™.

"They are not your soldiers anymore," declared Ganjosh. "From now on, they answer to the heir of Tolkien!"

"Tolkien shmulkin!" the Steward angrily shouted. "I am the only lawful ruler of the Minus Punctual. You need to prove to me that this Jaragorn is of the Tolkien bloodline. He looks like the son of a milkman to me. And perhaps born on that other continent where that crazy dragon woman turns everyone into charcoal briquets. I doubt he is even a legal citizen of Muddle Earth to begin with."

It was anticipated that the Steward would play the Birther Card, which was why Ganjosh had everyone else combing through the Great Library in the depths of Minus Punctual for Jaragorn's birth certificate.

However, little did they know, Wyrmholler had them locked inside, having instructed his henchmen to bar the library door with a huge Writer's Block! The stone weighed a ton! And it was only a matter of time before they would run out of candles. Then it would be too dark to read anything down there!

Could NaPoWriMo 2021 be in any more jeopardy than this?!

And just exactly how ironic was it that not only had PRadriel misplaced her phial containing the Light of the First Poetry Books, but the only Gloworm in the Fellowship was not present?!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Luckily for Satin Gamgeez, the P'lan Tier he dropped had rolled down the spiral staircase of the decrepid Numeralian tower. It knocked out the entire platoon of Porks about to discover them in a single Strike!

"NaPOW!" cheered the Dark Knight as they stepped over the unconscious minions, who were not Porks at all, but soldiers from Minus Punctual disguised as such!

And when he scooped up the globe, the rest of the Fellowship appeared in it waving to get his attention. They hastily explained that they were trapped in the bowels of Minus Punctual while Ganjosh was being held prisoner in a dungeon.

"Drat!" fumed Lord Donitbefore, who was looking in on his spare P'lan Teir, only to see that his scouts had been foiled. "If I can't have The One Poem ™, then I will simply tell MOAR!ON your exact whereabouts! HA!"

MOAR!ON returned to the conversation after having superglued his globe back together just in time to hear DUGlo ask,

"Should we go to Minus Punctual to help the others?"

"YES!" said the Dark Knight emphatically. "And we are bringing The One Poem ™ with us!" Then he tossed their P'lan Tier out of the nearest window.

"NOOOoooooo . . . !" the Steward could be heard crying.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The Dark Wyrm grabbed his megaphone ( dubbed the Mouth of MOAR!ON ) and commanded all of his minions in Moardor to march towards Minus Punctual. The great Black Gate swung open on its rusty hinges and Muddle Earth trembled with the sound of their footsteps and war drums.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Meanwhile, the Dark Knight, DUGlo, and Satin Gamjeez continued onward with little resistance encountered on the road to Mount Dumb.

It wasn't quite the distraction originally planned upon, but a distraction it was nonetheless!

Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! Only T-Minus EIGHT ( Seven if you've already posted today ) days to go! You're on the final leg of the course, stay with us!

The Director of the Great Library ushers you into Day 23 with a 'Shh!'  If she doesn't, then you have a 24 hour grace period to edit your entry and gain admission!

EPISODE 24/30

The last candle in the Great Library of Minus Punctual flickered its final death throes as they frantically searched for Jaragorn's birth certificate.

"Well, that does it," stated Summdir rather glumly. "The Fellowship has failed. DUGlo will never reach Mount Dumb without being caught. This has all been in vain!"

"We'd have plenty of light if we set fire to some of these books," piped up InNomine.

There were so many gasps from utter shock you would have thought a monster was lurking in the darkness of the Great Library!

"What?!" replied silent_sound. "It's just a bunch of crappy poetry."

"Yeah!" chimed Honoria. "Knowing Steward Doneitbefore and his sons, most of it is likely plagiarized."

"Absolutely NOT!" said Lady Ahavarwen. "Every poem, no matter how badly written, has its potential to become something greater than it was. That includes those written by others that inspire us. That's why we have NaPoWriMo every year - to write whatever comes to mind - and then spend eleven months making it better! Would you instead burn your own NaPo entries before they reach their full potential?!"

"We'll just have to find something else to burn," said Jaragorn.

"I'm certain we could make a bonfire from all the Dwarf hair in here," Lunalass said with a chuckle. "Their armpits alone should provided plenty of kindling."

slipalong yelled, "Nobody shaves a Dwarf! Especially the likes of a pointy eared, smirky faced Elf!" There was a lot of protesting going on.

Somehwere amongst the shelves, Gimlyroo was accosted. "Not the beard!" he shouted. He was accosted again. "THAT's not my beard and definitely not being shaved either!"

CoolDude Merry strummed his ukulele to sooth everyone's nerves, pleading for them to stop. "MOAR!ON wants us to fight among ourselves and quit before NaPoWriMo starts!"

But the Dwarves weren't listening. Snail mail armor clanged as they bumped into each other in the darkness.

There was a thunderous booming crash! Light suddenly flooded the room through a gaping hole in the ceiling. Having narrowly crushed P'Radriel, had she not nimbly sidestepped it, was a huge boulder bearing an imbecilic looking stick figure of a Dwarf crudely carved upon it.

Ganjosh peered down through the hole, declaring, "MOAR!ON's army is attacking! The Steward has abandoned his people! It is up to us to make safe the citadel!"

The first thought that entered Eerowyn's mind was, Ohmygawd! Where did we park the Donkeys this time?!

And the army beyond the stone walls with catapults operated by Giant NaPo'sers had only just begun to lob their insults.

Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! ONLY T-MINUS SEVEN ( SIX IF YOU'VE ALREADY POSTED TODAY ) DAYS left! This challenge has flown, and yet, not! LOL!

If you see a flickering flame you may proceed into Day 24! Congratulations for making it this far! You can do eeet!

EPISODE 25/30

The Ditch King of Humbug, on his Smelly Beast high above the battlefield, strategized while the lobbing of bitter, nasty insults continued with increased frequency. Pork taskmasters whipped the NaPo'sers into a frenzy, sending catapulted shot after shot crashing against the walls of Minus Punctual, shattering the stonework into avalanches of debris. And when MOAR!ON's minions ran low on insults . . .

into the city they launched complaining Crabasses! Armed with huge, pinchy pincers, the creatures scuttled about and grabbed onto everything that wasn't bolted down. They tossed about into the air whatever they could while grumbling,

"This sucks! No, this sucks! This really sucks! Your NaPoWriMo will SUCK!"

What brave citadel soldiers remained under the command of Captains Borrowedverse and Fairlyverse fell to their knees, cowering at their stations.

"We'll never defeat them, Sir!" a soldier cried. "We haven't written any fresh poetry in years! What are your orders?"

The brothers flipped through dusty, ancient tomes liberated from the Great Library, searching for the best poems ever written that they could muster. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anything edgy and hardhitting enough to penetrate the armored Crabasses. So many bland and unoriginal verses recycled throughout the years - why? Why?? WHY?? hadn't they challenged themselves more often?!

"I can't believe we volunteered for this!" exclaimed Thetravelingfairy, throwing aside her axe.

"I agree!" said Misfitpoet89. "We'll never be able to make it all the way through to May with so much burden heaped upon our shoulders!"

An enormous tree came crashing down from the mountainside, crushing one of the Crabasses.

It was Treenuts!

"Have courage, little Dwarves," the woodland giant boomed before punting another Crabass over the wall and out of the Citadel. "You are not alone in this war. The Ents have come to fight along side of you this April, even if this is will be our last March!"

RosieGrace squealed and swooned over what a magnificent specimen of wood he was! [ This line is under review for triggering the EXTREME CONTENT WARNING alert ]

Now that a third army had arrive, the citadel soldiers rose to their feet with renewed bravery. The scales had been tipped in their favor!

Well ... until a host of Wallyrogs descended from the sky ... which was cause for many suits of armor to be soiled on this day.

But within moments, the Wallyrogs were swarmed by a myriad of disgruntled Manmoths who were tired of being MOAR!ON's slaves!

"This shall go down in NaPoWriMo history as The Battle of the Five Armies!" exclaimed Gimlroo as he began jotting down ideas for lyrics to carry him through the thirty days of April.

And it was then that a force of Gobnoblins five thousand strong led by Salamandar the White spilled out into the glade to assist the Ditch King.

"Dammit" cursed Gimlyroo. "Five Six Armies! For gawdsake. Eraseable ink can't be invented soon enough."

If only it had ended at six . . .

Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! ONLY T-MINUS SIX ( FIVE IF YOU'VE ALREADY POSTED TODAY ) DAYS left, and it's time for the final battle!

Looks like EVERYONE has passed their physical! Therefore, if you see the battlefield before you, enter with confidence that you'll succeed!  

Congratulations to all who are braving these final days!

EPISODE 26/30

--- FLASH FORWARD TOWARDS THE END OF APRIL ---

The Dark Knight trudged up the side of Mount Dumb with both Gamgeez and Baggins on his shoulders. DUGlo was weary from the weight of The One Poem ™ dangling from his neckchain. Satin, in an attempt to both carry his friend AND write his NaPo entries at the same time, ended up pulling a hamstring.

"We're almost there, Mister DUGlo!" said Satin with so much sweat pouring into his eyes, he could hardly see what he was looking at. The heat radiating from the volcanic mountain was incredible.

"This place is hotter than a Gorn's crotch," muttered the Dark Knight.

"What's a Gorn?" DUGlo mumbled from a dreary mental haze, but received no answer, for it had been so long since that particular NaPoWriMo that not even the bat-costumed man could quite remember.

They had made excellent time ever since MOAR!ON was tricked into sending his legions away from Moardor, but it was still slow going on foot. Most of April had passed without further incidient. NaPoWriMo was almost finished - provided there was anyone left still writing. Yikes! The Poem needed to be unmade in the molten fires of Dumb - the sooner the better!

I seee yooouuu!, DUGlo could hear the Dark Wyrm saying in his mind.

Only it wasn't in his mind.

They turned around to see MOAR!ON behind them! He was almost twenty feet tall! And he was using his deadly mace as a rock hammer to climb; the granite shattering with each strike of the massive weapon.

I will crush you three into bugsnot! he growled. And then I will reclaim what is rightfully mine!

The mountain rumbled as lava rising from the center of Muddle Earth sloshed about within. The Dark Knight lost his footing and slid back down the mountainside toward MOAR!ON. The end of their part in the Fellowship was rapidly approaching. They were doomed! And ironically, Dumbed!

MOAR!ON was gloating, laughing at the FAIL of his puny adversaries, when Smuggle darted out from behind a rock and pushed him backwards over Duggle who was on his hands and knees behind the awful Dark Wyrm's left foot. Knocking many a boulder loose, the ancient Evil One tumbled down into a ravine and hollered profanities that likewise rocked the landscape.

"Hurry!" cried Smuggle. "We knows where the door is to the inside of the mountain! No time to waste, Sillies!"

And the Frog brothers helped a bewlidered, but thankful Dark Knight to his feet. Were they really helping the Fellowship defeat MOAR!ON ..?

Or was it a ruse to acquire The One Poem ™ for themselves . . .

Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! ONLY T-MINUS FIVE ( FOUR IF YOU'VE ALREADY POSTED TODAY ) DAYS LEFT! You're all amazing and your offerings have been stellar this year!

If Smuggle and Duggle are by your side, you're about to be escorted up the mountain of Day 26!  Congratulations! You're almost there!

EPISODE 27/30

--- FLASH BACKWARD TOWARDS THE END OF MARCH ---

Seven ... eight ... nine armies and counting . . .

If only it were Five! Later in the history books of Muddle Earth, it would come to be known as The Battle of the Five Hundred and Twenty-Nine Armies!

At the request of Summdir, a company of Keebler Elves had marched onto the battlefield while woodland elves arrived, led by Lunalass's aunt, Lorna Doone Luna. They were matched in number by a filthy army of Dwarves, led by Gimlyroo's fifth cousin twice removed, Thorin Spokenspieled.

"How many armies are we up to now?" asked Ganjosh as he sat on a bench in the tower turret, pausing to rub his aching lizard feet. He was seriously getting too old for this $@%&.

PRadriel surveyed the landscape with her 30/30 Elf vision. "Sixteen," she replied. "No, wait ..." An army of Internet Trolls had just lumbered in. "Seventeen."

Yet it didn't stop there. A legion of Moardor Hornets descended from the sky. A slew of Weregerbils rolled out from the forest in their Death Wheel Contraptions. There was a sheet-load of Bedbugs led by Wild Billy from the 5th Ramada Inn Regiment who came face to face with the 4th Battalion of the Bitterness Brigade populated with recently disenchanted rightwinged Moonbats. Whatever you could turn over with a simple shoveling of dirt from the deep underground of Muddle Earth, it made its presence known in large quantities.

And high above the fray were the Nasty Ghoulies on their Smelly Beasts, sailing about through the air in formations straight out of some 1940's Hollywood musical.

The Eye of DUPon became very animated with her Morse Code blinkings, of which John Ronald translated by stamping the floor with his hoof, while Eerowyn did her best to decipher. "He's saying that she's saying ... that the Ditch King of Humbug has a ... Cephalopod ... in his ... ear ..?"

The once upon a time Spiderweb Mistress rolled her eye in exasperation and slowly reblinked what she had said.

"Ahh, sorry" Eerowyn apologized. "The Eye of DUPon says that the Ditch King has a Pea-Pod in his ear! He's air dancing to an MPea3 play list while the rest of the Poemwraiths are following his lead. They are using synchronized flying to communicate to their armies below on how they should attack our forces!"

This was a huge strategic disadvantage for the Fellowship. It was almost midnight of March 31st, soon to April! How would any of them be able to write a poem per day with all of this distracting nonsense going on?! And how would they make this battle last long enough for DUGlo to destroy The One Poem ™ in the fires of Mount Dumb?!

A batch of enormous worms wriggled onto the field, to which Melrond cried, "Oh, hell! We're really fluked now!"

Cool Dude Merry glanced around, realizing that Lord jaragorn and Lady Ahavarwen had slipped away back down the stairs of Minus Punctual. "Where did they go?" he inquired in a panic, temporarily losing his cool.

Did the two NaPoWriMo hosts abandon the Fellowship and everyone else in Muddle Earth to both written and uttered ruination?!

Greetings, Great Fellowshippers! Only T-MINUS FOUR ( THREE IF YOU'VE ALREADY POSTED TODAY ) DAYS TO GO!  Can you see the finish line?! Here's a magnifying glass to help you if you can't!

Visions: Orca World


I see a great and fearsome man
who once swam and now walks
yet has the same jagged teeth
and is of all mortals at the top.

His language remains wailing tones
though now on land as sea
and they have lived many ages ago
as fierce as its lore could be.

When on earth the oceans ruled
and bore great waters wide
the Orcas tail became a tool
that was as sure as his eyes.

The white wizard has created
a new breed to us be fated
and we must hide from its greed
as hungry a predator it will feed.

Beware, the Orcs are monstrous
to guard the treasure you seek
in mountain caves we'll find refuge
Oh, mirror, your waters are deep.


Prompt #29
             

EPISODE 28/30

The battle was ramping up into full swing and not looking good for the free forming poetic peoples of Muddle Earth, when Shmug the great red Dragon arrived on the scene.

"Oh, sheesh!" exclaimed Lady Ahavarwen from here she stood in the tower housing the Public Announcement system of Minus Punctual. "This better fk'n work!"

Jaragorn set the P'Lan Tier globe before the microphone, connected to the Muddle Earthenet, and pulled up his playlist on YouTube.

The city's moondial struck Midnight - it was now April 1st!

"Here goes nothing," he said, clicking the link. Music erupted over the city loudspeakers reaching far throughout the nearby realms.

Monday gonna take a ride
On the N train down to Coney Island
With the money I saved

The Ditch King perked his head up, distracted from his Pea-Pod and unable to hear himself think.

Gonna get me engraved

Concentration interrupted, his flight was out of formation, and he collided with Ted, the nearest Nasty Ghoulie . . .

Drink down a lot of Basil Hayden
Get kicked out when I can't see straight and
What an island to be on

. . .who in turn flew smack dab into Shmug ready to strike . . .

Under the neon

thus the Dragon vomited out a stream of flaming obscenities upon MOAR!ON's multitude of Porks, reducing their armor and weapons to ash, and leaving them reeking of charred bacon bits.

Red dragon tattoo
Is just about on me
I got it for you
So now do you want me

The tide of the battle shifted!

And that's when the Fellowship of the Poem began to write their NaPoWriMo entries as if the fate of Muddle Earth depended upon them. Because ... it really did!

With nothing to prove
Will you be my honey
Oh yeah
In you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
I'm fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you

The Ditch King and his Smelly Beast fell from the sky, landing on the Captain of the Wallyrogs, whose lightning whipped criticism flailed wild and lashed the NaPo'sers off of their feet.

I hear the man say "you want to see the others"
A mermaid and a heart that says mother
But I don't know from maritime

Their unmanned catapults were immediately confiscated by the Cirque du Soiled Flea Circus, who then proceeded to lobster toss Crabasses at Salamandar's Gobnoblins.

The battle was completely out of MOAR!ON's control!

And I never did hard time

As they danced together around the PA system in the high tower, Jaragorn hollered, "It's amazing how inspiring a little music can be when it comes to writing poetry!"

I brought a .38 Special CD collection
Some Bactine to prevent infection
And in case I get queasy

To which Ahavarwen shouted, "I can't hear a freaking word you are saying, but whatever LOL!"

A photo of Easy
Rider
Red dragon tattoo
Is just about on me
I got it for you
So now do you want me

And that's how the rest of the month of April went - none of the Dark Wyrm's minions could stop the flow of freely formed poetry!

With nothing to prove
Will you be my honey
Oh yeah
In you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
I'm fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you

Eerowyn charged into the battle on John Ronald, leading them to victory! Cool Dude Merry jammed along with every song that played over the PA system. Gimlyroo and the Dwarves celebrated by getting warhammered!

Will you stop pretending I've never been born
Now I look a little more like that guy from KorN
If you came a little bit closer
You'd see it isn't painted on
Oh, no, no

Lunalass and the Elves danced merrily with the drunken Dwarves! And Ganjosh the White Lizard watched all the action from the the turret while he composed new forms of poetry that would have made MOAR!ON jealous.

Red dragon tattoo
Is just about on me
I got it for you
So now do you want me

Only Rosie Grace was not so optimistic as she stared off into the east, wrung her hands, and fretted over the fate of her Satin Gamgeez.

With nothing to prove
Will you be my honey
Oh yeah
In you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
I'm fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you

"Come back home safely to us," she said to the wind.

In you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
I'm fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you

But it was near the end of April when Mount Dumb lit up the sky with a fiery explosion!

Celebrations put on hold, everyone was hushed into silence where they stood as reddish light and smoke filled the eastern skyline.

=======================

https://youtu.be/_KCi1z_hOds

https://genius.com/Fountains-of-wayne-red-dragon-tattoo-lyrics

In memory of Adam Schlesinger, who died April 1st, 2020 from complications due to Covid-19.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Schlesinger

Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! O.M.G! ONLY THREE ( TWO if you've already posted today ) DAYS TO GO! Om'a Om'a Om'a! We're so proud of everyone, and your entries have been stellar this year.

This NaPo marks a year since COVID-19 crippled the world. Thusly, we wanted to honor the memory of all those who lost their lives to this horrible virus. Hopefully, with the vaccines, this time next year it will all be behind us.

In the interim, lets take a moment of silence to honor the fallen creatives among us.  

In memory of Adam Schlesinger, who died April 1st, 2020 from complications due to Covid-19.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Schlesinger