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Poetry competition CLOSED 19th March 2021 5:00am
WINNER
AspergerPoet56
View Profile Poems by AspergerPoet56
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The Unerotic Underground 18+ IQs Only

The_Silly_Sibyl
Jack Thomas
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom 2awards
Joined 30th July 2015
Forum Posts: 687

Poetry Contest

Write an unerotic poem
The poem MUST be about sex between two or more consenting adult humans. But it must also be spectacularly unsexy. Winner is the one who contributes the unsexiest poem.

For example:

Two bodies heaving
and falling.
One sweaty
hairy
breast
slaps against its mate.
(Or is it one of yours?)
We fart in loving unison.
The cat throws up in disgust.

anna_grin
ANNAN
Dangerous Mind
15awards
Joined 24th Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 3367

uh i think I’ve got this

anna_grin
ANNAN
Dangerous Mind
15awards
Joined 24th Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 3367

sex

after some
preliminary teasing , which
had become quite same-same

the more at stake the less shameless we are

i took my broken hand and struck it lightly across your face
i was afraid you would falter
you did not
(much)

a boy says he wants one thing when he's alone
with his hand down his pants
hoping to get into yours

with his dick out, he wants to be another man

the trick is to never break your gaze
Written by anna_grin (ANNAN)
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anna_grin
ANNAN
Dangerous Mind
15awards
Joined 24th Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 3367

don't cry, the sex is terrible

you are the grip of a drowning boy

i want to kick your eyes

you are the thrust of a teenage porn addict

you are the wet patch

on my back while i sleep

i hate the sound of your voice

you bore me dumb. you bother me

and you cling like i am a life raft


you are stumbling in the smoking area

trying to relate to the soldier

crying while he spits

i want to drain your eyes,

snip off your tear ducts

Written by anna_grin (ANNAN)
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The_Silly_Sibyl
Jack Thomas
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom 2awards
Joined 30th July 2015
Forum Posts: 687

Thanks for the entries, Anna!

AspergerPoet56
Tyrant of Words
Scotland 32awards
Joined 4th Dec 2018
Forum Posts: 1889

Fumbling Among The Alley Trash

seen through
an alcoholic haze
she almost passed
for human
balls needed emptied

even the hair
on her top lip
her masculinity
was no turn off
my need was greater

when we kissed
could taste tobacco
smell her perfune
au de stale sweat
my favourite

hand slid down
dipping into damp panties
Was it arousal
or had she peed
i didnt care

fumbling
like i was looking
for loose change
i pulled out
a sorry half hard sausage

Pushed her
Down on her knees
said in my most soberest tone
milk it baby
it's full of protien

she chewed
on it for awhile
in true
gentlenanly style
gave her all i had




Written by AspergerPoet56
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gardenlover
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom 23awards
Joined 19th Aug 2012
Forum Posts: 625

Arousal

We married in the virgin state,
We both wished to procreate;
How to do it? I assume;
Plant my seed inside her womb.
 
We had been childhood friends;
But told that nudity offends;
We had never viewed each other bare;
Had never seen her pubic hair.
 
In bed together I must decide
What to do with my bride.
We explored each others flesh
She's delighted and gets fresh
 
Soon we discover how its done
And that it was really fun;
No looking back; from there on;
We're copulating night to dawn
 
Written by gardenlover
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faithmairee
Faith Elizabeth Brigham
Tyrant of Words
United States 12awards
Joined 29th Aug 2012
Forum Posts: 208

almost an affair

 
 
 
if we turn this thing we have
into a sordid love affair
then we may never  
know what we
have missed by never
having kissed or soiled sheets
in rooms we'd just as
soon forget when love
walks out on all fours
Written by faithmairee (Faith Elizabeth Brigham)
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The_Silly_Sibyl
Jack Thomas
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom 2awards
Joined 30th July 2015
Forum Posts: 687

Thanks for the entries, guys!

Razzerleaf
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom 27awards
Joined 15th Sep 2019
Forum Posts: 524

Night clubs, back-alleys and all the wrong reasons

 
The beer-cellar smell of a daytime night club,
sticks to the stale ale carpets and painted purple corners,
dark enough to mask the taint of bleach and vomit.

But at night, the lights writhe in a snake pit of color,
sweat arcs the air like blood splatter patterns,
tunes revolve the room. Head back shot glass harmonics,
burst inhibitions in Prosecco bubbles, before they fall flat.

Outside behind the bins, the exit sign
dims and glows above a drunken clash
of teeth and hips, stricken sailing ships,
split masts wrapped around the midriff.
Below decks the crew blindly follow orders,
shot loaded and fuse set, a single cannon
separates the wrecks.

The forgotten mistake of a dank tiny flat,
clings to the smell of damp washing and nappies,
enough to hide the false smiles of the strangers.
Written by Razzerleaf
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Green_Arrow
Fire of Insight
2awards
Joined 25th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 74

She Felt A Small Something Go Inside Her

She
felt a
small something
go inside her
which made the chick sit
up and see her man with
his face stuffed in the spot that
was in between her legs before
she looked at the scene outside that one
window still open due to rising temps.
Written by Green_Arrow
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poet Anonymous

<< post removed >>
wallyroo92
Tyrant of Words
United States 151awards
Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1830

Testeklees, the Greek God of Odd Balls

 
And so Testeklees, the Greek God of Odd Balls
Decided to throw a party and invited mortals
But this would be the biggest of Bacchanals
As it was sure to corrupt everybody’s morals

He opened the portal with a grand ol’ choral
Humans were happy to pass through the gate
But each and every one had to sign a contract
Guaranteeing that they would fully participate

They walked through the shadier side of Olympus
Until they came to the palace of the Hard Phallus
And upon entering through the great doors
They drank an energy potion from a chalice

As you would expect this made the men erect
The women became so hot, horny and wet
A desire and lust arose amidst frenzied throes
For an epic orgy and one they would never forget

And then entered the squad, a wad of odd gods
But these weren’t the ones they had envisioned
They looked kind of funky and out of shape
Some looked like they’d been decommissioned

While inside the halls the humans heeded the calls
One by a tiny Greek goddess named Abisidia
She was a dirty talker encouraging the men
To lick her and her friend they called Chlamydia

Trying to satisfy the fire between their thighs
The women laid their eyes on the entity Backusella
However they didn’t know if it was female or fun guy
But it was joined by one named Cunninghamella

Then another god who had a disgusting façade
Turned the men into some party hardy trollops
He hypnotized and commanded them to kiss and lick
But this filthy one, they called him Rectus Polyps

The fabulous and villainous Syphillis was there
She was very naughty and had many wild ideas
Making both men and women worship her body
As she was joined by her sexy lover Gonorrhea

The sound of dry heaving filled with deep grieving
Could be heard as the herd rolled in venereal disease
For a second there they thought they saw Hermes
But it was his sick and twisted distant cousin, Herpes

All the while Testeklees told ‘em “suck on these”
Warts and all as the humans were feeling awful
But they drank the potion and signed a contract
And afterward they would enjoy some Blue Waffles
Written by wallyroo92
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AspergerPoet56
Tyrant of Words
Scotland 32awards
Joined 4th Dec 2018
Forum Posts: 1889

well this a complete surprise
looking at other entries didnt thibj i had a chance.

thank you appteciate it

Razzerleaf
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom 27awards
Joined 15th Sep 2019
Forum Posts: 524

Congratulation AspergerPoet56 for being the most unerotic of us all
well done to everyone else so great poems to read, and a big thank you to Silly_Sibyl for managing and coming up with the comp.

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