Poetry competition CLOSED 9th July 2020 3:32pm
WINNER
Miss_Sub (- Missy -)
View Profile Poems by Miss_Sub
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RUNNER-UP: paperstains

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Where Words Fail, Music Speaks

DaisyGrace
DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Thank you for your submissions, Paperstains and Blackwolf!

I’m loving all the entries! Just remember that you need to include a link to your inspiration song for the entry to be valid!

slipalong
slipalong
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom
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Forum Posts: 489

The chain

Got a whiff of strange perfume  
and don't do the things we used to  
gone passion's glow beneath the sheets  
lacked coupling's starch leaves copulation incomplete  
"don't break the chain"  
always a good line to repeat  

As we were bonded in that fetter
the steel we had and O's the letter  
commitments weight mean nothing now  
fall slack or taught the anchor from the bow  
"and if you don't love me now"  
" you will never love me again"  
the base guitar stamp that mainstay  
 
For in the temper of each link  
God sanctified a union, now it's on the brink  
and encompass ties of rapture  
when all I hear are the lies of rupture  
and partings tomorrow never better than today  
as Mick Fleetwood beat the skins on the drums array  
 
Familiarity that breeds contempt  
just sliding fingers on the guitars neck  
when all the cracks that join are so complex  
the whining discord, being left upon the shelf  
"damn the darkness, damn the light" the tremolo that's spent  
put my heart upon my sleeve  
 
"hiding in the shadows" as you leave  
the bands of iron, wrought in hope  
flaked with rust and crying's bleed  
and find the weakest link  
a selfish wish to not break free  
 
"Listen to the darkness down comes the night"  
 a Jezebel, that quiet wish gains energy  
in life not death we must comply or flee  
 cuffs of love all shackled, hold us tight  
the fracture we  could not rehearse  
just an empty stage is the missing verse  
 
 The Chain <https://youtu.be/kBYHwH1Vb-c>  
"----" contain the original words  
 
Written by slipalong
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Strangeways_Rob
Strangeways_Rob
Thought Provoker
Wales
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Breaking Graves With Word Waves

Dear unruly reader
Let me invite you to a fiction barbeque
Grilled verbs,  
Cremated chapter & verse:
Draw your hearse alongside me
Pour a franklin font &
Watch how the colours run.

The fahrenheit is frightening.
Seeking refuge in the kitchen,
Talking post-war Polish prose
With a blushing boy from Ukraine.
 
A girl from Oxford city
Showing her latest tattoo:
WRITE YOURSELF INTO MY DIARY
Over an elbowed Elvis, all shook up.
 
INTERLUDE
 
We walked as pall bearers
In deep sea diving suits,
Breeze birthed ocean smell
Swollen Gods anoint the tidal toil.
Gloating sun waters
Streets supine white.
 
The gates face communities of brick
Grey slate quarried by ploughed hands.  
Yew trees, as Victorian ladies
Pain(t)ed verdure green,
Back boned, strait laced, hollow bark
Branched abacus counts the stoned skulls
They belong to the seasons now:
With the loves and hates
And passions just like mine.

Fraught shadow seals
The west side,
Story upon soil storey
Of expired breaths.
 
Here lies William John McGraw (died 1768).
His tale never to be told
Held by the breeze weaving
Threads thru’ cobwebs
Upon his grave.
 
On a marble bench
Next to a flask armed
Old lady eating sandwiches,
Tattooed girl shares
Her note booked poetry.
Swings shoe laces to lasso beat
Jumps into pages as Ophelia on ecstasy,
Cracks the rhyme of ‘bliss’ and ‘abyss’
Whips ‘Jesus’ and ‘double decker bus.’
 
“Here are some lines I wrote on
Morning of Lady Di’s funeral.”
We knew they had been stolen  
From some dizzy whore, 1804.
The old lady fed bread to pigeons.
 
From Hollywood to Hiroshima
Holocaust to Hate crime,
We are a people of ruin
Let the rain fall as rubble.
 
I promise,
When there is
Nothing left to
Care for anymore,
The door will close behind me.
We’ll meet at the cemetery gates
And speak the words we left unwritten.
Breathing farewell in our arms.
 
 
https://youtu.be/MYtdJX0tLbQ
 
Song. Cemetry Gates (deliberate misspelling). The Smiths.
 
Pic. Morrissey at Oscar Wilde’s tomb, Pčre Lachaise Cemetery, Paris
 
Words from song = italicised
Written by Strangeways_Rob
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DaisyGrace
DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Thank you for your entries slipalong and Strangeways_Rob! I appreciate them.

We're a week out from finishing this comp! Get those entries in.

And remember, you have to include a link to your inspiration song (either here in the forum or somewhere on your page) for your entry to count.

summultima
summultima
uma
Dangerous Mind
India
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Joined 3rd Feb 2012
Forum Posts: 1240

-del-

summultima
summultima
uma
Dangerous Mind
India
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Joined 3rd Feb 2012
Forum Posts: 1240

-del-

buddydog
buddydog
buddydog H Faulk III
Thought Provoker
United States
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Joined 5th May 2015
Forum Posts: 82

Wednesday

I heard that conductor calling
Calling all aboard
I swore I wouldn't buy ticket
I'm on these tracks again
She wasn't just a woman
She was my best friend

Yesterday all my problems seem so far away
Only to have them back today
I don't know where I am
I want things the way they once were
Oh train take me back to her

Sittin' here at the station
There’s no need to pretend
I see the caboose could this be the end
I feel that wind stirring inside
I hear that conductor saying let's take a ride

I'll walk along these tracks
Someday I'll make my way back
Wednesday blew in
And I'm missing her again ...

Wednesday blew in
And I'm missing her again
Rode this train, straight down the line
Reflection of a person that I can't find
Yesterday's Gone like an old Skynyrd song
Wednesday blew in and my baby gone
Written by buddydog (buddydog H Faulk III)
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buddydog
buddydog
buddydog H Faulk III
Thought Provoker
United States
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Joined 5th May 2015
Forum Posts: 82

Wednesday

I heard that conductor calling
Calling all aboard
I swore I wouldn't buy ticket
I'm on these tracks again
She wasn't just a woman
She was my best friend

Yesterday all my problems seem so far away
Only to have them back today
I don't know where I am
I want things the way they once were
Oh train take me back to her

Sittin' here at the station
There’s no need to pretend
I see the caboose could this be the end
I feel that wind stirring inside
I hear that conductor saying let's take a ride

I'll walk along these tracks
Someday I'll make my way back
Wednesday blew in
And I'm missing her again ...

Wednesday blew in
And I'm missing her again
Rode this train, straight down the line
Reflection of a person that I can't find
Yesterday's Gone like an old Skynyrd song
Wednesday blew in and my baby gone
Written by buddydog (buddydog H Faulk III)
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DaisyGrace
DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 29th Mar 2017
Forum Posts: 874

Thanks so much for all the entries! Just a few days left, so if you’ve been thinking about this comp, let’s see those poems!

DaisyGrace
DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 29th Mar 2017
Forum Posts: 874

One more day poets and music lovers!

socksscareme
socksscareme
Socks
Fire of Insight
Ireland
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Joined 26th Jan 2019
Forum Posts: 199

Kiss Kiss Wish

Why can't we be like Robert Smith, just close our eyes and kiss kiss kiss, two love cats in the afternoon, oh why can't I be with you?    
 
It's Friday and I'm in love, with all the little things you do, you're just like heaven, taking off, oh you're my favourite song.    
   
I just want you close to me, pictures of you just won't do, another day at the end of the world, that's all I ask, one more twirl.  
Written by socksscareme (Socks)
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Italics are various song titles by The Cure but the first album I heard and fell in love with was Wish, so I've lent it to the title.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKujvFM_bF2e8m8SQu8RS2lZZYTLzccf3

DaisyGrace
DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 29th Mar 2017
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Thanks so much for all your entries! I will take a few days to look over everything and write up some feedback for each of you before I award the winner. So please be patient with me!

DaisyGrace
DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 29th Mar 2017
Forum Posts: 874

First off, thanks for all the entries!!!! I loved them and all the songs have now been added to my playlist. Which is exactly what I needed!

Second, thanks for being patient with me! I had a crazy weekend and didn't get through these as quick as i would have liked.

Thirdly, WELL DONE EVERYONE!!!

Missy winner winner chicken dinner – this is downright heartbreaking and lovely and melancholy and…well, I could keep going with all the adjectives until I’m damn blue in the face. My favorite bit is the section in the middle about the shoes. Such an unexpected, simple thing to include that just says so much. Well done! I’d love to hear you read it at some point, should you feel so inclined. Also, very happy to find this song! Enjoyed it muchly!

Anvillan – Leonard Cohen is one of my very favorite artists. It’s easy to see his influence in both these pieces. I wonder how many people in the entirety of the world have felt that last stanza of your first piece (Everybody Knows)? Thanks for bringing those two songs back into my music rotation. It had been far too long since I’d listened to them.

Eerie – I get this. I soooooooo get this. That feeling of KNOWING you’ve been detached for too long and needing to reattach, but finding that notion entirely…well, you just don’t want to do it. I love that you call it a bastard notion. Because it is. And Days of the New! It has been far too long since I’ve listened to them. So thanks for adding a great song to my playlist!

BuddyDog – I’m not sure what song you’re first piece is inspired by since you didn’t provide a link, but it reminds me of That Summer by Garth Brooks. Both pieces express some hard, deep longing and you do that well. That Skynard song! I’m not a huge fan of theirs, but I appreciate very much what they contributed to music. I hadn’t heard this song. Or if I have, it’s been tucked away and forgotten. Thanks for adding it to the table for me!

Wally – I had never heard this song or artist! And I’ve very glad to have them in my rotation now. Thank you! Your piece paints a picture of loss and while I won’t say I enjoyed it (because who actually enjoys poems like this), I will say that I appreciate the restraint and heart you show in this write. Well done.

Paperstains runner-up look her up! – Fuck! (Can I say that here? Hell, It’s my competition I can say what I want!) FUCK! The lust in this set my screen on fire every single time I read it. From the title to the very last word I was all the way the fuck in. I’ll be going back and adding this to my reading list so I can revisit again and again. I’ve always been a casual NIN fans, but had never really heard this one. So thanks for bringing that to my attention.

Blackwolf – That song was incredible! Thanks for bringing that one to my attention. It is easy to see how your poem was influenced by the song. It has the same…in your face, but also slightly disjointed feeling. Well done on producing something like that.

Slipalong – Fleetwood Mac will always hold a special place in my heart. While this piece is inspired by The Chain, it almost feels like it is inspired by the entire band. I can see Stevie whirling, Lindsey sliding his hands up and down the guitar neck. Well done.

Strangeways_Rob – I was not aware of this song so thanks for bringing it up! There is much in this poem to enjoy and like, but that last stanza is just gorgeous. Well done. I also love the clever wordplay in the beginning before the interlude.

Uma – I have always loved how you write. Your first piece feels just like the video. Well done on accomplishing that. Your second piece (Point Zero) has some lovely imagery in it. I love the bit about rosewood and golden artifacts. Such good language!

Socks – This is a delightful little piece. And I don’t say little to demean it in any sense. Just a comment on the length! I love The Cure and this is a clever piece obviously inspired by them. I love that last stanza. Especially the “one more twirl” bit. Well Done!

It was neck and neck between Missy and Paperstains! Well done both of you! I would give my left testicle for you both to read them! (ok. so i don't have testicles, but i'd love for you both to consider reading them. it would be fantastic!)

Well done, everyone!

Miss_Sub
Miss_Sub
- Missy -
Tyrant of Words
United Kingdom
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Forum Posts: 9239

Blimey. Two wins in a day. Is mercury in retrograde or some shit? 😂

Super stoked to take the win on this and I agree, Paperstains is incredibubble. Thanks for the feedback on this. I’ll get back to you about the reading... might be a bit hard emotionally but I’ll see what I can do lol.

Thanks all!

paperstains
paperstains
Thought Provoker
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Forum Posts: 57

Congrats, Missy! I had a feeling your poem would be taking this one. It's so good!

Thanks for the runner-up nod, Daisy. It's flattering to know it was a close decision, knowing it was up against Missy's. I've considered reading this one, so I know what I'd want from it. The challenge is getting it there. Thanks again

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