The Poetry of Piracy

Six years a'for the mast and clews lay limp and slack    
the night, dark as Jamaican rum- tot tossed back    
and pirate stars the stolen jewels, a bounty's haversack    
   
Portent of the albatross and hush cast overall    
the ocean calm so quiet,  bore no sign of squall    
borne deep upon the bed the chasm opened vault    
   
 Neptune waved the trident a liquid cliff emerged    
not storm and tempest, the township must be purged    
to sweep away the infidel would take a mighty surge    
   
 Men'o War were anchored safe, tethered to the quay    
sailors wenching in a bawdy drinking spree    
the cold chill raked, 'or the shore, and 'or the lea    
   
Debauchery in inns and brothels, held such sport    
that cup so full, for each favor could be bought    
the sword of Damocles that hung, and no one saw    
   
 Pirates were tossed awake, tipped from slumbers bunk    
and they cussed and staggered like half drunk    
as the fathoms rose and gathered in a mighty hump    
   
As it chased the night, built its speed, built it's height    
and came upon the port with all its might    
and swamp the  town that never was contrite    
   
The pirates heard the screams, darken pitch it culled    
and few were spared, as the briny all engulfed    
and chaos laid its hand, all hell was the result    
   
And C'ptn  Blythe smiled with blackened teeth    
a golden opportunity, now the prize to seize    
 headed for the port, was so great his greed    
   
Bounty for us all awaits, he raged    
their powders wet, we have the fighting edge    
 whilst devastation and confusion all pervade    
   
Upon the swell they neared upon the coast    
the bounty out to them did float    
the grappling hook not the cannons smoke    
   
Rings and jewels on corpses hung    
barrels of brandy, barrels of rum      
high tide of good fortune for black hearted scum    
   
   
   
   
   
   
 

 
Ahoy all ye scallywags and scurby landlubbers
I be searchin’ fer a wench who knows how t’ swab me deck
So land ho she can’t be no skank or else walk off me plank
I wants t’ shower a beauty in me booty up to her neck

Avast! I found her - this bird sets me cannons to fire
She’s o’er thar sittin’ on top of that barrel drum
Ah look at that me lads I’ve never seen or had a dream
A strumpet who knows how t’ drink and handle her rum

I’ve looted ‘n pillaged nigh-on every island ‘n village
But I 'ave ne'er found such a cute a maiden as this
She'll be me treasure 'n prolly me new found pleasure
She can send shivers up me timber wit’ just one kiss

I won’t contend I’m already three sheets to th’ wind
This rum has given me some courage t’ natter t’ her
This lass has plenty of booty to plunder her goodies
But she’s jus' th' kind o' siren I’ve been a lookin' fer

Drink up me harties ‘n enjoy this swashbucklin’ party
Watch as I sweet talk her 'n sweep her off her feet
She be like th' kind o' gal t' boost up me morale
And I’ll be a bettin’ I’ll be a gettin’ a little treat

“Ye shut your mouth or I’ll ‘ave yer hide” she said
“I be a decent maid ‘cause I be tired of ye crooks,
Lots o’ ye sailors come in ‘n try to git me t’ bed
But if ye don't listen t' me then put up yer dukes”

I’ll mind me manners if ye excuse me grammar
But a seadog like me has ne'er seen th' likes o' ye
So pardon me miss but I’ll romance ye fer a kiss
'Cause I reckon I 'ave fallen in love wit' ye

“Don’t try to trick me ye pirate or I’ll get mighty irate
Tonight ye say this 'n tomorrow ye’re off t' sea
So if ye really wants t' owns it better put a rin' on it
'Cause if ye ever leave me I get half o' yer booty”

That’s how I came t’ be married, horny ‘n hurried
Like th' buried treasure I once discover’d in days o' ole
Turns out she loved th’ log so she gave me ten sprogs
All ‘cause I wanted t’ give her me long john silver ‘n gold