Poetry competition CLOSED 15th March 2020 9:00pm
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Jingle Tingle

poet Anonymous

Durkin's Gherkins

They're a sweet and spicy gherkin
Brought to you by Rex Durkin
The man who made the secret recipe  
The best flavour by far
Eat ‘em straight out of the jar
The World’s greatest pickle, You’ll agree
So when you want a tasty treat
Something really nice to eat  
Durkin’s Gherkins are what you’re lookin’ for
Durkin’s Gherkins are divine
A sure winner every time
Find 'em now at your favourite grocery store
The World’s greatest pickle, say no more!  
poet Anonymous

The Captains of Fun at deepundergroundpoetry.com

poet Anonymous

Sing a song of Taj Mahal

Sing a song of Tajmahal    
a fine nazm or a ghazal  
Of this landmark for lovers  
Ah, a lover's edifice    
Complete with medieval bowers    
It's a Mecca for tourists!    
Tis sensational, tis exceptional    
tis truly a touristy place.    
Watch the shimmer of its magnificent marbled dome    
Moonlight or sunlight, it glimmers of imperial chrome    
It's ironical then    
that though Indian-Arabian I am    
I haven't yet been to this touristy place    
It is truly as they must say, a lover's shrine    
a place where hearts duly incline    
They find it steamy    
I find it dreamy    
Oh, I've got to see for myself this touristy place.    
Each of the marbled minarets    
conceal such romantic secrets    
for lovers to silently explore    
to admire and to adore    
A place human lovebirds couldn't ignore.    
Ah you've got to visit this touristy place!    
Two famed lovers lie in the legendary vault below    
and the stream too it has a romantic flow    
It's a lovers haven and paradise on earth    
Even dead passions there undergo a rebirth    
Ah, rekindle my love for you in this touristy place!    
Extol I may this awesome imposing edifice    
A greed for pure love is perhaps better than avarice    
Löng live the legend of Shah jahan and Mumtaz mahal    
Long live love and love like a Moghul    
so forever we have this monumental grace!    
Yeah take me my luv to this touristy place!    
poet Anonymous



I’ve crossed the road and down the street
I’m white and dark juicy meat.
I can be crispy and full of spice
But original is always nice.
Let your hunger be your guide
To try a tempting tasty side.
Together we shall truly see
Why so much tries to taste like me.
poet Anonymous

P B & J 🥪

( a Quatern jingle )
It sticks to the roof of your mouth,
We bet you love what that can do.
The EU, the States, check it out,
It’s all the rage, healthy & new.
Creamy, chunky and jelly-swirled,
It sticks to the roof of your mouth.
There’s nothing like it in the world,
With a peanut taste from the south.
Hey SKIPPY & JIF, what up now?
On a shelf, never out of stock.
It sticks to the roof of your mouth;
With PETER PAN, cookies will rock.
Imagine if we come today
To leave Reece’s Cups thru’ the house.
And the Classic PB & J,
It sticks to the roof of your mouth!
poet Anonymous


I travelled from home to IKEA
to buy all my home-making gear
though all was flat-packed
t'was helped by the fact
instructions were ever so clear.

poet Anonymous

Stings Like Fire

(To the tune of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire, of course)  

Butt, when it’s a hurting thing
And it aches while crapping,  
Your situation is dire  
Because it stings like fire,  
You can’t sit down down down when its making you perspire,  
And it hurts hurts hurts because it stings like fire, it stings like fire  
Preparation H is rapid relief hemorrhoid treatment cream that can help ease the itching and burning.  
It reduces swelling and provides a soothing feeling with a protective layer to help you make it through the day)
To sit and or even go bike riding,  
It’s a precious thing,  
But when you feel desire,  
Don’t touch, because it stings like fire.  
Check for brown brown brown in your drawers or you’ll grow big with ire,  
Make sure there’s no blood blood blood or else you’ll go haywire, you’ll go haywire.  
Do not take preparation H if you are already using other creams like Tucks, Fissure Control, Forces of Nature,  
Butt-How Relief, Avoid Rhoids, Anallabia Ease, Hemoshart Stop, Poop Recoup or Itchy Barnacle Balm).  
Rump, it’s a delicate thing,  
Careful when it’s happening,  
You don’t have to a crier,  
If you feel your butt’s on fire.  
Go around ‘round ‘round to the drugstore and inquire,  
You’re going to learn learn learn how to stop that fire, when it stings like fire.  
Symptoms may include polyps, pink eye, stink eye, stink finger, anal seepage, gout, pimp limping, pimp slapping, unexplainable need for crying, voting Republican, reading 50 Shades of Gray, strokes and heart attacks. Consult your doctor before using.)
Because it stings like fire, it stings like fire.       
poet Anonymous

Coke Galore

Coke Coke Coke
The best thing in this universe
of course, what else can help
quench your thirst better than
the solution of sweet and more?
I have nothing but amor for this pour.
Here I go to sit down and enjoy a nice
refreshing bottle of woke. Whoa!

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