Heartbreak, depression, anger and all that good stuff

Keep Love’s Candle Burning

Someone has left you there all alone
doesn’t even bother to pick up the phone.
No more cosy evenings in any more
and no one to welcome you at your door.
But you can find a way to get through
so don’t let love’s candle burn out on you.

It’s hard to face the future with a broken heart
but you’ll move on when you’re ready to start.
Life will slowly get better, as time goes by
and you can get through this, you just have to try
You can find love again, you know that it’s true
so don’t let love’s candle burn out on you.

I know sometimes you just want to sit down and cry
thinking no one understands how you feel and why.
We all know you have a lot of love to share
and there will be someone for you out there.
So we’ll all just keep on loving you like we do
but don’t let love’s candle burn out on you.

"I am only bones here"
He said  
Through clinched teeth that rattled loud percussion    
A knock and groan escaped alabaster jaw with each sad syllable uttered  
And created in whine and four four time    
My new ache and heartbeat  
   
His kind of skinny you might imagine  
Hanging in angles beneath hollow eyes    
That stared out with haunting apathy  
Through the ironworks of Auschwitz    
Seeing oblivion in their segregate from humanity    
   
There was similar distance  between the World at large  
Its conscience and collective heart  
And his dark soul    
   
I longed to heal him  
To fatten his skeletal state of lost self  
With tender morsals of soft touch  
Attempted to chart him a better destiny  
A steller map of loving fate    
That shined  by his reflection held  
In the gleam of my eye  
   
But the futility of it all settled on my aspect    
And i learned to mourn the dying  
As i stared into the black  sockets  
That were once the hopeful eyes    
Of man

Sunday mornings are the hardest.
  
Like today. I was doing fine. I got my own coffee going-albeit lacking the French touch you would bring.  
Hit play on that Acoustic Sunday Mornings mix.    
Lit a fire in the chimney—same one we always meant to get swept  
when we were we.  
   
I stepped out under the crisp winter air to scoop up the New York Times—  
I still think of you    every    single     time.  
One hundred Sundays and counting  
of a little bend and break.  
   
As I always did (remember?), I first gravitate towards the magazine, seeking inspiration from this week’s poet.    
First page opened reveals a happy couple.    
Dressed like us.  Traveling like us.  
   
‘Unexpected Italy’ it heralds, along with a less unexpected longing in my womb.  
The same one you used to inhabit.  
The very space you failed to hold sacred.  
   
On morns like this, I mourn the (al)most.  
   
R.

the emptiness is like a rainstorm  
it violently pours down
soaking my clothes  
chilling me to the bone
 
the emptiness is like a dark night
desolate streets
with one lamp post flicking  
illuminating vacant pavement  
 
the emptiness is like a cage  
trapping me in my own torment
i stick my arm through the bars  
clawing for freedom
 
the emptiness is like nothing
it’s the absence  
it’s the unnatural loneliness  
it’s the null thudding
 
it’s the quiver in my voice  
it’s the voidness behind my eyes
it’s painted behind my smile
it’s the truth in all the lies

human kind - be both
There was another suicide

Gossip flew the other day

Heartaches created by pride

Lives are shattered this way

In a moment of desperation

Thoughts at last are selfish

Anguish turned to devastation

Leaving others to wish

They had or had not said

What could they have done?

Different now one is dead

Guilt falls down on one

The struggle to live

A new life begins

Learning to forgive

Only the blameless wins

Many people want to die

Or do not care if they do

The flesh is weak it will lie

The spirit calls to you

Trust will take a long time

Listen quietly to the still small voice

Then begin the awesome climb

From darkness to light we have a choice

I feel abandoned and
misunderstood at times.
Nothing but an honest heart,
as I sit down to write these rhymes.
Opening up to release these burdens, the ones that have left a stain.
Before the sadness turns me to stone, I need something to dull this deep pain.

The stress of this life is getting too real, my words can't even set me free.
I used to think I was so strong.
stronger than these demons that haunt me.
Each day is a struggle to carry on,
the pressure is getting harder to bare.
The weight of the world on my shoulders,no end in sight , it's not fair.

In the past I scattered my damaged emotions, like ashes of wisdom on the paper to heal.
Now I just avoid writing,
so I don't have to face how I feel.
Always feeling like some part of me is missing, a hole in my chest where the bullet shot straight through.
just trying to ignore the damage,
afraid of what feeling the hurt might do.

I try so hard to have faith and hope; they say "God won't give you more than you can take."
So why won't this madness stop invading my soul, I've been through enough for heavens sake.
Is this how my life ends,
ls this my final call?
I always imagined a fairytale,
well that's not my life at all.

I Can see myself going under, drowning in my own tears.
No one is rushing to save me, thats one of my biggest fears.
My days are suffocating, I can't breathe, I'm hanging on but just by a thread.
I pray this devastating depression will lift, so I can have peace when I lay down my head.

(i)
The safety razor is now unsafe
Blood and evil spills from cuts
A short respite from the misery

(ii)
I reopen old wounds cutting scars
Recarving your initials on my arm
Pointless - you are never coming back

(iii)
Despite this realisation a flame burns
Despite the truth, I am undone
Despite the isolation, I still cut

(iv)
It's in love that I cut
A razored tattoo tribute to you
Despite the fact, you don't care

(v)
One who is practised in cutting
Is only a few steps away
From making the ultimate razored sacrifice

(vi)
I consider suicide by bleeding out
So far no quite brave enough
However, practice leads to ultimate perfection

(vii)
Question: Who will attend my funeral
Who will weep at the gravesite
The one that I love: Missing

(viii)
A deep forest is my place
I will become one with nature
I will bleed out tree hugging

(ix)
My blood will feed an Oak
My spirit will meld with it
Tree's spirit and I are one

(x)
Crows, vultures, owls, and forest creatures
Will gain sustenance from my flesh
They will taste real love devouring

(xi)
I sacrifice this love I have
Such a pure love rejected wholeheartedly
By somebody that should've known better

(xii)
May my bones, now picked clean
Pay a tribute to real love
Never once experienced but freely given

(xiii)
Being so alone in the darkness
No one to hold or love
A matter of time death sentence

(xiv)
Despite what I try to manifest
I've only a few loving friends
Hope they'll understand it wasn't enough

(xv)
The safety razor broken for you
Drink my blood eat my flesh
Do this in remembrance of me

Falling.....
The letter she left was read
Falling.....
Purposely left on the bed
Falling.....
My soul mourned over what was said
Falling.....
My casket envisioned, my life is dead
Falling.....
Her lustful affairs swim around my head
Falling.....
Tear ducts run swollen as they bled
Falling.....
Why she didn't just tell me instead
Falling.....
My heart torn out, with shrieks to shred
Falling.....
She coerced me straight to her thread
Falling.....
A pot full of false utopia was fed
Falling.....
My flesh cinders her memories with dread
Falling.....
How could I have been so misled
Falling.....
My blouse now dripping wet with red
Falling.....
The keeper's scythe, my shell was lead
Falling.....
Falling.....
Falling..............................................

I can resist
the fear of love
pent up
ave restlessness like moths,

enlightening me
with stains
of non-being
despite my dreams.

the loss drags on
with quaint wings
of fleshless flies,

quavered echoes
wincing and cringing
day and night

flaunts concealment;
shaded tears
shedding surprises.

the persistence of love is ours
to lose. what makes you think
I want to share
the heartache too?

bydk 08/24/19