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Heartbreak, depression, anger and all that good stuff

LunasChild8
LunasChild8
Dangerous Mind
Canada
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Joined 27th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 469

The Silver Lining

Lifeís never black and white
There are always shades of grey
Thereís no clear distinction between wrong and right
People tend to do things their own way.
 
People always say to look for the silver lining
Yet how can I with this unbearable pain?
My quality of life was dramatically declining
Why my own father would put me through this, even I canít explain.
 
I canít stand people who talk so easily
Without understanding the actual facts
I yearn for a better life almost dreamily
I had no idea how much of an impact this would haveÖ
 
On my life and on my perspective of life
Instead of achieving things out of merit, itís based on favors or connections
He took the life out of me; didnít even need a knife
I became damned ambitious to turn my life around to another direction.
 
Iíll tell you something about the silver lining
Only us humans can control its outcome
The need to ignore the pain can be quite blinding
But I just canít forget nor forgive; I wonít stop until Iíve won.
 
I donít see how the shit Iíve gone through can have a beneficial outcome
Aside from learning not to give a shit on those who couldnít give a damn about me
Iím too young to have gone through what I did, but my lifeís just begun
And Iíll make damn sure that no one will ever again fuck with me.
Written by LunasChild8
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LunasChild8
LunasChild8
Dangerous Mind
Canada
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Joined 27th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 469

Leave Me Alone

I want to be alone,
I donít want to see anyone,
Yet Iím not free to just roam,
Around where itís just the sun;
 
Acting as my luminescent guide,
Towards an uncertain destiny,
Emotions are chocking me from the inside,
I need to be free!
 
Iíve had just about enough,
Why canít anyone see that?
Iím expected to be strong and tough,
Why canít anyone see just how sad;

I am with all these changes,
Some of which I never wanted,
The ones I look up to are full of pain,
Instead, they come to me for comfort.
 
I canít take it anymore!
I just want out,
I donít get what all the fights are for,
If all they ever leave you with is more doubt.
 
Go solve your own problems,
I want nothing to do with them,
Donít hold me accountable if youíve fallen,
Or I might just say ďitís the end!Ē
Written by LunasChild8
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Fetchitnow
Fetchitnow
Thought Provoker
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Joined 20th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 154

Children Who Choose White Laced Candy

When are they gonna break away
Or when are they going to die
Did I miss what society had to say
Should I have just turned the same way

We all think we can beat the odds
Some hadnít even placed a single bet
Am I the only one, that listened to me and not them
This lifeís too simple, to be ruined by an honest mistake

So wake up children who choose white laced candy
When their nightís start, just as the sun begins to wake
You can't even chat, face to face, thatís not very dandy
Just admit, you have a problem, itís with your addiction

Find the sun as it rises to bake
Burning ever so slightly, enough to open your eyes
Then, just take a damn good hard look at yourself
Beyond that pale face and those awful lies

Whoís face do you look at in the mirror
Can you see the real you, hidden amongst the cracks
It could take you a lifetime to show your true self
Getting back on track, hopefully then, youíll reappear

Maybe you'll come back down to earth
There's still plenty of hope and dreams to fulfil
Demons deep inside, know they canít live in this paradise
In the end, itís up to you, donít let this be your very last meal

So wake up children, who choose white laced candy
When their nightís start, just as the sun begins to wake
You even fear chat, face to face, thatís not very dandy
Just admit, you have a problem, itís with your addiction

Find the sun as it rises to bake
Burning ever so slightly, enough to open your eyes
Oh, just take a good hard honest look at yourself
Beyond your pale face and all of your lies.
Written by Fetchitnow
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cloventongue89
cloventongue89
Nathaniel Peter
Thought Provoker
United States
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Joined 18th Sep 2017
Forum Posts: 442

I'll Save A Dance For You

Thinking of you
These thoughts that occupy my mind
Trying to focus
Even the sunrise is darkness
When sight is faith blind
 
First night back
It was all I could do
To keep my emotions to myself at work
When all I can do is think of you
 
It feels like fire, invisible blades
Words pour from my lips like a scar
Slinging the blood of poetry therapy
Beyond console, wishing I was where you are
 
I am a bleeding heart
Weeping in the rain
Storms circling
My tears perspire
But fail to relinquish the pain
 
In this struggle between
Honesty's lie and true faith I speak
Humbling the pride of my boasting emotion
 
Learning to trust in something unseen
When everything is bleak
And hope feels like swimming an ocean
 
Thoughts of you stuck on repeat
As I remember our last day
Leaving your bedside
And feeling guilty for leaving you that way
 
Just responsive enough to open your eyes
As my brothers and I said our goodbyes
 
I asked you to get better for us
And said I'd tell my wife that you said hi
As I broke upon departure
And I couldn't help but cry
 
All the thoughts that fly through my head
All things I wish I could have said
Fatalistic it seems in my mentality
Warfare between this world and a more beautiful reality
 
Thanking God for the days prior
Contending for the future unset
You are more than just a memory
Because you are not dead yet
 
Renovations of newly weds
Homemakers of inland tides
My step dad prepares a place for you
Praying in time is where your life resides
 
You've still got a home to build
To reap the reward
For all the heartache of former things
This is all you worked toward
 
Finish the house I said to him
As we go about with expectancy
That this is not the end
When everyday feels like a waiting room
Locked outside of your recovery
 
You've still got a wedding to attend
As we ceremony our renewed vows at the altar with our family and friends
Celebrating lovers as we live our lives
Promise me this is not where the story ends
 
Reception reminiscing for plans
To make another memory with you
Scheduling our designated moment to dance
Give me away, it's not my turn yet
Caught up in a son and mother romance
Despite every trial that we've been through
We have nothing to regret
 
I'll save a place for you
Making a reservation for our time slot
There's a place in my heart only for you
And no one will ever take your spot...
Written by cloventongue89 (Nathaniel Peter)
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cloventongue89
cloventongue89
Nathaniel Peter
Thought Provoker
United States
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Joined 18th Sep 2017
Forum Posts: 442

Outside The ICU

 
Did I cherish you enough
When you were a phone call away
Caught up in my own life
I love you and there is nothing left to say

On the other side of silence
I long to hear your voice once more
I won't give up on hope
Contending with gravity, faith is a fight
And you're worth fighting for

Doing all I can to outlast this pain
Depression, anxiety, and stress
Heartache amidst routine
For all the things I can control
On the inside I'm a mess

Fractures in my heart
I suffer for you
Our bond strained
Miles away
You bleed
And I am blood stained

Another prayer for every letter I never wrote
Forwarded care of heaven, silent screams
Whispers have a way of still burning my throat
I'll see you when you awaken
Till then I'll meet you in my dreams

Another picture taken
I'll scrap book my heart for you
This is what I did while you were sleeping
Outside the ICU
Keeping a journal for you to read when I see you

I'll write you a picture of the sky
To tell you that the sun's still shinning
As I unearth these endearments
Negatives developing hope from inner gold mining

Priceless sentiments given
Value relative to you
Placing bids of time
There's never enough to match your worth
Bedside horizon the dawn has nothing on the view
When you're a secret wonder in this earth

Remembering the color of the rainbow in your eyes
Like God's promise that this storm ends
When the thunder boasts with rain clouds full of lies
We stand together, the anthem intercession of family and friends

Calling you, a vacant ring
Voicemail messages saved just to hear your voice again
I'm on the other side of silence
Promise me this is not where the story ends...
Written by cloventongue89 (Nathaniel Peter)
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wallyroo92
wallyroo92
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1012

You Know What?

You know whatís heartbreaking?
Seeing people die because they canít afford the meds,
They canít go on living because big pharma is unforgiving
With price gouging that greed goes right to their heads.
 
You know whatís depressing?
The cost of higher education most of students canít waive,
People take out loans then later try to buy their homes,
By getting us stuck in debt corporations keep us enslaved.
 
You know whatís also sad?
Is the hate and fear mongering those in power portend,
Have a conservative front just donít be a Republicunt,
So many hypocrites - I donít know how they can pretend.
 
But you know what angers me the most?
Is that orange cunt face coming to my home town,
And if it were allowed Iíd punch him in the mouth,
Then tell him ďBitch ass bitch, go away you clownĒ.
Written by wallyroo92
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BlackBoxPublicatio
BlackBoxPublicatio
Adeshina Lawal
Lost Thinker
United States
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Joined 4th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 8

Jaded Hatred

Your jaded hatred has you spitting obscenities from your lips in front
of the children.
Your abomination towards your cousin stuffs your lungs and blood with
boiling poison compelling you to infect others.
You seek to pass judgement against your brother only on his color
while you think you will never stand trial for murder.
Society has been impregnated with jaded hatred and she is almost
ready to give birth to the accursed spawn of his overzealous seed.
See the germ of jaded hatred on a multicultural scale- witness the many
levels of hell.
Jaded hatred produces widespread poverty for the many, but it must
occur on an individual level in order to survive thriving off individual lies.
Snuff out the enemy of peace and bring him forward to explain his
backward thought process latched to jaded hatred.
When circulated it oozes from their eyes as if they were gripped by an
anaconda controlled by the Devil.
It takes generations to achieve jaded hatred as it must be birthed by a
lie and spread over time with obscenities and acts of intolerant
nonsense.
Peace must be absent in order for hatred to become jaded, but when
peace is achieved on an individual level jaded hatred can be bled out.
Never doubt the power of peace and love for together they are the anti
venom to jaded hatred.
Their anti venom works with such determinism that they are persistent
enough to run counterter-contamination against jaded hatred.
This cure must occur on an individual level on a biracial scale bringing
part to whole rendering jaded hatred starving.

For more poetry like this check out my collection @ https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578471736/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_eNvrEb2YR1SZT

www.blackboxlive.wordpress.com
Written by BlackBoxPublicatio (Adeshina Lawal)
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Poetryman
Poetryman
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 14th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 1505

Unfeathered Wings

An angel has fallen
Her wings tarred and unfeathered
A weight unbearable on her haunted mind
Was one I would gladly have lifted from her limbs
If only I had known, if only she had told
But I should have seen
The sadness in her eyes, always there
But her smile fooled me, blinded me to her pain
How lovely she was and her voice just as sweet
So caught up in my own sorrow
So absorbed in my living pain I missed the clues
The stories dripping from her eyes
Her song echoing in my head, a choir of angels
Falling like the sky that could not hold her up
Lifting the veil of nightfall as black as boiling tar
Thicker than blood no water could wash away
The darkness in her thoughts
Consumed her light within
And so like a phoenix she crashed to the earth
Without a soul to rise again into heaven
If only I had been there, if only I could have broken her fall
This sadness savages my heart
I am unworthy
Written by Poetryman
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Wh1skeySwagger
Wh1skeySwagger
Swagger
Thought Provoker
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Joined 10th Dec 2019
Forum Posts: 210

Love Shouldn't Hurt

DISGUSTED
enchanted
ASHAMED
proud
You CAN'T do it
i know you can
DUMB
bright
Worthless
helpful
Your ALWAYS IN THE WAY
your always on my mind
IRRESPONSIBLE
trustworthy
FOOLISH
sensible
I HATE you
i love you
FAILURE
fulfilling
INCOMPETENT
adept
You DISAPPOINT me
you amaze me
LAZY
helpful
WEIRDO
intersting
DON'T talk to me
spend time with me
INFERIOR
leader
UGLY
beautiful
NEVER with you
always with you
RIDICULOUS
rational
USELESS
helpful
Youíre just  a fu@%king JOKE
you are awesome
RETARDED
special
STUPID
brilliant
You are PATHETIC
you are amazing
FAT
curvy
IDIOT
intellectual
 
All these hurtful words
Stuck inside our brain
no matter how many more said positively
the negative stays ingrained
 
Be careful the words you use
a difference can be made
positive people treating others positively
will let the sun block the lonely shade
Written by Wh1skeySwagger (Swagger)
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Wh1skeySwagger
Wh1skeySwagger
Swagger
Thought Provoker
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Joined 10th Dec 2019
Forum Posts: 210

50-50-90

Demons swimming  
But i hide them well  
Put on my happy face
As i go into the world  
Look at me
Everything's great i tell them  
Even though  
Deep inside i know its not  
What they don't see is me  
The 3 hours it took to tell myself its okay  
You'll be fine  
They are going to be waiting for you again  
If you don't just  
OPEN THE F@#KING DOOR AND GO  
Why is it so hard †
To put on this costume of joy and happiness  
Why can't i believe what others do  
Why can't i see what other's see  
Because what they believe is what I lead them to see  
Because what they see is what I want them to believe  
It's the me i want to be deep inside  
But I just can't seem to find the way to get there  
There is no f@#king map  
No GPS hollering to turn right in 1/2 mile  
I am at a constant fork in the road  
Taking the wrong way each time  
Hoping it is going to get lighter as I travel  
But it Never Does  
You See the two paths does not equal a 50% chance of choosing the right one  
It does not work that way with me  
For me its always 50-50-90  
If there is a 50% Chance to choose the right path  
and 50% chance to choose the wrong one  
I always have a 90% chance to choose the wrong one  
But this is what keeps me going  
That little tiny 10%  
You see there is a chance  
That someday  
Somewhere †
I will pick the right one  
My darkness will fade slowly to light and I can face the world feeling the way they see me  
That's what its all about right?  
that tiny chance  
is still a chance  
its what i got  
but until then i have my costume  
and a 10% chance to make it
Written by Wh1skeySwagger (Swagger)
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ClassyBird
ClassyBird
Twisted Dreamer
Dominica
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Joined 24th Oct 2019
Forum Posts: 21

I Blame Me

you know what,
I've only got myself to blame
for setting my heart free,
Of all the pain it has endured,
it should be in captivity.
I risked the cracks
And took a chance,
I thought that love could mend.
Now I'm back where I started,
with a heart that has shattered
With nothing else to lend.
Written by ClassyBird
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ClassyBird
ClassyBird
Twisted Dreamer
Dominica
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Joined 24th Oct 2019
Forum Posts: 21

Failed Love Harmonized

Hollow stand
Framed house
Brick walls  
Where we once danced
Fragrance of romance  
One final glance
It is no more  
The day you walked out the door
 
You took my time into your hands  
Failed a love that had a chance  
Although I prayed to God you stayed
You paved your path a different way
 
I stand here  
I dance alone
Within the walls we called our home
Rooms filled with the scenery  
Of love and what love should be  
I listened to soft melody
Of the promises you made to me  
And into the mist of night  
Those memories took flight.  
Written by ClassyBird
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ClassyBird
ClassyBird
Twisted Dreamer
Dominica
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Joined 24th Oct 2019
Forum Posts: 21

Rooted Anger

The anger in me
Eats at my soul
Like venom rotting flesh.
The anxiety of you hurting me
Burns deeply through my chest.
I have no sanctuary
Iíve lost my sanity
Iím feeling oh so stressed.
The sadness paves the tar in me
My heart hardens as I possess
All my feelings, strength, my love for you,
Has been put to the test
and now I feel like a wounded deer
Panting its last breath
afraid Iíll have to let you go
so my mind can finally rest.
Written by ClassyBird
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Crazontheinside
Crazontheinside
JoannaMcDonald
Lost Thinker
Canada
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Joined 5th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 4

Anorexia - Behind the looking Glass

ďA mastermind in disguised by the sins of shattered glass, luring you in by its reflections, leaving you with painful thoughts, false confidence and shame. Your wasting away as time is coming short, pretty soon all that will be left of you is the remains of your bones.Ē

she once lit up
like fearless skies,
then she grew up
to her own demise.
Carried burdens
of many storms,
flooded fears
that noone knows.
Ran countless times
but all she found,
Is nowhere to hide
Only one way out
Despite her screams for help
She wastes away, never good enough.
The mirror is all she has,
With tainted words and toxic love,
her voice comes forth
"say what you mean,
I will not hurt,
Iím a human being,
the mirror before you,
covers thee.
As I show myself through this mirror,
you'll never see...see the real me"
Look at her,
But a scarred reflection
and all you'll ever see.
Stale image, mixed emotion,
reminded by failures
day after day.
Satisfied, in control,
her body wastes away.
Hiding behind isolation
eyes hollow, lifeless,
Slowly headed six feet under.
Itís for the best,
lost, confused, mad.
If you never cared, why do you now?
The pain is real, she's nearly dead...
Afraid of her own skin,
her voice is but a whisper.
As her body's slowly weaken,
Her suicide?...her murder?
such obsession becomes her poison?
ďBut Iím the perfect version,
Of whatís on your televisionĒ
her reflection, her mask, her disguise,
Desperate for perfection.
You canít see behind her eyes,
lost herself in flawed attraction.
So she cuts the fat away,
continued cycled of only guilt.
Releasing tears of shame,
and always misunderstood.
Will she ever get to 80 pounds?
This her blessing in disguise.
ďQuestion is will I stop if at that point,
itís time to try.Ē
Trauma, abuse, neglect, anxiety.
The times she asked for help, no one listens,
secrets hidden from her family.
The mirror is all that understands,
she promises to get better.
Doing the best she can,
her soul shines true of her nature.
Despite she can barely stand.
A journey heads to broken bones
unless she finds help and love.
One by one, everyone knows it's
too late now, itís not enough.
Her reflection has come off distorted,
as her mind is infected, sickened.
Sheís just a broken girl
living in a heartless world.
TV, news, society,
everywhere around you and me,
bullying is the sin we live in
is there any way to win?
Ashamed of her body,
everyone can see,
the people that loved her
arenít there anymore.
Itís her ultimatum,
they donít realize itís not even her fault,
you donít even know the scars on the inside.
She wants the help, she canít stop if she tried,
her diets counting calories in weight.
She knows itís not normal, she feels only of hate.
It's the silent of killers.
Strips you of your confidence,
preys on the helpless and weak.
Bringing doubt, shame, and fear.
Don't be fooled by its reflection,
Its a distraction of the truth.
Her silenced reflection
Now hidden with pain.
Prisoner behind this glass,
Bones buried in a grave
Will you come to the service,
Or ask of her name,
Or will you say?
ďItís that girl in skeleton bonesĒ
Or maybe sheíll be remembered again.
Nobody knows what a person has gone through.
So, stop the judgements! Itís wrong and you donít have to
love her unconditional.
Bring warmth to her cold,
then tell her she's beautiful.
That use of words, what seems so little,
to a sickness can mean the absolute world.

Joanna Ryan-McDonald
Written by Crazontheinside (JoannaMcDonald)
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Fetchitnow
Fetchitnow
Thought Provoker
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Joined 20th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 154

ĎBout Da Blues

The blues spoke out loud, as the very first person, to me  
Talkin' 'bout movin' on and leavin' your troubles behind  
That's what the blues should feel like, like being set free  
One day, a college educated black man, rather refined  
Met a lean loose-jointed negro vagrant, swingin' with motion  
He was a sittin' over there, between the police and the railway station  
When he first heard this gifted black musician, playing his guitar  
But, he'd been pulling a knife across the strings, how bizarre  
It was the weirdest sound, that he ever did hear.  
 
Music was being played all down the south coast  
Mainly for pleasure, but also for future profit, they'd all boast  
But people were throwing coins, at the soles of this dudes feet  
He said, it's played by all the blacks, but whiteys can't hear its tunes  
Played all night and day, making some money, just enough to be able to eat  
Some would even use a dirty ole wash bowl, along with some silver spoons  
 
I wanted to learn me, how to pick that guitar, oh yes sir re, indeed  
There was a sweet singer of the swamp lands, always high on green weed  
Passing on by here, to put down a few tracks, all 'bout da blues  
He'd never stay too long, 'cause he was wanted by the state  
Word had it, he was from a town in Texas, named Fate  
He was known as Lead Belly, who never paid his dues  
Yep, he did become that infamous, murderous minstrel  
 
You gotta take an eight bar phrase  
Then simply, make it a twelve bar phrase  
Now ya got ya selves, dat ole fashioned blues  
You'd know a lot more about the blues, by meeting the people  
Than you would, listening to it, from home or relying on the news  
Or seated around a knob on the radio dial, like most lazy towns people  
The uptight white cats from LA, didn't bother, to hear those sort of tones  
Even after sitting, right beside the famous UK band, the Rolling Stones  
 
In the meantime, mainstream USA sat up and twirled  
As they smashed through their southern racial barrier  
So everyone could be happier, they'd forget about their interior  
The British had heard it, full steam ahead, they then told the world  
Letting y'all know, who these great blues music people, really are and were  
Then, white America said, 'Well let me go see', what's making them purr  
 
When it was all done and finalised  
It was only then, that we realised  
That it was so hip hop  
For us to put the blues back on top  
We had the big bop, then the 80s pop  
Thru to ZZ Top, along with another MTV flop  
Tearing it all up, leaving behind very few clues  
Even though, they were just, as bad to the bone  
Just as the original good ole blues  
Should've always done.
Written by Fetchitnow
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