Poetry competition CLOSED 30th January 2020 8:50pm
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EdibleWords
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RUNNERS-UP: Ahavati and Kinkpoet

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ROAST, the RUTHLESS

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 7th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 1768

Need Mo Whiz, Dumb

I tol u
Yur back-wurd

Get smarts
No bumazz
Smartur

I C yew
Dats wear u gunna
B
If U can spale

Dis is stoop-id

Tryin ta talk 2U
Written by EdibleWords
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EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Dangerous Mind
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Forum Posts: 1768

Ahavati said:I am not sure how all of this is supposed to work. Are we supposed to respond to the critiques? Are we supposed to be RUTHLESS with our answers?  Or do we just post a poem and then critique a poem and be done with it?

I dunno... but Johnny was too nice to you. I'm calling foul.😝

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Dangerous Mind
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Forum Posts: 1768

I am conscious of the Scribe

I have become conscious, lately, that Awesome Others  
Seemingly are conscious of my consciousness.  
And most of the time I had taken for granted this  
Consciousness of consciousness to what consciousness,  
My consciousness actually is.  

Privately and Publicly, a few of this,  
All scriveners, Bards and writers alike  
Told me, tell me I am more than amanuensis –  
I am that Special Gifted individual  
…..who writes.  

Have I truly moved from being the scribe  
Who jots downs shit for the monk  
In a cave in the mountains of Tibet?  
 
When?  
When did this transformation take place!  
Goddamnit!  The love I FEEL  
Is making my face wet again.  
 
No longer the artistic assistant,  
I am.  
 
I am the monk who scribes in a cave  
In the mountains of Tibet.  
I am.  
 
 
I am also the Scribe.
Written by Tallen (earth_empath)
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All I could think with being consciously conscious of our consciousness of you..... is ......

That depends on what the meaning of "is" is.

And now I'm full of salad. Darn stuffed.

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 7th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 1768

[ On Poetry ] The Physics Of Snow Angels

 
The legacy you leave behind?      
Children numbering in plenitude      
Such adorable snow angels they make!      
Their quaint wings spreading
aflutter in morning's sun      
 
Come lengthening evening shades      
---drifted over by the wind and---     
gone     
       
Fleeting impressions
 your words are     
 ---unremarkable poetry
subtracted of its poetry
is just that: alchemic equations
failing to measure up
into anything substantive      
---formulaic fodder
for sake of water cooler discussion     
---doodles and scribblings  
written in dry erase marker      
easily wiped away from a  
whiteboard    
     
 
Written by JohnnyBlaze
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Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. *shakes head*

I thought you knew those little Cretans don't drift around by evening! They crash into walls and make holes! Full of hot cocoa and venom. Best they be kept out making snow angels until evening. Then they'll be too hypothermic to make trouble.

And rather than forgetting your words like so many clean blown angels... get ready for the icy snow bank of histrionics in your face as they shove you down headfirst from behind!!!

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Dangerous Mind
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Forum Posts: 1768

Nothing is that Serious

“All the great sadnesses, great temptations,
and great mistakes are almost always
the result of loneliness.”
-- José Saramago, Margaret Jull Costa

In the end we all become graves,
our differences united by the same
neglect of weeds and immense
necropolis whose swathed residents
observe from quiet encasements.

Beyond our mounds will spread
giant limbs of balboa, tapping
like trapped hangers behind closet
doors casting macabre shadows
across plastic flowers and dirt.

Visitors and memories are decimated
by time until all that remains
is a hovel of chiseled stone.
History becomes an illusion
of mystery, like that black dog,

there -- just beyond Aiken's bench,
sniffing out with such diligence you
would swear it was seeking the birth
certificate of God, until it cocks its leg
and pisses on the concrete instead.

~
Written by Ahavati
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OMG

Ahavati!
That was such gross erotica! I never knew you had it in you!

Old people gotta have fun, too.

clewluss
clewluss
SMOOKY
Thought Provoker
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Joined 22nd Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 237

NOW HEAR THISS:
JADEY OF CALIFORNIA WILDIRE FAME
WILL BE ADDING HER SPECIAL TOUCHE
TO THIS COMP VERY SHORTLY
SO HEAD ZUP.

slipalong
slipalong
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom
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Joined 1st Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 404

Dogs dinner

Did you write what you thought good
Like music it fell and it was rich
And posted it and others swarmed to say a like
 Your chest it swelled with haughty pride

Be be be on that self gravy train
You pour it out those thick and lumpy lines
The plate so full of that mundane
That jus that some proclaim as fine

The veg it diced on perfect shape
Like scrabble letters in the rack
You feel the height of that elate
The stanza on the platter stacked

The form and round from stalk in ground
A company to please all tastes
The green sprout of symmetry sound
That assembled crowd that looked so great

The meat its slices overcooked
Dry of metaphor and refrain
And inane rhyme that you mistook
All sinew to rewrite again

Give up the bloody quest you seek
The vegan plate that is good select
Your cooks collective cutlery just to slice that glean
The entrecote given false respect

 Condiments of compliments so laid
Foul the palate when it should be clean
The dogs dinner fit to throw away
Hot lukewarm comments that demean

The Michelin stars the poets peak
Its your own roast that tastes the best
Get a like or a add to my favorites list
This poem will instantly destruct itself
 
Written by slipalong
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Jade-Pandora
Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5103

I Have A Plan

 
 
I simply said ‘I have a plan’,
‘Twas off the record, did I say?
It’s early and I just began,
Don’t want the muse to go astray.
 
It doesn’t mean we’re on a clock,
I simply said ‘I have a plan’.
It’s promising no writer’s block,
In fact you may become a fan.
 
No guarantee it’s better than
The competition’s good intent.
I simply said ‘I have a plan’,
I’m not revealing where it went.
 
So hold your horses, wait a spell,
Watch’d pots don’t boi’l says a pan.
A magic potion? who can tell,
I simply said ‘I have a plan’.    

   
   
( a non-entry )
Written by Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
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EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 7th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 1768

I Have A Plan

 
 
I simply said ‘I have a plan’,
‘Twas off the record, did I say?
It’s early and I just began,
Don’t want the muse to go astray.
 
It doesn’t mean we’re on a clock,
I simply said ‘I have a plan’.
It’s promising no writer’s block,
In fact you may become a fan.
 
No guarantee it’s better than
The competition’s good intent.
I simply said ‘I have a plan’,
I’m not revealing where it went.
 
So hold your horses, wait a spell,
Watch’d pots don’t boi’l says a pan.
A magic potion? who can tell,
I simply said ‘I have a plan’.    

   
   
( a non-entry )
Written by Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
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Jade-Pandora said:

You know.... id roast your poem.... but the risk is id go soft.... ❤️

If you have a plan.... tho.... I'm all ears!👂👂👂👂

clewluss
clewluss
SMOOKY
Thought Provoker
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Joined 22nd Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 237

gentle jack

Listen close dear children
Gather near
I'll tell you a tall one
If you lend me an ear
 
Tall mountain jack
As big as they come
Arms that can lift you
Onto his back
Legs that can kick mountain goats  
Out of the way
 
 Gentle with children
Helps grannies cross the street
Count yourself lucky to
Have jack in your sight
 
Because with jack
Everything is all right
No bad drugs in your body
No cravings in your head
No worries over rent
 a relationship gone dead
 
Jack brings you
A fine bowl of stew
After playing in the snow
His roaring hearth fire
Warms our cold toe
 
Jack gives us his glowing glow
Soon jack will bid us farewell
Leaving us to face inner turmoil
And life's grime alone
 
But he leaves us warm enough
That we won't turn to cold stone
 
 
 
Written by clewluss (SMOOKY)
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BigG
BigG
Lost Thinker
United Kingdom
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Joined 26th Nov 2019
Forum Posts: 11

Jog on

Booze filled body Sweety and clammy
I lay next to you Pristine and calm
Once was lovers Such magical times
Our bodies once tangled But my head's so mangled
I think I should leave before I do you harm,

The Voices have ceased calling my name
But all I remember are the words you said
On my way to rehab I wish you was dead
Is this the life we must carry and share
Just because we have a child now their.


Written by BigG
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clewluss
clewluss
SMOOKY
Thought Provoker
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Joined 22nd Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 237

Amazing one and all,
Jade many apologies for
Misreading your PM

I am pleasantly surprised that nobody
HAs followed orders
Nobody has roasted anyone!
So much Love ❤️

Jade-Pandora
Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5103

Halloooo. SMOOKY...

Don’t forget you made a parallel universe over at the twin tower...

https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/11207/

We got action!🐾😸✍🏼

Heart_symphony
Heart_symphony
Twisted Dreamer
Canada
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Forum Posts: 60

Right down to the minute, right down to the second

Time passes so slowly    
Each grain of sand        
Creeps down the hourglass        
       
Feeling the depth of each breath        
The air is heavy        
It drowns      
       
Trembling finger tips and toes        
The sensation crawling        
Into your nerves        
       
Every blink        
Shutters in slow motion        
Lights glare through        
       
The light illuminates your fingertips        
Orange skin        
Outlined with translucent edges        
       
Every heartbeat pounds        
Thudding in your ears        
The world is violently vivid    
       
With love and heartbreak        
You feel everything        
Every minute, every second        
       
The moments before the end        
Flicker and flash        
The minutes are flaking away  
   
Everything superficial drains    
Raw emotions are all that remain    
Which keep you holding onto the seconds
 
Your last breath
The minutes are gone
Your down to the seconds
Written by Heart_symphony
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Kinkpoet
Kinkpoet
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 9th May 2019
Forum Posts: 738

Dreams

although they have not yet met
he has been sneaking into her dreams at night
 
lingering and lurking
searching the dark corners
of her subconscious
looking for the clues
to her hidden desires
and unspoken needs
 
he leaves small
ideas and suggestions
in secret places
 
when she awakes
she has vague memories
of  his visits
 
when they meet
it is as if they
have known each other
for a long time
or even that
they have been friends
in a previous life
 
when they fall in love
it is as if
they can read each others’ minds
 
as if they have been
lingering and lurking
searching the dark corners
learning
hidden desires
and unspoken needs
 
although he doesn’t know it yet
she has been sneaking into his dreams at night
 
©2019
Written by Kinkpoet
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