Poetry competition CLOSED 7th December 2019 2:33pm
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RUNNERS-UP: Ahavati and Tallen

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It ain't easy

Fire of Insight
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Joined 3rd May 2018
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Poetry Contest

Write the worst poem you can possible manage.
We can all strive to write better but have you ever tried to write a 'bad' poem?
It's not as easy as you think!

2 weeks
2 poems
20 lines
Title your work
Any subject but please, NO erotica or sex

If it's really bad I may have to enlist another judge to help me out

The backstory to this comp subject is:  Some years ago in a poetry group a very well accomplished writer created another persona; a famous poet from a village who had started a newsletter encouraging other poets to submit their work.  We didn't know who this 'famous old' poet was, no one had even heard of this village but naturally we were all curious.  The 'old' poet shared his work in the group and it was pure shite.  We kept reading and re'reading and we all gave polite comments fearing that perhaps we might all be wrong in our opinion.  
This lasted couple of months he would share crap of a poem and we gave polite feedback...then some months later when we found out we all had a good laugh and he admitted how hard and difficult it was to actually write bad poetry and make it seem believable.

Hope you all have fun with this project  

Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 28th Dec 2012
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stuck to The Shoe

Written on brown paper
posed as something more
had stuckthe edged frayed fling thing thrown away
put me up as nothing more and jiggle the handle
i go in semi-circled waves
i go for many days
i feel so very frayed
were i to wpie it all away


i forget 
that shit where one screws up and days are done
flowers N petals...
Give me new edged windows to place that vase
wtaer runs streaming,gleaming,teasing,pleasing
but does the sun shine?
sometimes i ...i reflect i can't lie
shredded half alive


Rite aid was a pill
i was ill
is this written with quill
no no bitches
this is thro up 
as if that mattered
it is magic hat                                        
                                                                                        from over here
slite of hand where dog bites occur 
Finnish mimicry 
on a toadstool 
thee and fleshy bits
it moves...undulating
recessed minds 

Dangerous Mind
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Joined 7th Jan 2018
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Need Mo Whiz, Dumb

I tol u
Yur back-wurd

Get smarts
No bumazz

I C yew
Dats wear u gunna
If U can spale

Dis is stoop-id

Tryin ta talk 2U
Written by EdibleWords
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Fire of Insight
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Awesome start, thanks Mister Soul and Miss Ediblewords :)

jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5126

Related submission no longer exists.

Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 3rd Feb 2014
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A Neon Jungle

A Neon Jungle
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Tyrant of Words
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Joined 15th Oct 2018
Forum Posts: 1763

Amphiboly Phlegm

So what
So what
So what!

Nobody cares when I am feeling lonely
Could care less when I am leaking blue
Time to take a long ass nap
For I am just passing through

& we think

So what
So what
So what!

I wake up sometimes feelin’ high
Wake myself up with laughter
Don’t care if You care
about what comes after

& I think

So what
So what
So what!

Doing my Best
to create my worst

but Yeah

so what

Thought Provoker
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Joined 4th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 48

My wee lil special guest

It popped on my window as if to say hello
my birdie buddy all sweet and mellow
Dressed in a downy gold gown of yellow
I tried to cheep in tune, join its song to say
'welcome my chirping lil fellow
Oh my it sang then like a feathered cello!
So hi and hello deepunderground fellow worms and twitter tweet tweet
May you find this short 'n' very merry sweet , sweet
This was in honour of my winged guest of honour
For I fawn over you birdies, I'm your fan , a bird lover
Build your nest in my poet's corner, I'm your fawner
Lil birdie you are my VIP, be my guest of honour



Written by Zaynab_kamoonpury
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Fire of Insight
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Give It Over One More Time Baby

I miss you so much rancid darling
Every time I am sipping a Carling
Yes my eyes get wet and sparkling
While tearing the head off a starling
And mixing it in with my Darjeeling
And the wind is howling and gnarling
So I know you won't find it startling
That what I miss most is
Your belching farting and snarling


This is the worst poem ever writ
No I am an Augustine fellow
You are a gullible fool a twit
The meaning is thin and yellow

Being of this ponderance is alloy
I am not sorry I made you look
The rocket has crashed ship ahoy
But we don't really give a fook

The preponderance
The preponderance!

jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5126

Hothouse Rhubarb

Force-grown! Chop ‘em up nice in a bowl,
Slice a pound of strawberries and mix.
Put ‘em in a pie with sugar and spice.

Lay the lattice dough across the filling.
Put on a cookie sheet and bake on HIGH
Till black smoke is rising from the oven.

Then call 9-1-1 and yell FI-RE!!
Don’t open the door till the men come
To bust an axe, then let them in QUICK!

Don’t forget, put on your mask, Doll face,
‘Cause the room is full of smoke, no joke!
The big men with the big hose rush in!

Water explodes from the nozzle WHOOSH!
Water’s everywhere, down the hall & walls!
Black smoke & ash oozin’ on everything!
Pots and pans, whatcha gonna do, hun’?

“Let’s eat sum PIE, Mister Men!” you say.
They’re looking at you seriously! PIE!?
Do we look crazy? Are you crazy, girl??

“No sir, sirs, I’m not crazy, but hey now!
Don’tcha think the walls in here look good?
Good enough to EAT like RHUBARB PIE!”

Tyrant of Words
United States
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Pay attention to the eternal gluttony,
it is the most filling season of all.
Eternal gluttonous country.
Are you upset by how fat it is?
Does it tear you apart
to see the eternal glutton
so heavy with waste and greed?

How soupy is the horrid pecan pie!
Are you upset by how soupy it is?
Does it tear your stomach
up to see the pie so soupy?

This afternoon, I said to myself,
"Why isn't the turkey leg more lean?"
Are you upset by how greasy it is?
Does it tear you apart to see
the turkey leg so obese?

Then get a wing. Whatever.
Just give Thanks
and eat


Twisted Dreamer
United States
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Joined 21st Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 99

[ IEPT ] Disturbing To Say The Least

In this world brimming with
pestilence, famine, disease---     
I cut the cheese    
Fall to your knees    
suck moldy peckers of rotting lepers    
While I cut the cheese    
to say the least    
No way of curbing    
the twisted beast    
living inside of me    
saying whatever is on its mind    
like some goddam newbie poet    
Please, please    
hand me a tissue before I sneeze and spew    
mucous into your mouth as I kiss you      
Always suck snot in --- never blow it    
Written by Anarchitect
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poet Anonymous

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Fire of Insight
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Fire of Insight
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Thank you, tank u all
these are awesome...ly...baaad, you all are a great sport...little time left so if anyone else want to take a chance for the win, hurry!

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