Poetry competition CLOSED 20th June 2019 8:00pm
WINNER
Josh
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Let’s Liberate Limericks!

cabcool
cabcool
Fire of Insight
Jamaica
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Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 137

Anything for some bread!
Now isn't that well said.
But feeding the needy
And gorging the greedy
Ensures the world is fed.

Thanks, Berea.

cab

snugglebuck
snugglebuck
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 3rd Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 1716

St. Paddy Laddy

A young lad from Napa Valley

Drank to much on St. Paddy's

Waking the next day

Much to his dismay

He'd married Sasquatch Sally
Written by snugglebuck
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AnonymousBystander
AnonymousBystander
Thought Provoker
United Kingdom
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Joined 28th Sep 2018
Forum Posts: 142

Oh if only

There was a girl called Naomi,
who'd swallow any baloney.
We would all be shot by Cupid
if only she wasn't stupid.
Good looks and brains, oh if only.
Written by AnonymousBystander
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cabcool
cabcool
Fire of Insight
Jamaica
5awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 137

Thanks for your entry, Sir snuggle:
Your humour comes out without struggle!

cab

cabcool
cabcool
Fire of Insight
Jamaica
5awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 137

I appreciate your support and entry, AB.  Please see my further comment in PM.

Blessings.

cab

AnonymousBystander
AnonymousBystander
Thought Provoker
United Kingdom
2awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 28th Sep 2018
Forum Posts: 142

Hungry Visit (to Limerick)

A fox came to visit last night.
He was foraging for a bite,
he look'd in the bin
to find a strange tin
of out dat'd spam: food not right.
Written by AnonymousBystander
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Bumstead
Bumstead
Strange Creature
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Joined 15th June 2019
Forum Posts: 1

Three Limers

The menu was more than appealing:
Kielbasa, a cup of Darjeeling;    
she drank her tea sweet    
and loved the rare meat,    
so ordered the Twinnings      
still squealing.    
     
A witch who loved licorice from hell    
took her Twizlers and got a motel;    
she unpacked her broom    
and rode ‘round the room    
sucking red ‘bove the bed    
casting spells.    
     
A plumber by day, Sophie slept    
with man and a wrench that she kept    
around for a leak,    
her skills were unique    
and she loosened his nuts      
‘till he wept
Written by Bumstead
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cabcool
cabcool
Fire of Insight
Jamaica
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Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 137

Excellent comeback, AB!  I see the application of further insight.

NB  There are no rules against editing earlier entries.

cab

cabcool
cabcool
Fire of Insight
Jamaica
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Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 137

Ha ha!
Thank you for your lim'rick, Bumstead;
I'm certain each part will be read.
The whole sends a tickle
To prove just how fickle
The punny bone is when undead.

cab

RexDurkin
RexDurkin
Thought Provoker
Australia
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Joined 13th Jan 2019
Forum Posts: 60

No pro fanny tease

 (No profanities)

There once was a rude limerick    
Who wanted to take the mick    
So just like Duchamp    
He entered the comp    
As if to say “Suck my fat ..........    
     
Dick liked to fish, trap and hunt    
On the ponies he enjoyed a punt    
But there was nothing more    
That he did adore      
Than the feeling of a warm, wet........    
     
Country music rarely has brass    
But you’ll hear fiddle and guitars    
If you feel root’n toot’n      
Then go out boot scootin’    
Just watch ya don't get kicked in the…....      
     
Arsonists in the cockpit    
Were not able to outwit    
The air marshal in a dress    
Disguised as an air hostess    
Now they're in a whole world of.........    
     
Shiitake shrooms with lemon duck    
Some feathers they forgot to pluck    
On my chair I fell back    
As it went “QUACK! QUACK!!”    
"It’s still alive!   What the .............      
     
Fucsias are lovely pink flowers    
I can just sit and watch them for hours    
They do really well    
At masking the smell    
Of your mum's favorite hobby; golden showers!      
     
     
     
 
Written by RexDurkin
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cabcool
cabcool
Fire of Insight
Jamaica
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Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 137

Thank you for your entry, RexDurkin .
At first I had thought you were shirkin'.
In just a short time,
We draw the red line.
I'm glad your lim finger is workin'.

cab

wallyroo92
wallyroo92
Dangerous Mind
United States
66awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 815

Zen and the Art of Fart

(a story in 5 limericks)

The grandmaster seemed to have a sixth sense,
Meditating amidst jade and incense,
When in silence so profound,
The grandmaster made a sound,
That some of us described as flatulence.

We looked at each other in disbelief,
Still staying quiet like a falling leaf,
Resonance like assonance,
Surely sounded like flatulence,
When again, grandmaster found more relief.

But the grandmaster kept still nonetheless,
Deep in meditation with some finesse,
As we kept to reverence,
We could smell the flatulence,
Which the grandmaster would not address.

Our minds could no longer contemplate,
It had become difficult to meditate,
The grandmaster deep in thought,
By now had been clearly caught,
Gases he was trying to liberate!

But the grandmaster then it seemed,
Broke loud wind like we’ve never heard or seen,
Then with wisdom and guidance,
The grandmaster broke his silence,
And said: Excuse me, but I blame the beans.
Written by wallyroo92
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spacemod69
spacemod69
Twisted Dreamer
Australia
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Joined 13th May 2019
Forum Posts: 8

Morning Routine

A puppy dog, not wanting to eat
Sat down on her plaid covered seat
Refusing all food
Put Dad in a bad mood
Started steaming from all of the heat
Written by spacemod69
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admin
admin
DU Webmistress
Mistress of the Underground
1awards   profile   ?

The winner of this competition and any runners up were decided by public vote.

Thank you to the following members for voting:

JusTim_, FromTheAsh, LivDiane, Ely, Billy_Snagg, Marks, Tallen, Eerie, DawnRaider, Stoney223, Hepcat61, Layla, cabcool, Heaven_sent_Kathy, Amorous_tryst, SatInUGal, AnonymousBystander, admin, eswaller, David_Macleod, _shadoe_, SilverBeaver_42

Josh
Josh
Dangerous Mind
Portugal
21awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 2nd Feb 2017
Forum Posts: 330

Wow, that was a surprise in my feed just now. Thank you to all voters - to cabcool for running the comp - and for the interesting reads from all the other contributors.

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