Poetry competition CLOSED 30th March 2019 6:44am
WINNER
alcedoathis
View Profile Poems by alcedoathis
rosette
RUNNERS-UP: Miss_Sub and blocat

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jokes of january

poet
David_Macleod
David Macleod
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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How many Buddhist Monks doe it take to change a lightbulb?

A)  0 because there is no lightbulb but the light within

poet
blocat
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom
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Joined 1st Nov 2012
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Dead Clever

This is another 400 word comp entry it's good practice in being concise..

‘What a glorious island darling sunshine, beautiful sea, this romantic bungalow, our own sailing dinghy. Simply perfect.’

‘Drink your iced tea my dear or it’ll get warm.’

Moira drank deeply ‘shall I call the houseboy to bring more?’

‘I gave him the afternoon off dearest.’

‘Well I've had enough tea anyway.’

Yes, you certainly have my dear.’

Whatever do you mean John?’

‘I poisoned yours dearest you’ll be dying soon then I’ll have all your lovely money.’

‘Oh you silly boy did you think I didn’t realise why you brought me to this remote place? I swapped glasses when you went to the loo.’

He smiled knowingly ‘I knew you suspected me darling, that’s why I poisoned my glass not yours. I simply let you switch.

‘Really? That was clever.’

John smirked ‘I've bribed the police chief to falsify cause of death my sweet. A thousand now, two thousand on receipt of your death certificate. That’s eighteen months pay on these impoverished islands. These poor, simple people are so easily bribed you know.’

She grinned broadly ‘You know the trouble with clever people John is that sometimes they run away with the idea that they’re the only clever people.’

‘What on earth do you mean darling?’

‘I knew you'd try to murder me for my money. I also knew you’d use poison. You simply haven’t the guts for violence beloved. I also noticed that our glasses were not quite identical. Yours has a tiny chip in the base so you’d know which was which.’

‘So why swap them?’

‘Ah that’s my clever bit. I poured the contents of your cup into the empty tea jug then poured mine into yours. I then poured the poisoned tea back into mine.’

John looked aghast but before he could reply the houseboy entered.

‘I thought I gave you the afternoon off?’

‘Yes sir but I came back to remove your bodies.’

Moira looked astounded ‘What on earth is going on?’

The boy smiled ‘I poisoned the whole jug before I left.’

‘John was horrified ‘But why?’

‘You have ten thousand in cash, your cards and jewellery are worth thousands more.’ The boy laughed ‘you’ll be put in the dinghy and sent out to sea. A tragic Accident.’

‘But how....?

‘My uncle’s the police chief sir he’s a very clever man and we poor, simple people are so easily bribed you know.’
Written by blocat
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poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1577

Keep 'em coming , Dave

Blocat, apsolutely poisonous!


and by the way,
mixing  infatuation  with politics,

ms. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez
is one candy date I might also vote for

poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1577

The artists painting was a period piece.

poet
clewluss
SMOOKY
Twisted Dreamer
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Joined 22nd Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 207

close the door.
that was close.

poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1577

I loved every ones entrys.especially the elevator one.

So I have awarded each and every one of you a trophy and paypalled everyone 50....  Just joking

TTFN

poet
David_Macleod
David Macleod
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 1322

what is brown and green, has 4 legs and if it fell out a tree it would certainly kill you??????

a)  A Full sized snooker table

poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1577

Are you Sirius???

No, I'm Canopus.

poet
alcedoathis
Twisted Dreamer
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Joined 26th June 2015
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Thanks. I'll take this for the whole country. Only medal we'll be seeing for awhile!

poet
David_Macleod
David Macleod
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 1322

THNAKS FOR THE LAUGHS :-)))))))))))))))))))))

poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1577

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS EVERYONE!


...but I am having nightmares..

poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 1577

Deaf Comedy Jam

poet
David_Macleod
David Macleod
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 1322

what did one sperm say to the other?

I really fancy an egg this morning

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