Poetry competition CLOSED 12th February 2019 3:04am
WINNER
Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
RUNNER-UP:
Tallen
Page:
Poetry Medics Group
Poetry Contest Description
Critequage -------- (I invented this word: LOL)
Ok, here is an unusual competition
it is a chance to critique Classics
Pick one verse of a classic poem
and rewrite it with your voice
and your unique style
20 lines or less
post original verse and credit it
No extreme content
no collabs
Have fun
4 weeks
Cloud Bridge Twinkles
Amidst inter-cosmic space
white holes emit a celebration
of celestial snowflakes
flitting about like sparkling
mosquitoes commensurating
to universal nth degrees
dazzling our optical orbs
to wonder!
Emission nebulas imbue moon rays;
beams birthed from light absorption
of nearby stars
while on solid earth,
clouded translucent tears
glisten upon each blade of green
in an abstract respect
for clouds and nebulas ----
an inter-connected union.
*********************************
with Permission the above is based on:
10th verse:
Raindrop Smiles
The night explodes with fireflies
Small blinking stars light up your eyes
Thin moonbeams shine in silken glass
Clear droplets bead on crystal grass
_____________________________________________
Written by Mourningcloak
Published 17th March 2014
Modified 4th April 2014
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/154418-raindrop-smiles/
white holes emit a celebration
of celestial snowflakes
flitting about like sparkling
mosquitoes commensurating
to universal nth degrees
dazzling our optical orbs
to wonder!
Emission nebulas imbue moon rays;
beams birthed from light absorption
of nearby stars
while on solid earth,
clouded translucent tears
glisten upon each blade of green
in an abstract respect
for clouds and nebulas ----
an inter-connected union.
*********************************
with Permission the above is based on:
10th verse:
Raindrop Smiles
The night explodes with fireflies
Small blinking stars light up your eyes
Thin moonbeams shine in silken glass
Clear droplets bead on crystal grass
_____________________________________________
Written by Mourningcloak
Published 17th March 2014
Modified 4th April 2014
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/154418-raindrop-smiles/
Written by Tallen
(earth_empath)
Go To Page
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
*Old Tom & the Tiger
( a Sonnet )
The time that I have spent away from home
Has never been like there and yet the same.
To take me back but limit where I'd roam
That brought me down each time the winter came.
Most times while deep in thought while I would tread,
Ignoring humans even though I'd see
From shadow's movement when I'd raise my head,
For there you'd be, Old Tom, amusing me.
The bitter cold of rain would have me think
About the trees and grasslands of my birth,
Before my mother's lessons were extinct,
And since, companionship of your full worth.
You always know just when the time is right
To visit with your queen to her delight.
*With gratitude for Geoff's permission of my piece based on his original write, shown copy/pasted below:
OLD TOM AND THE TIGER
(a nursery sonnet)
The tiger knew no cage but “habitat”
She was the queen of her half-block domain
She’d rest in summer shade like any cat
But then would come the cold mid-winter rain
Old Tom, would lounge as well and watch her stalk
As she would pace and watch the humans stare
Old Tom would stride and match her walk for walk
And she would smile to watch his strutting there
But with the rain his queen would barely stir
These frigid rains that made her feel so sick,
So lost, then came a rustle in her fur
It was Old Tom with nip and tug and lick
Old Tom would stay and play with her awhile
He always seemed to prod his tiger’s smile
Written by Hepcat61 (geoff cat)
Published 26th May 2016
The time that I have spent away from home
Has never been like there and yet the same.
To take me back but limit where I'd roam
That brought me down each time the winter came.
Most times while deep in thought while I would tread,
Ignoring humans even though I'd see
From shadow's movement when I'd raise my head,
For there you'd be, Old Tom, amusing me.
The bitter cold of rain would have me think
About the trees and grasslands of my birth,
Before my mother's lessons were extinct,
And since, companionship of your full worth.
You always know just when the time is right
To visit with your queen to her delight.
*With gratitude for Geoff's permission of my piece based on his original write, shown copy/pasted below:
OLD TOM AND THE TIGER
(a nursery sonnet)
The tiger knew no cage but “habitat”
She was the queen of her half-block domain
She’d rest in summer shade like any cat
But then would come the cold mid-winter rain
Old Tom, would lounge as well and watch her stalk
As she would pace and watch the humans stare
Old Tom would stride and match her walk for walk
And she would smile to watch his strutting there
But with the rain his queen would barely stir
These frigid rains that made her feel so sick,
So lost, then came a rustle in her fur
It was Old Tom with nip and tug and lick
Old Tom would stay and play with her awhile
He always seemed to prod his tiger’s smile
Written by Hepcat61 (geoff cat)
Published 26th May 2016
Written by Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Go To Page
The Sprays Whisper
In her tomb by the sounding sea,
See the waves crashing upon the shore,
And the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
Like timeless echoes in days of yore.
And with wonder one can see,
The way the tide suddenly sways and shifts,
As the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
A man watches from the edge of the cliffs.
But the figure who is so distant and lonely,
Stares at the waves completely engrossed,
As the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
He seems to hover like a desolate ghost.
Standing upon the rocks Poe’s the only-
Who dwells in the pain of love that death stole,
As the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
Watching the waves wash away his soul.
_______________________________________________________
Annabel Lee
by Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
In her tomb by the sounding sea,
See the waves crashing upon the shore,
And the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
Like timeless echoes in days of yore.
And with wonder one can see,
The way the tide suddenly sways and shifts,
As the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
A man watches from the edge of the cliffs.
But the figure who is so distant and lonely,
Stares at the waves completely engrossed,
As the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
He seems to hover like a desolate ghost.
Standing upon the rocks Poe’s the only-
Who dwells in the pain of love that death stole,
As the sprays whisper Annabel Lee,
Watching the waves wash away his soul.
_______________________________________________________
Annabel Lee
by Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
