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Poetry competition CLOSED 25th September 2018 9:47am
WINNER
ReggiePoet (Reggie)
ReggiePoet (Reggie)
RUNNERS-UP:
seekingkate
and Josh
C U Next Tuesday
Related submission no longer exists.
Related submission no longer exists.
C U Next Tuesday
I don’t mean anything mean by it,
It’s just a stimulating word to say,
But it’s a very a nice description,
Of the way some people behave.
I like the British enunciation to it,
It just seems to roll off the tongue,
It feels like a proper show stopper,
And it’s better than throwing dung.
It’s a cunning insult when said right,
I’m sure some of you will concur,
But sometimes dicks and assholes,
Need to hear the derogatory slur.
We must speak the truth with them,
Just be calm, honest and up front,
The polite insult will get the attention,
Of the intended entitled cunt.
Some deserve to be called on it,
Loudly and as bluntly as possible,
You know they have it coming,
(No pun intended) it’s comical.
It’s a term for both the sexes,
For those who deserve it so,
When inconsiderate morons,
Really need to take it slow.
But once in a long while,
Someone will pull this stunt,
And that’s a special kind of
Super mega thunder cunt.
I don’t mean anything mean by it,
It’s just a stimulating word to say,
But it’s a very a nice description,
Of the way some people behave.
I like the British enunciation to it,
It just seems to roll off the tongue,
It feels like a proper show stopper,
And it’s better than throwing dung.
It’s a cunning insult when said right,
I’m sure some of you will concur,
But sometimes dicks and assholes,
Need to hear the derogatory slur.
We must speak the truth with them,
Just be calm, honest and up front,
The polite insult will get the attention,
Of the intended entitled cunt.
Some deserve to be called on it,
Loudly and as bluntly as possible,
You know they have it coming,
(No pun intended) it’s comical.
It’s a term for both the sexes,
For those who deserve it so,
When inconsiderate morons,
Really need to take it slow.
But once in a long while,
Someone will pull this stunt,
And that’s a special kind of
Super mega thunder cunt.
Heavenly Haiku
From where I became
And strive so hard to return
Is heaven, not cunt
So, my sweet angel
Let me taste your paradise
That I might know God
And strive so hard to return
Is heaven, not cunt
So, my sweet angel
Let me taste your paradise
That I might know God
Written by snugglebuck
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C.U.N.T.
(Can’t Understand Null Theory)
Null Theory is
the ASSUMPTION
that there is no relationship between
two measureable phenomena, or
groups of data.
Simple definition?
Of course, but…….
given the inquisitiveness of
science-minded geeks people, we
must statistically prove this to be true.
To prove (or disprove) this, any
good scientist knows that data gathering
is of the utmost importance, when
attempting to mold the mind from
C.U.N.T (Can’t Understand Null Theory,
to F.U.N.T (Fully Understanding Null Theory).
Say, for example, our two data sets are:
1. Ex-husbands, and
2. Bone-cell dissolving drugs.
We could hypothesize by saying:
“There is no relationship between ex-husbands
and bone-cell dissolving drugs”, then set out
to prove this.
How?
By giving all ex-husbands, the drug
then watching for and measuring the effects.
For amusement’s sake, we will refer to the ex-husbands
as “Bastards”
since in a previous experiment, we have proven them to be so.
If the bone cell-dissolving drugs do not
have any effect on them, then
we have proven our Null Theory statement to be true, that
being no association between the group populations.
But…if the bone dissolving drugs do indeed have an effect
on the ex-husbands, such that they disintegrate their
spinal column vertebrae for example, then
we have disproven our Null Theory statement, but
have solidified yet another theory, that
ex-husbands are indeed,
spineless bastards.
(Can’t Understand Null Theory)
Null Theory is
the ASSUMPTION
that there is no relationship between
two measureable phenomena, or
groups of data.
Simple definition?
Of course, but…….
given the inquisitiveness of
science-minded
must statistically prove this to be true.
To prove (or disprove) this, any
good scientist knows that data gathering
is of the utmost importance, when
attempting to mold the mind from
C.U.N.T (Can’t Understand Null Theory,
to F.U.N.T (Fully Understanding Null Theory).
Say, for example, our two data sets are:
1. Ex-husbands, and
2. Bone-cell dissolving drugs.
We could hypothesize by saying:
“There is no relationship between ex-husbands
and bone-cell dissolving drugs”, then set out
to prove this.
How?
By giving all ex-husbands, the drug
then watching for and measuring the effects.
For amusement’s sake, we will refer to the ex-husbands
as “Bastards”
since in a previous experiment, we have proven them to be so.
If the bone cell-dissolving drugs do not
have any effect on them, then
we have proven our Null Theory statement to be true, that
being no association between the group populations.
But…if the bone dissolving drugs do indeed have an effect
on the ex-husbands, such that they disintegrate their
spinal column vertebrae for example, then
we have disproven our Null Theory statement, but
have solidified yet another theory, that
ex-husbands are indeed,
spineless bastards.
Grotto
(A Rensaku = linked tanka)
first time
while adrift in a skiff
sun bears down
in the nudeness of skin
unrelenting, willful
•
swelling waves
craggy cliffs go blurry
motor purrs
last minute regret
now fevered resolve
•
going in
you think of nothing
primal scream
thoughts gone feral
gripping, guiding rudder
•
whirlpool
vortex-sucking hull
awareness
pray to any god
cry out that you love her
•
letting go
spiritual orgasm
that’s what you’ll tell her
flat-bottom, passed out
the skiff’s blue reflection
•
Written by Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
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ANOTHER WORD FOR...
Cowboy-C.U. Next Tuesday
First thing in the morning,
'cause you got to pee,
you roll over in bed...
and without by-your-leave,
you reach out and grab me.
Put me on... like a sock!
I was deep in a dream
and it comes as a shock... to know...
you were down hanging out with the guys...
recounting our lives...
and describing our sex life in vivid detail...which later you claim
is a quality male!
And it goes without saying
that each "Piece of Ass"
shall be taken from storage
and held to the glass...
Strangely: I'm not so sure
what I feel...
You are such a...Cloddish...Useless...Nit-brained...Twit!
What a wit... less wonder...
Aargggh!...
And now this rednecked, arsehole, Cowboy-booted-CUNT!
¿wonders why I'M pissed off?
'cause you got to pee,
you roll over in bed...
and without by-your-leave,
you reach out and grab me.
Put me on... like a sock!
I was deep in a dream
and it comes as a shock... to know...
you were down hanging out with the guys...
recounting our lives...
and describing our sex life in vivid detail...which later you claim
is a quality male!
And it goes without saying
that each "Piece of Ass"
shall be taken from storage
and held to the glass...
Strangely: I'm not so sure
what I feel...
You are such a...Cloddish...Useless...Nit-brained...Twit!
What a wit... less wonder...
Aargggh!...
And now this rednecked, arsehole, Cowboy-booted-CUNT!
¿wonders why I'M pissed off?
Written by Ely
(E.A.Rothwell)
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Thing of Beauty
“The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.”
—Andre Gide
(a sonnet)
How sweet the iron taste like legion’s nail,
That hammer swing that drives it fully in,
How bitter follows, all that I assail,
As wine and milk combine, remove my sin!
Communion stains on tongues of opened night,
Where heads are bowed in supplication’s feast.
And risen folk, in offered prayers delight,
Seek freely taste of nocturne’s sanguine priest.
As curtains, purple, red, would seek divide,
And keep my worship far from inner room,
My sought forgiveness will not be denied,
And soon the priestess’ sacraments consume.
From taint of human lust, I am made clean,
With blood of human life’s absolving wean.
(period sex)
—Andre Gide
(a sonnet)
How sweet the iron taste like legion’s nail,
That hammer swing that drives it fully in,
How bitter follows, all that I assail,
As wine and milk combine, remove my sin!
Communion stains on tongues of opened night,
Where heads are bowed in supplication’s feast.
And risen folk, in offered prayers delight,
Seek freely taste of nocturne’s sanguine priest.
As curtains, purple, red, would seek divide,
And keep my worship far from inner room,
My sought forgiveness will not be denied,
And soon the priestess’ sacraments consume.
From taint of human lust, I am made clean,
With blood of human life’s absolving wean.
(period sex)
Written by Hepcat61
(geoff cat)
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C-U-N-T
A positive slant on a word that is more often than not used derogatorily.
C Courageous
U Understanding
N Never
T Tame
C Courageous
U Understanding
N Never
T Tame
Written by seekingkate
(kateA)
Go To Page
cunt talk
Will there be playtime?
Yes my darling, there’ll be playtime
When?
Soon my sweet, he’ll be here soon
What games will I play?
I suspect all those games you’ve played before
Will you and him talk for long?
Hmm, I don't know…it’s been a while, maybe so
What about me?
I’m sure you’ll get his full attention, after all it’s you he's coming to see
Will you make me look pretty?
Of course I will my lovely, though there's not much to do because you're already gorgeous
I’m excited
So am I
Why's it been so long?
I guess he’s been busy
Will he come again after today?
I hope so, but we’ll have to wait and see
I don’t like waiting, I want to play every day
I know you do but you need to remember, there’s more to life than fucking
Like what?
Out of the mouths of babes…
No, tell me, what's more important?
Lets not have a serious discussion when he'll be here soon and we'll all be fucking
What? You too?
Of course, me too! As much as you like to think you’re a separate entity, a living organism that thinks and feels, and grant it, you do have a mind of your own /
I thought you said we weren’t going to have a serious discussion?
I did, but apparently this needs to be said AGAIN because YOU keep forgetting it! You are my cunt, you’re attached to me, whatever enjoyment is on offer is offered to me. Grant it, you may be the reason he comes but I’m part of the fucking package!
Don’t get you knickers in a twist!
I’m not! I’m not wearing any 'cause I want easy access
Now you’re talking my language
You bet I am and remember whatever you experience will be directed by me
Just make sure I come
Demanding now, are we?
No, but it’s been a while since I had the real thing
Nag, nag, nag…I keep you happy so stop complaining
I’m not complaining, I’m just saying /
Look, I do what I can but I’m not going to hawk it just to /
Why not, it'd make life interesting
We’re not going there, OK?
Got to think about it, eh?
NO!
When's he coming?
Shit...very soon, let’s freshen you up, make you look pretty
Yeah, now you’re talking, let’s make the most of his fucking!
Written by seekingkate
(kateA)
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cunt talk 2
Finally decided to show your face
Are you the one who got the pounding? I think NOT
How many times do I have to tell you? You are me and I am you
Yeah, yeah, yeah…you don’t look a pretty picture either you know
What’s wrong with me? Don’t answer. You came, so why the bitching?
I’m not bitching. If you must know, I'm a bit worse for wear
Really?
Having the real thing is not like you and the vibrator, I was on the front line...and proud of it.
You’re full of your own fucking self importance
‘Fucking being THE operative word and I got it and you didn’t!
Gone is the Miss Innocent act once she gets what she wants
Pfft…Well, are we on for round 2?
You’re bitching about round 1 and now you want round 2. What are you?
Lean, mean, fighting machine…bring it on…and I never bitch about fucking
It's a wait and see situation
Wait and see? Can’t you sell me a bit better? Get a guarantee? Pencil it in? No, better than that, have him write it in blood, indelible ink, anything!
Sometimes its best to let things unfold, you know savour what was experienced
You know that’s a load of crap, you’re talking to me remember, one and the same /
Ok, Ok...like you, I’d fuck him every day /
But what?
It's an adult thing
Are you saying I'm not?
Sometimes I wonder
Hmpf...I’m going to lick my wounds
What wounds?
It’s a figure of speech, wake me up when he comes back
Not before other parts of me have our way with him
Yeah, like that’s going to happen. I’m all over you red rover!
You reckon?
Yep
Those sound like fighting words so lets see who gets in first, shall we?
You're on!
Written by seekingkate
(kateA)
Go To Page
C-U-N-T
Called by many other names
Undercarriage juicy bits
Not just their for playing games
The place that femininity admits
Cut just like the ripest peach
Unopened labia the norm
Nestled contemplating the opportunist
The entrance waiting for something firm
Corm hiding the bursting flower
Uncontrollable flames of musk
Neath its silken furry cover
Tasking the multi slit of lust
Can its power ever fail to please
Uniqueness every woman needs
Natures bounty monthly bleeds
Till fertile ground with barren seed
Cavern warmed that precious gland
Unlock the pearl within that clam
Nether regions framed shop front
Tantalize with its promontory bump
Cathode and the anode hump
Unguent words for birthrights mounts
Natures passage the human font
To decry it and you are just that CUNT
Undercarriage juicy bits
Not just their for playing games
The place that femininity admits
Cut just like the ripest peach
Unopened labia the norm
Nestled contemplating the opportunist
The entrance waiting for something firm
Corm hiding the bursting flower
Uncontrollable flames of musk
Neath its silken furry cover
Tasking the multi slit of lust
Can its power ever fail to please
Uniqueness every woman needs
Natures bounty monthly bleeds
Till fertile ground with barren seed
Cavern warmed that precious gland
Unlock the pearl within that clam
Nether regions framed shop front
Tantalize with its promontory bump
Cathode and the anode hump
Unguent words for birthrights mounts
Natures passage the human font
To decry it and you are just that CUNT
Written by slipalong
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