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Poetry competition CLOSED 29th August 2018 10:55pm
Miss_Sub (- Missy -)
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Blade Artist
Twisted Dreamer
United Kingdom
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Joined 2nd Feb 2017
Forum Posts: 84

Poetry Contest

There can be only one!
The DUP needs to show its appreciation for one of its most awesome eclectic writers. David Macleod of the clan Macleod. Like the massive swipe of a claymore his words cut deep. Like a deep fried Mars bar his words are unhealthy yet so fucking sweet.

Show you love with rhymes, haters need not apply......

- Missy -
Tyrant of Words
United Kingdom
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Joined 26th June 2011
Forum Posts: 7937

Captain Shitehawk

I was surfing Facebook one day
whilst sat on the loo
when his avatar appeared
and I thought ďI know youĒ

sent out a request
and was surprised he accepted
(which was a great relief
as Iím quite often rejected)

but we started to laugh
and swear like old troopers
taking jabs at the God squad
and opportunistic poopers.

Sometimes weíll ring each other
just to have a wee chat,
the dog will be on the floor
and on my lap, my old cat

and Iíll drone on about how
I canít wake the fuck up
as I fall back asleep
inside my cold tea cup

then he calls me a wart
and I call him a gnome
and a torrent of abuse
arrives on my phone

like jaffa-faced arse biscuit
as he swears like a trucker
and I always hit back
with moose knuckled fucker

and then it gets personal
and I face the full brunt:
ďKnobs on ya maw
ya trash diseased cuntĒ.

I donít know how Iíd cope
without our daily profanity,
in a strange way it gives me
a certain kind of sanity

so hereís to the Scots dude
in the orange biker hat,
when all is said and done
I still think youíre a twat.

jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 4613

Bonnie Macleod (Heís a Mod n cannae be banned!)

What could I say about the man?
(Pretending Iím in the know.)
His convictions, he makes a stand. †
Doesnít need innuendo! †
What should I say about the man? †
(That wonít hurt his manly pride.) †
His heart is big, heís gotta plan, †
Heís got his eye on a bride! †
† †
What would I say about the man? †
(That I donít already know.) †
Iím Scottish too, a bigger clan! †
Or does that count or not show? †
† †
From here Iíll break from form & verse and share this with you: †
† †
Re. Biohazard

Jade-Pandora (jade tiger) 21st June 2018 7:05pm †
*suddenly tears up weeps softly at the sight of the biohazard sign* †
† †
I saw these signs everywhere in the hospitals & facilities my dad was in the last few months of his life during last Christmas season before he passed on after a long fight with terminal colon/liver cancer. †He was 6í, 98 lbs. †I came upon this image and I just lost it... †
† †
Re: Re. Biohazard
David_Macleod (David Macleod) 27th June 2018 7:50am †
I am so sorry that this stirred these kind of memories and feelings - If you would like I would be happy to take it down :-)))))))) †
† †
Re: Re. Biohazard
Jade-Pandora (jade tiger) 27th June 2018 3:27pm †
Oh my friend... † † †
Iíll be okay. †It was just such a jolt to my system when I came to your visual poemís page. †But what a thoughtful gesture you were willing to make for me. †Thank you, youíre a descent man.
Written by Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
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Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 3rd Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 1716

I Hate David Macleod

I don't like David Macleod  
I don't like the guy
Not one bit, not at all  

Why; his poetry is better  
It makes the girls wetter  
Than anything I could letter  
So, I'll say it once again  
And ever more loud  
I hate David Macleod  


David is from England  
And I am an American  
Which means he's actually  
Smarter than I am  
And that makes me †
Want to have a cow
This is a satirical write about a fellow poet I admire. †So, before you message me on how disrespectful I am, please familiarize yourself as to the meaning of satire.
Written by snugglebuck
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Lost Thinker
United States
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Joined 6th Mar 2018
Forum Posts: 20

-State of Normalcy-

Punk/Thrash Metal/Rap

Too much interference. There's static in my head.
You will feel all my pain. Can you feel the coming dread?
Read between the lines as my middle fingers bleed. †
Back away before you die, you better take heed. †
-No time for patience...No time for peace. †
-No time for kindness...Your life is on lease. †
-No time for love...No time for tweats. †
-No time for passion and I got no time for creeps. †
So, you say your life's unfair. Well, who the fuck cares? †
You drift into my mind deranged, you'll see my fangs bared. †
And, cross your path with mine you better look the other way. †
'Cause since I hit the street it's been another fucked-up day. †
-Don't care about no color...Don't care about your views. †
-Don't care for you glances, so I'll beat you black and blue. †
-Don't you understand you're nothin'? Is your brain so fuckin' crip? †
-Don't care about your 'dis, so eat you own shit. †
We be...tossed and lost and smokin' dope, watching shit TV. †
So brainwashed in our daily rote, survival is our creed. †
But, once you had some-somethin' and be takin' from your pound, †
the loss is boss and fuck-you too, it's gone to feed the hounds. †
-There's nothin' left for you...There's nothin' left but more. †
-They chew you up and spit you out, those weasely fuckin' whores. †
-They look at us as sheep in the lair of all 'Dem creeps. †
-So when they out and come about it's all about the leash. †
Now, I've caught this fuckin' flu from this sick society. †
'Cause the State of Normalcy is all idiocracy. †
The point of no return is dead and now is buried deep. †
'Cause 'Dem fuckin' politicians sown what we all must eat. †
-Nothin' makes no sense, no more, especially in D.C. †
-Nothin' is our hope as creeps dine and sip their tea. †
-Nothin' seems to matter...Nothin' do they share. †
-Nothin' gonna come our way, you better be aware. †
-No time for patience...Always time for war. †
-No time for kindness...Look at all the gore. †
-No time for love...No time for tweats. †
-No time for passion. It's time to beat the Creeps.
Written by carpemax
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David Macleod
Tyrant of Words
United Kingdom
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Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 1960


I am wonderful
take it from me
I am so wonderful
that I never lie
especially about me

It's such a shame
many have still to
recognise my brilliance
Just a matter of time
how could one fail to see
the genius that is me

I used to be big headed
my ego not in check
I was as proud as punch
yet I didn't fall once
I was extremely boastful
I toasted myself always
but now I am just perfect
those faults, truly historical
I am humble not histerical

I am the whole package
I am the eighth wonder
I am the greatest of the great
I am the alpha and omega
I am the sun and moon
I am God, there is no other
Mary was never my mother

You will see me
you will love me
you will feel me
you will fall on your knees
you will bow before me
you will worship and praise
you will be in awe
I will win this competition
your votes are assured

Authors Note: This is not an entry to the competition, I just felt after carpemax's entry of some fucked/Trash Mental/Crap there had to be some balance  

Tyrant of Words
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Joined 20th Apr 2016
Forum Posts: 2293

Clan riddle

Whot is a Scott?
A hybrid from Iona
Whot is a cleod?
Aswer upon the silver dott
Raise your glass, lass
Quilts on!
The bagpipes are playing
What are you whispering about?
We scotts prefer to shout
Stern and proud

"Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?

Its the all mighty world famous
David Macleod!"

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