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Poetry competition CLOSED 6th August 2018 6:35am
WINNER
Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
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We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore!

MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Poetry Contest

Write the best f'd up/funniest/craziest/ wildest I quit my job scenario ever
Ever had a job or just started a job or in a job that you're like: " you know what I can't wait to just f**** quit!" and if so please write what would you do?, what would say to the people you hate?, how would you do it in the most memorable way?
And describe in detail what you would do and all the things you wish you had the guts for.
No matter how crazy, wild, provocative, violent, funny, weird, stupid, and insane tell what would you do if you had,what did you do? (if you actually did these things true stories are allowed) to quit.

Rules:
~One entry only
~ Can be as crazy, wild, funny, provocative, weird, violent, and insane as you want it to be for the fictional ones just keep it entertaining
~ For the nonfictional stories describe in detail what you did to quit your job and why
~ Can be as long as you want
~ Be creative

LunasChild8
Dangerous Mind
Canada 21awards
Joined 27th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 536

Kiss My Ass

I’ve seriously had enough of this bullshit
I’ve been working my ass off while Kathy regularly fucked you
That office slut always rubbed it in my face and dared me to quit
Well she’s getting her wish; I’m absolutely through…!
 
With this stressful job and shitty pay
And your intolerable attitude towards me  
You’ve claimed to have an open mind, but not once did you listen to what I had to say
Spending all day in the office, I’m just desperate to get free.
 
It’s an open secret that Kathy’s been fucking you
Yet no one’s brave enough to admit it out loud
I’ll prove that by messing with me you’ve both bitten off more than you can chew
And I won’t even have to make a sound.
 
George and Jennifer are more than willing to help me out
This fantastic couple are hardly shy to try out my idea
As I look at the final results, I know that without a doubt
This will put an end to Kathy’s verbal diarrhea.
 
Monday morning, I arrive at work and sit down at my desk
Every coworker and even the branch supervisor have received my package
Brian opens the envelope at his desk right beside mine, and gawks as what he sees is grotesque  
More coworkers open the envelopes, and Maria mutters vulgarities in Spanish.
 
Kathy arrives at the office, and everyone goes quiet
She lifts an eyebrow at the scene, and immediately spots me
She carries a thermo in her hand, yet again undergoing a liquid diet
I wait for her calmly, while others would have flee.
 
She cocks her head at me. “Slept well, Rebecca?”
I barely hold back a smile. “Not as good as you, Kathy. Your bed’s always warm.”
Some men snicker, whereas Kathy removes her shades from Ella
“What are you talking about?” Brian speaks up. “Hey Kathy. I like your new dress uniform.”
 
Kathy grows frustrated. “What the hell are you guys talking about?”
“Why don’t you check out your cubicle, Kathy.” I tell her
She does so, and once she looks at the contents, she lets out a shout…
Of outrage and her face flushes pink. I let out a pleased purr.
 
George took Jennifer from behind as she’s bent over a desk
Thanks to photoshop, their faces were swapped for Kathy and my boss
I’m proud of myself; the quality of the scene is picturesque  
Angelina, the devout catholic, flushes in embarrassment and makes the sigh of the cross.
 
Kathy screeches like a banshee when my soon-to-be-ex boss shows up
He immediately walks over to Kathy and demands to know what’s wrong
He looks at the picture and his facial expression causes Martha to cough into her cup
“Kiss my ass, Hollander!” is written proudly on “Kathy’s ass” uncovered by the thong.
 
Hollander’s face is tomato red and he violently jerks his head around
“Who did this?!” He yells at us.
I stand up, and despite the asshole’s glare, I stand my ground
This is my moment, and I feel incredibly snug.
 
“I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but Kathy’s already doing that for you.”
Several men snicker to themselves, while Hollander’s face turns purple
“Watch yourself, Rebecca! I’ll fire you!”
I chuckle. “You can’t fire me. I quit.” My eyes sparkle.
 
I confidently walk towards the elevator
“Was nice working with all of you.” I pointedly don’t look at Kathy
A huge weight is lifted off my shoulders as I’m freed from this dictator
I glance back. “By the way, I’ve sent a copy of the picture to the supervisor, Ashley.”
Written by LunasChild8
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MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Damn that was quite an amazing first entry

Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States 154awards
Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5134

MsRockyJackson said:Damn that was quite an amazing first entry

That’s why I haven’t entered, Ms Rocky-Rock...

After that entry, I’m still finding pieces of myself lying about after being blown away!🤯

LunasChild8
Dangerous Mind
Canada 21awards
Joined 27th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 536

Thank you both for your kind comments! I'm glad you enjoyed my entry.

MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Jade-Pandora said:

That’s why I haven’t entered, Ms Rocky-Rock...

After that entry, I’m still finding pieces of myself lying about after being blown away!🤯

Please enter Jade especially since no ones really entered

MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Come on everyone keep posting!

Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States 154awards
Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5134

MsRockyJackson said:
Please enter Jade especially since no ones really entered


Well MsRocky, you make it hard to deny your request.  There’s still a week left for me to gather up my strength, so ...let’s see what happens.  

🐾

Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States 154awards
Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5134

Related submission no longer exists.

eswaller
Dangerous Mind
United States 30awards
Joined 22nd Dec 2015
Forum Posts: 749

Hating This Job

I hate this job. I wish I could burn it all
Down with my bare hands. My boss
Is a jackass and every employee
Keeps typing away at their small cubicle.
Fire!! Screaming so loud even the wall
Shakes. Scattering papers all across
The room causing chaos and noisy
Disruptions. Life is like the crucible.
Everything turning into dust and ash.
I wish I could be brave and brash.
Written by eswaller
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MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Related submission no longer exists.

Black-kwacha
Strange Creature
Zambia
Joined 25th July 2018
Forum Posts: 2

wow..thats great

MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Since I'm not seeing enough entries I will give everyone one more week

cabcool
Guardian of Shadows
Jamaica 12awards
Joined 27th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 740

i quit!

you milk my brains to remedy
     your dark, anaemic greed  
you plagiarise my passions, claim  
     my mileage as your speed  
flying on feathers cruelly plucked  
     from my declining wings  
my tired shoulders giant perch  
     from whence you stage your flings  
   
today i take my intellect  
     you shall not milk me dry  
i snatch my wing wind—sorry sight  
     you plummet from the sky  
enough is enough when politics  
     has marred your cunning wit  
she picks her teeth and as you phartz  
     triumphantly i quit!  
   
© Copyright 2018 August 3  
by Clyve A. Bowen
Written by cabcool
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slipalong
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 41awards
Joined 1st Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 822

The finger hiaku 5-7-5

Fingers in all pies
gave it my best shot and tried
stuck it up goodby

no glad hand delighted
swivel on this you mother fucker
My C V wont suffer
Written by slipalong
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