Poetry competition CLOSED 26th June 2018 7:29pm
WINNER
RevolutionAL (Alistair Plint)
View Profile Poems by RevolutionAL
rosette
RUNNER-UP: Northern1

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annoying /obnoxious  poem

SimpleTon
Thought Provoker
United Kingdom 1awards
Joined 29th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 22

Poetry Contest

Write the most annoying/ obnoxious poem or song lyrics you can imagine.
Any length
Any topic
Resubmissions welcome
Reworking old poems welcome
Funnier the better
Be imaginative


Here is one i made earlier called God bless obnioxouness:

Do we
Do Do we
Do we annoy you ?  
x3 chorus
 
Being obnoxious is a gift
God bless obnoxiousness X3
 

It's clear were not popular here  
Forgive us if we do not shed a tear
We will just open another Pepsi or beer
We will never offer you a taste
Burp in your face and leave the empty bottle at your place
Our music ain't to your taste
Our base makes your house shake
Our party keeps your ass awake
Who cares we ain't mates
Your Silence speaks volumes
Our volume keeps going up
You do not want us around
like GPS  we will track you down  
were gonna party  
Swearing loudly
Singing  badly
dancing madly  
we are trashy
It makes you sad but makes us happy  X3

Northern1
Fire of Insight
Iceland
Joined 15th Apr 2016
Forum Posts: 223

But I Really Like You

Your mouth is south
Your breath is death
Your smile is vile
Your eyes are lies
Your ears are smears
Your nose is a hose
Your tongue is a prong
Your chin is thin
Your brain is a stain
Your head is dead
Your neck is a wreck
Your throat is a moat
Your shoulders are boulders
Your tits are zits
Your belly is jelly
Your back is a sack
Your ass is a mass
Your cock is a sock
Your thighs are sties
Your toes are gross
Your thumb is numb
Your nails are fails
Your flesh is a mesh
Your bones are stones
Your veins are drains
Your blood is mud
Your heart is a fart
Written by Northern1
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runaway-mindtrain
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 30th July 2017
Forum Posts: 752

All of a sudden I have an urge to put my thang in your hoo hoo

 
act i
"Damn she is all kinda fine!" said the slick horny toad
Jumpin' over the citified moon to get a new piece of o'
The sky now in view with his glasses tinted all the way
A pimp in a green suit shinin' bling as the light of day...
  
act ii  
"So my dear what brings you here to the southwest?"  
A tall drink of water did exclaim with no inside jest  
"Oh but baby don't you need a drink of me instead?"
As the curvy cocktail glass sashayed and spilled lest...
 
act iii
A rock-biter meets girl Rockette in never-ending storyland
His father hired a bar mitzvah band with a shiny new van
He rubbed his stones on her harden love with sexy intent
But lost his keys in the cottage cheese thus had to lament...
 
act iv
So... the proton sent a text to the electron asking for a date
Then like lightning across the sky, she accepted with no haste
They walked the edge of the atomic structure to find a place
And nine months later a neutron burst forth without a chase...
Written by runaway-mindtrain
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SimpleTon
Thought Provoker
United Kingdom 1awards
Joined 29th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 22

Well done. Thank you for submitting both Northern1 andandrunaway-mindtrain runaway-mindtrain

gazellemon
Bradley J
Fire of Insight
United States 6awards
Joined 6th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 372

no1 lieks shet

gazellemon (Bradley J)
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luv meks me sid..
no1 luvs mea 4 hoo i amz,
dey tel mea 2 jus b mea,
boot no1 lieks shet,
i tri 2 b gret,
i juan 2 wen trofy
so da werld taks mea cerelouslee
boot no1 lez poo in2 compitizon,
dey sey i wil imbaris mai selph,
dey soo dum,
liek rely dum,
shet can b gret fertalazer,
liek.. cerelouslee rely gret,
u no mashroms gro in poo rite?
I tred 2 tell dem i culd be mashroms 2,
dey laf
.. i cri evertiem

Heaven_sent_Kathy
Thought Provoker
United States 9awards
Joined 1st Nov 2017
Forum Posts: 177

Related submission no longer exists.

SimpleTon
Thought Provoker
United Kingdom 1awards
Joined 29th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 22

Many thanks for the submissions gazellemon and
Heaven sent Kathy - great stuff

Chimaera76
Lost Thinker
United States 1awards
Joined 28th May 2018
Forum Posts: 29

The Albatross

Stumbled blindly through my 30’s but I always end up numb  
It seems I fell asleep and then woke up 41
I offer you a seat but now it’s really close we lay
As you speak I’m tripping slowly over everything you say
I bite my tongue until it bleeds, here’s my shoulder for your tears
I’ve gathered up all your needs, here’s a closet for your fears  
I’m following an albatross and the water is so clean  
But I fell lost inside her waves so I will come back now as steam
I’ll take these sea ridden legs right onto solid ground  
And search this whole damn island till I find a simpler sound
 
I can’t be certain but I’m pretty sure I sat engulfed in frozen fear
And I can’t for the life of me recall the drive from there to here  
I took the path that was laid out for me by the stars  
And came away from this with no visible scars
You asked me for a hand but my handshake you refused  
I can see now it was your superego that was bruised
I never could resist when you asked, “Stay with me tonight?”
For I don’t want to be alone, I’m much too haunted by the light
The days never get shorter and the nights they last forever  
Putting everything off until the next side of never
 
I must have been mistaken, you were just here but now you’re gone
As I lay awake, still, as the day cracks into dawn
Have you ever heard silence? It sounds just like your own voice
I choose not to remember (as if I had a choice)
I picked up all my things and then myself off the floor
Heading out to walk astray, and perhaps I’ll find the cure
There’s been no one to check in with for a few years as it seems
But it don’t matter to me much, I never sleep…but only dream
Written by Chimaera76
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Chimaera76
Lost Thinker
United States 1awards
Joined 28th May 2018
Forum Posts: 29

Confessional @ 1am

I'd have you in for tea, but you've seen just how I live
So I ask you, “Night, tell me, is that really all you've got to give?”
Spastic inclinations formed by drastic elations
You’ve got me talking in quotations as I lay in exudation
I can’t pinpoint just when it was that I lost power
But this once bittersweet has all but turned to sour
I swallowed up my dignity and glanced upon your shadow
Then I woke up in France inside a rundown chateau
As she twisted her head to the side with a quirk
"How have you been?" she said with a smirk
I can see right through your eyes as if they’re made of glass
That award winning grin, she angles with class
I've left it, as they say, inside the hands of fate
So the next time I choose teams I'll be sure you participate
This difficult climb, not for the faint of heart
Let me stop you right there before you even start
I've run away again, till I’m lost out of sight
Holding on for one more day, and maybe one more night…
So here is my confessional, I’m well aware it’s 1 A.M.
But my eyes just will not close and my thoughts refuse to mend…
Written by Chimaera76
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poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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RevolutionAL
Alistair Plint
Dangerous Mind
South Africa 29awards
Joined 24th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1257

A Neighbourhood Letter .

                
               
               
( A Circular Letter )                
               
               
I believe it was Thursday, last. At approximately seven in the evening. A rather tall, unshaven chap wearing little for the imagination was strolling along the main road. Well I was flabergasted.        
       
"Some thing needs to be done" was my thinking driving past. It was time to be pro-active! Taking matters into my own hands, I stopped at the curb when the fellow walked past and shouted from the window.        
       
"Hey you, have you no shame? You could be raped by some mad woman or even robbed and raped. What's worse is you're giving all men a bad name parading around teasing women, minding their own business. You look like a sex invitation."  
   
Well he looked at me like I was completely insane, then retorted "How dare you judge me, mind your own business. I wear what makes me comfortable."    
   
Men today are full of the tease and slease. For this reason I have drafted this letter as a warning. Beware of the main road. There is a male whore, asking for it. He won't listen to good reason. He must be a heathen.                
               
Stay safe, my neighbourhood friends.                
               
               
Signed              
               
               
               
A Concerned Citizen                
               
 
Written by RevolutionAL (Alistair Plint)
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mohghufroncholid
Moh. Ghufron Cholid
Strange Creature
Indonesia
Joined 8th June 2018
Forum Posts: 3

If we choose good life we can good life with other. Every one leader for self

mohghufroncholid
Moh. Ghufron Cholid
Strange Creature
Indonesia
Joined 8th June 2018
Forum Posts: 3

Final prayer is winner in this world and last world

mohghufroncholid
Moh. Ghufron Cholid
Strange Creature
Indonesia
Joined 8th June 2018
Forum Posts: 3

We win to gether after prayer

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