Bardic Duel

The Rules Are As Follows :

You Must Rhyme Well And Post In Good Meter ;

Quantrains Are Suggested , Though Not Necessary ;

The Post May Be Of Any Length , Yet Leave Room For Others To Reply ;

The Words May Be Barbed , Razor Sharp , Cut To The Bone ,
Yet Must Also Contain Rapier Wit And Humor ;

Personal Attacks On A Member Will Not Be Tolerated , Yet Attacks
As Per Wit , Intelligence , Buffoonery , Ability To Think , Or Phrase
Words , Or The Past Verses Posted Themselves , As Per Quality Of
Writing , Will Not Only Be Tolerated , Yet Encouraged !

In A Bardic Duel , Typically , As In Highlander There Can Be Only One !

All Others Lose Their Heads , And Fall Into The Loch , In A Cask With
No Key , After The Beheading ;

Oh , Yes , And As I Am Part Irish In Ancestry , Puns Are Heartily Welcomed !

( Voice Files Of Your Retort Are More Than Welcome )

Oh , Hopefully One Last Edit : I Open This Duel To Women , Not Just Men ,

Yet Men Beware ! They Are Known , For Good Reason , To Have A Sharp Tongue !

Now , Shall We Begin ?

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I Would Like To Assist Others In Truly Understanding What A Bardic Duel Is ;

I Will Be Adding This Link In The "Rules" At The Beginning Of The Thread :

https://nicoleevelina.com/2013/04/22/poets-most-powerful-celtic-satirists/

It Is Far Less About Teaching Yet Much More About Using Satire To Uplift Or Decimate

Thus Words As Literal "Magical Weapons" To Praise Or Blame In One Way Of Saying It

Bards As Satirists Were Known To Even Use Certain Poems / Spells To Kill Or Heal ;

So Please Consider That Is The Focus Here , That This Bardic Duel Is "Satire Theater" ,

Or A Stage On Which To Wage A War Of Words , While Having Great Fun Doing It !

As In The Bee And The Hind , Every Ass Might Get A Little Sting !

I Parry And Thrust

With My Words

And This I Must

So Wit Is Heard ;

So We Shall Gather

And Have Our Duel

Some Shall Prither Prather

And Play Verbose Fools ;

Yet We Shall Play The Bardic Game

And Have At Thee In Fun

And Call Each Other Loving Names

Until Some Start To Run !

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1AelA6FDqzk

A Thistle Phrase Can Get Under The Skin ,

A Thorn Word May Just Irritate ,

Wise As A Salmon Like The Mighty Finn ,

On Nine Hazelnuts Shall I Satiate ;

I May Be Freudian , Or May Re - Joyce

Or Just Symbolize One So Jung ,

Join With Me , If It Is Your Choice ,

Just Watch My Razor Tongue !

https://vocaroo.com/i/s17QFxe3e7U6

Come Now , Come Now , To This Duel ,

And Where We Shall Make Merry ,

But Watch Your Drink , Do Not Drool ,

Nor Post Your Words In Hurry ;

Be As Solid As Mighty Oak ,

Come From The Acorn Seed ,

As Pooka I May Give A Poke ,

If I Find You Cannot Read ;

Yet No Despair And No Lament

Should Be Upon Your Lips ,

Just Because Your Mind Be Bent

No Hands Upon Your Hips !

These palms are dancing

Itching for a bit of fun

Waiting for my mind to run

Like Arthur as he's lancing

Metallic death poised for contact

To vade into this friendly duel

A sparing session , far from cruel

With no misspellings to redact

Welcome Good Sir , Though One Speak Like A Knight ,

Ready For A Fight , And Thus Not Like A Celtic Bard ,

No Mispellings To Redact ? What An Act And "Duel Light"

For A Poet , As I Know It , Proper Orthography Is Not So Hard ;

Yet I Know You Shall Do Your Very Best , Before Your Rest ,

And With Wisdom And Words , And Thoughts Unheard , Retire ,

Until Such Time We Shall Rhyme , And Let Us Feast And Fest ,

As I Shall Put Thee To The Test , And Your Feet Unto The Fire ;

No fitting way to spend this time

Or to better yet type out our rhymes

I cannot conceive or attempt to lie

Though one may come from this drip of rye

Or Perhaps the fine line , that sits near my side

Just another accomplice for us to confide

Or chatter senselessly the awaiting firmament

The audience to all that we circumvent

A cheers to verse , a cheers to you

A toast to me , a toast overdue

I'll have to shift in tone , to a more musical note

A remedy to blandness , a turn of the coat

As Shakespeare was fond of shooting the shit

For whatever reason , the excretion , he was fond of it

I don't often respond in an older English

Or careen through a bowl like a koi fish

Though , for you my friend , it's more than deserved

To not fiddle with the simple , or dine with the reserved

Fine Rye By Your Side , And Cheers To Your Chair ,

And A Toast To A Good Sir , Before I Roast Sir ,

As You Sit , Of Such Matters , Upright And Aware ,

As With Bards And As In Duels , This Just May  Occur :

And There May Be An Audience , But That Shall Be No Defense ,

And No Excuse For Them To Sit Or Stand By The Wayside ,

I Call Them Into The Fray , And Come What May ,  Their Recompense ,

Will Be The Ride , As They Heard The Call That Can Not Be Denied !

I expect a good char , none the less , be it rare

To be scorned in such an uplifting way

Ill be the masochist , to your abundance of whit

For clever whimsy , your words are quite writ

I await for another , to take the brunt of its hiss

For now it does seem , I have to take another piss

Ah , Now There Is A Bard , With A Grand Play Of The Word !

A Turn Of The Coat , A Title Worthy Of One Who Shakes Spears ,

And Though We May Play In Deep Yak Manure , Words Be Heard ,

And In Theater Absurd , Though There Be Drama , We Shall Not Fear ;

And To Speak , Of Koi , How Coy Of You , Shall I Proceed To Haiku You ?

Or Shall We Proceed , As Dual Bards , To Make The Simple Hard , Not Retard ,

Yet Plow Ahead , With Our Heads , With No Reservations , For Us Two ,

Yet To See Into Verbal Futures , And Then We Must Be On Our Guard !

A Piss , A Piss , Apis , That Is A Honored Bull ,

And I Bow To You Sir , For Meeting Me Like This

And By Your Words Showing You Are Honorable

May Your Words Always Be Heard , And Receive The Muse's Kiss !

The acknowledgment of such , is to you reciprocal

If it is just a duet , I laughingly say it may become elliptical

Though , a Sufi did say in the fondest of surroundings

the least of perturbance , and while mutuality is abounding

That Is where we find the most reassuring of company !

In the strangest of formality , and perversion of normality

Reluctance can be the soot of fear or the simplest of nays

But to you and whomever else , I do say okay !

As You Know If We Are A Reciprocal Equation Two Become One ,

And There Shall Be No More Neighs Out Of The Horse's Mouth ,

Then Who Shall I Parry Verbosities With Until The Duel Is Done ?

Are You Telling Me , I Am  The Back End Of A Horse As It Is Heading South ?

There's still many variables to be told with similarity

Even with the absence of polar incongruities

I expect the deflections to pertain even It's in vain

And if not another takes a bit of joy in or amidst our refrain

We may both be heading in the same direction

Though , it may be more akin to the heat of my household convection !