Poetry competition CLOSED 30th April 2018 10:06pm
WINNER
Blackwolf (I.M.Blackwolf)
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RUNNERS-UP: case28 and David_Macleod

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Calling all Vogons!

poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 20th Feb 2017
Forum Posts: 288

Poetry Contest

Worst possible poem
For anyone who has read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you already know what I'm talking about here. For everyone else, write the worst possible poem you can. For this one time the award goes to the most painful poem imaginable. Even as a cringe and brace myself, I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got.

*New writes only
*3 weeks

That's it! Hit me with your worst!

*Afterthought...I dare you to enter a voice reading...

poet
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 31st Mar 2018
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I No U HafCrb ND I WantSum !

Hinosis beschmel pummeled crabseard bibejuledtreburnt ,
 
Hiporspashalfud bimidmnd , wilcnductng bsnsdeels b -outt
 
Brkn bch chrs nd mlded mdlslgships , longtm tuschml , yt
 
Idu thnkng nd ufwrlds and mmblng rndmfahte mntersss ;
 
Givtominiowwordi ree  ssistnceis u cillus !




( Just in case one can not figure this out in Vogon :

High Noses Be Smell Pummeled Crab Seared By Bejeweled Tree Burnt

Hyperspatial Food By My Demand While Conducting Business Deals

About Broken Back Chairs And Melded Model Slugships Long Time

To Smile Yet I Do Thinking End Of Worlds And Random Fate Mantras

Give To Me Now Or Die , Resistance Is Useless ! )
Written by Blackwolf (I.M.Blackwolf)
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poet
snugglebuck
Dangerous Mind
United States
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A Neon Jungle

A Neon Jungle
snugglebuck
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poet
highwaytohell
Greg
Thought Provoker
South Africa
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Joined 24th Sep 2015
Forum Posts: 449

Here is my entry:

Ready?
You sure?
Wanna grab a coffee?

This poem in all its infinite infinite infinity needless to say is finite fortified by words consisting of letters to express logical illogical emotions that sellers exploit to make sales and while doing so sell their souls souls that are both there and not there and at the end they go into a fire or a cloud or a great hall or tartarus or is born again all while other souls contemplate life's meaning that is meaningless.

42


poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Blackwolf said:...

Thank you for kicking things off with a great entry!

poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 20th Feb 2017
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snugglebuck said:...

Okay, this is gonna be great fun! Thank you for joining in, snugglebuck!

poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 20th Feb 2017
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highwaytohell said:...

Yup...this is gonna be fun! Thank you for chiming in, highwaytohell!

poet
rabbitquest
Anna Mossity
Dangerous Mind
Jordan
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Joined 20th May 2012
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URL read error

poet
SourMelon0313
H
Fire of Insight
United States
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Joined 6th Oct 2017
Forum Posts: 211


The Best POem



Dis da-BEST
worded so elagant-ly
fun fum yer eyes enjoy-est
purf-ect grame-er intelligenital-ly
with cum-posed thoughs
writtan wiyth beau-ty
right write, dis you boughs!

Rhymes so ss-well
wher 'yo eyes just FLAM!
you cannot fortune-tell
when dis go BAM

Bu-uuh baa-BAM!
WhazZzAAM!
Chi-chang tang kang
Goes 'ye eyes ba-BAM!
Da best poem is I, I, I!


RaciSt jokes
& whEre only SOME are equal
WoMen go marchin' to da bed
aNd mEn go marchin' to da war
What's freedom?
dIs a COMMUNIST POEM
Dictatorship is how dis RULZ YO BALLs
tHis genitalia ROCKS dat Gurl

yO

yAh

HaY

Oy

yEs tHis DA BEST
poem










poet
AndyJHale
Twisted Dreamer
United States
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Joined 31st Mar 2018
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lol

poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 20th Feb 2017
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SourMelon0313 said:

LMAO! Thank you for dropping in with that entry, SourMelon0313!

poet
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 31st Mar 2018
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Mi' Lady From The Ash :

Howl Doth One Post A Reading ?

I Would Dare To Attempt Such...but do not blame me ,
if brains explode , or bodies discombobulate ...;)

poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Blackwolf said:Mi' Lady From The Ash :

Howl Doth One Post A Reading ?

I Would Dare To Attempt Such...but do not blame me ,
if brains explode , or bodies discombobulate ...;)


Well, I'm not sure I'm the most qualified to explain how it's done. I've never posted one myself. But as I'm given to understand, there are 2 ways to do the reading itself:

1 - You can use the simplest method and use vocaroo.com, which provides you with an instant link.

2. - Or you can use YouTube, which is more complicated. You would first need to create a video with software, save it as an .mp4 and then upload it to YouTube.

If you upload the voice recording or video through your regular posting it should appear here as well. Does that answer your question sufficiently?

poet
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 31st Mar 2018
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Thank you , for your prompt answer , and yes , it begins the process...

I believe if I have more questions , I can go to "Spoken Word" forum ,
as I now see that advice is given there as well...we shall see what fruit
this tree shall bear ( if the Vogons do not burn it first ! )

Best To You !

poet
FromTheAsh
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 20th Feb 2017
Forum Posts: 288

Blackwolf said:

Excellent! I'm glad you found the best resource for answers. Spoken Word would be the right group!

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