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Worn Down

drone
Tyrant of Words
Greece 10awards
Joined 3rd Sep 2011
Forum Posts: 2252

Worn Down
by things
that should not be

Worn Down
by
the silent screams
that cry
the tears
of despair

Worn Down
by the stupidity
of a society
that ignorantly believes
they care
for the children
who quietly cry
in a corner
of their mind

morgan2-18
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 15th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 7

Rivers to Oceans

Sometimes i don't think other people understand, what it's like to want to die. Sometimes, it hurts so bad that you are in physical pain, wishing to die.

People just think depression is being sad but it's not. I used to think the same thing, and for the first two or so years i thought i was right.

I could manage it, with surface cuts on my thighs. Distracting myself with other people's problems.

But then i started to notice that when it was dark and i was lonely, i just wanted to be dead. No specific reason, just wanted to be dead.

Then one day, i took that razor to my wrist and it was the most relieving thing i had ever done to myself.

I watched as the blood ran down my arm

Into the water

Down the side of the tub

Relieving

And peaceful

That was my new favorite place, the bath

I thought the red rivers that my blood made in the water were beautiful and mesmerizing, the
way the blood dispurced when it hit the water

The feeling you get when the blood drips from your arm

My mother never understood the beauty of those red rivers, i was the only one

They sucked me in

I was obsessed with them

One day, i couldn't bear not to see those red rivers so i did it

Over and over and over

Arms and legs, hips and ribs

The red rivers turned into a red pond;

No, a red ocean and i thought

“Finally, this is it!”

So I sank into that beautiful ocean but sadly to my surprise…

I did not drown
Written by morgan2-18
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morgan2-18
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 15th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 7

Year after Year

Age 12 holding onto that blade
Praying my life, it would fade
Tired of fighting for survival
What I need? A major revival

Age 13, my old english class
"come to his party, have a glass"
18 years old, I get in his truck
"where is cheyanne?" I think im stuck
Pushed to the back, held onto like tape
He pulled up my dress, I knew it was rape

Age 14, a tub full of water
Cut after cut, my body gets hotter
Killing myself, praying to die
"Im okay" telling mama a lie
Feeling happy is only a wish
Numb to everything, except deaths kiss

Age 15, still leaving scars
"Jokes" about getting hit by cars
A really close friend, almost a brother
"He's sweet and charming" said my mother
But he asked me to talk, I said okay
Unwanted neck kisses and touches.. I wanted away

Age 16, drugs, cuts and hiding
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, I'm fighting
I still want to die, but therapy is helping
Taking my meds, "I'm better", I'm telling
Written by morgan2-18
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Alyssabarletta
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 12th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 4

Untitled

Paralyzed in my stance
Transformed into this trance
Another realm I can’t explain
It’s something wrong within my brain

Goosebumps spreading down my arms
Yelling is all that surrounds
A shadow spreading on the wall
It forms a hand reaching out in gall
I hear a snap the trance is dissipated
Alarm spreading I feel invaded

Until the soothing of your words
Nothing else makes me reassured
I calm in his arms where I don’t feel alone
But temptations perspire I cannot condone
Alone I must be
To face my shit and reach recovery
Written by Alyssabarletta
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Alyssabarletta
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 12th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 4

Cold

A table appears out of thin air
My limp body sprawled across skin fair
You can see the sludge my blood gone cold
The room shifts into a hospital fold

The lights get brighter I can feel the tension
My body bloating out in extension
The trance seems to last forever
Walking through my house stuck in this endeavor
I died from Xanax a white froth gathered at my bloated lips

The image begins to slip
I hear tanner calling out for me
But I’m so far out of this dimension to see
The room shifts back
The demons howling my mind stacks
Voices layer on top of each other

I can’t make a sound not even a mumble
Sprinting out of my house I stumble
My mind alone shaking under too much effort
To becoming its own voice separate

The twelve others drowning it out
Hearing myself again when he carries my limp body toward him without doubt
Written by Alyssabarletta
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badmalthus
Harry Rout
Dangerous Mind
19awards
Joined 3rd May 2014
Forum Posts: 433

Rachelleundrgrd
Thought Provoker
United States 2awards
Joined 17th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 80

Dust and bones

Pops told me that even us good girls start and end as dust and that the in-between was simply horseshit sticking both parts together.
 
Mama said that even though we might dust and clean, we was created from more than just dirt. That the rib of a Man crafted us good girls.  
 
Imagine that. Here we stand, and work, and sit quiet--like good girls do--all because of you and your extra bone.  
 
We kneel down, eat dirt; and, when you are done, we dust it off of our knees, spit it out of our mouths and get back to our chores, like all good girls do.  
 
R.
Written by Rachelleundrgrd
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Heaven_sent_Kathy
Thought Provoker
United States 9awards
Joined 1st Nov 2017
Forum Posts: 177

I'm beginning to think it's You

I was up all night,  
Working on a ton of files  
By 4-watt moonlight.  
Thought I’d only be a while  
With my paper purge,  
Didn’t think twice, so all right:  
In bed by midnight.  
But no way, ‘cos time will merge:  
When one thing clones two,  
Grows many from few,  
Gives answers to clue,  
Dyes rainbows their hue.  
Taught trees all they knew.  
Learns cats ways to mew,  
And cows how to chew,  
And doves when to coo.  
How dogs use the loo.  
Why we should eschew  
A bridge gone askew.  
But won’t join me to  
Walk miles in my shoe.  
Go cuckoo due to  
No sleep when it’s You  
Who’s blocking my view.  
In spite of the urge,  
I never can silence Your dirge.
Written by Heaven_sent_Kathy
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Heaven_sent_Kathy
Thought Provoker
United States 9awards
Joined 1st Nov 2017
Forum Posts: 177

Vacant

Just now, a mirage of sound  
Heard from the wall heater    
I never use.  
   
Rain landing from above,  
That's the only way I know    
As precious little visits where I live.  
   
I look out the front door    
And see the vortex of raindrops.  
Feel the chilled night air on my face.  
   
Inhale deeply that chill like arctic.  
Slowly, I absentmindedly    
Pull my threadbare robe around me.  
   
Easing back into my    
Slightly less cold apartment,  
Closing the door of drafts.  
   
By the time I sit back down    
Where I now write this,  
All is thick with stillness.  
   
This small gift that has drifted  
Out of earshot in predawn mists.  
How vacant the gesture makes me feel.
Written by Heaven_sent_Kathy
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poet Anonymous

Related submission no longer exists.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/300966-fucking-me-doesn-t-require-planning/

Audio poem. Complete poem written down via the poem link.

chump
Thought Provoker
United States 6awards
Joined 30th Sep 2014
Forum Posts: 417

Apart

A part of me has died
A part that tried
A part on which love relied
A part which for joy had cried
A part to which my dreams had lied
Warm dry hands of romance
Content soul of slow dance
The truest heart needs one chance
And loyal eyes not one glance
All are lost from what fate grants Done with emotions
A life goes through the motions
Void of foolish notions
Of love
Written by chump
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MJ3
Pen_ofsad
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 19th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 3

Reflection

I hate him.
But every day of my life I'm forced to live with him.
I wake up to see him rear his ugly head at me.
When I look in the mirror he taunts me.

He is my insecurity.
He is my failure.
He is my weakness.
I wish he had never been born.

He knows that he is everything that I hate.
My reflection, he laughs as I suffer.
Written by MJ3 (Pen_ofsad)
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Poetryman
Tyrant of Words
United States 29awards
Joined 14th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 1530

10 Steps Backward

Turning around is the only way forward
If only it meant going back in time
Undoing the error of my ways
But every step forward takes ten steps back
No matter how hard I try, how forcefully I walk
The straight line I travel bends around in a circle
Over and over I put one foot in front of the other
Yet my bones twist until they snap and I am further away
I can't understand how it happens every single time
Adding up to an overwhelming undeniable truth
God hates me, God tortures me, God is a fucking asshole!
Send me to Hell now, God dam you!
Just kill me and get it the fuck over with
Why draw this out any more?  
I'm going to Hell already, just fucking do it!
I don't need any more convincing
I have enough nails through my wrists and feet
Been poisoned with enough poison to kill ten elephants
Burned alive into a pile of ashes
Buried in a coffin filled with flesh eating worms
I'm never going to forgive you for all you've done to me
So what are you waiting for God?
Are you so sadistic you don't want to end my misery?
Do you shoot wads of cum with every teardrop I shed?
Does my pain ad suffering bring you laughter?
Is it you or me that is not real?
I'm so tired of this shit!
Written by Poetryman
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Poetryman
Tyrant of Words
United States 29awards
Joined 14th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 1530

I Give Up, I Quit, Just Let Me Go

It's hard to smile, it's hard to laugh      
When the only thing worth laughing at      
Is my miserable fucking life      
Filled with nothing and drenched with fat      
    
It's hard to see in the darkness      
That surrounds me everywhere I go      
I close my eyes and embrace death      
For love's embrace I'll never know      
    
It's hard to love without a heart      
I gave mine away so long ago      
Now she is someone else’s wife      
And I'm no one you'd want to know      
    
It's hard to want without desire      
I don't give a damn any more      
I'd rather quit this empty life      
And pass through Hades open door      
    
It's hard to know what love is      
When no one has ever loved me      
Don't bother trying to save my life      
A soul not worth taking for free      
    
It's impossible to save    
Not even Jesus Christ will save me    
From throwing away this waste of life    
That's always been my destiny    
 
* 04/21/2001    
 
Copyright © 2004 JJ Johnson    
US Copyright Office Registration: TXu1-162-978
Written by Poetryman
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gifteth
AliboTerna
Twisted Dreamer
Nigeria 1awards
Joined 26th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 25

GLORIOUS DREAMS

What if all the arms we need are for hug
and life as simple as a sip from a mug
what if my sweat was a blazing slug
that flames the ground and made it a burning rug.
What if my tears was just a camouflage
and my nightmares as such a glory beyond mirage
what if I fall down without a rage
knowing I'll stand up and start a new page.
Some days the sun is hard to face
and hard times seems like an endless race
but I give my dreams a hot chase
praying to God almighty for his saving grace.
I have got the heart of roaring lion
they say iron sharpens its own, I am an iron.
And I gallop high like a black stallion
sticks and stones cant crush my bones, it got ions.

For all will be alright
I will survive the night
and all my dreams will come to live.
I'll fight and not flight
I'll put on the armour of a shining knight
My glorious dreams will come alive.
Written by gifteth (AliboTerna)
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