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Poetry competition CLOSED 29th December 2017 4:56am
WINNER
da_poetic-edifier (Damon)
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Bad Santa

MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Poetry Contest

Write about being the worst Santa
Write about being the worst, f'd up, not-so kid friendly Santa Claus
Whether being creepy, funny as hell, or naughty either way make your version of Santa Claus actually fun
Rules:
- 1 entry only
- erotic poems are welcome
- can be as long or as short as you want
- be creative
- be twisted
- have fun

Fallen_Angel_194
Angel.
Thought Provoker
United States 5awards
Joined 24th May 2014
Forum Posts: 318

Santa baby

Santa baby,
Won't you stop looking so glum,
Your break's up in five minutes,
And the whore on your lap won't have time to have fun fun,

Santa baby,
You've gotta take a shower tonight,
The parents are complaining,
You smell like ginger and formaldehyde

Santa baby,
Please don't pout,
I see you when you're sleeping
And I know your lunch break is making the stripper's legs shake,

Santa baby,
I've think you've had too much to drink,
You smell like you've taken a bath in the dump,
Santa baby.

Santa baby,
You're shift's almost over today,
It's time to go blow your money away,
Santa baby,
It's Mrs Claus,
And according to the stripper,
I think we should talk.

snugglebuck
Dangerous Mind
United States 77awards
Joined 3rd Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 1873

http://i1290.photobucket.com/albums/b536/1willybugger/elf1a_zpsattp5xdn.jpg

Dear Santa,

Santa Clause, you should be
So very ashamed of yourself
Bad enough your threats of
‘Who’s naughty or nice’
But you’ve hit a new low
With that sick ‘Elf on Shelf

A professional peeping Tom
Who disappears and reappears
In hidden places to spy on us
That little pervert with his sneer
That creep so freaks me out
He’s so beyond weird

So, Santa on this Christmas Day
Why don’t you skip my place
Before I take your little weirdo
And through him in the fireplace

poet Anonymous

da_poetic-edifier
Damon
Dangerous Mind
United States 12awards
Joined 11th Aug 2016
Forum Posts: 251

Naughty Black Santa Clause

You're made of sugar, spice and everything that's nice
And all of that sweetness inside of you has me enticed
I'm going to be your naughty Black Santa Clause this year
Spreading joy and cheer since Christmas time is now here

I'm desiring to partake of your cake, your milk and your cookies
Some old heads use to refer to it as being called some nookie
You've hooked me, even though I've never even had a bite
That's all about to change by the end of this special night

I'll start this thing out by doing something strange for a little change
Giving intense cunnilingus brain by licking your moist pretty wings
You'll slow grind while I'm blowing your mind with my clitorial humming
Raising your caramel thighs up high as I dive inside until you're cumming

As I'm sipping on your egg nog your moans will make me rock hard
Then my candy cane will start to feel your rain once inserted inside
Making me dissolve from the heated passion that has been prolonged
For so long I've wanted to formally introduce your yoni to my schlong

Now that grand moment is upon us and it's time to get it on & popping
There will be no stopping until I deposit each and every single drop in
Grabbing your hips so I can steer as I passionately stroke from the rear
Equally causing you and I both to unashamedly smile from ear to ear

Simultaneously we'll climax from our mutually satisfying sexual session
Then you'll reveal to me that you've got some sort of a secret confession
Revealing you've wanted a piece of my love for just as long as I've wanted yours
But before you'd allow your guard down you needed to know that I'd be all yours

Now you know that there's no place like home and home is where the heart is
My heartfelt display each and everyday has conveyed exactly where mines is
I freely give to you my mind, body, heart and soul and that'll never get too old
Lo and behold you've closed outlets of doubt & now await for things to unfold

One of the greatest stories that'll ever be told of the hope of finding true love is ours
Others will enviously observe our loving bond like killer snipers at the watch towers
Some will admire, some will hate, some will be inspired and others will just debate
What we have is absolutely great and our spiritual vibes make this thing feel like fate
Written by da_poetic-edifier (Damon)
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wallyroo92
Tyrant of Words
United States 147awards
Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1757

The Nite Before Christmas

It was the night before Christmas,
And all through the shack,
Not a creature was sleeping,
Not even me in my sack.
I was waiting for Santa,
He owed me from last year,
He ate all the cookies and milk,
and from fridge he drank the beer.
Then I heard bells far away,
And laughter across the skyline,
It was getting closer and closer,
This year his fat ass is mine.
He got stuck in my chimney,
He farted all the way,
I smelled nachos and tacos,
He ran for the border today.
He fell in my fire place,
His white beard turned black,
He was mumbling about something,
Then I saw his buttcrack.
I could tell he was drunk,
He had a cup made of tin,
Santa was drinking and driving,
He had a bottle of gin.
He saw me standing there,
And then he said “No way!”
I said “Where’s my present fatso”
He said “Well it’s on it’s way.”
I asked “Are you really Santa?
You gotta show me some proof”
His reindeers were waiting outside,
The took a shit on my roof.
He said “I now when you’re sleeping,
I know when you’re awake”
I said “I know Mrs. Claus has cylicones,
Her hooters are fake.”
We ragged on each other,
And we laughed so hard,
He took a leak in his pats,
He didn't reach the yard.
He was mumbling and speaking jive,
And all I could do was think,
I can’t understand him, he’s lying,
“You lie and your breath stink.”
He had forgotten my present,
So he said “I’ll be right back,”
I said “Yeah right fatass,
You know what, you can lick my sack.”
He went back to his reindeers,
But it was to my surprise,
He flicked me off, showed me his tongue,
And the he mooned me twice.
He mounted his sleigh,
And took off to the sky,
He wasn’t just drinking all the way,
This year Santa was high.

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