Poetry competition CLOSED 26th May 2012 7:25pm
WINNER
kriticool
kriticool
HOW MUCH YOU THINK YOU KNOW A WOMAN?
chezz said:
Sweet words and promises all devout
I can only guess at how your laid out
So many depths to a woman
Forever lost to man
Even if I study u forever
Phantom cavity's
recesses ,recessed within recesses
Understand u ? Never
There is no picketed path
To a woman's heart
No play book
Special any wich way u look
I can only promise my heart
And hope its all it took
4.5 nice . I like the you won't figure her out part.
Sweet words and promises all devout
I can only guess at how your laid out
So many depths to a woman
Forever lost to man
Even if I study u forever
Phantom cavity's
recesses ,recessed within recesses
Understand u ? Never
There is no picketed path
To a woman's heart
No play book
Special any wich way u look
I can only promise my heart
And hope its all it took
4.5 nice . I like the you won't figure her out part.
A dynamic superpositioned existence
With strange affections
Diluted in various ways
Seeking to absorb or entrap emotions
Much like a spider does insects.
A strange and vivid physical existence
Made of flesh and blood
Roaming about in billions
With mellow-impossible-to-understand thoughts:
That. Is. A. Woman.
A kindergarten string
Connects me to them
From the instance their existence beholds my eyes
But behold! I walk with a scissors
Cutting strings from the FIRST to the LAST.
I've got experience with this flesh and blood of an existence you see;
They tell a beautiful lie with a pretty face
And reap hearts out with painted nails.
They see beyond their batted eye lashes
And walk to kill
For they kill as work.
Then they GATHER and talk about MURDER
In silent whispers.
I found out to be labelled "Gossip"..
Afraid I am of these likable creatures
Who are physically much like myself
And yet so very different from myself.
So when I want to woo one
Or again I fall in love with one,
I'll just honestly tell her coldly
Without a fuse, without style or guile,
I'll look into her lovely eyes
With intense curiosity
And lay what is there of a truth to lay.
"Woman. I love you!" I would say
And then I'll look away terrified.
"What have I done!?" I would ask myself
But by then it would be too late to cry.
For its worth in gold
I stumbled upon knowledge;
That a woman cannot be understood.
With strange affections
Diluted in various ways
Seeking to absorb or entrap emotions
Much like a spider does insects.
A strange and vivid physical existence
Made of flesh and blood
Roaming about in billions
With mellow-impossible-to-understand thoughts:
That. Is. A. Woman.
A kindergarten string
Connects me to them
From the instance their existence beholds my eyes
But behold! I walk with a scissors
Cutting strings from the FIRST to the LAST.
I've got experience with this flesh and blood of an existence you see;
They tell a beautiful lie with a pretty face
And reap hearts out with painted nails.
They see beyond their batted eye lashes
And walk to kill
For they kill as work.
Then they GATHER and talk about MURDER
In silent whispers.
I found out to be labelled "Gossip"..
Afraid I am of these likable creatures
Who are physically much like myself
And yet so very different from myself.
So when I want to woo one
Or again I fall in love with one,
I'll just honestly tell her coldly
Without a fuse, without style or guile,
I'll look into her lovely eyes
With intense curiosity
And lay what is there of a truth to lay.
"Woman. I love you!" I would say
And then I'll look away terrified.
"What have I done!?" I would ask myself
But by then it would be too late to cry.
For its worth in gold
I stumbled upon knowledge;
That a woman cannot be understood.
wanderer said:A dynamic superpositioned existence
With strange affections
Diluted in various ways
Seeking to absorb or entrap emotions
Much like a spider does insects.
A strange and vivid physical existence
Made of flesh and blood
Roaming about in billions
With mellow-impossible-to-understand thoughts:
That. Is. A. Woman.
A kindergarten string
Connects me to them
From the instance their existence beholds my eyes
But behold! I walk with a scissors
Cutting strings from the FIRST to the LAST.
I've got experience with this flesh and blood of an existence you see;
They tell a beautiful lie with a pretty face
And reap hearts out with painted nails.
They see beyond their batted eye lashes
And walk to kill
For they kill as work.
Then they GATHER and talk about MURDER
In silent whispers.
I found out to be labelled "Gossip"..
Afraid I am of these likable creatures
Who are physically much like myself
And yet so very different from myself.
So when I want to woo one
Or again I fall in love with one,
I'll just honestly tell her coldly
Without a fuse, without style or guile,
I'll look into her lovely eyes
With intense curiosity
And lay what is there of a truth to lay.
"Woman. I love you!" I would say
And then I'll look away terrified.
"What have I done!?" I would ask myself
But by then it would be too late to cry.
For its worth in gold
I stumbled upon knowledge;
That a woman cannot be understood.
4.5
With strange affections
Diluted in various ways
Seeking to absorb or entrap emotions
Much like a spider does insects.
A strange and vivid physical existence
Made of flesh and blood
Roaming about in billions
With mellow-impossible-to-understand thoughts:
That. Is. A. Woman.
A kindergarten string
Connects me to them
From the instance their existence beholds my eyes
But behold! I walk with a scissors
Cutting strings from the FIRST to the LAST.
I've got experience with this flesh and blood of an existence you see;
They tell a beautiful lie with a pretty face
And reap hearts out with painted nails.
They see beyond their batted eye lashes
And walk to kill
For they kill as work.
Then they GATHER and talk about MURDER
In silent whispers.
I found out to be labelled "Gossip"..
Afraid I am of these likable creatures
Who are physically much like myself
And yet so very different from myself.
So when I want to woo one
Or again I fall in love with one,
I'll just honestly tell her coldly
Without a fuse, without style or guile,
I'll look into her lovely eyes
With intense curiosity
And lay what is there of a truth to lay.
"Woman. I love you!" I would say
And then I'll look away terrified.
"What have I done!?" I would ask myself
But by then it would be too late to cry.
For its worth in gold
I stumbled upon knowledge;
That a woman cannot be understood.
4.5
Philip 3.5
You have the idea, but it does sound like a way to pick a girl up rather than a way for her to fall in love. I think the missing element there is time. Because you made it about the night you met your wife (VERY sweet, by the way), the time element of the one night shows through and makes it sound like a pick up moment. Like you are giving her what she needs for what you want that night. That's why it sounds playerish. I love the wiping the tear from her stories part. Yeah, you have the right idea.
Chezz 1.5
You wrote about being able to understand women, not what women need to fall in love. 1 point for the beautiful poem, and .5 for the last lines.
Faceless 3
I like the honesty. I like the idea of "I love you, even though I know you to be a dangerous creature". I still feel that the piece is more about understanding a woman and hoping she will love you back, rather than being about what a woman needs to fall in love.
I am loving this idea. Bring on some more!!
You have the idea, but it does sound like a way to pick a girl up rather than a way for her to fall in love. I think the missing element there is time. Because you made it about the night you met your wife (VERY sweet, by the way), the time element of the one night shows through and makes it sound like a pick up moment. Like you are giving her what she needs for what you want that night. That's why it sounds playerish. I love the wiping the tear from her stories part. Yeah, you have the right idea.
Chezz 1.5
You wrote about being able to understand women, not what women need to fall in love. 1 point for the beautiful poem, and .5 for the last lines.
Faceless 3
I like the honesty. I like the idea of "I love you, even though I know you to be a dangerous creature". I still feel that the piece is more about understanding a woman and hoping she will love you back, rather than being about what a woman needs to fall in love.
I am loving this idea. Bring on some more!!
wanderer said:A dynamic superpositioned existence
With strange affections
Diluted in various ways
Seeking to absorb or entrap emotions
Much like a spider does insects.
A strange and vivid physical existence
Made of flesh and blood
Roaming about in billions
With mellow-impossible-to-understand thoughts:
That. Is. A. Woman.
A kindergarten string
Connects me to them
From the instance their existence beholds my eyes
But behold! I walk with a scissors
Cutting strings from the FIRST to the LAST.
I've got experience with this flesh and blood of an existence you see;
They tell a beautiful lie with a pretty face
And reap hearts out with painted nails.
They see beyond their batted eye lashes
And walk to kill
For they kill as work.
Then they GATHER and talk about MURDER
In silent whispers.
I found out to be labelled "Gossip"..
Afraid I am of these likable creatures
Who are physically much like myself
And yet so very different from myself.
So when I want to woo one
Or again I fall in love with one,
I'll just honestly tell her coldly
Without a fuse, without style or guile,
I'll look into her lovely eyes
With intense curiosity
And lay what is there of a truth to lay.
"Woman. I love you!" I would say
And then I'll look away terrified.
"What have I done!?" I would ask myself
But by then it would be too late to cry.
For its worth in gold
I stumbled upon knowledge;
That a woman cannot be understood.
hey man, i was making a poem, just to add it, even though i was not goin to compete, but man, you would make my poem look, ugly.
SENA
With strange affections
Diluted in various ways
Seeking to absorb or entrap emotions
Much like a spider does insects.
A strange and vivid physical existence
Made of flesh and blood
Roaming about in billions
With mellow-impossible-to-understand thoughts:
That. Is. A. Woman.
A kindergarten string
Connects me to them
From the instance their existence beholds my eyes
But behold! I walk with a scissors
Cutting strings from the FIRST to the LAST.
I've got experience with this flesh and blood of an existence you see;
They tell a beautiful lie with a pretty face
And reap hearts out with painted nails.
They see beyond their batted eye lashes
And walk to kill
For they kill as work.
Then they GATHER and talk about MURDER
In silent whispers.
I found out to be labelled "Gossip"..
Afraid I am of these likable creatures
Who are physically much like myself
And yet so very different from myself.
So when I want to woo one
Or again I fall in love with one,
I'll just honestly tell her coldly
Without a fuse, without style or guile,
I'll look into her lovely eyes
With intense curiosity
And lay what is there of a truth to lay.
"Woman. I love you!" I would say
And then I'll look away terrified.
"What have I done!?" I would ask myself
But by then it would be too late to cry.
For its worth in gold
I stumbled upon knowledge;
That a woman cannot be understood.
hey man, i was making a poem, just to add it, even though i was not goin to compete, but man, you would make my poem look, ugly.
SENA
drogedarain said:I'm waiting for something that really
strikes me and I have not seen anything
yet~!!!
The pieces so far are good,,,
But simply good at best~!!!!!
you seeeeee,
all the poems talks difrent about a woman, what they need, how to love them, what they are looking for, but as you say you are looking for something to strikes you,
womens, are diferent i think thats one of my opinion. and thats good. too.
strikes me and I have not seen anything
yet~!!!
The pieces so far are good,,,
But simply good at best~!!!!!
you seeeeee,
all the poems talks difrent about a woman, what they need, how to love them, what they are looking for, but as you say you are looking for something to strikes you,
womens, are diferent i think thats one of my opinion. and thats good. too.
WITH A SMALL THING I WILL STEAL YOU HEART
She does not want a car, neither a driver,
She wants a Man that makes her feel like a woman,
He does not need to worry about bringing a gift that would smell like channel
he is trying to impress her with his body of a top model, and then
She thinks that he only wants to take her clothes off,
Oh this chase,
He comes with this last name ‘chase’ but,
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message, a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
But he just wants to fulfill her with a Land Rover.
This guy drive his nice car, Lamborghini
He Takes her to the best restaurant
He buys martini,
But she just dying to wear a mini,
Go out to the Bronx and eat simple street meat, while meeting.
Just take her some flower,
Don’t appear to be a pro, is better to be real,
In case if you are a cower, don’t buy her a Rolex,
Don’t ever ask her if you are better that her ex.
Me, With simple things I will steal your heart.
I will make a nice dinner, with what I have,
And give her what I don’t have,
Take her to the beach, walk on the sand,
I will write you my very best poem,
I dedicate this topic to you.
I will be your wolf, you’ll be my moon,
I would do everything counting on putting
Smile in your face,
Love is not Prada or Luis Vuitton.
Don’t feel her eyes, fill her heart,
Me, with a small thing I will steal your heart
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message,
a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
SENA
She does not want a car, neither a driver,
She wants a Man that makes her feel like a woman,
He does not need to worry about bringing a gift that would smell like channel
he is trying to impress her with his body of a top model, and then
She thinks that he only wants to take her clothes off,
Oh this chase,
He comes with this last name ‘chase’ but,
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message, a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
But he just wants to fulfill her with a Land Rover.
This guy drive his nice car, Lamborghini
He Takes her to the best restaurant
He buys martini,
But she just dying to wear a mini,
Go out to the Bronx and eat simple street meat, while meeting.
Just take her some flower,
Don’t appear to be a pro, is better to be real,
In case if you are a cower, don’t buy her a Rolex,
Don’t ever ask her if you are better that her ex.
Me, With simple things I will steal your heart.
I will make a nice dinner, with what I have,
And give her what I don’t have,
Take her to the beach, walk on the sand,
I will write you my very best poem,
I dedicate this topic to you.
I will be your wolf, you’ll be my moon,
I would do everything counting on putting
Smile in your face,
Love is not Prada or Luis Vuitton.
Don’t feel her eyes, fill her heart,
Me, with a small thing I will steal your heart
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message,
a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
SENA
RSena said:WITH A SMALL THING I WILL STEAL YOU HEART
She does not want a car, neither a driver,
She wants a Man that makes her feel like a woman,
He does not need to worry about bringing a gift that would smell like channel
he is trying to impress her with his body of a top model, and then
She thinks that he only wants to take her clothes off,
Oh this chase,
He comes with this last name ‘chase’ but,
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message, a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
But he just wants to fulfill her with a Land Rover.
This guy drive his nice car, Lamborghini
He Takes her to the best restaurant
He buys martini,
But she just dying to wear a mini,
Go out to the Bronx and eat simple street meat, while meeting.
Just take her some flower,
Don’t appear to be a pro, is better to be real,
In case if you are a cower, don’t buy her a Rolex,
Don’t ever ask her if you are better that her ex.
Me, With simple things I will steal your heart.
I will make a nice dinner, with what I have,
And give her what I don’t have,
Take her to the beach, walk on the sand,
I will write you my very best poem,
I dedicate this topic to you.
I will be your wolf, you’ll be my moon,
I would do everything counting on putting
Smile in your face,
Love is not Prada or Luis Vuitton.
Don’t feel her eyes, fill her heart,
Me, with a small thing I will steal your heart
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message,
a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
SENA
not competing.
She does not want a car, neither a driver,
She wants a Man that makes her feel like a woman,
He does not need to worry about bringing a gift that would smell like channel
he is trying to impress her with his body of a top model, and then
She thinks that he only wants to take her clothes off,
Oh this chase,
He comes with this last name ‘chase’ but,
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message, a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
But he just wants to fulfill her with a Land Rover.
This guy drive his nice car, Lamborghini
He Takes her to the best restaurant
He buys martini,
But she just dying to wear a mini,
Go out to the Bronx and eat simple street meat, while meeting.
Just take her some flower,
Don’t appear to be a pro, is better to be real,
In case if you are a cower, don’t buy her a Rolex,
Don’t ever ask her if you are better that her ex.
Me, With simple things I will steal your heart.
I will make a nice dinner, with what I have,
And give her what I don’t have,
Take her to the beach, walk on the sand,
I will write you my very best poem,
I dedicate this topic to you.
I will be your wolf, you’ll be my moon,
I would do everything counting on putting
Smile in your face,
Love is not Prada or Luis Vuitton.
Don’t feel her eyes, fill her heart,
Me, with a small thing I will steal your heart
She is not looking for a cute man,
She just looking for a simple message,
a natural guy like me, a guy
That call her, and ask her;
Baby did you eat? Like me.
SENA
not competing.
