Poetry competition CLOSED 7th December 2019 2:33pm
WINNER
souladareatease
souladareatease
RUNNERS-UP:
Ahavati
and Tallen
It ain't easy
Poetry Contest Description
Write the worst poem you can possible manage.
We can all strive to write better but have you ever tried to write a 'bad' poem?
It's not as easy as you think!
2 weeks
2 poems
20 lines
Title your work
Any subject but please, NO erotica or sex
If it's really bad I may have to enlist another judge to help me out
The backstory to this comp subject is: Some years ago in a poetry group a very well accomplished writer created another persona; a famous poet from a village who had started a newsletter encouraging other poets to submit their work. We didn't know who this 'famous old' poet was, no one had even heard of this village but naturally we were all curious. The 'old' poet shared his work in the group and it was pure shite. We kept reading and re'reading and we all gave polite comments fearing that perhaps we might all be wrong in our opinion.
This lasted couple of months he would share crap of a poem and we gave polite feedback...then some months later when we found out we all had a good laugh and he admitted how hard and difficult it was to actually write bad poetry and make it seem believable.
Hope you all have fun with this project
It's not as easy as you think!
2 weeks
2 poems
20 lines
Title your work
Any subject but please, NO erotica or sex
If it's really bad I may have to enlist another judge to help me out
The backstory to this comp subject is: Some years ago in a poetry group a very well accomplished writer created another persona; a famous poet from a village who had started a newsletter encouraging other poets to submit their work. We didn't know who this 'famous old' poet was, no one had even heard of this village but naturally we were all curious. The 'old' poet shared his work in the group and it was pure shite. We kept reading and re'reading and we all gave polite comments fearing that perhaps we might all be wrong in our opinion.
This lasted couple of months he would share crap of a poem and we gave polite feedback...then some months later when we found out we all had a good laugh and he admitted how hard and difficult it was to actually write bad poetry and make it seem believable.
Hope you all have fun with this project
stuck to The Shoe
Written on brown paper
posed as something more
had stuckthe edged frayed fling thing thrown away
put me up as nothing more and jiggle the handle
i go in semi-circled waves
i go for many days
i feel so very frayed
were i to wpie it all away
YAY
i forget
that shit where one screws up and days are done
something
something
flowers N petals...
Give me new edged windows to place that vase
Ahhhhh
wtaer runs streaming,gleaming,teasing,pleasing
but does the sun shine?
sometimes i ...i reflect i can't lie
shredded half alive
Tacky
Rite aid was a pill
i was ill
is this written with quill
no no bitches
this is thro up
splattered
as if that mattered
clearly
it is magic hat
grabbed
from over here
Ooooh
slite of hand where dog bites occur
Finnish mimicry
stuck
on a toadstool
tonguing
thee and fleshy bits
it moves...undulating
recessed minds
Written on brown paper
posed as something more
had stuckthe edged frayed fling thing thrown away
put me up as nothing more and jiggle the handle
i go in semi-circled waves
i go for many days
i feel so very frayed
were i to wpie it all away
YAY
i forget
that shit where one screws up and days are done
something
something
flowers N petals...
Give me new edged windows to place that vase
Ahhhhh
wtaer runs streaming,gleaming,teasing,pleasing
but does the sun shine?
sometimes i ...i reflect i can't lie
shredded half alive
Tacky
Rite aid was a pill
i was ill
is this written with quill
no no bitches
this is thro up
splattered
as if that mattered
clearly
it is magic hat
grabbed
from over here
Ooooh
slite of hand where dog bites occur
Finnish mimicry
stuck
on a toadstool
tonguing
thee and fleshy bits
it moves...undulating
recessed minds
Need Mo Whiz, Dumb
I tol u
Yur back-wurd
Get smarts
No bumazz
Smartur
I C yew
Dats wear u gunna
B
If U can spale
Dis is stoop-id
Tryin ta talk 2U
Yur back-wurd
Get smarts
No bumazz
Smartur
I C yew
Dats wear u gunna
B
If U can spale
Dis is stoop-id
Tryin ta talk 2U
Written by EdibleWords
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Related submission no longer exists.
Amphiboly Phlegm
So what
So what
So what!
Nobody cares when I am feeling lonely
Could care less when I am leaking blue
Time to take a long ass nap
For I am just passing through
& we think
So what
So what
So what!
I wake up sometimes feelin’ high
Wake myself up with laughter
Don’t care if You care
about what comes after
& I think
So what
So what
So what!
Doing my Best
to create my worst
but Yeah
so what
So what
So what
So what!
Nobody cares when I am feeling lonely
Could care less when I am leaking blue
Time to take a long ass nap
For I am just passing through
& we think
So what
So what
So what!
I wake up sometimes feelin’ high
Wake myself up with laughter
Don’t care if You care
about what comes after
& I think
So what
So what
So what!
Doing my Best
to create my worst
but Yeah
so what
My wee lil special guest
It popped on my window as if to say hello
my birdie buddy all sweet and mellow
Dressed in a downy gold gown of yellow
I tried to cheep in tune, join its song to say
'welcome my chirping lil fellow
Oh my it sang then like a feathered cello!
So hi and hello deepunderground fellow worms and twitter tweet tweet
May you find this short 'n' very merry sweet , sweet
This was in honour of my winged guest of honour
For I fawn over you birdies, I'm your fan , a bird lover
Build your nest in my poet's corner, I'm your fawner
Lil birdie you are my VIP, be my guest of honour
I
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Written by Zaynab_kamoonpury
Go To Page
Give It Over One More Time Baby
I miss you so much rancid darling
Every time I am sipping a Carling
Yes my eyes get wet and sparkling
While tearing the head off a starling
And mixing it in with my Darjeeling
And the wind is howling and gnarling
So I know you won't find it startling
That what I miss most is
Your belching farting and snarling
Kinski
This is the worst poem ever writ
No I am an Augustine fellow
You are a gullible fool a twit
The meaning is thin and yellow
Being of this ponderance is alloy
I am not sorry I made you look
The rocket has crashed ship ahoy
But we don't really give a fook
Dewey?
The preponderance
The preponderance!
I miss you so much rancid darling
Every time I am sipping a Carling
Yes my eyes get wet and sparkling
While tearing the head off a starling
And mixing it in with my Darjeeling
And the wind is howling and gnarling
So I know you won't find it startling
That what I miss most is
Your belching farting and snarling
Kinski
This is the worst poem ever writ
No I am an Augustine fellow
You are a gullible fool a twit
The meaning is thin and yellow
Being of this ponderance is alloy
I am not sorry I made you look
The rocket has crashed ship ahoy
But we don't really give a fook
Dewey?
The preponderance
The preponderance!
Hothouse Rhubarb
Force-grown! Chop ‘em up nice in a bowl,
Slice a pound of strawberries and mix.
Put ‘em in a pie with sugar and spice.
Lay the lattice dough across the filling.
Put on a cookie sheet and bake on HIGH
Till black smoke is rising from the oven.
Then call 9-1-1 and yell FI-RE!!
Don’t open the door till the men come
To bust an axe, then let them in QUICK!
Don’t forget, put on your mask, Doll face,
‘Cause the room is full of smoke, no joke!
The big men with the big hose rush in!
Water explodes from the nozzle WHOOSH!
Water’s everywhere, down the hall & walls!
Black smoke & ash oozin’ on everything!
Pots and pans, whatcha gonna do, hun’?
“Let’s eat sum PIE, Mister Men!” you say.
They’re looking at you seriously! PIE!?
Do we look crazy? Are you crazy, girl??
“No sir, sirs, I’m not crazy, but hey now!
Don’tcha think the walls in here look good?
Good enough to EAT like RHUBARB PIE!”
Thanksgiving
Pay attention to the eternal gluttony,
it is the most filling season of all.
Eternal gluttonous country.
Are you upset by how fat it is?
Does it tear you apart
to see the eternal glutton
so heavy with waste and greed?
How soupy is the horrid pecan pie!
Are you upset by how soupy it is?
Does it tear your stomach
up to see the pie so soupy?
This afternoon, I said to myself,
"Why isn't the turkey leg more lean?"
Are you upset by how greasy it is?
Does it tear you apart to see
the turkey leg so obese?
Then get a wing. Whatever.
Just give Thanks
and eat
already.
~
Pay attention to the eternal gluttony,
it is the most filling season of all.
Eternal gluttonous country.
Are you upset by how fat it is?
Does it tear you apart
to see the eternal glutton
so heavy with waste and greed?
How soupy is the horrid pecan pie!
Are you upset by how soupy it is?
Does it tear your stomach
up to see the pie so soupy?
This afternoon, I said to myself,
"Why isn't the turkey leg more lean?"
Are you upset by how greasy it is?
Does it tear you apart to see
the turkey leg so obese?
Then get a wing. Whatever.
Just give Thanks
and eat
already.
~
Anonymous
Related submission no longer exists.
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